The Dog's Tits
Little Green Footballs
Cox & Forkum

Steve Edwards
Tim Blair
Damian Penny
Kim Du Toit

Premium core
Val Prieto
The Wogger
Silent Running
Catallaxy Files
Eject Eject Eject!!!
Currency Lad

Brain Police
Michael Jennings
Alan E. Brain
Daniel Pipes
James Randi

Girls, Girlz, Grrrlz
Emily Jones
Kathy Kinsley
A Small Victory

Two Wheels
Paul Bickford
Steve H.

Beautifully Wicked
Bitchin' Monaro Guide
Capitalist Chicks
Evil Godless Swine
Professor Bunyip
The Rottweiler
Right Wing News
Frozen Montreal

Mr. Mustard
Vigilant TV
Bleedin' Brain
Israelly Cool
Mad Ogre

Aussies Up Your Arse
After Grog Blog
Mangled Gazza
Evil Pundit
Kev Gillett
Casa Troppo
Patrick Hawke


Adam Yoshida
Walter Lippmann
Niall Cook
Joe Vialls
Robert Fisk
Michael Moore
Victor Zammit
Dick Neville
The Daily Saddam
George Monbiot
Jew Killers United
The Guardian
Noam Chomsky
Green Left Weekly
Socialist Alliance


Live Whacking Archive
click "Live Whacking" button for the latest entries

6 June 2005

Hugo Chavez, the poverty-creating tyrant

Steve Edwards exposes the less-than-utopian reality of the left's new favoured Latin American thug.


A festival of freedom

Right now, the 2005 Isle of Man TT festival - where frighteningly fast racing motorcycles tear around public streets - is winding up.

One of the most dangerous sporting events on earth, the TT sees around 3-4 competitors killed every year.

In the age of the intrusive nanny-state, where our elected leaders do everything they can think of to prevent us possibly hurting ourselves, the IOM TT is a glaring anachronism. An event where people are still permitted to take risks and responsibility for their own safety. How dreadful.

Naturally, there are plenty of safety-wussies determined to shut down the TT, and it looks as they will get their wish. An insider told me recently that the 2007 TT is 95% likely to be the last.

That will leave the Macau street race and a few Irish road races as the last examples of motorcycle road-racing. And you can bet they won't last much longer either.

Wether you're interested in motorcycles or not, you should cherish the existence of the IOM TT while it lasts. It is one of the last great "fuck you" statements to the encroaching nanny-state we are gradually being smothered with.



I wonder what Mark Leonard thinks of the recent EU votes in France and Holland?


Space-filling meme

Hey, if it's good enough for Brain Man, it's good enough for me....

1. The total volume of music on my pc:

None, it's all on my Ipod, and I think it's around 15gb.

2. Songs playing right now:

None. The Ipod is recharging in the corner.

3. Last album I bought:

Kill Bill vol.1 soundtrack

4. Five songs I've been listening to a lot:

cook with fire - Heart
windowlicker - Aphex Twin
my happiness - Powderfinger
move to the city - Guns n' Roses
bunch of things on the Kill Bill soundtrack


Space-filling meme II

1. Would you rather be chased by a wild boar or make out with Kirsty Alley for five minutes?

An '84-era Kirsty gets the vote. otherwise, the boar please

2. Who is your favorite US President?


3. Describe a memory from your childhood.

Walking around the Olgas - at age 9 - by myself. Magic.

4. What is more important: the experience or the memory of the experience? Which do you treasure more?

Mostly, the experience itself.

5. Fill in the blank: Republicans do it _______.

Stupidly. Firstly, they're mostly conservatives, and I regard most conservatives as cockheads. Secondly, they're big-spending, big-government, moralistic fucknobs

6. Fill in the blank: Democrats do it ________.

Worse than #5 from what I can see.

7. Have you ever been arrested?

Just stern lectures on speeding.

8. Describe your looks the way somebody who was madly in love with you would describe them.

I've been told I have great eyes.

9. What have you done for entertainment this week?

Went on a 590km motorcycle ride on Friday, riding at licence-losing speeds pretty much all the way.

Take that, you road-safety fuckscum.

10. What are you doing this weekend?

Apartment-hunting, saw a beaut today, and one big dissapointment.

11. What interests you? (In other words: what are your hobbies and obsessions?)

- Motorcycling
- Blogging
- Home theatre
- Travel
- Exposing communists to endless abuse and ridicule

12. Describe an incident in which you demonstrated leadership.

Told a senior academic to go fuck himself in the course of my job. I didn't hear from him again.

13. Tell me a fantasy event, something you would love to see happen. It must be political in nature, and can be completely ridiculous.

Fidel Castro disemboweled onstage with a chainsaw, followed by every member of his government. Then every Cuban exile would be flown to his grave and invited to urinate on it.

Then, the same thing happens to Kim Jong Il and the leader of all muslim dictatorships.......

14. Free Associate:

a. Paulie Shore: Talentless. I respect the fact that he did get to bonk Danni Minogue, back when she was actually good-looking.

b. Overdraft protection: Why?

c. Rent control: Only complete communist fucking retards could possibly be in favour of this.


2 June 2005

Ten Things I never want to see or hear about ever again

1: Big Brother - a group of rock-apes and airhead sluts sit around discussing masturbation and the physics of turds floating in toilet bowls. Fascinating stuff. For some reason, millions of people are addicted to this.

2: The Crazy Frog mobile phone ring tones, adverts & songs - for fucks sake, enough already.

3: Shappelle Corby - talking about it 24/7 won't change it one way or the other, so please shut up.

4: Julia Roberts - can't act. Ruins anything she's in.

5: Paris Hilton - ugh.

6: Star Wars - it wasn't enough George Lucas made a dreadful new trilogy, he had to go and fuck up the old one too. Greedo fired first, my arse.

7: The Davinci Code.

8: Michael Jackson.

9: The male cast of Friends - none of these guys deserve to work ever again. Anywhere.

10: Elizabeth Rohm.


Not quite Mensa material

The Cooky Wookie - still weirdly obsessed over my purchase of an apartment - dishes out some stunning big scary info:

I’m glad you’ve been approved in principal for $100k more than you want. That’s great, but doesn’t mean diddly squat. How much do you much do you! Yeh, man! We can lend you shitloads! It’s never that easy but every lender, broker, mortgage manager and securitiser will make it look that way just to keep you in the hunt. Hell, I can give you an approval in principal for whatever you want. Sight unseen, assets and liabilities unwritten and employment/income unconfirmed. To get me or anyone like me to sign-off on a real fair-dinkum loan is an entirely different kettle of fish.

Amazing, you mean to get a large loan, I'll have to actually like prove I can pay it back and stuff?


Fun with African scammers

For the last week, I've been in contact with 'Pual Eyedama', a nice South African who wants to share millions in loot with me, so long as I provide him with all my bank account details.

Pual seems to be getting quite frustrated. So far, I've given him the numbers of the Cambodian Police Force, and the Canberra Gay Singles Personals line. He reports he is "very confused" and complains that they "hang up in my face!".

I've been able to explain these 'errors' away so far due to 'stress' at work and the "international telephone exchange" being "broken".

I'm currently giving him my 'travel plans' to South Africa in a few weeks. Let's see if I can con him into driving a few hours to pick me up at and very incoveniently-placed hotel.

In the meantime, spambots are invited to visit this:


1 June 2005

An oldie, but a goodie

Q: What would happen if the Fidel Castro took over the Sahara desert?

A: Nothing for five years, then there'd be a shortage of sand.


Best. Book. Review. Ever.

I simply must read this book.



Cookie the Wookie seems very excited about my apartment hunting. Well, I think he is, given the usual clarity of his typed slop:

Thank the Gods he’s staying south of the border. I’m sure Chairman Beattie would be mightily disturbed to find Mr ‘Tex’ on his doorstep claiming he’s Che Guavara re-born.

Niall, when you're attempting to make a quip, coherency would help: is it me or Beattie who'd be playing the resurrected Guevara (more to the point, why would we be likely to?)

Tex Turtleneck is heading out into the big wide world looking at borrowing to buy his first Owner-Occupied. There you go, Tex. A freebie for you in the nomenclature stakes. We in the industry don’t call them ‘live-ins’.

Except of course, for the last four real estate agents I've spoken to, all of whom asked "live in, or investment?". Then again, these people actually have jobs.

There are plenty of pitfalls for the young, unwary player, but I’ll let you find them out for yourself.

Thank God. If Niall's geopolitical wisdom and interpersonal skills are anything to go by, his clients will be shelling out $500,000 for a caravan.

Going househunting without Niall's help is like going fishing without a colostomy bag.

Should be an absolute hoot to read of your frustrations and wasted opportunities, your futile expenditures and lenders knockbacks. Bring it on!

You'll be glad to hear then, I've already been green-lighted for an amount one hundred thousand dollars over what I was seeking, and have had two in the industry offering their assistance free of charge.

Going great so far, Cooky. Better than your audioblog career anyway. Seriously, love the monotonal delivery and the pensioner-esque "caviar and champagne" observations. Way to keep with the times, granpa!


30 May 2005

Favourite TV characters, part V

This one may just be my favourite of them all.....

Character: Chairman Kaga
Actor: Takeshi Kaga
Show: Iron Chef

Takeshi Kaga may be the only actor in history who could be described as a "Titanic-sized ham", and have it meant as the highest of compliments.

Playing the Chairman of the ficticious 'Gourmet Academy', the Great Kaga would enter the giant cooking arena with Wagnerian bombast, in his neo-Liberace wardrobe to announce who would challenge his Iron Chefs. Not one to speak when he could bellow, he was the only cast member not to have his voice dubbed over for the English version, which was absolutely the right decision.

The highlight of the show was Kaga's dynamite unveiling of each week's secret ingredient, which would rise into the arena on a gladiatorial pedestal as The Chairman howled its name (who could ever forget the bizarre/comic/surreal image of a giant tuna's head rising from the pit?).

The greatest tribute one can give to Kaga is this: he may have had only five minutes of screen time per show, yet it simply would not have been worth watching without him.

Allez Cuisine!!!!



Starting to do some apartment-hunting in Canberra, Melbourne and Sydney. Looking for a live-in property, not an investment (the latter can wait). So, for any Oz readers who may wish to chip in....

- any tricks, traps, tips, stories, tales-of-woe on buying a first home? (I mean, other than the bland drool I can read for myself at bank websites and such)

- any specific issues relating to the purchase of an apartment vs. a house?

- What are some good sites, apart from Allhomes and Domain?

- Are there any hard-n-fast rules relating to modifications to apartments (yes, I know they're extremely limited), or do they vary from property to property?

- Prefer new developments to crappy old buildings. In Melbourne, are they any particular suburbs worth looking at for apartments, outside of the CBD?


Dirty commie walking the streets

No, I'm not talking about this slimy douchebag, I'm talking about convicted commie unionist thug Craig Johnston, who's just been released from prison.

During his speech on release from lock-up, Johnston praised his mass-murdering Cuban thug 'comrades':

There is a special mention for one of the people who sent me letters. For those who don’t know, there are five Cuban comrades rotting in US jails. Their crime was fighting for their class like mine. They actually sent me letters. It took them some six months blueing with the US government just to be able to write a letter, so I want to place on record a special thanks to them.

Yeah nice guys. Without them, vicious anti-proliteriat terrorists like Oliver Biscet would be walking the streets.

He also gives a shout-out to his nice ethical mates in jail:

I also want to acknowledge that there’s a lot of good people in that jail, a lot of good blokes who shouldn’t be in jail. Since this government in Victoria’s been in, there’s been something like a 25% increase in people going to jail. I want to thank all those guys in there. I certainly look forward to catching up with them in the future on the outside.

Hey, why not go back in their and join them. Better yet, you can all start using heroin and end up in the same morgue.

Still Craig, I'm glad you're enjoying your freedom. Here's one of my favourite communist photos to cheer you up even further:

Bwahaha. Che-as-Hamburger. Have you even seen such a wonderful image?


"I hate Australia"

Some tax-sucking arts leech named Adam Geczy has an 'exhibition essay' telling us how much he hates the country that supports his worthless, parasitic arse:

On the large central wall of the gallery is a 16.5 by two-metre bold, orange painted slogan “I Hate Australia”. On an adjacent wall a video projection depicts a single shot of a swimming pool, a send-up of minimalist film-making, wherein nothing happens for a 25-minute loop. The soundtrack comprises distinctly suburban sounds and includes a lawnmower, a plane passing overhead and the voice of a boy calling out “John! ... John!”

And here's the idiot himself telling us about it:

This exhibition can be described as a mixed-media installation that expresses frustration at a litany of disaffections that have been voiced by various groups over the past nine or so year of Australian life. The republic fiasco, our treatment of refugees, our damaging policies to health and education, widespread conservative jingoism, war-mongering, and the negative impact of the free-trade agreement on the soft targets of the culture industry. It is an installation that is furthermore motivated by outrage with our unsatisfactory treatment of the indigenous population, particularly in the realm of health and social outreach.

The exhibition is being hosted by the taxpayer-funded Canberra Contemporary Art Space. Amongst the elements in the CCAS' mission statement are:

- inform, educate and foster the participation of the community
- promote high professional standards in the industry

Doing a sterling job on both accounts lads. You cunts should be licking up slops in a soup kitchen.

28 May 2005

"America: Fuck Yeah!!"

Team America: World Police

Quite simply, one of the greatest movies ever made. No wonder it upsets so many leftie film-reviewer weasels.


Time to increase your medication dude

Got an e-mail from "Pete" re my Blacktown communists post:

Thanks for the heads-up about the CPA branch in Blacktown: I didn't know they were still
kicking around there, and now they have a good website to boot! I haven't had any contact
with them since I moved to Melbourne to finish my Modern History degree, about ten years
ago, and it's good to know they're still there.

I must admit I was a bit surprised to see you label them as 'commie dopes': the CPA might be many things, but commie dopes they certainly aren't. You mightn't like what they say and you can ridicule it all you like: but at the end of the day you can't seriously argue
with their factual basis in history.

You might hate their interpretation, but you can't fault their facts.

Um, if you say so.

Well, at least he's polite, which is more than you can say for most communists.....


Best Star Wars review ever

SteveH gives his opinion on the latest George Lucas crapfest.


Not Sorry

It was "Sorry Day" some time last week, a day of much 'sorriness' about the 250,000 Aborginies stolen from their families by evil white people (hey, Phil Noyce made a movie about it, so it must be true).

Pity it never happened. But never mind folks: you continue to feel guilty about non-existent crimes if it makes you feel better.....

25 May 2005

Hola Coño: ¿Por que no comes mi mierda?

The daughter of our favourite bullet-ridden communist is visiting Australia.

Just in case you feel like showing up and emptying your shotgun into her head, she'll be speaking in Melbourne tomorrow at 7pm Storey Hall, RMIT, Swanston Street, and this saturday at the Sydney Masonic Centre, 279 Castlereagh St, city.

If you feel like doing something a little less drastic, you can ask the filthy slag about Oliver Biscet.

Check out the Bunyip for more on our charming visitor.



Go check out Tom Paine's brilliant audioblog. It's 25 minutes long, and doesn't take long to download, even on dialup. Got some funny commentary and interesting guests.

He's remarkably adept at this audioblogging game. It sounds like a swish radio program. No reason at all for that of course.

It sure beats Niall Cook's incomprehensible effort.


What's with the underpants?

The pictures of Saddam in his underpants has made Richard Neville go apeshit.


More commie dopes

From the Q&A section at the Communist Party of Blacktown website:

The Soviet Union was never -- at any point -- a communist state: nor did it ever claim to be one. Neither -- to the best of my knowledge, anyway -- has any communist ever claimed it was. However, it was a socialist country, with an extraordinarily well-developed economy, education, health and social welfare system and standard of living.


Economically -- and politically -- the USSR did not fail: it's one of the 'big lies' of capitalism that it did. It was sabotaged from within and without, and sabotaged quite systematically: but there is a big difference between a system being sabotaged and a system dying through it's own systemic flaws, as I'm sure most people would agree.


D-Day was not a military offensive launched against the Nazis in anything other than rhetoric: it was a military offensive launched to prevent the Red Army liberating the whole of Europe, and to further extend the market domination of US imperialism.


What is new in the Australian government is that it is increasingly becoming openly dictatorial and transparently fascist.

Oh, and revolution is apparently just around the corner. Um, yay.


24 May 2005


George Monbiot is blaming everything on capitalism again. Don't bother reading it, coz I'm about to post the best part:

The Economist argued recently that the best means of solving this problem [climate change] is through greater market freedom: this, of course, is the cure it prescribes for all ills, even before it has investigated the nature of the disease. The problem is that the deaths of people in Bangladesh or Somalia cost us nothing: we have no financial incentive to minimise them.

Well, other than the fact that dead people can't buy stuff and dead people can't make stuff.



Tax sucks

Alex Robson has written a great paper on the disastrous effects of taxation on the economy.

Fuck "social services" and "infrastructure". They're for lazy bludgers who can't be bothered finding a real job and spending their own money.

If it weren't for taxation, we wouldn't have the ABC. I can think of no better reason for the abolishment of government revenue.



Val Prieto has been blogging up a storm from the Cuba Nostalgia Convention. Needless to say, those in attendance have a less favourable opinion of Castro's 'workers' paradise' than idiot western leftists.

One day, Cuba will be free. Fidel's filthy corpse will be exhumed and flushed down the sewer, and every member of his criminal gang will be lined up against a wall and machine-gunned. Well, here's hoping anyway.

The only good commie is a dead commie. Like this asshole:

Ahhh. Guevara on a slab, where he belongs.

How you liking it down there, eh cabron?


23 May 2005

Beyond parody

The great minds at AdBusters are set to strike a mighty blow against ecology-destroying-global-neocon-brandname-capitalism with...wait for it...a rubber duckie:

I recently created a Blackspot product for my packaging design class: a Blackspot Rubber Duck. I thought that this product would be useful for parents who want to teach their children about social and environmental issues. The packaging is a pun on fast-food boxes, and to further this parallel, I included a pamphlet inside made to look like a napkin. The pamphlet includes info on the duck, the Blackspot mission, as well as some ideas for how to get involved. There’s also a receipt inside the box stating the cost of production and what is being made per duck.

.....feel The Power.....

It seems even the other AdBusters boneheads are somewhat baffled by campaign device:

I dont understand what the hell this duck is going to provide for anyone...could u please explain to me what the point of this product is...Thanks

A better product could be chosen though.
Rubber ducks generally arent brand named

How do you want to use a rubber duck to get an environmental point across? What is it going to "do" that will help kids learn about environmentalism?

I get the impression that you have some good ideas but no cohering, overarching idea. For example, if you used a hemp cow doll in a burger box, wouldn't that sort of make more sense?

Still, the Mighty Mallard has some fans:

Well I think the duck idea is an okay plan. I mean I had a rubber ducky as a kid and I played with it a lot (why) because I didn’t have very many toys. A duck product is something aimed more at 2-5 year olds, I mean if you can get a kid to be remotely socially conscious at that age and keep with it then you have something started.

You tell 'em 'bro.

Soooo...we meet again, Mr. Wolfowitz!
Only this time, the advantage is MINE!!

Quack, quack!!


19 May 2005


I just watched Troy on DVD.

Well, half of it anyway.

Jesus, what a monumental sack of crap.

Brad Pitt is spectacularly miscast as Achilles. The guy looks like he'd keel over if he was hit with a nosegay of pansies. A terrific actor in the right role (12 Monkeys, Snatch), his Greek warlord has all the charisma and menace of a chihuahua.

Oh and then there's the bloated musical score, crappy special effects, dull combat scenes, and the creaky dialogue, which is so bad it makes The Phantom Menace sound like a David Mamet play.

"You know nothing of LOVE!!" </cue crashing orchestral music>
"Immortality! Take it! It's YOURRRRRS!!" </cue crashing orchestral music>

Christ, it was horrid.

It also contains one of the strangest insults I've ever heard: Brad sneers to (absurdly hammy) Brian Cox: "You sack of wine!" My girlfriend actually paused the disc to make sure she'd heard that one correctly. Alas, she had.

Peter O'Toole manages a little dignity as the king of Troy, but no one else in this bomb comes out of it without something smelly on their shoes.

Avoid. For the love of God, avoid.


Help needed

I'm looking for a nice, offensive anti-communist t-shirt. Like Che with a bullet-hole thru his head.

Yes I've seen the ones at cafepress. I think they're lame. I want something which will make lefties want to throw paint at me.

E-mail me at tex <at> whackingday <dot> com if you know of such a shirt.


15 May 2005

Quote of the day

The Palestinians aren't really a people in the normal sense of the word. In a very genuine way, they are simply the dark shadow of the Israeli people. Without Israel, they have no reason to exist. The Palestinians were conjured up out of nothing to serve the specific purpose of demonising Israel, and if Israel were to disappear, the Palestinians would vanish right along with it.

Their entire existence is centered around a negation of someone else's identity. Why do the Palestinians exist? To destroy Israel. What do they tell their children their purpose is? To kill Jews and become martyrs. What role should a Palestinian state fill in world history? To be the launching pad for the extermination of Israel.

Five seconds after Israel would be hypothetically destroyed (which God forbid of course) Syria, Egypt and Jordan would start fighting like wild beasts over how to divide the carcass up between them. Any Palestinians who objected would be shot out of hand. And there would be no Palestinian state.


- 'Tom Paine' at Silent Running.


Islamic tolerance in the Netherlands

It seems that the Dutch are waking up to the fact that having a large muslim immigrant community may not be such a good idea:

WHEN the editor of one of America’s leading gay magazines visited the world’s gay capital a fortnight ago, he assumed that he would be safe.

But as Chris Crain, editor of the Washington Blade, was walking hand in hand with his boyfriend near one of the gay districts in Amsterdam, two men standing on a street corner spat at his face. He stopped to ask why, was called a “fag” and suddenly the two youths turned into seven.

Surrounded, Mr Crain was kicked to the ground by the gang and ended up in hospital with a broken nose and badly bruised face.

His attackers were Moroccan youths, blamed by Dutch gay rights groups for a disturbing rise of gay-bashing, as conservative Islamic culture clashes with Dutch liberalism.

For the first time, the Amsterdam Tourist Board has issued a warning to gay visitors to be careful in the city. In the first country to legalise homosexual marriage, gays are increasingly fearful of holding hands in public. Some have been chased out of their houses and middle-class gays are moving to rural areas for safety.

Of course, it's racist to suggest that Islam is a sick, violent, barbaric belief system.......

(Courtesy LGF)


Marcus is Coming

Over at the SMH, this excellent recap of the bizarre tragicomic tale of would-be Australian pop star Marcus Montana.

I remember all those posters too, but the only thing I ever saw of Marcus was about 10 seconds of a shit video that MTV Australia said it wasn't going to show any more of. I'd always wondered what had happened to that guy, and it was fun to finally find out.


"Danger: Mind Controllers At Work!"

So you think you voted for George Bush or Tony Blair or John Howard on their 'merits'? Think again. Media mind control techniques have now reached a new standard of excellence in the west. Out go old-fashioned baseball bats and heavy drugs, replaced by 'low light images', and a new 'color coded language' fired straight down your unsuspecting optic nerve.

Überfreak Joe Vialls explains the real reasons for the election victories of Howard, Bush and Blair.

11 May 2005

Fan mail

Got this a few hours ago:

From: Nick Keaton
To: tex
Subject: [No Subject]

you are a cheap dirty redneck! You are amongst the biggest westies i
have ever encountered! Your webpage is a pathetic outlet for you
frustration about having a misrable life with no positive prospects
for the future! Your opinions are ill informed and you demonstrate
clearly your lack of class! I did read you Do not do list on your web
page but what i've said is completly resonable in comparison to some
of the trash you write!!!

I think that last sentence was written with Babelfish.


...and more...

Niall Cook sent me an e-mail, saying I was too stupid to understand the context of his deep thoughts on know, the insight that war is really really nasty, and that commemorating the end of the war is all just political claptrap from warmongers, coz, you know, it's unsophisticated to regard victory over the nazis as a victory of good over evil. After all, it didn't "solve" anything.

Believe it or not Niall, some of us are quite aware that the small, faceless people of the world suffered the most during the war, and it is for precisely this reason that victory over the nazis should be commemorated.

It was exactly because of the allied victory in WW2 that the suffering of humanity wasn't orders of magnitude higher.

Do you honestly believe that shit you wrote about "ideals, such as democracy, freedom, liberty, and so on are merely salves to guilty consciences which in reality seek domination, political power, and control of people & resources for a singular benefit."? Do you honestly believe that the motives of those who stood up against the horrors of nazism were really to dominate and control?

Do you honestly believe that fighting a force which sought the complete genocide of the racially impure was somehow some cynical political ploy?

Do you honestly believe nothing good was achieved by this "so called victory"?

I'll tell you something: anyone who believes this is a disgusting moral degenerate of the lowest order.

But maybe Niall's right: perhaps I'm just swallowing a load of NeoCon Zionist propaganda. Tell me Niall, what parts of the "subject matter" don't I understand fully? Exactly what did you mean when you said of the allied leaders that their "covert personal motives were all sinister"?

Pardon me while I go and barf.


The Islamic Republic of Sweden

More wonderful multiculturalism.

Nothing to worry about, I'm sure.

(Via Kim)



Now you can listen to, "Tom Paine" of Silent Running on your Ipod! Tom is pretty experienced at this audio broadcasting thingy, and I've seen his home studio setup, which is rather impressive.

Yet another reason for me to get broadband.....


More great food

For some reason, my lifeless, dull, home town of Canberra is almost unsurpassed for great Chinese cuisine. There are more Chinese restaurants than people. There are at least three absolutely world-class joints within five minutes drive of my house, and I live in the southern suburbs.

The latest of these is the phenomenal 'Streets of Asia' at the Tuggeranong Hyperdome. Cheap, quiet, and serves probably the best noodle dishes I've ever eaten. And their noodles aren't even the best thing about them. Three words: Chicken satay sticks.

<Homer> Glaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhh </Homer>


The Federal Budget

Much better than last year, though that isn't saying much.

The Good: tax cuts and the bracket-creep semi-fix.

The Bad: top income tax rate is still too high, as is government spending.

Oh, and the ABC & SBS didn't get privatised. Tax-sucking leftie leeches. The sooner these useless parasitic scum are sold off, the better.


I want one of these please

If there are any drunk millionaires reading this right now, perhaps you'd like to e-mail me your credit card details so I can buy one of these:

The 2005 Honda SP2: the 1000cc v-twin superbike. Flawed and overpriced to be sure, but it's got that gorgeous thundering engine and just oozes both class and aggression. Its limitations really only come out on the track...and I don't ride on the track.

Gimme one of these with a full Yoshimura race exhaust and an Öhlins upgrade. Oh yeah, I'll be one happy boy.

Hell, maybe I'll just grit my teeth and hand over the cash for one anyway. I was planning on buying a "cooking model" VTR this year anyway, why not stretch my budget and get the real deal?

9 May 2005

Jihad TV

It was with considerable excitement that I downloaded the Iraqi Jihad Recruitment video. After the muddled thrill of 'dirty kuffar', I couldn't wait to sample the latest experience in Allah-Excitement Media.

It opens with this rather strange image:

I can't quite make it out myself, but I think it can be narrowed down to one of:

- a large sperm deposit from a very sick African
- a hip new taboulleh dressing
- Stimpy's First Fart
- an amputee's sketch of Iraq

The mystery blob is used as a logo in all the subsequent scenes, starting with this one:

Note the guy on the rock keeping a low, defensive profile.

The jihadists are masters of surprise attacks: pay attention to the clever use of black clothing against the light background of the desert sand.

These tactics are what proved so effective in the Six Day War: jog across open ground in broad daylight, and dance a jig on top of a boulder.

Another picture of the Mystery Blob segues into the next scene:

God's ferocious warriors mass in preparation of walking down a slope......

....and then they walk down the slope.

I'm guessing this stuff must get impressionable young muslims very excited. You can just feel them signing up with Al-Zarquari.

Another appearance from the Mystery Blob leads to this:

More clever disguise tactics: lay beside a boulder, not behind it, and your enemies will be befuddled into surrender.

If all else fails, run directly across the Americans' field of fire and make them dizzy.

The Mystery Blob shows up again, and fades into a fearsome display by the Osama Marines:

Take note children: stationary paddling in still water close to the shore is the best possible defence against enemy fire.

If you start to drown, you can shoot the water.

As the warrior's head starts to sink below the surface, the mystery blob appears and leads us into the final scene:

Lull your enemies into a false sense of security by firing rockets and not hitting anything.

If nothing else, it brings back happy memories of Halabja.

The blob then re-appears, and brings the 2mins16sec of excitement to a close.

The pictures don't quite convey the thrill of the low-res video and ear-grating Arabic wailing. I assure you, if this video gets out, the Americans in Iraq are doomed.


8 May 2005


This howler comes from Niall Cook:

The wars humanity fights are always justified by references to ideals sought by the protagonists. Those ideals, such as democracy, freedom, liberty, and so on are merely salves to guilty consciences which in reality seek domination, political power, and control of people & resources for a singular benefit. Evidence Stalin, Hitler, Churchill, Roosevelt, Mao Tse-tung, and more recently, Pol Pot, Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush. These are just a few of history’s war-mongers. Sure, their initial overt motives may have been clean and above aboard, but the covert personal motives were all sinister, impacted upon by the inner lusts for power.

War is never the answer to any international problem. War never solves anything. It simply creates more and difficult questions. War destroys lives and not just the lives it takes, but the lives of those left behind. This is what deserves to be commemorated on days like today. Not the so-called grandiose victories of the forces of goodness and light over the forces of evil and darkness. That kind of rhetoric is pathetic political claptrap. What deserves to be commemorated and forever remembered with regard to the end of World War Two is the enormity of the lives lost, which is tangible, and the undoubted colossus in numbers of those whose lives were irrevocably altered by it.

Let’s remember the 55,000,000 lives lost and wonder why. Let’s not celebrate the pompousness of the politicians rhetoric in their pontifications over what the so-called victory delivered.

Right. The motives to defeat the Nazis were all "sinister". Nothing was gained by this "so called victory". Churchill and Roosevelt were "warmongers", just like Stalin and Adolf.

Ugh. How to even respond to such gargantuan idiocy?


Tim Blair

He should be arrested immediately for cruelty to animals.


Depressing predictions

Steve Edwards give us his predictions as to how the government will use their control of the senate.

Sadly, I think he's right. If Howard and Costello do not bring about large tax cuts and massively reduced spending during their period of senate control, then history will rightfully condemn them.

Personally, as an absolute minimum, tax revenue and spending should be cut by one third.

If I were running things, I'd introduce a 25% flat tax and abolish the GST and all forms of indirect tax.

Just think of the wonderful spectacle of watching the Greens' heads explode.


Little brother, big punch

I recently had a chance to sample the Kawasaki z750, the little brother of my beloved z1000.

I had little interest in this bike. It seemed like a cut-price version of the 1000: smaller engine, less torque, non-adjustable front suspenders, no windscreen, cheap-looking forks and no radiator covers. And the first ones were in a crummy red colour. Quite frankly, the 750 looked like crap.

Crow is now being served. Not only is the z750 an absolute gem of a motorcycle in its own right, it is in my opinion actually a better purchase than its bigger brother.

The engine is a cracker: it loses very little in terms of performance to the z1000, and actually seems to accelerate better from low revs. The power band is - astonishingly for a smaller engine - actually more linear and free-revving than the thousand. Of course, the thousand's top-end absolutely stomps the 750, but the point is, the 750's engine actually feels better than the bigger bike. Amazing.

Where the 750 really does have it all over the z1000 is in the handling department. Despite the cheap-looking, non-adjustable front forks, the stock suspension gear on this machine works much better than the z1000's. It is a lot more flickable than the bigger bike and feels better balanced.

Appearance-wise, I think the metallic blue model is gorgeous, but in other colours the bike looks cheap. The lack of a screen will make it a pain for long road trips, but it is otherwise as comfy as the bigger bike.

Price is where the 750 really wins out: at $11,290 + orc, it is sensational value for money. While I still prefer the z1000 overall, it's hard to justify the $4,200 price differential. You could use that spare change to buy yourself a full Ohlins upgrade and an aftermarket exhaust and still come out ahead.

Kawasaki's z750 is an absolute rip-snorter of a motorcycle and without doubt the best value-for-money performance motorcycle on the market right now.

Just remember to buy the blue one.


The Vialls Chronicles

At first, Crazy Joe just wrote about his nutcase conspiracy theories behind world events.

Nowdays, he's moved on to some seriously weird hallucinations about current developments in the Middle East.

Did you know that Russia is the most technolgically advanced nation on earth, and has just given a cache of "speed of light plasma weapons" to the Palestinians & Syrians?

Did you know that Saddam's fearsome Republican Guard are encircling the Americans in Iraq and will soon wipe them out with their space-age-death-weapons?

Did you know that "last year's intelligence reports show that the Jewish State nowadays controls some 94% of the global (Ecstacy) drug trade, thereby providing mind-altering chemicals on demand for your gullible teenage sons and daughters"?

Did you know Mikhail Gorbachev was an Israeli agent who was paid with "American Express Gold Cards" to destroy Russia?

Hey, me neither. The Jews must be keeping it secret.


Those peace-loving Palestinians

Hey, let's give these savages a state!

Looking for older whackings?

Wanna see my previous rants against lefty, commie, peacenick wankers, plus lots of fun stuff about motorcycles, music and movies?................ Click here for the full past whackings index


MC News
Superbike Planet
Motorcycle News
Oz Trikes
Motorcycle USA

Scooters & Dealers
Vespa & Gilera
Viva Vespa
Gasoline Scooters

Holly Valance
Maria Sharapova
Eliza Dushku
Katherine Heigl
Michelle Williams
Kate Winslet

Roger Ebert

The Real Cuba
Skeptics' Bible
Hi-Fi Writer
How Stuff Works
FrontPage Mag
The Smoking Gun
Straight Dope
Against Nature
Australian Skeptics
Shooters Party
Currency Converter

Assorted Gubshite
East Side Boxing
Draggin Jeans
Really Cute Chess Geek
Pure rancour
Brunching Shuttlecocks
The Onion
Omega Chess

Death To Spam
Spambot Rooter
Spam Killer
Spam Poison
Spam Clogger
Kill Spammers

Coopers Ale

Hahn Ice
Crown Lager
Carlton Draught
Tooheys New
James Squire

Barrett Rifles
Smith & Wesson
Ruger Firearms


Support Brave Multinationals!!!