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Live
Whacking Archive 6 June 2005 Hugo Chavez, the poverty-creating tyrant Steve
Edwards exposes the less-than-utopian
reality of the left's new favoured Latin American thug.
Right now, the 2005 Isle of Man TT festival - where frighteningly fast racing motorcycles tear around public streets - is winding up. One of the most dangerous sporting events on earth, the TT sees around 3-4 competitors killed every year. In the age of the intrusive nanny-state, where our elected leaders do everything they can think of to prevent us possibly hurting ourselves, the IOM TT is a glaring anachronism. An event where people are still permitted to take risks and responsibility for their own safety. How dreadful. Naturally, there are plenty of safety-wussies determined to shut down the TT, and it looks as they will get their wish. An insider told me recently that the 2007 TT is 95% likely to be the last. That will leave the Macau street race and a few Irish road races as the last examples of motorcycle road-racing. And you can bet they won't last much longer either. Wether
you're interested in motorcycles or not, you should cherish the existence
of the IOM TT while it lasts. It is one of the last great "fuck you"
statements to the encroaching nanny-state we are gradually being smothered
with.
I
wonder what Mark
Leonard thinks of the recent EU votes in France and Holland?
Hey, if it's good enough for Brain Man, it's good enough for me.... 1. The total volume of music on my pc: None,
it's all on my Ipod, and I think it's around 15gb. 2. Songs playing right now: None.
The Ipod is recharging in the corner. 3. Last album I bought: Kill
Bill vol.1 soundtrack 4. Five songs I've been listening to a lot: cook
with fire - Heart
1. Would you rather be chased by a wild boar or make out with Kirsty Alley for five minutes? An '84-era Kirsty gets the vote. otherwise, the boar please 2. Who is your favorite US President? Lincoln 3. Describe a memory from your childhood. Walking around the Olgas - at age 9 - by myself. Magic. 4. What is more important: the experience or the memory of the experience? Which do you treasure more? Mostly, the experience itself. 5. Fill in the blank: Republicans do it _______. Stupidly. Firstly, they're mostly conservatives, and I regard most conservatives as cockheads. Secondly, they're big-spending, big-government, moralistic fucknobs 6. Fill in the blank: Democrats do it ________. Worse than #5 from what I can see. 7. Have you ever been arrested? Just stern lectures on speeding. 8. Describe your looks the way somebody who was madly in love with you would describe them. I've been told I have great eyes. 9. What have you done for entertainment this week? Went on a 590km motorcycle ride on Friday, riding at licence-losing speeds pretty much all the way. Take that, you road-safety fuckscum. 10. What are you doing this weekend? Apartment-hunting, saw a beaut today, and one big dissapointment. 11. What interests you? (In other words: what are your hobbies and obsessions?) -
Motorcycling 12. Describe an incident in which you demonstrated leadership. Told a senior academic to go fuck himself in the course of my job. I didn't hear from him again. 13. Tell me a fantasy event, something you would love to see happen. It must be political in nature, and can be completely ridiculous. Fidel Castro disemboweled onstage with a chainsaw, followed by every member of his government. Then every Cuban exile would be flown to his grave and invited to urinate on it. Then, the same thing happens to Kim Jong Il and the leader of all muslim dictatorships....... 14. Free Associate: a. Paulie Shore: Talentless. I respect the fact that he did get to bonk Danni Minogue, back when she was actually good-looking. b. Overdraft protection: Why? c.
Rent control: Only complete communist fucking retards could possibly be
in favour of this.
2 June 2005 Ten Things I never want to see or hear about ever again 1: Big Brother - a group of rock-apes and airhead sluts sit around discussing masturbation and the physics of turds floating in toilet bowls. Fascinating stuff. For some reason, millions of people are addicted to this. 2: The Crazy Frog mobile phone ring tones, adverts & songs - for fucks sake, enough already. 3: Shappelle Corby - talking about it 24/7 won't change it one way or the other, so please shut up. 4: Julia Roberts - can't act. Ruins anything she's in. 5: Paris Hilton - ugh. 6: Star Wars - it wasn't enough George Lucas made a dreadful new trilogy, he had to go and fuck up the old one too. Greedo fired first, my arse. 7: The Davinci Code. 8: Michael Jackson. 9: The male cast of Friends - none of these guys deserve to work ever again. Anywhere. 10:
Elizabeth Rohm.
The Cooky Wookie - still weirdly obsessed over my purchase of an apartment - dishes out some stunning big scary info:
Amazing,
you mean to get a large loan, I'll have to actually like prove I can
pay it back and stuff?
For the last week, I've been in contact with 'Pual Eyedama', a nice South African who wants to share millions in loot with me, so long as I provide him with all my bank account details. Pual seems to be getting quite frustrated. So far, I've given him the numbers of the Cambodian Police Force, and the Canberra Gay Singles Personals line. He reports he is "very confused" and complains that they "hang up in my face!". I've been able to explain these 'errors' away so far due to 'stress' at work and the "international telephone exchange" being "broken". I'm currently giving him my 'travel plans' to South Africa in a few weeks. Let's see if I can con him into driving a few hours to pick me up at and very incoveniently-placed hotel. In
the meantime, spambots are invited to visit this: pkeyedema@hotmail.com
1 June 2005 Q: What would happen if the Fidel Castro took over the Sahara desert? A:
Nothing for five years, then there'd be a shortage of sand.
I
simply must read this
book.
Cookie the Wookie seems very excited about my apartment hunting. Well, I think he is, given the usual clarity of his typed slop:
Niall, when you're attempting to make a quip, coherency would help: is it me or Beattie who'd be playing the resurrected Guevara (more to the point, why would we be likely to?)
Except of course, for the last four real estate agents I've spoken to, all of whom asked "live in, or investment?". Then again, these people actually have jobs.
Thank God. If Niall's geopolitical wisdom and interpersonal skills are anything to go by, his clients will be shelling out $500,000 for a caravan. Going househunting without Niall's help is like going fishing without a colostomy bag.
You'll be glad to hear then, I've already been green-lighted for an amount one hundred thousand dollars over what I was seeking, and have had two in the industry offering their assistance free of charge. Going
great so far, Cooky. Better than your audioblog
career anyway. Seriously, love the monotonal delivery and the pensioner-esque
"caviar and champagne" observations. Way to keep with the times,
granpa!
30 May 2005 Favourite TV characters, part V This one may just be my favourite of them all.....
Character:
Chairman Kaga Takeshi Kaga may be the only actor in history who could be described as a "Titanic-sized ham", and have it meant as the highest of compliments. Playing the Chairman of the ficticious 'Gourmet Academy', the Great Kaga would enter the giant cooking arena with Wagnerian bombast, in his neo-Liberace wardrobe to announce who would challenge his Iron Chefs. Not one to speak when he could bellow, he was the only cast member not to have his voice dubbed over for the English version, which was absolutely the right decision. The highlight of the show was Kaga's dynamite unveiling of each week's secret ingredient, which would rise into the arena on a gladiatorial pedestal as The Chairman howled its name (who could ever forget the bizarre/comic/surreal image of a giant tuna's head rising from the pit?). The greatest tribute one can give to Kaga is this: he may have had only five minutes of screen time per show, yet it simply would not have been worth watching without him. Allez
Cuisine!!!!
Starting to do some apartment-hunting in Canberra, Melbourne and Sydney. Looking for a live-in property, not an investment (the latter can wait). So, for any Oz readers who may wish to chip in.... - any tricks, traps, tips, stories, tales-of-woe on buying a first home? (I mean, other than the bland drool I can read for myself at bank websites and such) - any specific issues relating to the purchase of an apartment vs. a house? - What are some good sites, apart from Allhomes and Domain? - Are there any hard-n-fast rules relating to modifications to apartments (yes, I know they're extremely limited), or do they vary from property to property? -
Prefer new developments to crappy old buildings. In Melbourne, are they
any particular suburbs worth looking at for apartments, outside of the
CBD?
Dirty commie walking the streets No, I'm not talking about this slimy douchebag, I'm talking about convicted commie unionist thug Craig Johnston, who's just been released from prison. During his speech on release from lock-up, Johnston praised his mass-murdering Cuban thug 'comrades':
Yeah nice guys. Without them, vicious anti-proliteriat terrorists like Oliver Biscet would be walking the streets. He also gives a shout-out to his nice ethical mates in jail:
Hey, why not go back in their and join them. Better yet, you can all start using heroin and end up in the same morgue. Still Craig, I'm glad you're enjoying your freedom. Here's one of my favourite communist photos to cheer you up even further:
Bwahaha.
Che-as-Hamburger. Have you even seen such a wonderful image?
Some tax-sucking arts leech named Adam Geczy has an 'exhibition essay' telling us how much he hates the country that supports his worthless, parasitic arse:
And here's the idiot himself telling us about it:
The exhibition is being hosted by the taxpayer-funded Canberra Contemporary Art Space. Amongst the elements in the CCAS' mission statement are: -
inform, educate and foster the participation of the community Doing
a sterling job on both accounts lads. You cunts should be licking up slops
in a soup kitchen. 28 May 2005
Quite
simply, one of the greatest movies ever made. No wonder it upsets so many
leftie film-reviewer weasels.
Time to increase your medication dude Got an e-mail from "Pete" re my Blacktown communists post:
Um, if you say so. Well,
at least he's polite, which is more than you can say for most communists.....
SteveH
gives his opinion
on the latest George Lucas crapfest.
It was "Sorry Day" some time last week, a day of much 'sorriness' about the 250,000 Aborginies stolen from their families by evil white people (hey, Phil Noyce made a movie about it, so it must be true). Pity
it never happened. But never mind folks: you continue to feel guilty about
non-existent crimes if it makes you feel better.....
Hola Coño: ¿Por que no comes mi mierda? The daughter of our favourite bullet-ridden communist is visiting Australia. Just in case you feel like showing up and emptying your shotgun into her head, she'll be speaking in Melbourne tomorrow at 7pm Storey Hall, RMIT, Swanston Street, and this saturday at the Sydney Masonic Centre, 279 Castlereagh St, city. If you feel like doing something a little less drastic, you can ask the filthy slag about Oliver Biscet. Check
out the Bunyip
for more on our charming visitor.
Go check out Tom Paine's brilliant audioblog. It's 25 minutes long, and doesn't take long to download, even on dialup. Got some funny commentary and interesting guests. He's remarkably adept at this audioblogging game. It sounds like a swish radio program. No reason at all for that of course. It
sure beats Niall Cook's incomprehensible
effort.
What's with the underpants? The
pictures of Saddam in his underpants has made Richard
Neville go apeshit.
From the Q&A section at the Communist Party of Blacktown website:
Oh,
and revolution is apparently just around the corner. Um, yay.
24 May 2005 George Monbiot is blaming everything on capitalism again. Don't bother reading it, coz I'm about to post the best part:
Well, other than the fact that dead people can't buy stuff and dead people can't make stuff. Fuckwit.
Alex Robson has written a great paper on the disastrous effects of taxation on the economy. Fuck "social services" and "infrastructure". They're for lazy bludgers who can't be bothered finding a real job and spending their own money. If
it weren't for taxation, we wouldn't have the ABC. I can think of no better
reason for the abolishment of government revenue.
Val Prieto has been blogging up a storm from the Cuba Nostalgia Convention. Needless to say, those in attendance have a less favourable opinion of Castro's 'workers' paradise' than idiot western leftists. One day, Cuba will be free. Fidel's filthy corpse will be exhumed and flushed down the sewer, and every member of his criminal gang will be lined up against a wall and machine-gunned. Well, here's hoping anyway. The only good commie is a dead commie. Like this asshole:
Ahhh. Guevara on a slab, where he belongs. How
you liking it down there, eh cabron?
23 May 2005 Beyond parody The great minds at AdBusters are set to strike a mighty blow against ecology-destroying-global-neocon-brandname-capitalism with...wait for it...a rubber duckie:
It seems even the other AdBusters boneheads are somewhat baffled by this...er...enigmatic campaign device:
Still, the Mighty Mallard has some fans:
You tell 'em 'bro.
Quack, quack!! QUACK,
QUACK!!
19 May 2005 I just watched Troy on DVD.
Jesus, what a monumental sack of crap. Brad Pitt is spectacularly miscast as Achilles. The guy looks like he'd keel over if he was hit with a nosegay of pansies. A terrific actor in the right role (12 Monkeys, Snatch), his Greek warlord has all the charisma and menace of a chihuahua. Oh and then there's the bloated musical score, crappy special effects, dull combat scenes, and the creaky dialogue, which is so bad it makes The Phantom Menace sound like a David Mamet play. "You
know nothing of LOVE!!" </cue crashing orchestral music> Christ, it was horrid. It also contains one of the strangest insults I've ever heard: Brad sneers to (absurdly hammy) Brian Cox: "You sack of wine!" My girlfriend actually paused the disc to make sure she'd heard that one correctly. Alas, she had. Peter O'Toole manages a little dignity as the king of Troy, but no one else in this bomb comes out of it without something smelly on their shoes. Avoid.
For the love of God, avoid.
Help needed I'm looking for a nice, offensive anti-communist t-shirt. Like Che with a bullet-hole thru his head. Yes I've seen the ones at cafepress. I think they're lame. I want something which will make lefties want to throw paint at me. E-mail
me at tex <at> whackingday <dot> com if you
know of such a shirt.
15 May 2005
-
'Tom Paine' at Silent
Running.
Islamic tolerance in the Netherlands It seems that the Dutch are waking up to the fact that having a large muslim immigrant community may not be such a good idea:
Of course, it's racist to suggest that Islam is a sick, violent, barbaric belief system.......
Over at the SMH, this excellent recap of the bizarre tragicomic tale of would-be Australian pop star Marcus Montana. I
remember all those posters too, but the only thing I ever saw of Marcus
was about 10 seconds of a shit video that MTV Australia said it wasn't
going to show any more of. I'd always wondered what had happened to that
guy, and it was fun to finally find out.
"Danger: Mind Controllers At Work!"
Überfreak
Joe
Vialls explains the real
reasons for the election victories of Howard, Bush and Blair. 11 May 2005 Got this a few hours ago:
I
think that last sentence was written with Babelfish.
Niall Cook sent me an e-mail, saying I was too stupid to understand the context of his deep thoughts on WW2.....you know, the insight that war is really really nasty, and that commemorating the end of the war is all just political claptrap from warmongers, coz, you know, it's unsophisticated to regard victory over the nazis as a victory of good over evil. After all, it didn't "solve" anything. Believe it or not Niall, some of us are quite aware that the small, faceless people of the world suffered the most during the war, and it is for precisely this reason that victory over the nazis should be commemorated. It was exactly because of the allied victory in WW2 that the suffering of humanity wasn't orders of magnitude higher. Do you honestly believe that shit you wrote about "ideals, such as democracy, freedom, liberty, and so on are merely salves to guilty consciences which in reality seek domination, political power, and control of people & resources for a singular benefit."? Do you honestly believe that the motives of those who stood up against the horrors of nazism were really to dominate and control? Do you honestly believe that fighting a force which sought the complete genocide of the racially impure was somehow some cynical political ploy? Do you honestly believe nothing good was achieved by this "so called victory"? I'll tell you something: anyone who believes this is a disgusting moral degenerate of the lowest order. But maybe Niall's right: perhaps I'm just swallowing a load of NeoCon Zionist propaganda. Tell me Niall, what parts of the "subject matter" don't I understand fully? Exactly what did you mean when you said of the allied leaders that their "covert personal motives were all sinister"? Pardon
me while I go and barf.
The Islamic Republic of Sweden More wonderful multiculturalism. Nothing to worry about, I'm sure.
Now
you can listen to Yet
another reason for me to get broadband.....
For some reason, my lifeless, dull, home town of Canberra is almost unsurpassed for great Chinese cuisine. There are more Chinese restaurants than people. There are at least three absolutely world-class joints within five minutes drive of my house, and I live in the southern suburbs. The latest of these is the phenomenal 'Streets of Asia' at the Tuggeranong Hyperdome. Cheap, quiet, and serves probably the best noodle dishes I've ever eaten. And their noodles aren't even the best thing about them. Three words: Chicken satay sticks. <Homer>
Glaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhh </Homer>
Much better than last year, though that isn't saying much. The Good: tax cuts and the bracket-creep semi-fix. The Bad: top income tax rate is still too high, as is government spending. Oh,
and the ABC & SBS didn't get privatised. Tax-sucking leftie leeches.
The sooner these useless parasitic scum are sold off, the better.
If there are any drunk millionaires reading this right now, perhaps you'd like to e-mail me your credit card details so I can buy one of these:
The 2005 Honda SP2: the 1000cc v-twin superbike. Flawed and overpriced to be sure, but it's got that gorgeous thundering engine and just oozes both class and aggression. Its limitations really only come out on the track...and I don't ride on the track. Gimme one of these with a full Yoshimura race exhaust and an Öhlins upgrade. Oh yeah, I'll be one happy boy. Hell,
maybe I'll just grit my teeth and hand over the cash for one anyway. I
was planning on buying
a "cooking model" VTR this year anyway, why not stretch
my budget and get the real deal?
It was with considerable excitement that I downloaded the Iraqi Jihad Recruitment video. After the muddled thrill of 'dirty kuffar', I couldn't wait to sample the latest experience in Allah-Excitement Media. It opens with this rather strange image:
I can't quite make it out myself, but I think it can be narrowed down to one of: -
a large sperm deposit from a very sick African The mystery blob is used as a logo in all the subsequent scenes, starting with this one:
Note the guy on the rock keeping a low, defensive profile.
The jihadists are masters of surprise attacks: pay attention to the clever use of black clothing against the light background of the desert sand.
These tactics are what proved so effective in the Six Day War: jog across open ground in broad daylight, and dance a jig on top of a boulder. Another picture of the Mystery Blob segues into the next scene:
God's ferocious warriors mass in preparation of walking down a slope......
....and then they walk down the slope. I'm guessing this stuff must get impressionable young muslims very excited. You can just feel them signing up with Al-Zarquari. Another appearance from the Mystery Blob leads to this:
More clever disguise tactics: lay beside a boulder, not behind it, and your enemies will be befuddled into surrender.
If all else fails, run directly across the Americans' field of fire and make them dizzy. The Mystery Blob shows up again, and fades into a fearsome display by the Osama Marines:
Take note children: stationary paddling in still water close to the shore is the best possible defence against enemy fire.
If you start to drown, you can shoot the water. As the warrior's head starts to sink below the surface, the mystery blob appears and leads us into the final scene:
Lull your enemies into a false sense of security by firing rockets and not hitting anything.
If nothing else, it brings back happy memories of Halabja. The blob then re-appears, and brings the 2mins16sec of excitement to a close. The
pictures don't quite convey the thrill of the low-res video and ear-grating
Arabic wailing. I assure you, if this video gets out, the Americans in
Iraq are doomed.
8 May 2005 This howler comes from Niall Cook:
Right. The motives to defeat the Nazis were all "sinister". Nothing was gained by this "so called victory". Churchill and Roosevelt were "warmongers", just like Stalin and Adolf. Ugh.
How to even respond to such gargantuan idiocy?
He
should be arrested immediately for cruelty
to animals.
Steve Edwards give us his predictions as to how the government will use their control of the senate. Sadly, I think he's right. If Howard and Costello do not bring about large tax cuts and massively reduced spending during their period of senate control, then history will rightfully condemn them. Personally, as an absolute minimum, tax revenue and spending should be cut by one third. If I were running things, I'd introduce a 25% flat tax and abolish the GST and all forms of indirect tax. Just
think of the wonderful spectacle of watching the Greens' heads explode.
I recently had a chance to sample the Kawasaki z750, the little brother of my beloved z1000.
I had little interest in this bike. It seemed like a cut-price version of the 1000: smaller engine, less torque, non-adjustable front suspenders, no windscreen, cheap-looking forks and no radiator covers. And the first ones were in a crummy red colour. Quite frankly, the 750 looked like crap. Crow is now being served. Not only is the z750 an absolute gem of a motorcycle in its own right, it is in my opinion actually a better purchase than its bigger brother. The engine is a cracker: it loses very little in terms of performance to the z1000, and actually seems to accelerate better from low revs. The power band is - astonishingly for a smaller engine - actually more linear and free-revving than the thousand. Of course, the thousand's top-end absolutely stomps the 750, but the point is, the 750's engine actually feels better than the bigger bike. Amazing. Where the 750 really does have it all over the z1000 is in the handling department. Despite the cheap-looking, non-adjustable front forks, the stock suspension gear on this machine works much better than the z1000's. It is a lot more flickable than the bigger bike and feels better balanced. Appearance-wise, I think the metallic blue model is gorgeous, but in other colours the bike looks cheap. The lack of a screen will make it a pain for long road trips, but it is otherwise as comfy as the bigger bike. Price is where the 750 really wins out: at $11,290 + orc, it is sensational value for money. While I still prefer the z1000 overall, it's hard to justify the $4,200 price differential. You could use that spare change to buy yourself a full Ohlins upgrade and an aftermarket exhaust and still come out ahead. Kawasaki's z750 is an absolute rip-snorter of a motorcycle and without doubt the best value-for-money performance motorcycle on the market right now. Just
remember to buy the blue one.
At first, Crazy Joe just wrote about his nutcase conspiracy theories behind world events. Nowdays, he's moved on to some seriously weird hallucinations about current developments in the Middle East. Did you know that Russia is the most technolgically advanced nation on earth, and has just given a cache of "speed of light plasma weapons" to the Palestinians & Syrians? Did you know that Saddam's fearsome Republican Guard are encircling the Americans in Iraq and will soon wipe them out with their space-age-death-weapons? Did you know that "last year's intelligence reports show that the Jewish State nowadays controls some 94% of the global (Ecstacy) drug trade, thereby providing mind-altering chemicals on demand for your gullible teenage sons and daughters"? Did you know Mikhail Gorbachev was an Israeli agent who was paid with "American Express Gold Cards" to destroy Russia? Hey,
me neither. The Jews must be keeping it secret.
Those peace-loving Palestinians Hey,
let's
give these savages a state! Looking for older whackings? Wanna see my previous rants against lefty, commie, peacenick wankers, plus lots of fun stuff about motorcycles, music and movies?................ Click here for the full past whackings index |
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