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Live Whacking Archive
click "Live Whacking" button for the latest entries

12 January 2006

Costello is a commie!

Steve Edwards isn't happy with our over-taxing, over-spending federal treasurer. Go and read.

It's time this smug, born-to-rule prick gave us some fucking tax cuts, and cut massive chunks out of our dreadful, bloated tax code.

You know you've got a dickhead as a treasurer when even the agrarian bludgers in the National Party start demanding lower taxes.

Christ, if that isn't a reason for suicide I don't know what is.


The grass is just as dumb on the other side

The left has never had a monopoly on idiocy. Proof of this is the always amusing Worldnetdaily website. Essentially a bunch of far-right Jesus freaks, along with some more traditional uber-rightist crackpots like Ann Coulter.

Worldnetdaily has four obsessions which it posts about every single day:

- there is a massive homosexual plot to rape children, spread AIDS and destroy America.
- incoherent ranting about how the latest world events are proof of biblical prophecy.
- creationism is real science.
- Muslim and Mexican terrorists will explode 70 nuclear weapons inside the USA on 6 November 2005 (no explanation for this non-event has been forthcoming).

But the most entertaining part about these freaks is their ever-changing banner headine. The one from yesterday read as follows:

What is heaven like? We ask people who have been there!

I'm guessing one of them is Elvis.



I never make New Years Resolutions, but I did this year: I'm going to lose twenty-five kilograms minimum before Christmas 2006.

I'm planning on riding a (non-motorised) bike to work every single day, no exceptions.

So I've been looking at buying a mountain bike, but I remembered reading about recumbent trikes, and decided to try one out.

Yesterday, I took a Greenspeed GT3 for a brief 13km ride around Lake Burley Griffin.

Man, it was one strange experience. Comparing a recumbent trike to a bicycle is an 'apples & oranges' comparison if there ever was one. A more apt comparison would be to a go-cart.

The main advantage of a recumbent trike is comfort: you're sitting on a mesh/elastic lounge chair (which doubles as the trike's only means of shock absorption), leaning back at a 40 degree angle, with your feet clipped into the pedals right in front of you. The handlebars are on either side of your hips. When you first get on the thing (which in itself is a tricky exercise), it's one of the strangest feelings imaginable. Being so low to the ground takes some getting used to, and other riders and pedestrians seem to tower over you.

My trike was identical to the one in the picture, plus a set of front mudguards, a second mirror, a small bicycle computer and a bottle-holder on the front tube. Oh, and a dorky orange safety flag at the back so you can be seen by cars when you go on the road.

The mirrors are truly useless and an awful design: the stems slope inwards, leaving you with a great view of your arms and not much else. They also hit you in the quads while you pedal.

It wasn't really an ideal trike for my size and weight. The GT3 is the entry-level model in the Greenspeed range and is "one size fits most". The handlebars had to be adjusted outwards, and the right brake lever was always jammed against the right mudguard stem, which made it a bitch to use. The extendable front tube was maybe a centimetre or two too far away, so I kept sliding down the seat. Worst of all, the gearshifter didn't seem to be adjusted properly, which made finding the right gear a nightmare. I was stuck in high gears going up a steep slope, and sometimes too low going downhill.

I got exhausted within 5 minutes of setting off, mostly from the bad gearshifting, the too-long pedal stroke and my own lack of fitness.

Still, I was having fun.

For starters, most of the problems I've just outlined are a simple matter of getting the trike set up properly for the rider. Getting the length of the front tube right and properly adjusting the gearshift would have made things much easier, and would have let me focus even more on the strengths of the recumbent trike.

Aside from the remarkable level of comfort, the steering is simply mindblowing. In fact, the steering is so sharp you need to take all the weight off the handlebar grips, because the slightest touch on either handlebar will see the bike steer sharply. It's kinda scary to start of with: I was zig-zagging all over the path, looking like a complete pratt, and was so out of control I nearly collected a bike rider coming the other way shortly before nearly riding into the lake.

Fightng the handlebars only exacerbates the problem. The solution is to just rest your palms lightly on the stop of the bars, and use only small inputs. The steering is self-centreing, so the trick is to just pedal and relax your hands.

Once you've got the steering figured out, it's an awesomely fun tool, especially on fast downhill sections, where you can scream around corners at a frightening pace with a huge shit-eating grin on your mug. Better still, you can use "brake steer" to help you turn even faster. Both front wheels have their own drum brake, so if you actuate the left brake only, the right wheel will pivot around sharply, even without using the handlebars to steer. Once you've practiced it, it's a useful technique and quite a thrill.

Oh, how I'd love to take the trike to the top of a twisty mountain pass, and make a full-blast descent. While trikes are slower overall than bikes (due to the extra weight and rolling resistance), there's no way in hell a bike rider will keep up with a triker of equal ability on a fast downhill run. The trike is so fucking fast through the corners even a motor vehicle would be hard pressed to pass the trike in the right conditions.

OK, so it's comfy, can turn on the head of a pin, and it's awesome fun on fast downhill runs. What else?

Being on three wheels gives you other advantages. For starters, you can ride as slowly as you want up very steep slopes because there's no minimum speed you need to maintain to keep your balance. And because you're not standing up and mashing down on the pedals, there's no knee strain. And if you do feel absolutely buggered, you can just hit the brakes and sit there until you feel like pedalling again.

There's also the safety of not being able to fall off. Run over gravel or ice in a corner on a bicycle, you'll crash. On the trike, you'll just keep on going. You can tip a trike over in a fast corner, but I didn't even come close to doing it, despite screaming around some corners with my corpulent mass adding a lot of top-heavy incentive for the trike to tip over. It didn't. No-one using the slightest iota of common sense will tip one of these things.

The drum brakes offer plenty of stopping power, even for someone of my size, and have a very good feel at the levers. Greenspeed recommends upgrading to disk brakes, but I don't think I'd bother, unless I were touring with a ton of luggage and anticipated some very long downhill runs, during which the drums may fade. But in a commuting role, the drums bring you to a stop with no fuss.

I was happy to see that the width of the trike caused no problems either. It easily kept on my half of the cycle paths, and oncoming ridiers and pedestrians had no difficulty getting past.

Toe clips/straps are an absolute necessity for a recumbent trike. Your legs are horizontal, and your toes point toward the sky, so gravity is pulling your feet down off the pedals. If you don't fasten your shoes very tightly, a lot of your energy is wasted just keeping your feet on the pedals. Even with toe-straps, my feet gradually started to slip out, and re-adjustment was necessary. For this reason, a pair of secure "clipless" pedals/shoes are a must to get the most out of a trike.

As I said, the GT3 is the entry-level trike in the Greenspeed range, with a small, light build that wasn't suited to me. It also has "only" 27 gears, compared with a whopping 81 on the better models. The GT3 isn't meant for dirt trails or carrying a big load of luggage, and it lacks the super-low gears of the better models have which you'd need to tackle serious-hill climbs. I would have liked a couple of lower gears even for the modest hills I went up, though I doubt anyone fitter than me would have any problem, especially if they kept within the GT3's design brief.

Oh, did I mention that the GT3 can be folded in half? Yep, you can quickly "break" it in two for transport in a car or plane, or even storage.

Despite some obvious flaws and oddities, I had a ball on the GT3. To summarise...

Strong points:

- awesome steering
- comfort
- stability
- unmatched fun and speed on downhill runs
- excellent brakes, even with the basic drum units
- any time you want to stop, you've already got a big comfy chair to sit on
- can be folded for travel or storage

Weak points:

- jarring ride on bumpy surfaces
- mirrors are badly designed and get in the way of your legs
- mudguards interfere with brake levers
- heavier & slower than a bike for the most part
- hyper-sensitive steering takes some getting used to
- light, small build not suited for anything other than smooth roads. Not that good for big riders.
- very difficult to dismount quickly in an emergency

I'm going to have another test of the GT3 in a month or so, after I do some riding on a borrowed mountain bike to build up my fitness a bit. A little more stamina and careful setup of the trike will enable me to give it better evaluation.

I won't buy a GT3. It's not suited to me. I am, however, considering the GTR....

The GTR has 81 gears, higher-spec equipment, is custom-built for each buyer's size & weight and is generally more suited for touring and dirt-road usage.

The biggest problem with trikes remains the price. The entry-level GT3 starts at a whopping $2950, and that's without a luggage rack, bottle holder, second mirror or bicycle computer. The GTR starts at $4950, though does come with a higher level of equipment and a much wider range of frame/seat colours. Add disk brakes, luggage and a headlight and you're looking at $6000 or more.

Still, I'm tempted. If I can have that much fun on a badly set-up machine which was too small for me while I'm so unfit, how much fun am I going to have on a custom-built one when my fitness improves? Quite a lot I'd say. Greenspeed is an Australian manufacturer with a very high reputation for quality, which would make it a little easier again to hand over the dollars.

Would someone like to buy me one, please?

9 January 2006

Archived Thom

Our little Greenie military imposter has crawled into a hole and hasn't been heard from recently, so here's a little gem of his from 2004:

Not a single socialist leader has order anyone killed you moron.


And in case you were wondering, no word from his "lawyers" or the police who were supposedly coming to arrest me.



Do not, under any circumstances, download the Incredimail freeware e-mail application. The cunt of a thing is a nightmare to uninstall, involving endless amounts of registry editing, otherwise, you'll get a prompt to install incredimail every fucking time you start your PC.


Quad meme

Stolen from the cranky old bastard.

Helena Handbasket's responses are included under mine.

Four jobs you've had in your life: barista, dishwasher, contract MS Access programmer, software purchasing/licencing coordinator

Helena: Cosmetic salesperson, artist's manager, theater director, secretary at a Kuwaiti-owned car-parts distributor.

Four movies you could [ and do ] watch over and over: Blade Runner, Office Space, The Godfather, HEAT

Helena: My Fair Lady, The Hunt for Red October, Finding Nemo, A Fish Called Wanda

Four places you've lived: there's only two - Darwin and Canberra

Helena: New York City, Brunswick, ME, Buenos Aires, Argentina, and Canberra, Australia

Four fiction books you can't live without: The Ninja - Eric Van Lustbader, Salems Lot - Stephen King, The Books of Blood - Clive Barker, The Sunset Warrior - Eric Van Lustbader

Helena: The Endless Steppe by Esther Hautzig, Thank You for Smoking by Christopher Buckley, The Fraternity of the Stone by David Morrell, The Thurber Carnival by James Thurber

Four non-fiction books you consider essential: Fatal Vision - Joe McGuiness, The Perfect Storm - Sebastian Junger, Black Hawk Down - Mark Bowden, The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich - Willim Shirer

Helena: The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain, The Joy of Sects by Peter Occhiogrosso, The Face of the Tiger by Mark Steyn, A Short History of Byzantium by John Julius Norwich

Four TV shows you love to watch: The Simpsons, Law & Order, The Sopranos, Iron Chef

Helena: Same as Tex

Four places you've been on vacation: Kyoto, Hong Kong, Los Angeles, Montreal.

Helena: Madrid, Santa Fe, Disneyworld, the Bahamas.

Four websites you visit daily: Tim Blair, Sydney Morning Herald, Damian Penny, Superbikeplanet.

Helena: MakeupAlley, Tim Blair, The Agitator, The New York Times

Four of your favorite foods: Ethiopian spicy beef, fish n' chips, beef vindaloo, Mr Wong's red curry chicken with roti bread.

Helena: Steak and fries from La Cabaña in Buenos Aires, Cuban sandwiches from El Malecon in the Bronx, pizza from Sal's and Carmine's on 102nd street and Broadway in Manhattan, pork medallions in raspberry-pepper coulis from On The Veranda in Highland, NC

Four places you'd rather be: Melbourne, riding my motorbike, NYC, Macau.

Helena: Sephora, Barnes & Noble, Venice, anyplace cold.

Four albums you can't live without: meh, don't listen to music much anymore.

Helena: Soundtrack to Chicago, La Boheme, Stop Making Sense by Talking Heads, Negotiations and Love Songs by Paul Simon

1 January 2006

Quote of the day

Creationism is for people who are too stupid to accept that they descended from monkeys

- Strawman


Quote of the day II

I smoke like a fish

- Scott Wickstein, who was actually sober at the time


Quote of the day III

It's gonna take a lotta fireworks to clean this place up

- Homer Simpson


Happy Bloody Hot New Year

Happy new year folks. I've been too lazy to write anything. Hope you had a nice Christmas, and consumed lots of pork and beer.

It's too fucking hot here right now. It hovered around 40c yesterday and feels just as bloody hot today. Thankfully I now have a nice evaporative cooler in my room. Best $229 I ever spent.

I've also been entertaining Scott Wickstein, who's visiting from Adelaide, Scott is the ideal house guest: he doesn't expect to be taken anywhere or shown anything. Like me, he prefers to sit on his arse, drink beer and watch TV. Especially drink. The guy went through an entire case of Coopers in 2 days. He also a freak in the reading department, reading Anthony Beevor's Stalingrad in a day, and the equally large Berlin the following day.

Today was an equal monument to laziness. It was too fucking hot to go anywhere so we stayed indoors. Fuck all that 'summertime activities' crap.

I finished reading Steve Waugh's excellent autobio Out Of My Comfort Zone. A must for cricket fans.


I've been tagged

The Changeling Brain has commanded me to complete this meme-thingy, so here goes....

The first player of this game starts with the topic five weird habits of yourself, and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Dont forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says You are tagged (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.


1: While showering, I hold my left fist in the small of my back. I have absolutely no idea why I do this. And no, I've never done prison time.

2: I like to watch TV with the sound off while I listen to music through headphones.

3: I'm one of the few bloggers who rarely comments on recent news events, uses a white-on-black webpage scheme, and I don't update until around 1am in the morning, assuming I update at all.

4: I watch the finals or big tournament events in sports I usually have no interest in. I watch the soccer world cup, even though I think soccer mostly sucks. I have little interest in rugby or AFL, but often watch the finals of those too.

5: I am one of the few people on earth who hates mashed potatoes. I'd rather drink paint.

OK, that's my five, and the following five people are now officially required to do the same: Emily, Yobbo, Mr. Mustard, Val and Bunyip.


The Chronicles of Thommia

For those of you who want an update on crazy Thom, here are some details....

1- Thom went quiet just before Christmas. This was after yet another flood of amazingly lame (and contradictory) threats, promising that I was about to be arrested at any moment, and that the folks at the POWnetwork were going to be charged with 'aiding a terrorist' for requesting his public records.

2- As usual, Thom can't keep his own bullshit straight. On the one hand, he says a crime was committed when his records were requested, and that Mary Schantag and myself were going to be horribly punished. Yet, when questioned about his service record, Thom asserts that we never actually requested his records and we don't have them.

3- Despite myself and other USENET posters asking him dozens of times, Thom refuses to clarify exactly when he was in the RAAF, nor can he explain why he does not appear in any RAAF records.

4- Thommy has also used the evergreen excuse of the fake military veteran: claiming parts of his records are classified or 'missing'. This is the dog-ate-my-homework excuse of military imposters.

5- Still no word from Thommy's imaginary lawyers and friends in the federal police.

6- Despite being an 'expert' with the Melbourne PC Users group, Thom still seems to have no idea about how the internet works. When questioned about why he hadn't closed down my website as promised, he said my webhosts weren't able to because I have my own domain. Thommy expressed amazement that anyone with a blog would be "crazy" enough to have their own domain, and that noone could possibly have expected such a thing.

(Next week, Thom discovers the existence of Netscape Navigator 1.0)

7- Thom offers the following explanation of his tortured syntax and spelling errors:

It did come out strange didn't it.  I replied during a thunder storm maybe it got screwed up?

8- Thom demands to know when I'm going to pay his photographer "friend" for his photo. Despite endless requests, Thom has not been able to provide me with any contact info for this person, despite demanding that I contact him immediately.

9- Some random excerpts of Thommy's huffing and puffing:

PS your wrong about athiesm.  There is a Dante's hell and your going to spend eternity locked in a cell with Castro who makes speeches 24 hours a day

Either am I sick one nor am I the one whose lieing that he has all my records.  Nice try with your bullshit about enlistments, transfers and the like not being parts of military records.

Have a shit Xmas

I explain nothing to stalkers and pufters.  You have been cornered in your lies about having all my records too doldo!  And go a head and put your BS on your childish blog, just further proof your stalking me.

Your so unbalanced you think the world has to answer to you.  Its all part of your mental problem.

lefties make things and their right wing bosses over charge for them.

when did you get out of your last lunatic asylum?

be patient, you may be a moron who stalks people but these things take time.  of course every e-mail yous end increases the body of evidence but the clincher is when you admitted that you actually went looking into my records.

Sounds like your a racist and don't t like yanks but thats your problem considering how many times the yanks have had to pull your irons out of the fire in the 20th century so your not speaking Jap or

well I'm sorry if my memory wasn't perfect after 40 years  But its irrelivant, TEX lies and twists everything.  He needs the help of a head shrinker, including the e-mail he sent me today.

How would you know LIAR you haven't seen my records.  Every time I ask a question about them you can't answer a SINGLE question.  Funny that. Maybe your hairy knuckled bitch in Skidmore should help you out?

Why don't you have the lady at the POWnuthouse E-Mail me.  Seems that every time I send an e-mail I get no answer.  I wonder why that is? Gee is that why I wrote SEN McCain for info about them?  answer... YUP

since there is a pending criminal action against TEX I will not put anything on the web.

How long do you think you can keep up your lies about me dildo?

Tell you what freak show, I'm off for Xmas, I know you don't have a life and will post all kinds of anti-American bullshit while I'm gone so have a crappy Xmas.  Whats that your an athiest and your your god and don't celebrate it?  Whatever.

Have a crappy Xmas TEX, I'm off for a nice holiday

By the way I e-mailed Sen. McCains office about this POWnet outfit and am eagerly awaiting a response.

Simple answer.... none of your business  

I'm not going to tell you any classified information or  stuff that might be still classified.

TEX is a liar and does not have my records. I take that back, he is mentally ill and actually believes he does.

Go wash your coke spoon TEX, its looking a bit tarnished.

Looks whose calling who a fraud.  You have the wackiest mentally ill blog on the net and you make Andrew Bolt look like a communist and yet when your asked what you have done to fight communism you say nothing.

Why do you keep calling me that fag name.  I made it quite clear I'm not dating you faggot.

Its real simple TEX, your a cronic liar and a lunatic.  First you e-mail me and say you have all my records and when you can't answer a single question about the contents you change your lies and say this Mary Poppins broad in the USA really has them

Your such an asshole

I don't have to prove anything fuckwit!  Where do you get that sick idea?  I know your a right winger who loves to bash vets but in a democracy people are innocent until proven guilty (where do you live, France or Nazi geremany?)

go out an play Tex, your dinner will be ready later.  We'll put it on the floor next to the dogs' bowl.

The only one going to be walking away is you from court.  Have they contacted you about helping them with theoir enquiries yet?  I have no idea how long this takes.

Thom Lyons - an amusement park for the mind.

19 December 2005

More Thom stuff

1: I've posted a correction to the 'Thom's claims chart'. Kev Gillett has informed me that the Vietnam Gallantry Cross was a valor award, rather than a service medal. The chart is now as it was when I originally posted it. My apologies go out to all recipients of this decoration for the error. Thom's claims, however, that the VGC is the equivalent to the Silver Star is still an outright lie.

2: Further digging on USENET has turned up another Thom claim: our photographer claims to have flown B52s, even though he's 'not allowed to'. Um....what?

He also claims to have piloted an AC-1, an RF-4C, a T-33 and a U-3B. He also says he's flown in a "MiG-15bis" and this year got "half an an hour in a Sukhoi (jet)" as a birthday present. Thom claims to have been an "outstanding airman".

3: Thom claims to have been wounded by a mortar in Vietnam. Wouldn't this entitle him to the Purple Heart? No Purple Heart appears on his records.

4: Thom doesn't seem to know how many 'jumps' he made in Vietnam, or how many ribbons he was awarded. He has claimed figures of "8" and "12+" for the jumps. He has claimed 8 and 9 ribbons (which don't show up on his record).

5: Another weird Thom story appears on his website:

Thom claims that on his way to Australia in 1988, he was forced off the plane and detained in a Fiji Airport transit lounge by Colonel Rambuka's goons wielding SMGs and "wearing fez's, funny shirts and dresses". He was eventually released along with a delegation of Australian travel agents who'd been detained at their hotel by the army.

Sounds dubious to me. Thom emigrated in August 1988, the Fiji coup happened in May & September 1987. I kinda doubt the army was detaining visitors en masse a year later.

6: Another claim: "I was also a part of a POW rescue group between 1989 and 1999 called the Tachen Committee operating out of Thailand." Thom must have been a busy guy, given the fact that he claimed to be an officer in the RAAF during this period.

7: Another oddity, in response to someone who opposed the Vietnam draft: "So its OK that my life gets disrupted cause my dad was killed in Korea and my Mom was poor but the hippies and spoiled college types have the right not to be equally disrupted???"

8: Says he was also trained in "Nuclear Disaster Control" while in the USAF.

Again, how much is true, and how much is horseshit? It's always difficult to tell with old Thommy.


An open letter to Thom Lyons

This is a message to Thom from 'Mr Wong', my RAAF contact who debunked Thom's claims of having served in the RAAF.

Mr Lyons has apparently stated the following things in email traffic to 'Tex', the owner of this site. I wish to set Mr Lyons straight on some issues.

"And finally I see that when I challenged your lies that you got a serving member of the RAAF to check up on my 1988 application for a commission and demanded his name you suddenly changed your story and in your sicko blog state: "I went over to ADFA library today to check Mr Lyons claim of being a RAAF Officer." I? what happened to the member of the ADF. Suddenly its I? Can't you keep your constant flow of lies straight?"

Mr Lyons, I have decades of service in my nation's military. I read 'Whacking Day' because I currently live in Canberra, enjoy Asian food, like motorbikes even if I do not ride one, and enjoy very occasional correspondence with Tex concerning the quality of the food in various Asian restaurants here. That is how I came to notice your claims.

As a member of the ADF, false claims of service in the ADF are of concern to me. I checked your claims in my own time, off duty, in civilian clothing, and checked a source any member of the public can see. This was not done at the direction or request of Tex. It was done because you made false claims of service in the RAAF. Had your claims been genuine, I would have informed Tex of this fact.

By your public statements, you appear to be the antithesis of what the ADF is and stands for. I did not believe your claimed association. Now it is proven false, I have no interest in you. You cannot now hope to obtain credibility for your eccentric views by claiming to have been an officer in my service. You cannot leach off our credibility.

"By the way I'm stillw aiting for the name of the imaginary ADF mewmber that helped you out. I'm sure the head of the ADF would like to hear about him helping you."

Mr Lyons, I sent two emails to Tex concerning your claims. He asked if he could use the material they contained, and as a courtesy to me, did not mention either my name or the name of the other RAAF member who also queried your claims. This is a normal courtesy when asking to publish private communications sent in my own time from my own home.

You may note that Air Marshall Angus Houston is the current Australian Chief of Defence Force. Having served in the same service as him, I know his reputation to be one of honesty and integrity. I know that he looks after his subordinates and believes loyalty to be a two-way street. It is my personal opinion that the man does not know how to tell a lie - but he can certainly recognise BS. Personally, I regard him as the finest senior officer I have ever met. I suspect that such a man would be disappointed with you. I do not believe he would be disappointed with me, for using my own time to guard the reputation of our service!

Your own service in Vietnam, however close to or far from the front line it may have been, was honourable. I do not understand why you detract from it with false claims. In view of what seem to be your scurrilous personal attacks on Tex over this matter, I appreciate the courtesy and consideration he showed. I have less than zero interest in corresponding with you. As I have young children who also use what is the family email account, I do not wish them to be exposed to emails containing possible profanities.

As mentioned, My Lyons, I have no interest in you, now that your claims have been proven to be false. Anyone can fact check your claims, given the publicly available data I provided. You will also note that I have been unfailingly polite to you. Even when referred to by a nom de plume, it is important to me to look after the reputation of my service.

"Mr Wong"

Amen brother.

15 December 2005

Thom again (.........check the update!)

Thom is very, very cranky since being outed as a military fraud, sending me a ton of e-mails. Some excerpts:

Then she wouldn't mind e-mailing me and telling me how she got them when they have been moved to the VA in Washington DC because of a disability claim.  By the way faggot, I'm pretty s ick of your gay name for me.  Go find a herd of sheep if your lonely.

No sir your the one that's mentally ill.  Your blog is a perfect example of your mental instability.  Communism died 15 years ago fuckwit and Castro has run Cuba in over 2 years and has Parkensens desease.

Why should I lie to boost your mentally ill ego?  You will be leaving me alone when your prosecuted.  That last piece of e-mail that you talked someone into helping you stalk me is a doozie and all I needed.

You see moron stalker, I have a copy of everything in my records but since you haven't got my records you won't be able to answer that will you.  That means I take the next step to get you the help you need.  Are you so stupid as to think an American veterans organization would send my records to someone overseas they don't know from Adam and one who is a known stalker of veterans on USENET?

I'm really fed up with Blogger's more than occasional inability to do the bare minimum you'd expect a properly functioning website would be capable of. This is such an inelegant solution, but unless the Blogger people can make the fucking thing behave and play when I want it to, this is clearly as much as I can do... [This paragraph didn't make any more sense in its original context, trust me]

I could go on and on of course and 90% shows how unstable you area. Your targeting a Viet Nam Vet who happens to have run against your fuhrer's party in 2002 is not a surprise when one looks seriously into your history as a blogger and a nutter.  You need to join us in the 21st century.  The USSR died 15 years ago mate, live with it.

And finally I see that when I challenged your lies that you got a serving member of the RAAF to check up on my 1988 application for a commission and demanded his name you suddenly changed your story and in your sicko blog state:
"I went over to ADFA library today to check Mr Lyons claim of being a RAAF Officer."  I? what happened to the member of the ADF.  Suddenly its I?  Can't you keep your constant flow of lies straight? [Thom seems to be very confused]

Why is the ANU employing a liar and a nutter?  And I see you backtracked yet again about your bullshit about getting someone to check the RAAF records but on your blog you say you did it .  Why aren't you in a mental hospital?

[When I asked him why he hadn't shut down my website as promised] Well I gotta admit the website was a hard one.  I didn't realize you were such a nut case that you would actually get a domain.  Now thats nutty.

who are you gpoing to get to defend you in court for stalking?

Theres tons of stuff people do that doesn't make it to their records.  

Funny that she doesn't answer my e-mails but is will to work with a potential foreigh terrorist?  Should I talk to the Skidmore police about that do you think?

Well then I think the Dept of Homeland security should know these people are getting peoples military records and sending them overseas.

By the way I'm stillw aiting for the name of the imaginary ADF mewmber that helped you
out.  I'm sure the head of the ADF would like to hear about him helping you.

I'm definately going after her [Mary Schantag] with the Homeland security people.

Why are you continually violating my rights and the law and stalking me?

be patient, you may be a moron who stalks people but these things take time.  of course every e-mail yous end increases the body of evidence but the clincher is when you admitted that you actually went looking into my records.

My records that you said YOU HAD.  Of course now you say Mary Poppins of the POW Nitwit Net has them.

[When I asked him when he was going to get around to sueing me] well asshole since you are in Australia its unlikely and I'll have to get someone local but there is the non-civil actions first like my charges of you stalking me.  By the way your blog is just excellent evidence. Have a bad day stalker

Heh. poor fella doesn't seem to be coping well.

Note: I've posted a correction and some additional info to 'Thom's Claims Chart' of the other day.

UPDATE: I just came across yet another Thom stunner on USENET, from Sep 13 2002. Check this out:

I did my Reserve time in Colorado and I was also in the Royal Air Force briefly as a flying officer.  (thats the duel citizen stuff)  My asthma was caused by exposure to Agent Orange in "Martin Manor" and other parts of "3 Corps".  I was not allowed to have a RAAF career because of my physical problems.


- now he was in the British Air Force (any of my Brit readers care to check this out?) because of "duel citizen stuff". Thom is therefore claiming British citizenship as well!
- he is a victim of Agent orange
- claims he wasn't in the RAAF (which proves the 'RAF' mention was clearly meant to indicate the British Air Force)

Bwahaha!!! Oh my God. This guy is the Tolstoy of Bullshit.

13 December 2005

Sydney Islamoid riots, redux

Our peace-loving Islamic bretheren are still running wild in Sydney's suburbs, playing their favourite pastime of "bash whitey".

Any chance we could import some serving IDF officers for 'crowd control'?

Just saying is all......

Fucking pigs.


Thombusting, part 2

Our Castro-loving Greens candidate not only lied about serving in the RAAF, he lied about his Vietnam service with the USAF as well.

This morning I received an e-mail from Mary Schantag, of the POWnetwork. She has just received Thom's DOD records and passed on the info. Let's see how Thom's claims stack up:

Claim status
Joined USAF 1964
Basic training at Lackland AFB Texas      
Tech school 1964-65 Lowry AFB, Colorado
Awarded the Air Force Good Conduct Medal
Awarded the Vietnam Service medal
Awarded the Vietnam Gallantry Cross with palm leaves  
Achieved rank of Sgt
Posted to 6470th RECON in 1967 billeted in the "1200 Area"
Awarded a Presidential citation
Awarded the Bronze Battle Star
Misleading **
Awarded Vietnam Airborne wings
Nominated for the Bronze Star, which he "turned down"
Claimed the Vietnam Gallantry Cross with palm leaves is 'equivalent to the Silver Star in the USA'
Claimed to be with 13th Recon at "Martin Manor"
False ***

(** - the "Bronze Battle Star" is not a seperate award, which is the way Thom always mentions it. It is actually the Bronze Service Star, and in Thom's case, is part of his Vietnam service medal, and according to Mary Schantag of the POWnetwork, it means simply he was there for more than one campaign. It is not a valor decoration.)

(*** - According to the good folks at POWnetwork, 'Martin Manor' was the name of a washroom at Kontum, which from a quick glance at the map, is over two hundred miles from Tan Son Nhut, where Thom's records say he was stationed)

And this is just the stuff which can be checked against his DOD sheet. What other crap has this Walter Mitty made up? Oh, right, his RAAF service....

I guess it's too much to expect a public apology from Thom. I did just get this e-mail from him though:

You seem to think this is a conversation when its nothing of the sort.
Your the stalking and I'm the victim and now you've admitted you have
involved a member of the RAAF in your crimes.

Oh by the way Mary did no such thing.  Its all in your sick mind.

Denial is a beautiful thing.


12 December 2005


Thom Lyons - the Victorian Greens election candidate and Castro-loving lunatic - was never an officer in the RAAF. Here are some claims he made (with links to the USENET posts and website in question):

As a duel citizen I was also required to serve in the Australian military and did so in the RAAF as a flying officer.

Since I believe in national service (something the right doesn't especially the fortunate sons like Bush) I also signed up for the RAAF.

I didn't apply for a RAAF commission till 1988

The third day I was in country I got a call from the Royal Air Force asking me if I'ed consider joining the RAAF as a direct entry office in the photo field.  I told um about working on the reunion and they said they could delay entry.  It seems that they had only one officer left in the photo field with real combat experience.  They promised me my choice of posting as a teacher at the photo school at SALE or to the recon lab at Laverton, commission at the rank equivalent of Captain in the USAF and promotion to Major in 2 years.  I took it.

My Air Force contact - 'Mr Wong' - wrote again today. Here's the e-mail. Read the whole thing.

I went over to ADFA library today to check Mr Lyons claim of being a RAAF Officer. I did this by checking the 'Air Force List'. For those who have not heard of this, it is an official annual publication listing every (and I do mean every) RAAF regular and Reserve Officer. There are no exceptions, everyone is listed. If Mr Lyons was ever in the RAAF as an officer, as claimed, he would be in the Air Force List. I checked every annual from 1983 to 1993. Over this period, there were three officers with the surname 'Lyons'. One was a RAAFAR officer, present in the List for only a brief
time. One was a special duties officer, an ex-enlisted member of the RAAF
who had obtained Commissioned rank, with a date of seniority of 1983. The
final one was a young engineer, who graduated in the early 1990s. None have
Mr Lyons initials or are named 'Thom', or 'Thomas'. None of their birth
dates matches Mr Lyons apparent age, even closely. There is absolutely no,
repeat no, possibility of any of them being this Mr Lyons.

The volumes concerned can be inspected by anybody who attends the library of
the Australian Defence Force Academy and goes to the main collection. If you
are a member of the public, just ask the duty librarian if it is OK to check
a reference in the stacks, they will tell you that this is no problem. In
fact, they are so friendly and helpful that they will probably assist if
this is your first time at ADFA library - just ask for assistance. Just be
aware that it is student service training and leave time right now, and the
library closes at 1700 sharp. The volumes in question are called 'The Air
Force List'
and are located at UG 635.A88, in the stacks on the first floor
of the library (turn right 180 degrees, then left as you come up the main
stairs, you will see the V-Z stacks ahead of you). The volumes for 1990 and
1991 are missing, so I went over to Russell Offices and found an old friend
(a bit of a bower bird) who had these. Mr Lyons was not in the 1990 or 1991
volumes, either.

Therefore, there is absolutely no possibility whatsoever that Mr Lyons is
telling the truth
. He was never an officer in the RAAF in any capacity. I
have checked this for you, as I object to people who make false claims about
service in the RAAF. Like the other two services, are an ethical and
honourable profession-at-arms with a good history of service to our country,
and I do not like it when anyone falsely claims to have served with us, or
the Navy or Army either. Mr Lyons is not an honourable man, to have made
this false claim. He is not fit to have served with us.

Gee. Thom Lyons lied about his RAAF service. What a shock. What an asshole.

Hmmmm.....what to do with this lying prick?


Sydney riots

Sorry lefties, one afternoon of violent drunken assholes on the beach does not equate with years of vicious Lebanese gangs intimidating, raping, assaulting, murdering and generally terrorising the rest of the Sydney population.

I'll leave further comments to Paul Sheehan and Tom Paine. Both essential reading.

11 December 2005

Scary Thom

Following on from his fearsome non-existent lawyers, non-existent 'communications tribunal' and non-existent friends in the Federal Police, the Castro-loving Greens candidate Thom Lyons has issued more threats:

Your continual harrassment is why I complained to the VIC police on friday.


What shall I do with you?  Contact your boss, or the federal police directly?

My knees are trembling as we speak.

You obviously have serious mental problems.  Do you plan on doing anything about it.  Taken down your picture of Castro yet.

Speaking of mental problems Thommy, I've had two currently serving members of the Australian military write to me in the last few days, pointing out further holes in your military service claims.

Here's the first correspondent, whom I'll name 'Troy McLure' :

Thom claims to have served in the "photo field" of the RAAF. This is a very vague description and most unusual for a military professional where precise terminology is impoortant. Is he referring to photojournalism or imagery and assessment? [...] I am currently [description deleted by Tex] at RAAF Laverton and there is not, and never was a "Recon Lab" at this location.

I would also like to know how Thom was "reactivated" at the age of 56. The mandatory retirement age for service personnel is 55. Very rare exceptions are made for members such as Peter Cosgrove, but I do not think Thom has the same stature [...] Another factor is that the cut off for the inactive reserve is 55, no exceptions.

Here's the second correspondent, whom I'll name 'Mr. Wong'. Mr. Wong is currently in the RAAF, and is doing some checking into Thom's claims:

First, on Thom's claims that he came to Australia in 1988 after being hired by Australian Defence Industries:

Smells like Bullshit. If he was 'working for the Navy' at this time, then the accessing of his skills would have been done through one of a series of MOU we have with the USN and thru them with its contractors. If he was working for the USN as a member, he would simply have been posted. We had a US civvy contractor working with us at the time and his employment was done thru this mechanism. The contractors loved it because it guaranteed higher pay, and their company made a motza as well, so everyone was happy.

Next, Mr. Wong comments on one of Thom's other claims:

THOM: "The third day I was in country I got a call from the Royal Air Force asking me if I'ed consider joining the RAAF as a direct entry office in the photo field.  I told um about working on the reunion and they said they could delay entry.  It seems that they had only one officer left in the photo field with real combat experience.  They promised me my choice of posting as a teacher at the photo school at SALE or to the recon lab at Laverton, commission at the rank equivalent of Captain in the USAF and promotion to Major in 2 years.  I took it. "

MR. WONG: I call 'Bullshit' Transfers are simply not done like this. The RAAF had plenty of Vietnam war era blokes about at that time, including Imagery analysts, and we have NEVER had specialist dedicated IA's as an independent stream. We had no Photog officers, only troops and SNCO. IA officers are line intelligence officers who do the imagery course, they usually managed the PHOT's in the FEG Phot shops. There was no photo school at Sale that I am aware of (I will have to check this with some old-and-bolds) unless he means the little PHOT facility for the base, and there has not been a 'recon lab' at Laverton since the Central Flying School training facility was closed there in 1947. There ARE two facilities which the description 'recon lab' might fit. Neither are or ever have been in Victoria.

Mr. Wong also provided two questions to ask Thommy. Questions a real RAAF officer would know the answers to.

When I sent Thom these questions, and asking for a comment on the e-mail above, Thom replied with the comments you see above.

He's really not happy about having his claims checked on, is he?

And in case you were wondering, I still haven't heard from his lawyers.


War of the worlds

Caught up with the Spielberg/Cruise sci-fi epic last night.

I enjoyed it tremendously, though it could have been better.

Spielberg is always at his best when he's being dark, and the mood of this end-of-the-world epic is pitch-perfect.

Kudos to Spielberg for the 'minimalist' approach of keeping it focused on Cruise's character and his family. The genuinely scary tripods are seen and heard - often in the background - as a huge, unstoppable terror, through the eyes of the humans. The visuals were astounding (I generally loathe obvious SFX), but it was the extraordinary use of sound that makes so much of the movie unsettling. The noise of the 'fertilisation' sequence while the family hides in the farmhouse basement was superb.

Cruise does a surprisingly good job as the dickhead dad. Probably because Cruise himself is such a dick.

There are two problems with the movie. First, the masive plot holes related to the tripods being hidden in the earth for thousands of years (nobody on the planet dug one up by accident?), and secondly, the rapid conclusion. One minute the humans are being wiped out, then suddenly, the aliens are dying, and it's 'movie over'. It's a lame, poorly constructed ending to a tense epic that deserved better.

Still, it's well worth a look, especially if you have a big screen and surround-sound. Those tripods rock butt.


The Clearing

Willem Defoe kidnaps rich guy Robert Reford.

Helen Mirren - the rich guy's wife - wants him back.

Defoe and Redford have a bunch of dumb conversations about nothing.

Stuff happens.

You never find out why any of it happened, or who these people really were.

It's all quite watchable, and quite completely pointless. This is a film about, well, nothing.


A recent anniversary

John Lennon was a worthless cunt who is doing more for the world as grave fertiliser than he ever achieved in life.

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

This coming from the guy who had an air-conditioned room for his fur coats.

Fucking douchebag.


7 December 2005

Thom Lyons: the Truth-telling Greenie

For a decorated Vietnam veteran, Thom Lyons seems rather desperate to prevent anyone from looking at his US service records.

First he claimed that requesting his records is a criminal offence (it isn't), and that it requires his permission (it doesn't), and that I would be arrested the second I set foot on American soil if I asked for them. Uh-huh.

Second, he's been sending an increasingly frantic series of e-mails to the folks at POWnetwork, who have filed a request for his records. Thom is claiming on USENET that he is having "discussions" with them, and that they are not carrying out any such check.

Problem for Thommy is that the good folks there have been notifying me of Thom's amusing correspondence. Thom wasn't aware of this, so has been caught out lying through his teeth yet again.

You see, Thommy has been trying to convince the USENET crowd that I've been lying about his contradictory claims, and demanded I post the name of the person at POWnetwork who I'd been talking to, so he could deny it:

Thom: Now tell us the name of the person whose going to get them for you and why you haven't just gone over to the Embassy and requested them yourself?

Me: I've already told you over and over who has requested them, dumbass.

Thom: No you haven't  Give us the name of the PERSON who said they would send you my records.

Me: Mary Schantag from the POW Network. You know, the person you've been sending e-mails to (hey, gotten a response yet Thommy? hehehe)

Thom: well since there seems to be no one named Schantag there.... no. And tell us how is this imagainary woman going to break into the records center and steal anyones records?


Sorry but theres been no government requests. [...] Also tell us WHERE he'se going to get them from?

Me: Why don't you ask *her*?

Thom: Why when she doesn't exist.  Why don't you just go over to the Embassy so they cxan laugh you off the property?

Strange then, that Thom had written this non-existent Mary person the following e-mail only hours earlier:

>Date: Tue, 06 Dec 2005 15:01:13 +1100
>From: Thom Lyons <>
>To: Mary Schantag

>Dear Mary:
>I'm writing because of a cyber-vet stalker [...]

Thommy old boy, here's some advice: if you're going to tell lies in public, first make sure your intended accomplice is actually on board.

By the way since you love stalking veterans so much why don't you go over to the
defence ministry and demand all the records of the Gul War and Afghan Veterans be released?

Heh. What a nutbag.


Thom Lyons - additional notes

A few brief mentions of other noteworthy claims Thom has made:

- his father was in the IRA and was assassinated by MI6 in 1950 in New York City.

- about his entry to Australia:

I was working for the Navy when Austraian Defence Industries (and they spell defence differently down here so don't get on your high house) asked me to work on one of my designs for them and Kim Beazley the Minister for Defence got me my Visa.  I arrived here on Aug 3rg 1988

Mmmmkayyyyy. There's a few problems with this story....

1> ADI wasn't incorporated until 1989. It was formerly part of the government: the Office of Defence Production. And I kinda doubt they hired Americans with no specialist skills whatsoever.

2> Thom has said elsewhere he moved to Australia as a retiree.

3> on his website, he said "I came to Australia to work on the Viet Nam Veterans International Reunion as the American co-ordinator.  I also wanted to do volunteer work at the Viet Nam Veterans Counciling Centre.  I had being doing counciling for 3 years."

4> I seriously doubt the Defence Minister personally handled his visa application.

5> His arrival date in Australia varies between August 1 and August 3, 1988.

6> says he was recruited right into the RAAF, despite working for ADI and being retired at the same time: "The third day I was in country I got a call from the Royal Air Force asking me if I'ed consider joining the RAAF as a direct entry office in the photo field.  I told um about working on the reunion and they said they could delay entry.  It seems that they had only one officer left in the photo field with real combat experience.  They promised me my choice of posting as a teacher at the photo school at SALE or to the recon lab at Laverton, commission at the rank equivalent of Captain in the USAF and promotion to Major in 2 years.  I took it. "

- the story about the death of his wife changes all the time:

In march 95, I ended up living with my X-Wife in that same house in Arvada that we bought in 1971.  Three years later in July 97 she was struck with cancer and I lost her 89 days later.

The fascist medical system there wouldn't give her an MRI because its not cost effective
and 2 years later she died of brain cancer.

Then we have the HMO that murdered my wife.  For years they refused an MRI for her headaches till she had a stroke and the MRI found 8 tumors.  She died 58 days later.

- despite having the spelling & comprehension skills of a chipmunk, Thom claims to have taught 'military history' at the University of New Mexico 'in the 80s'.

- Thom has alternatively claimed that he is retired, but also that he is currently a teacher with an Australian Certificate IV teaching qualification.

- Somewhere in all this, Thom claims to have once run a business "for almost 20 years on socialist principles of honesty and service to the cusomer."

There may well be a kernel of truth in some or all of these, but I suspect there's a large pile of bullshit to be sorted through as well.

Don't you think if you could explain these things, you would? Yet, as usual, Thom's only responses are threats, ravings about 'mental illness', and outright lies.


Problem solved

Thanks to readers Geoff B. and David P. who wrote in with advice on my IDE-USB problem. Their advice worked, and I'm now speedily transferring all my files to the new PC.

4 December 2005

Buell XB9R - road test

Had a chance to test a race-kitted, 2nd-hand Buell XB9R Firebolt last week. It was quite an experience. How can such a fundmentally flawed motorcycle be this much fun?

Sadly, I didn't get to ride one of the white or yellow ones, I had to make do with a dull shade of blue.

The bike I was on had 14,000+kms on the clock, and a broken speedo. The 'race kit' as far as I can tell consists of a very loud pipe and a remap of the injection to suit.

First impressions were good. The footpegs are high-set but the bike is otherwise quite comfy even for someone of my tall, corpulent dimensions. The position of the handlebars seemed spot-on, and the switchgear was easy to use.

Powered by modified version of the Harley Sportster 883 Engine, the XB9R is a seriously schitzoid motorcycle. Here we have super-compact, quick-steering sportsbike built around a tall, overweight, crude and laughably underpowered motor.

The first thing I noticed about the engine was how badly it vibrates. Some would call this 'character'. I call it 'shit engineering'. The bike shakes so badly at the lights it's a wonder the mirrors didn't fall off.

Get the bike moving though, and it'll bring a smile to your face. The throttle response is simply brilliant, thanks to some good engine mapping and the belt-drive, though it did have a hiccup in the fueling in 1st gear. It had a nice surge of torque for brisk acceleration, at least until to hit redline, which comes in at a laughable 7,000rpm. You've barely opened the taps before you have to kick it up a gear. Between 5,500 and 7,000, you've got a glorious burst of power, but you'll hardly have time to enjoy it. It would be even worse on the stock bike, with less power and less torque to play with.

The clutch action was surprisingly smooth, though the gearshift was tractor-like. Oh, did I mention how great this bike sounds with a loud pipe on it?

The biggest problem with the bike are the suspenders, which are absolutely dire if this demo bike was any indication. I've read in some overseas reviews that the bike needs some serious suspension tweaking before it will deliver the handling you'd expect from such a compact bike. I'd love to ride an XB9R with an Ohlins kit fitted.

The quality of finish wasn't really up the scratch for such a pricey bike, and as the broken speedo indicates, Buells have a long, long way to go before they catch up to Japanese build quality.

Oh, and the brakes are pretty ordinary too.

That's a lot of faults for a $16,000 sportsbike that will get blown to the weeds by pretty much any Japanese sports tackle. Yet I had an absolute ball riding this bike. Maybe it was the weirdness of a huge, lumpy v-twin in such a tiny frame, or the experience of riding a sportsbike that sounds like a chopper. Maybe it was the handling potential that lies in the super-compact chassis. Riding a Buell is an experience unlike any other on two wheels.

But I can't help but wonder how good it would be with a Japanese powerplant inside. The stock bike puts out a feeble 80+hp. Compare that to the hardly-cutting-edge VTR1000, which puts out 105hp. Despite the fun factor, the fact remains that the XB9R is hobbled in the performance department by a dickless cruiser engine.

The XB9R was a hoot to ride, and I'd love for Santa to bring me one for Christmas, but if I'm gonna buy a Buell, it'll be the XB12R or nothing.


Asking for help from PC geeks

Since getting my new PC, I've been trying unsuccessfully to get my stuff off my old PC hard drive.

I bought an 'R-Driver' USB-to-IDE cable.

Try as I might, I cannot get my current WinXP PC to recognise the thing when I plug it in. It simply doesn't appear as an external drive or device.

- have tried plug-n-play and using the R-Driver drivers.
- have tried running the old drive powered and non-powered.
- have tried different USB ports. No problem using any other USB device.
- my current XP machine simply won't start when the old drive is plugged in at startup. Plug it in later, it just doesn't get recognised.
- no amount of farting around with "add hardware" has achieved anything.

And yes, the old drive is in "slave" mode. I've checked over and over.

Would this be a firewall issue? I use Macafee personal Firewall Plus, with the normal security settings.

Any suggestions? This sucks.


Death to bicycles!

Love it...


Still no Thommy action

Thom Lyons still hasn't sued me or had me arrested, as promised.

He is, however, still huffing with rage about my checking up on his claims of military service. Apparently unaware that anyone can request a D.O.D. record, Thom claims this is breaking privacy laws, and has 'dared' me to go to the US Embassy and request his records, because they'll 'arrest' me.

Oh, and if anyone was in doubt as to just how crazy Thom Lyons really is, check out his explanation as to why he's not willing to answer those pesky questions about his military service:

Thom: Ever heard of eschelon ?

Me: LOL. What does eschelon have to do with your lies?

Thom: Well since I'm not the liar and nutter around here it has to do with the fact they monitor everything including this news group looking for Terrorist and dangerous people like you.

So.....Thom won't explain his contradictory claims of military service, because Eschelon will be spying on his answers. Um, yeah, I can see how letting the US government get publically available info they already have is such a frightening idea.

Remember kids, this is the man described by the Victorian Greens party as:

he is one of the most highly educated Greens and potentially a great asset to the State Government

As what? An organ doner?

29 November 2005

Quote of the day

"It's like Tennessee Williams, with cheese"

- Fez, That 70's Show


Quote of the day II

"I keep an extremely clean penis"

- Alan Shore , Boston Legal


I really don't get it

I managed to miss the entire OSM/Pajamas Media circus until last week, until I noticed Steve The Hog giving them a bollocking. At first I couldn't figure out why the grumpy bugger was going on and on about it, but the more I read, the more bizarre it got.

As far as I can work out, Charles Johnson, Glenn Reynolds and a whole bunch of quality huge-name bloggers raised a whopping USD$3.5 million to start this....whatever the fuck it is.

The whole thing seems to be a colossal balls-up. First, the silly buggers forget to register the damned "OSM" name, and have to go back to "Pajamas Media". Except, er....they're still using the OSM url.

Then there's the content: what content? There's a ton of blogger profiles, and lots of waffle about how great it's all going to be, but one questions still remains:

What the fuck is it ABOUT?

Is it a group blog? There doesn't seem to be any posts. Is it a media-monitoring site? Well, no.

And now, there's a "discussion" going on, asking "What should Pajamas media be?"

Um, fellas, shouldn't you have worked that out before you raised millions of dollars of other people's money?

Does anybody out there actually know what Pajamas Media is supposed to be doing?

Why the hell did they need to raise $3.5 million to start what looks like an incredibly boring group blog with hardly any posts?

Why do I think Pajamas Media is going to end up as an iconic MBA case study in how not to start up a company? It's as if Margot Kingston is running the bloody thing.

(...and since I wrote this, I see Tim Blair has jumped ship. Wise move, Tim)


Do you think he's hiding something?

My efforts to verify ex-Greens candidate (and Castro apologist) Thom Lyons' claims of Vietnam service have thrown the poor fellow into a state of panic.

He's sent me a flood of private e-mails promising to have me arrested and committed to a mental facility if I check on his military service record, and says no one is allowed to check his service records without his permission. Odd behaviour for a man who constantly boasts about his service "fighting the commies" in Vietnam, and who once said his records were available "on the web" (they aren't).

Hmmm, why would Thom be worried about someone checking up on his claims? Probably because some of them might be a little difficult to explain. Amongst them:

Thom says he served with Australian Infantry unit 2RAR in Vietnam, despite also claiming he was in the US Air Force.

Nobody named Thom Lyons or Thomas Patrick Lyons appears on the Vietnam nominal rolls. A few days ago, he denied ever saying he served with 2RAR. When I quoted his own words from the google archive, and asked why his name did not appear on the nominal rolls, his only response was "go see a shrink".

Thom said he was drafted into the RAAF, yet elsewhere claimed he volunteered. Thom has not provided any details of when he served in the RAAF, not to mention the fact that nobody was drafted into the RAAF.

When asked - repeatedly - to clarify wether he volunteered or was drafted into the RAAF, Thom again refused to provide details, and raged at me that I was mentally imbalanced and "a danger to the community".

Thom made the bizarre claim that in 2003, as part of the RAAF 'inactive reserves', he had been called up for a physical so he could be 'reactivated'. Thom was fifty-six years old at the time. Yet elsewhere, he claimed he had "put his hand up" to join the Air Force just before the 2003 Iraq war, but was turned down on the grounds of old age.

Thom claimed to have worked at Los Alamos between 1980-85. According to a check done by the folks at the POW Network, no one named Thom Lyons worked there during that time.

This is just a sample of the massive jumble of contradictory and bizarre claims Thom has made on the internet.

The POW Network has filed a request to see Thom's service record. It should arrive in about a month and they'll let me know what it contains.

I guess we'll finally see exactly how many porkies old Thommy has been telling.

Oh, and still no word from his "lawyers". Surprise, surprise.



Games, games, games

Listen up: Far Cry is the best first-person shooting game, ever. No other game even deserves to be compared to it. The gameplay, atmosphere, weaponry, AI and fun levels are light-years ahead of Doom, Quake, FEAR and every other game in the genre.

Also, I've been forced to revise my opinion of EA Cricket 2005. It turns out that the default difficulty setting is "medium". By switching it to "easy", the game become somewhat playable. It's still too difficult to score runs and play any shot other than a drive - especially in limited-over matches. The longer game makes it easier to score runs, once you work out the trick (ie. you have to stand way over on the leg or off-side to play scoring shots). If you're a cricket fan, it becomes an addictive experience.


Go listen already

If you're not a regular listener of the excellent Silent Running podcasts, why not? It's like a great radio talk show without the idiots. And it doesn't take long to download, even on my crappy dialup connection.

You don't need any special software to listen to it, just click, download and listen.


How to kill Val Prieto

He's been in a bad mood lately, so I hope no one shows him this nauseating puff-job on Venezuelan thug Hugo Chavez by Sydney Morning Herald idiot Andrew West:

Now Chavez is showing Americans how to govern with genuine fairness and justice.

I think I'm gonna hurl.

23 November 2005


Richard Neville says New Zealand is an enlightned, new-age, lefty feelgood utopia:

I never appreciated the metaphor of a frog placed in a saucepan of water and so gradually brought to the boil, that it expires unawares, until I flew to New Zealand. Landing at midnight, the change of atmosphere was palpable. Clearing customs a breeze; free tea and baggage trolleys, an absence of gun toting ninja's. I had come to deliver a keynote on the future of recreation, despite its lack in my current incarnation. According to the conference brochure, “recreation is at the heart of our identity, quality of life, health and wellbeing”. New Zealand is an appropriate setting for such an event, themed AT THE HEART, being a land that still has one.


This is a city without fear. In three days I never saw a cop, not even a security guard. The doors of corporate buildings were open wide, no identity tags, no patdowns. “Why are you all so bloody friendly?” I asked the Kiwi at the cappuccino bar. “Because we've still got what Australia once had.” Yep, what we had before we joined the Bush crusade. I felt like the frog fallen from saucepan into a pond. How simple it had been to ignore the rising heat back home. To loll in the Jacuzzi of forgetfulness, until the heart stopped. New Zealand resisted the call of the Devil's bugle, and has grown in moral stature. Australia, on the other hand, puffed up with self importance, still dances to the madman's jig as it sinks into the abyss.

Praise Jesus. One wonders why Kiwis are migrating to Australia at the rate of 30,000 per annum.


Not environmentally friendly

Your 6-wheel SUV too small for you? You need to tow the occasional mountain?

Well, have we got the engine for you.

Here's the specs on the 14 cylinder version...

The cylinder bore is just under 38" and the stroke is just over 98".  Each cylinder displaces 111,143 cubic inches (1820 liters) and produces 7780 horsepower.  Total displacement comes out to 1,556,002 cubic inches (25,480 liters) for the fourteen cylinder version.

Total engine weight: 2300 tons  (The crankshaft alone weighs 300 tons.)

89 feet

Height: 44 feet
Maximum power: 108,920 hp at 102 rpm 
Maximum torque: 5,608,312 lb/ft at 102rpm 

Awesome dude.....


A few days in Sydney

Had a long weekend in Old Syd. Some highlights:

- The annual motorcycle expo at Olympic Park. The eye-catcher was the gorgeous Ducati retro-styled Sport1000. It also draws attention to just how fugly the modern Ducati range really is.

- Getting yelled at on the train for no reason by a middle-aged, grossly obese midget woman who was wearing short-shorts and a fairy outfit. One of the most frightening sights I've seen in years.

- A brilliant beef vindaloo at the Tandoori Palace on Oxford St. Talk about agony and ecstasy. Christ it was hot.


Where to find Thom

If you want to read Crazy Thom in his original text, do the following:

- Go to the Google archive for aus.politics.guns.
- click "view titles only"
- click on any of the following threads: Thom Lyons - where are your "lawyers"? and Myths About Gun Control.
- click on "view as tree" so you can navigate to Thom's posts.

Go and experience the insanity.

Speaking of which, I'm checking up on Thom's Vietnam service claims. Watch this space.


18 November 2005

A request for the ladies reading this

If you've got new or gently used makeup, perfume, or personal care products lying around the house that you're not using, and would like information on how to send these to female coalition troops in Iraq, write to helena<at> Gents, pass this info on to your significant others if you think they'd be interested (and for Pete's sake, ask their permission before you clean out their dresser).


Brief Thom post

Still no word from the retarded green wussy about the legal action he'll be taking against me.In lieu of such developments, here's classic piece of Thom Nuttiness, where he explains the sinister origins of Dubya's family:

Of course we hate Bush because we hate evil. The Bush crime family
needs to be locked up to the man. They have been traitors since 1741
when they got here and were named Busche. By the way if you use GW's
real name Busche and count the number of letters in each of his 3
names you get 6-6-6.
He goes on to explain how the 'Busches' changed their evil German name to insinuate themselves into American society so they could be spies for the British during the revolutionary ar. Gotta love this guy. He's the web's biggest freak since Joe Vialls snuffed it. By the way, can anyone recommend an organisation to contact to check the validity of someone's claims of "front line service in Vietnam"? Not that I'm thinking of any specific person of course....

17 November 2005

Terror laws an anti-Aboriginal plot

So says self-appointed Aboriginal leader Michael Mansell. The arrests were all a ruse to help destroy Aboriginals.

Aboriginal protesters are likely to be targeted by the new anti-terror laws as a new way to discredit Aboriginal leaders. This is even clearer after the so-called “counter-terrorist” stage-managed media stunts in Melbourne and Sydney on November 7. The arrests were little more than an attempt to justify the rapid passing of “anti-terror” laws.

The specific reference to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders in section 23CA (4)(a) of the Criminal Code (Anti-Terrorism Act 2005) makes it clear that Indigenous peoples will be targeted by the new anti-terror laws. Otherwise, why refer to us at all?

Well, I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that there are already special laws applying to arresting Aboriginals.

The expansion of the definitions of “sedition” and “terrorist organisations” go as close as is realistically possible to outlawing thoughts of dissent.

One person's “terrorist” is another's freedom fighter. It will be more difficult for citizens to oppose US (and likewise Australian) foreign policy under these laws.

An Aboriginal leader accused under these laws could so easily be discredited as a consequence, even where their actions have legitimately been to promote the rights of their people. People's lives can be destroyed in more ways than with a gun.

The Howard-Ruddock-Beazley troika has become the thought police, and police are now expected to act against political views rather than criminal activity. In one fell swoop, the troika has changed the face of law enforcement in Australia forever.

Hey, whatever you say, white man. Personally, I think old Mikey might have other reasons to worry about anti-terror laws:

When Michael Mansell visited Libya in the late 1980s to seek aid for the Aboriginal Provisional Government from Colonel Gadaffi, the press treated him as a bit of a joke. But if Mansell had been an officer of a sovereign Aboriginal state, it would not have been quite so amusing.
Another Aboriginal spokesman of great integrity.


Where'd the green guy run off to?

Still no legal action from dickbrain. The man who promised to take my house, get me arrested for stalking, close down my website and shut down my e-mail accounts suddenly seems rather unenthusiastic about taking any action.

I offered to make it easy for him:

Thom, As you are very stupid, I'll make it easy for you: your lawyer doesn't
need to contact me, I'll contact HIM.

Please provide his/her details...
- full name
- law firm name & address
- phone number
- email As soon as these details are provided, I'll make contact with them and
provide them with my details. There Thommy. Put up or shut up. You've just run out of excuses.....

Thommy's response was what I expected:

your real name and address is where we start from.  This isn't your
ball game anymore.

Apparently the reason his (non-existent) lawyers are unable to e-mail me for my details, and why Thom doesn't want to me e-mail them, is as follows:

When I get his name and address the ball will roll.  Do you honestly
believe with the record this guy has that he will even respond to
anything sent to him by e-mail?  He'se an internet pest who loves to

Oh no, wait, this is the reason his lawyers can't e-mail me:

Since when is e-mail legal correspondence?

So, it's not "legal" for his lawyers to get my contact details by e-mail, but it's "legal" for Thom to do so. More of this man's powerful logic at work.

Others in the newsgroup have been watching Thom's desperate squirming with amusement, one asking him if he realised what an idiot he was making out of himself.

I couldn't care less.  He suckered me in and that was dumb, now I
won't answer him anymore and its probably driving him crazy.

So the guy who's taking legal action against me and demands that I post my personal details on a public newsgroup, has decided he'll proceed by not communicating with me at all.

Way to go Thommy, run and hide and hope your opponent beats himself into submission. What a fearsome adversary.

Thanks to Dan L. for the pic.
link last

One of the great things about getting a new PC is that I'm finally able to play some games which look better than Pong. Here's an omnibus review:

Doom 3: Despite the awesome looks & atmosphere this offers, the gameplay is difficult and annoying. Thankfully, the easily-installed "Falken flashlight" mod fixes all that. It operates on the whacky assumption that the Marines in the 23rd cetury will have found a way to attach a flashlight to a gun. Yeah, crazy I know. You can now see where you're going and are able to look at the thing you're shooting at. If you have Doom 3, I recommend installing this mod a.s.a.p. - it makes the game much, much better. The weapons are kinda lame though, lacking a certain 'crunchy' satisfation.

Unreal 2: I was a huge fan of the 1998 original. It still looks great today, with weird and wonderful worlds to explore, and brilliantly atmospheric music. The sequel is very different. Based on a series of missions, centreing around the recovery of some ancient alien artifacts. The level design is a welcome break from the tedious find-the-secret-switch formula. Many of the levels see you defend positions against waves of attackers alongside other marines and requires some strategic thought in placement of barriers, gun turrets, and your comrades. Engaging, challenging and fun. The 'forest rescue' sequence in particular is a superbly atmospheric experience. Oddly, the first and last levels of the game are very poor, but the rest makes up for it. The voice acting, however, is laughably bad. The game looks stunning, but you need some serious hardware to run it. Much better weapons than Doom 3.

FEAR: a great, and weird, hybrid of a first-person sci-fi shooter and a Japanese zombie movie. I have't got far into it yet, but the graphics engine and gameplay are wicked, and the weapons are great. I don't know what the hell most of it's about, but I guess I'll find out.

EA Cricket 2005: an astounding game, looks-wise, with atmospheric commentary from Richie Benaud and Jim Maxwell. The player movement and the entire look/feel of it is like watching a Channel 9 telecast, it's that good. Gameplay-wise, it's horrendously difficult. My first team score was three runs. The batting technique is complicated to the point of being unuseable. The bowling side of it is fun though, with a much more manageable interface. The commentary has some horrible bugs and the menu interface is dreadful. This could have been so much better, but it's simply too difficult to be satisfying.

MotoGP 3: an essential purchase if you like motorbike racing, or are a motorsport games junkie. It's difficult to master, but the brilliant graphics engine, authentic track layouts and street-racing options make it an absolute hoot. Great stuff. A joystick is necessary though: don't try using a mouse with this unless you want to crash approximately 47 times per lap.

I also have SimCity 4, Pharaoh, Law & Order: Justice is Served, and Rugby 2005, but haven't had much of a chance to play them yet. I'll get back to ya.

13 November 2005

Helena Handbasket's Quote of The Day

[Men] ...are easily induced to believe that some wonderful love of everybody, for everybody, will result - especially when someone denounces the evils which now exist as a consequence of the fact that property is not owned in common, for example lawsuits for breach of contract, trials for perjury and flattery of the rich. But none of these evils are due to the absence of communism. They are due to wickedness, since we see those who jointly own or posses things quarelling a great deal more than those whose property is seperate... justice requires that we state not only any evils from which those under communism will be free, but also those benefits of which they will be deprived; and when this is done life under such a system is seen to be utterly impossible.

- Aristotle, as quoted by Roger Sandall in The Culture Cult: Designer Tribalism and other essays, displaying a hell of a lot more knowledge about communism than Thom Lyons.


More Thom Fun

One of the more amusing elements of Thom's, er, eccentric personality that I've not talked about yet is the fact that he's a gun nut.

No, really.

Thom does a lot of pro-gun rants on USENET. I'd normally say 'good for him', except Thom being Thom, he sees no contradiction whatsoever between being a gun nut and being a candidate for The Greens, whose policies clearly advocate a total ban on guns.

Here are some Greens policy statements on firearms:
"Advocate greater control of the ownership and use of guns, with the ultimate aim of disarming the community.
2.66 strengthen initiatives, including legislation, to maintain and extend gun control at the federal level

2.67 include laws which phase out the keeping of guns in urban homes while ensuring that community security measures are adequate for household safety.

http://www.vic. greens
"We are calling for the complete ban of semi-automatic hand guns "

http://www.vic. greens
"increase controls over gun use and ownership, in order to disarm the community."

When these policies were pointed out to Thommy, he wasn't happy, responding thus:

more right wing lies.

I pointed out these policies came from the Greens national & state websites.

Me: Are the Greens lying about their own policies?
Thom: no you are.  Thats the State website.  Plus whats that got to do with me?

Might have something to do with being a state candidate, fucknuts. When I told Thommy this, he responded with this bewildering non-sequitur:

and that has to do with national police how?  Boiy I love seeing you squirm.  By the way where do you shoot?  bet you don't and your all mouth.


Oh, and get this: Thom tries to make the case that the Greens are a bunch of tough, gun-totin' hunters:

The current Greens started out as shooters and hunters and we called
ourselves "Conservationists" then.  The environmental movement started
from there but in the last 10 years most of the world Green parties
have been infiltrated by elements of radicals (ranging from feminists
to pacifists) who are looking for a voice.  I am not one of them nor
is the major of members.

Mwahahaha. Shooters and hunters.

Oh dear, oh dear.

Give me one instance where a GREEN stole someones gun?  The right wing , your lot, inflicts 95% of the gun control in this world.  In Viet Nam and Cuba gun training for all is manditory.

After I finished choking on laughter, I asked Thommy a question:

Me: Now, when are you going to sue me, you windbag?

Thom: Oh no that would be too easy.  Shaming you and getting your lieing
blog banned from Australia is much more fun. now mud beatle your name
and address please, or do you still live with mommy and hide behind
her skirts?

Then Mr. Lyons implied he'd never even mentioned taking legal action:

Why would I pay a lawyer to do man's job.  They are
the freaks that wear the womans wigs and dresses to work.

Finally, Thom offers an explanation for his embarrasing election results:

I lost because I didn't have enough money

Heh. Sure thing Thommy. You've got problems much worse than inadequate funding.....

10 November 2005

In the mouth of madness

I've been setting up my new PC & associated bits n' pieces for the last few nights, hence the lack of Thom updates. Let me fix that right now.....

I've been monitoring The Green Headcase for the last few days, and it's becoming ever more clear what a frothing, psychotic nutball he really is.

Conversations with Thom consist of five stages, all of which can run concurrently:

1- A complete inability to follow - or even understand - the subject at hand.

2- Similarly, Thom's utterances are for a large part a sequence of non-sequiturs.

3- An amazing inability to keep track of his own lies.

4- Lots of empty threats, which he quickly forgets about once his bluff is called.

5- Thom will repeat the same question, over and over, no matter how many times you answer it. He'll also repeat the same disproven factoids ad infinitum.

OK, so let's catch up with Thom's recent mutterings...

First of all, remember Thom's threats that his lawyers would take my house and close down my website? I asked him why I hadn't heard from these scary fellows.

At first, Thom stalled by saying they "didn't know" who the website host was. After supplying him with the name & contact details for my webhost on three occasions, Thom responded:

since your a liar we don't believe you.

I guess looking at the webpage with their contact details was a little difficult for him and his lawyers. I had to send him the contact details & URL again.

Thom moved on to a new stalling tactic: I had to post my full name & address on the public forum, so his lawyers could "serve" me. No said I, but I would happily supply it to his "lawyers" if they e-mailed me. A simple request, but one which made Thom scream about my "cowardice":

E-mail is not legally binding dung for brains and you know it.  Your
hiding behind the net, your a coward.

I pointed out to our mentally-deficient Green friend that merely requesting someone's contact details didn't require a "legally binding" document.

After days and days of repeating this offer, Thom suddenly changed his tune:

Why would the American end of things want to deal with you here?  Thats my job, they are just looking at removing your lieing blog.  Send me your address liar.

Heh. So, Thom has magical lawyers who will have no contact whatsoever with the person they are taking action against, but instead will operate through Thom. That part makes the whole thing sound really believable to me.

I concluded that the reason Thom wants my street address is for his Australian-based lawyers, right? Turns out, Poor Thom admitted he doesn't have any Australian-based lawyers:

Me: But you don't *have* a lawyer do you?
Thom: Not in Australia YET

Snerk. Some great legal might Thom is going to hammer me with: first, a non-existent Australian lawyer, and second, an American law firm who cannot be found in any American telephone directory or Bar Association lists, who apparently need to conduct all their court action through their client, and who have been unable to contact my web hosts despite having access to their phone number, address and e-mail.

Hmmm. I'm guessing I'm not about to lose my house any time soon.

Having dispensed with Thom's lame legal threats, how about his promises to close down my Gmail account?

He'se hiding behind GMAIL for
starters and violating their policies left and right so he won't be
with them for much longer.


GMAIL says they are reviewing everything you have sent.  Its up to
them now.  By the way GMAIL keeps EVERYTHING .

I informed poor Thommy a few days later that my account was still active, and reminded of his promise to have it closed. He responded:

Yup, see unlike you who has no life other than to be an internet
asshole I have a life and things to do.  Post your address you lieing

I'm guessing the "things to do" includes sending dozens of incoherent rants to USENET forums.

I was curious though: if his American 'lawyers' didn't want my address, and he doesn't even have an Australian lawyer, why exactly did he need my street address? Seems he wants a little man-on-man action:

Me: There's a very easy way foryou to discover my address: have your lawyer e-mail me and I'll send it to him. That way, he can send me your registered letter.

Thom: I have an easier one, post it NOW!  Why go through expensive lawyers
when we can settle it man to man or whatever it is in your case.

So, Thom doesn't want lawyers involved after all, he wants to settle it "man to man", whatever that means. I suspect there's an implied threat in there.

Well, now that Thom's badass lawyers have been flushed down the proverbial toilet, and my gmail account is no longer a concern of his, what about his "friend" in the "Federal Police"? You remember, this one:

I also had a talk with a friend in the Federal Police who informed me that based on what I showed him the guy is a stalking under Australian law.

I mentioned that I know quite a few people in the Federal Police, and asked for more details. Thom didn't respond to my questions...

...until days later when I mentioned it again, and got a very different story:

What police friend is that.  Making things up again or too stoned to
understand whats being said.

If you're going to lie, at least make an effort to remember the shit you made up.

No word from Thom's mystery photographer friend either. The one who Thom claimed wanted "$5000 immediately"....a figure which a few days later had turned into a mere "$175". Surprisingly (not really), Thom could not provide a name or contact details for this person.

So here we are, a week later. How have Thom's scary threats worked out?

- Website not closed down, as threatened.
- Gmail account not closed down, as threatened.
- Thom's American "law firm" cannot be found in any telephone or legal directory, and apparently are incapable of using e-mail, telephones and the Internet.
- Thom admitted he has no Australian lawyer.
- No legal action of any kind undertaken against me.
- Thom can't seem to remember if he has a special police "friend" who's going to arrest me.
- No further details on the mystery "communication tribunal" who were going to punish me. A request to Thom for their contact details met with no response.
- Thom wants my full name and street address, even though he admitted having no lawyer, because he wants to settle things "man to man".

Hmmmm, an implied threat of physical violence, along with demands for payment to a 'friend' Thom can't identify. Looks a little like criminal conduct doesn't it?

Personally, I'm really really hoping Thom decides to run for office again.....

7 November 2005

Idiot Quest: The Wrath of Thom

Unable to explain away the non-existence of his lawyers, his police 'friend', his photographer 'friend' and the scary 'tribunal', and similarly unable to explain why my blog and gmail accounts have not been closed down as promised, Thom is still trying to sound as menacing as possible:

Its called the law dung heap. In the states you can't mouth off with a bunch of lies like you do. I'm told its called Calomny and detraction. We know where the server is but not the owners yet. Do you serious think they will defend you when they see what you posted? In the US you can be broken by legal defence costs and they know it.

Lionel Hutz Esq.
(attorney for Thom Lyons)

He doesn't know who the server owners are, despite the fact I've told him the name of the company, their address and their contact details. Simple things seem a little beyond Thom's grasp. Hosting Matters management must be quaking in terror.

Here's his response to my request for further details about his mystery 'tribunal':

Give us your address coward and find out. Your all mouth TEX, a typical internet phony whose life is so empty you get your jollies slandering other people to make yourself feel good. You calld me a commie and I'm not, I'm a free market socialist but your too dumb to know the difference probably.

Oh, and he threw in another rant on the wonders of the Castro regime:

give us the locations of the communes in Cuba butthead, put up or shut up. You know nothing about Cuba or Viet Nam. Cuba is socialist and a better place for it consider the hell the Cubans lived in under Batista. Its not perfect but has a higher standard of living than any of the islands that surround it. All capitalist of course.

Heh. It's a wonder poor Thom is able to dress himself in the morning.

Something tells me I won't be seeing any e-mails from Thom's lawyers in my inbox tomorrow either.


Helena Handbasket asks six questions about Australian politics:

1- When will the Labor Party institute mandatory psychiatric evaluations for its members?

2- What does the Australian Senate actually, you know, do?

3- What is up Jon Stanhope's butt? (note: this is a hypothetical question, I don't want anybody to actually go and look)

4- Why do parliamentary elections use a vote-counting system that makes the American electoral college look simple by comparison?

5- Has anyone noticed the irony of a country that completely nationalises its healthcare system, yet continually bitches about "how expensive" medical treatment is?

6- What the hell kind of name is "Gough"?

Send answers to helena<at>whackingday<dot>com.

6 November 2005

Thom update

Still no word from Thom's mystery lawyers.

There's no sign of them on the New Mexico Bar Association's list either. Not that he's actually explained why he's 'hired' an American firm to deal with a case where both persons are in Australia, but logical explanation and Greens tend not to go together.

No word from his Federal Police "friend", or from his photographer "friend".

He hasn't provided any more details about the "tribunal" he refered to either.

A thought just occurred to me: Thom couldn't have (gasp!) made all this up, could he?

C'mon Thom, you slimy fucker, why aren't you suing me? I demand to be sued! I have a right to be sued!



Bought a new PC today, which means I'll actually be able to play some proper games on it. My current machine is a creaky old Compaq.

And I'm finally going to get broadband as well. Bloody dial-up shits me to tears.

So, any advice on what's the quickest, most hassle-free way to transfer files from one PC to the other?

4 November 2005

The Thom Files

Following on from yesterday's post, Thom continues to rage at me, and demand I post my personal details on a public forum:

Lets have your address TEX. By the way are you
named text becauyse you have a one pint brain in a 10 gallon hat?


Lets have your address TEX. Can you ever spell my name right you dung
heap? Speaking of lieing... well we don't have to we just read your
libalist blog.


fuckwit give us your home address where you can be served or at
minimum "help the police with their inquiries". (I love that old
phrase, its such BS! :-) )

As for Thom's phantom law firm of "O'Lynne, Lyons and Fitzpatrick", Thom now says he meant Golden, New Mexico, not Golden, Colorado:

I also said I lived in Los Alamos NM too brain dead. Golden NM is
just oitside of Albuquerque.

Not surprisingly, there is no sign of Thom's mystery law firm in the phone directories for either New Mexico or Colorado.

And, despite my requests to Thom, they haven't e-mailed me either. Still, Thom is very confident in his non-existent dream team:

The proceedure is that one contacts the blog and askes the offending
material and stolen photograph be removed. If they or you refuse then
and then only can one seek relief in a tribunal or court. But whats
this? Since your a coward you posted it overseas didn't you. That
complicates things abit but not much. if the blog refuses then we go
after the blog and have it removed totally.


they will go after the blog, I'll do my part here. Care to meet me before the communications tribunal?


So your a coward I see, Afraid I actually will talk to your local
police chief? Or are you in an institution or something.

What 'communications tribunal'? Thom says they are at "55 King St. Melbourne".

Problem is, 55 King St Melbourne is the address for the Victorian Department of Justice, which doesn't have a "communications tribunal".

So, we have Thom threatening me with non-existent lawyers, non-existent police 'friends', non-existent tribunals and a photographer friend who doesn't seem able to send me an e-mail. I asked him what 'libel' these scary non-existent powers were going to punish me for:

calling me a commie dusch bag.

A female hygiene device for Germans?

Other than his mighty spelling prowess, Thom also displays a great knowledge of how the internet works:

are you telling us you actually paid for a blog!

I informed Thom as to the existence of something called "hosting fees". Thom thinks I said 'posting' fees:

Posting fees are for idiots who buy into that scam. And I was "On the web" before there was an internet". [...] You are the last person on the planet to lecture anyone about the net.

He went on to treat me to another long, psychotically nutty non-sequitur rant, this time about how Saddam was freely and fairly elected. No really:

What a flaming moron you are? Have you even even been to a town over 60 people? I hate wasting my time educating you but here goes. Iraq and all the countries around it used the Arab system of voting. Their society is made up of a step system... clans, families etc. A family votes on a subject and then goes to the clan level where the family votes. The clan then votes in the next step up in tribal confederations with each tribe acting as a sort of mobile mini-state. In the absence of a strong central authority, the tribal framework fulfilled the primary functions of conflict and resource management. The most important tribal confederations in Iraq included: the Muntafiq, Anaza, Dulaim, Shammar, Zubayd, Ubayd, Bani Lam and Al-bu Muhammed.

This is traditional arab voting and is much like the American electoral college system. This is how the likes of Saddam came to power and stayed in power. He secured the support of certain powerful clans ( The Dulaym, Jubbur, Ukaydat, Mulla, Sa'idat, and Shammar) and then over threw the government the Brits left in 1968.


Saddam is from the Tikrity Clan and the Al-bu Nasir tribe. It was one of the first Iraqi clans to embrace the Pan Arab Ba'ath which Hitler started in Syria to destabilize the British in WW2. This is where the term "Ba'ath Socialist Party" comes from as in National Socialism. Neither of course had anything to do with socialism.

When the Brits left they left in place a nationalized oil company which Saddam privatized. The Bush Oil interests tried to move in and grab a chunk of it but Saddam threw them out of the country. Saddam needed the stock in these new private company (stolen from the Iraqi people) to divide among the clans that supported him. The clans used the oil proceeds for the clan welfare system. This is part of the reasons for the partisan activity in Iraq right now but Bush and Howard are too stupid to understand why. Bush totally undermined the traditional clan, tribe and family systems in Iraq. He not only diverted all the oil money that was going to the supporting clans for clan welfare he knocked out most of the infrastructure making life even worse. The Sunni clans of the north west aren't taking this with a smile.


Now any more uninformed remarks about voting in Iraq from you? I'm sorry of you don't like the way Arab culture structures its democratic systems but we have no right to go in and change it to something we like. Bush didn't bring democracy to Iraq, he just imposed a system that is easier to manipulate or to corrupt.

Got that kiddies? Welcome to Thom Politics 101, where Saddam and Castro are freely-elected democrats, where no plane hit the Pentagon on 9/11, where supply and demand have no effect on prices, where Cuban dissidents are Buddhist CIA agents, where Che Guevara 'never existed' and where George Bush's grandfather was responsible for the rise of the Nazi party.

Oh, one last thing, because Thom is so upset at my using his photo, I have chosen an appropriate avatar:

Fat, green and from another planet.

3 November 2005

The return of Thom Lyons, and he's brought his lawyers!

Yes, the Greens party candidate and certified nutcase hath returned!

During a discussion on a usenet guns forum, someone gave Thom the links to my posts about him.

Thom was not happy, and started issuing big scary legal threats:

Thanks for letting know about this. My lawyer says I'll own the guys house when we're done with him.

Unfortunately, he kinda undermined his case for libel with the following sentence:

Thats aside from the fact is a flaming nazi fuckwit who thinks right wing dictators are OK (no matter how many people they kill) but leftists are not.

Oops. Still, he has hopes for financial retribution over 'unauthorized' use of his photo:

Oh by the way, the photograph used is copyrighted and the photographer
wants $5000 immediately. I told him that these guys are right wing
fools and don't believe in obeying the law.

Oddly, Thom cannot provide details of who the photographer is, and no-one has e-mailed me demanding payment.

The posts continued, with promises to suspend my e-mail account:

He'se hiding behind GMAIL for starters and violating their policies left and right so he won't be with them for much longer.

Old Thom can't tell the difference between a blog and an e-mail account.

But, back to the waffle:

Next is the issue of him and the blog refusing to remove the lies and illegally obtained photograph and then and only then can he and the blog be taken to the tribunal but of course he'se hidden behind a US based blog too. He'se such a coward.

I dare him to post his address here so he can be served. Plus I also had a talk with a friend in the Federal Police who informed me that based on what I showed him the guy is a stalking under Australian law.

Thom thinks posting to a public newsgroup and my own webpages is 'stalking'. Heh. Lots of threats from Thommy, very little action.

things like this take awhile. But the goods guys always win in the end... well their lawyers do at least.

Hmmm. I queried him on his fearsome legal team. He said they're in his 'home town'. Thing is, his home town is Golden, Colorado.

Thom the genius has apparently engaged American lawyers to sue an Australian. Heh. Mind you, Thom is the guy who confused the Liberal Democratic Party with the Democratic Labor Party (even after being corrected on it), and thought I lived in Texas after telling him I lived in Canberra.

Oh, I forgot to mention, Thom often makes a big point of his combat service in Vietnam:

By the way I'm not a communist. Unlike the coward poster and Bush I
fought the commies in Nam.

How exactly did he 'fight the commies'? He was an Air Force photographer.

I think poor Thom is a few cans short of a six-pack. Just check out this non-sequitur rant in response to my invitation that his lawyers to e-mail me:

Better go run and hide the commies are out to get you. By the way I
see your gun grabbing hero Bush still hasn't the balls to invade Cuba.
Whats a matta, still licking your wounds from the last time Castro
kicked your ass? And the hurricans? Seems like Castro got it right
and your hero couldn't organize a chuck raffel. How many dead in
Cuba? ONE! How many in LA and MISS???

Amnd since were talking about the commies I see you didn't have the
guts to go fight them like I did. Whats the matter pussy, afraid
you'll get a bobo. Afraid some NCO might yell at you and make you cry
in basic?

By the way, only morons have blogs. It shows a severe feeling of
inadiquacy and self respect.

Oh by the way, I notice the host for your slanderous blog hasn't the
balls to put an e-mail address up for complaints. Is he as big a
chicken as you are?

I guess he didn't look too hard.

Come on Thom, sue me. I'm waiting, you pole-smoking cumstain.


Happy anniversary!

The joyful Stalinists over at the Communist Party of Australia are celebrating a momentous anniversary:

It is 88 years next Monday since the workers and peasants of Russia, sick of war, hunger, suffering and privation, seized the government of the country and demanded peace, bread and land.

It was a revolution, and because it took place in October under the old Orthodox calendar used in Russia at the time, it is known to history as the Great October Socialist Revolution.

And they did so many wonderful things:

Despite mistakes and setbacks, despite sabotage and imperialist blockade, the world's first socialist state successfully involved the working people in building a new type of society, a society they recognised as their own.

When imperialism enlisted fascism as the means of destroying this new society, the people rallied to the defence of Soviet Russia. The Russian people made colossal sacrifices to win a titanic struggle against Nazi Germany. In the process, they saved the rest of the world as well and proved the superiority of the socialist system, for a capitalist Russia could never have done it.

Sadly, all the fun was destroyed by the democracy-seeking capitalist pigs!

The subsequent betrayal of socialism in the USSR by Gorbachev and others who succumbed to the honeyed words of deceitful capitalism does not diminish the achievements of the socialist countries of Eastern Europe.

The destruction of a society that cared for all its members, that provided universal free health care, that guaranteed housing, education and employment to all its citizens, had a catastrophic effect.


The socialist countries, all of which were in fact the product of the October Revolution, kept the aggression of imperialism in check in the decades after WW2. Only after the overthrow of socialism in the USSR and Eastern Europe, did the USA and other imperialist powers feel free to unleash wars at will with devastating effects on the people of many countries.

Today, when capitalist governments are once again introducing draconian laws attacking democratic rights and endeavouring to crush the trade unions with laws that echo the laws and policies of the Nazis and other fascists of the 1930s, the question of what sort of society do we want is once again on the agenda.

The working class must rally all the democratic forces of society to the defence of our democratic rights — including trade union rights — while making people aware that a better world unquestionably is possible: that was demonstrated once and for all by the Great October Socialist Revolution of November 7, 1917.

Yes, these people want The Soviet Union back. Coz, y'know, they were so good at protecting 'democratic rights'.

In honour of this wonderful occassion, here's some pictures of dead commies:

Che Guevara, starring in a special posthumous performance of "I, Worm Food" Nikki Ceausescu, after the Romanians decided that 'people's revolution' meant 'Kill commie bastards'

There are few sights in the world as wonderful as that of a freshly-whacked communist.

31 October 2005

Something to wrap your fish n' chips with

That's The Latham Diaries for ya. It is one of the dullest reads since Bill Wyman published his lists of paychecks and sexual conquests in Stone Alone, and at least he had some interesting people to talk about. Christ, it was boring.

This utterly interminable load of shite drags on for 419 bloody pages. That fat crybaby, paranoid weasel moans about everything: the stupidity of everyone but himself, endless 'they're out to get me" conspiracies, American are idiots, military personnel are murderous meatheads, voters are selfish bastards, why-won't-anyone-listen-to-me, I really won the campaign, and on and on and on it bloody goes.

You ever gone to a party or a dinner where you've been seated next to the most boring person in the room for hours on end? That's what this book is like, only much, much worse.

Latham is self-absorbed to the point of solipsism. I haven't seen much a monument of self-pity and elevated self-worth in my entire life. Unsurprisingly, Latham sees his election loss as the fault of everyone else. The conspiratorial party machine, a biased media, bad campaign managers, a stupid ungrateful public. Nothing of his own public displays of psychosis, his monumental misreading of the public mood, his cretinous campaign decisions.

Boy, are we lucky we didn't elect this psychotic fartknocker as PM. The man may be the biggest loser I've ever seen in my life.

Good riddance you worthless cunt, you won't be missed.

(PS. I borrowed the book from the library, so the Werriwa Retard won't be getting a cent from me)


Why The Simpsons still rules the roost, and why Family Guy and Futurama don't

It's true what the critics say: The Simpsons is a ghost of its former self. Too many lame celebrity cameos, too much self-referential smart-arsey humour, increasingly silly storylines.

But it's still the best animated show ever. Why?

- loveable main characters.
- tons of brilliant and funny supporting characters.
- a great 'alternative universe' to sink into.

There's always something to latch onto, something to love in even the weakest Simpsons episodes.

The same can't be said of Family Guy or Futurama. At their best, they're as funny, and sometimes funnier than Homer & Co. But there's simply too many dud episodes, and - biggest problem of all - too much time spent on characters who aren't even remotely funny.

Family Guy is saddled with the problem that the main character - Peter - is an annoying, obnoxious, moron who the writers seem to give screen time to when they can't figure out what else to do. Peter does exactly three things on the show:

- chuckle like a little girl, over and over and bloody over
- act like an abusive asshole (all the time)
- feature in an endless fucking sequence of excruciatingly laboured 'flashbacks' and time-fillers (did anyone on earth find the three-minute chicken-fight funny?)

What's truly baffling is that the writing for Brian and Stewie is consistently brilliant, and that Lois and Meg are such likeable characters. It's as if someone else throws in the Peter Griffin scenes in post-production. DVDs are definitely the way to watch Family Guy: that way, I can fast forward through all of Peter's scenes.

Futurama had a similar problem: Bender. Four seasons without a single laugh. Not one. But hey, it was set in the future, so they had to have a robot, right? Bender has less range even than Peter Griffin. He just stood around and shouted "bite my shiny metal ass!" a lot, and was the central character in a truly depressing amount of episodes.

A pity, because pretty much everything else about the show rocked. I can honestly say I laughed harder during some Futurama episodes than I've ever laughed at anything in my whole life. When it was good, it was truly brilliant.

So why waste so many episodes on such a boring, unfunny character?

The Simpsons, for all its current flaws, has never had to drag around so much dead weight.


Oooh baby!

This is the Sachs MadAss 125.

It's an automatic 125cc road-registerable motorcycle with a wicked little 2-stroke motor.

Basically, we have here a motorized BMX and hot little wheelie machine. Damn, I want one bad.


Pol Pot's bum-boy speaks up

Noam Chomsky praises erroneous journalism when it's politically correct.

When even the Guardian rates a lefty intellectual as a paranoid, hypersensitive nut, you know you've got a crank on your hands.....


Steyn on the Death of Russia

A great read. And very alarming.

30 October 2005

Another one for the wish list

The Triumph Daytona 955i: a performance bike for the real world.

I'll say it again: the Triumph triple is the best motorcycle engine on the planet. The torque of a twin and the power of a four. Beautiful, linear power delivery. Makes an awesome noise too.

The Daytona has softer suspension than the Japanese superbikes, but this is only a problem if you're doing track days. As a road bike, it's spot-on. Much comfier than the Jap competition to boot.

It's also cheaper than the competition, and there's a ton of top-notch Triumph factory accessories available for it.

Personallly, I'd whack a new set of springs in it, fit the Triumph gel seat, and a Staintune muffler, and set off on a three day road trip.'s hoping they do some run-out deals on this model early next year. Hell, I might even opt for this bike ahead of my beloved VTR1000.


Prince Chuckie loses what's left of his mind

Good old Charlie is gonna become a PR agent for Islam:

The Prince of Wales will try to persuade George W Bush and Americans of the merits of Islam this week because he thinks the United States has been too intolerant of the religion since September 11.

The Prince, who leaves on Tuesday for an eight-day tour of the US, has voiced private concerns over America's "confrontational" approach to Muslim countries and its failure to appreciate Islam's strengths.

And this tit is going to be the King one day. Oh joy.


An Ode to Peanut Butter

William F. Buckley's marvellous 1981 essay on one of the world's great foodstuffs still rings true today:

I have never composed poetry, but if I did, my very first couplet would be:

I know that I shall never see
A poem lovely as Skippy's peanut butter.

When I was first married and made plain to my wife that I expected peanut butter for breakfast every day of my life, including Ash Wednesday, she thought me quite mad (for the wrong reasons).


I introduced Auberon Waugh to cashew butter ten years ago when he first visited America, and although I think it inferior to peanut butter Auberon was quite simply overwhelmed. You can't find it in Great Britain so I sent him a case from the Farmer's Market. It quite changed his writing style: for about ten months he was at peace with the world. I think that was the time he said something pleasant about Harold Wilson. In the eleventh month, it was easy to tell that he had run out. It quite changes your disposition and your view of the world if you cannot have peanut butter every day.

Read it all.


Lefty weasel attacks!!

The Daily Mirror uberwimp Brian Reade is in typical form:

I'd love to see that asked in an international court of law today, with Bush, Blair and Saddam manacled together like the cowering Nuremberg criminals of 60 years ago.

Poor fellow never has gotten over the collapse of the USSR.



The best Chinese restaurant on earth closed today.


24 October 2005

Get a load of this

As part of their weekly newsletter, the Australian Communist Party happily reprints this mind-boggling self-praise from the North Korean regime:

The foundation of the WPK was a historic event that effected a radical change in shaping the destiny of the Korean people. All the victories, successes and wonderful realities of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea are related with the founding day.

The 60-year-long history of the WPK is the history of opening up the unique way of building a revolutionary Party in the era of independence under the banner of the Juche Idea, the great history of setting a global example of socialist construction through the most arduous struggle and creating a heroic epic of anti-imperialist struggle, and the glorious history of laying the eternal foundations of socialism.


In the 1990s Korea found itself in the most serious adversity because of the frantic politico-military pressure and economic sanctions by the US-led imperialist allies as well as natural calamities.

Under the wise leadership of the WPK, however, it surmounted the difficulties, held high the slogan of building a great, powerful and prosperous nation and could demonstrate its national power by launching an artificial earth satellite into orbit and declaring its nuclear possession.


The glorious history of the WPK is brilliantly carried forward by Kim Jong Il, General Secretary of the WPK and the prominent successor to the President.

Glory to the WPK which leads the cause of the independence of the people and the cause of socialism to shining victory!



Tales from the crack pipe

The Green Left Weekly brings you some rather incomprehensible poetry from our next poet laureate "Mohsen":

Freedom’s Champion — for you who live in hope

Innocents skip hand in hand in pleasure’s garden,
seeking out love’s bloom and pulling the weeds
of jealousy from the field of hope.
But wait, my thigh is bleeding, I am wounded,
struck down by the vicious rumour of pain.
My life force drains away. There is no cure
I was your shield forged in love and dreams
I ran toward a bullet of persecution
aimed directly at my heart
I am your fearless hero
You are my final
breath ...

'pulling the weeds of jealousy'. Heh..

But there's more!....

Coffin — for you who dream the nightmare

There is a coffin on my shoulder,
Where is the graveyard?
Show me the way to the graveyard,
I have to carry this coffin,
I have to bury this coffin,
I must dig deeply in the soil with the fingertips of sentiment,
I must reach this depth with all my emotions,
Your memories are also in the coffin,
I want to bury it,
I have dug the soil,
I have found the depth of the hole in my memory,
I put the coffin in the hole,
I pour tons of soil on the coffin,
The coffin is resting quietly under the ground,
Pity on me,
I don’t know why I am so impatient,
What should I do with my heart?
I was able to bury the coffin of your memories in the grave,
But the ghost of your memory chains all my body,
What to do?
The only way is to kill your memories;
kill my thoughts,
Your dot in my heart must be erased,
How can I do it?
Because it is not a dot,
all my heart belongs to you.

<chortle>. I think this shit is used as a torture method in Turkish prisons.

But wait, there's another!....

My Nights — for you who are fearful

I can’t breathe tonight,
I haven’t any power that can help me tonight,
my legs are shivering,
my breath is panting,
my tears run away,
my heart is broken,
the road is narrow tonight in the land of my eyes,
mountains crumble in front of my sadness,
Rain feels shame in front of my tears.
Tonight is any night.
But I haven’t any feet or legs to run away from night,
night is mourning with black colours,
Night wears the shame in front of the sadness in my heart.
Oh, tonight is a night the same as all my nights.
Every creature is born in fear
But how can I live if I’m afraid of living
Love is a drop of fresh rain
But how can I love if drought won’t break
Oh, tonight is a night the same as all my nights.

Bwehehehe: "Night wears the shame in front of the sadness in my heart".

Sweet Jesus. Imagine getting trapped in an elevator with this cock-knocker.


Audio terror

Go listen to Silent Running's latest podcast.


Speading scurrilous rumours about Ozbloggers

Scott Wickstein is actually English.

Tony Taylor takes it up the bum.

Tim Blair drives a Daewoo Matiz.

Paul Bickford drinks Subzero.

Professor Bunyip works as a fluffer for Bob Brown.

Yobbo masturbates to pictures of Vesna.


The 2005 Snowy Ride

I've signed up for this year's ride.

$50 to enter, which goes to a fantastic cause and puts you in the running for $20,000 of your pick of Honda motorcycle range.

You also get to ride on Australia's best motorcycling roads with 2000+ other riders. It's quite something.

If you're a rider and wanna tag along with me, e-mail me at tex <at>

22 October 2005

I have returned to you, my children

I'm back from my holiday to Phillip Island and Melbourne. Some brief notes:

Riding 743kms from Canberra to Phillip Island when you have a staph infection in your leg is kinda painful.

The weather at the MotoGP race was great: warm sun, cool breeze. Bitchen.

Valentino Rossi won again. Yawn. I was cheering for Nicky Hayden.

The hordes of Valentino Rossi fans were as moronic and annoying as they usually are.

One of the Suzuki promo girls in the AMCN Expo tent was 'Melanie' from Big Brother.

Sat at the 'Bass Strait' stand for the first time. A great viewing spot, maybe even as good as 'Siberia'.

Melbourne drivers are the worst in Australia. And can someone please explain the logic behind those ridiculous 'hook turns'?

Stayed at Tom Paine's apartment in Melbourne. Could hardly move for all the 6ft tall blonde Jewish women in there.

Quiznos makes the best damned sandwiches on the planet. Frickin' awesome. Subway subs by comparison taste like condom wrappers.


Why soccer sucks

Other than being boring as batshit, having humourless dickheads as fans, and all those wonderful riots, the reason I hate soccer is because it causes millions of brain-dead morons around the globe to worship fuckwits like this:

Diego Maradona: drug addict, serial cheat, supporter of communist tyrants, prancing crybaby weasel and all-round complete retard.

But hey, he could kick an inflated sphere around, so that makes him, um, 'special' or something....


Site problems?

Some people have reported problems viewing the graphic files on this webpage.

Can any web experts out there suggest what the problem may be?

Looking for older whackings?

Wanna see my previous rants against lefty, commie, peacenick wankers, plus lots of fun stuff about motorcycles, music and movies?................ Click here for the full past whackings index


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