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Live Whacking Archive 12 January 2006 Steve Edwards isn't happy with our over-taxing, over-spending federal treasurer. Go and read. It's time this smug, born-to-rule prick gave us some fucking tax cuts, and cut massive chunks out of our dreadful, bloated tax code. You know you've got a dickhead as a treasurer when even the agrarian bludgers in the National Party start demanding lower taxes. Christ, if that isn't a reason for suicide I don't know what is.
The grass is just as dumb on the other side The left has never had a monopoly on idiocy. Proof of this is the always amusing Worldnetdaily website. Essentially a bunch of far-right Jesus freaks, along with some more traditional uber-rightist crackpots like Ann Coulter. Worldnetdaily has four obsessions which it posts about every single day: - there is a massive homosexual plot to rape children, spread AIDS and destroy America. But the most entertaining part about these freaks is their ever-changing banner headine. The one from yesterday read as follows:
I'm guessing one of them is Elvis.
I never make New Years Resolutions, but I did this year: I'm going to lose twenty-five kilograms minimum before Christmas 2006. I'm planning on riding a (non-motorised) bike to work every single day, no exceptions. So I've been looking at buying a mountain bike, but I remembered reading about recumbent trikes, and decided to try one out. Yesterday, I took a Greenspeed GT3 for a brief 13km ride around Lake Burley Griffin.
Man, it was one strange experience. Comparing a recumbent trike to a bicycle is an 'apples & oranges' comparison if there ever was one. A more apt comparison would be to a go-cart. The main advantage of a recumbent trike is comfort: you're sitting on a mesh/elastic lounge chair (which doubles as the trike's only means of shock absorption), leaning back at a 40 degree angle, with your feet clipped into the pedals right in front of you. The handlebars are on either side of your hips. When you first get on the thing (which in itself is a tricky exercise), it's one of the strangest feelings imaginable. Being so low to the ground takes some getting used to, and other riders and pedestrians seem to tower over you. My trike was identical to the one in the picture, plus a set of front mudguards, a second mirror, a small bicycle computer and a bottle-holder on the front tube. Oh, and a dorky orange safety flag at the back so you can be seen by cars when you go on the road. The mirrors are truly useless and an awful design: the stems slope inwards, leaving you with a great view of your arms and not much else. They also hit you in the quads while you pedal. It wasn't really an ideal trike for my size and weight. The GT3 is the entry-level model in the Greenspeed range and is "one size fits most". The handlebars had to be adjusted outwards, and the right brake lever was always jammed against the right mudguard stem, which made it a bitch to use. The extendable front tube was maybe a centimetre or two too far away, so I kept sliding down the seat. Worst of all, the gearshifter didn't seem to be adjusted properly, which made finding the right gear a nightmare. I was stuck in high gears going up a steep slope, and sometimes too low going downhill.
Still, I was having fun. For starters, most of the problems I've just outlined are a simple matter of getting the trike set up properly for the rider. Getting the length of the front tube right and properly adjusting the gearshift would have made things much easier, and would have let me focus even more on the strengths of the recumbent trike. Aside from the remarkable level of comfort, the steering is simply mindblowing. In fact, the steering is so sharp you need to take all the weight off the handlebar grips, because the slightest touch on either handlebar will see the bike steer sharply. It's kinda scary to start of with: I was zig-zagging all over the path, looking like a complete pratt, and was so out of control I nearly collected a bike rider coming the other way shortly before nearly riding into the lake. Fightng the handlebars only exacerbates the problem. The solution is to just rest your palms lightly on the stop of the bars, and use only small inputs. The steering is self-centreing, so the trick is to just pedal and relax your hands. Once you've got the steering figured out, it's an awesomely fun tool, especially on fast downhill sections, where you can scream around corners at a frightening pace with a huge shit-eating grin on your mug. Better still, you can use "brake steer" to help you turn even faster. Both front wheels have their own drum brake, so if you actuate the left brake only, the right wheel will pivot around sharply, even without using the handlebars to steer. Once you've practiced it, it's a useful technique and quite a thrill. Oh, how I'd love to take the trike to the top of a twisty mountain pass, and make a full-blast descent. While trikes are slower overall than bikes (due to the extra weight and rolling resistance), there's no way in hell a bike rider will keep up with a triker of equal ability on a fast downhill run. The trike is so fucking fast through the corners even a motor vehicle would be hard pressed to pass the trike in the right conditions. OK, so it's comfy, can turn on the head of a pin, and it's awesome fun on fast downhill runs. What else? Being on three wheels gives you other advantages. For starters, you can ride as slowly as you want up very steep slopes because there's no minimum speed you need to maintain to keep your balance. And because you're not standing up and mashing down on the pedals, there's no knee strain. And if you do feel absolutely buggered, you can just hit the brakes and sit there until you feel like pedalling again. There's also the safety of not being able to fall off. Run over gravel or ice in a corner on a bicycle, you'll crash. On the trike, you'll just keep on going. You can tip a trike over in a fast corner, but I didn't even come close to doing it, despite screaming around some corners with my corpulent mass adding a lot of top-heavy incentive for the trike to tip over. It didn't. No-one using the slightest iota of common sense will tip one of these things. The drum brakes offer plenty of stopping power, even for someone of my size, and have a very good feel at the levers. Greenspeed recommends upgrading to disk brakes, but I don't think I'd bother, unless I were touring with a ton of luggage and anticipated some very long downhill runs, during which the drums may fade. But in a commuting role, the drums bring you to a stop with no fuss. I was happy to see that the width of the trike caused no problems either. It easily kept on my half of the cycle paths, and oncoming ridiers and pedestrians had no difficulty getting past. Toe clips/straps are an absolute necessity for a recumbent trike. Your legs are horizontal, and your toes point toward the sky, so gravity is pulling your feet down off the pedals. If you don't fasten your shoes very tightly, a lot of your energy is wasted just keeping your feet on the pedals. Even with toe-straps, my feet gradually started to slip out, and re-adjustment was necessary. For this reason, a pair of secure "clipless" pedals/shoes are a must to get the most out of a trike. As I said, the GT3 is the entry-level trike in the Greenspeed range, with a small, light build that wasn't suited to me. It also has "only" 27 gears, compared with a whopping 81 on the better models. The GT3 isn't meant for dirt trails or carrying a big load of luggage, and it lacks the super-low gears of the better models have which you'd need to tackle serious-hill climbs. I would have liked a couple of lower gears even for the modest hills I went up, though I doubt anyone fitter than me would have any problem, especially if they kept within the GT3's design brief. Oh, did I mention that the GT3 can be folded in half? Yep, you can quickly "break" it in two for transport in a car or plane, or even storage. Despite some obvious flaws and oddities, I had a ball on the GT3. To summarise... Strong points: - awesome steering Weak points: - jarring ride on bumpy surfaces I'm going to have another test of the GT3 in a month or so, after I do some riding on a borrowed mountain bike to build up my fitness a bit. A little more stamina and careful setup of the trike will enable me to give it better evaluation. I won't buy a GT3. It's not suited to me. I am, however, considering the GTR....
The GTR has 81 gears, higher-spec equipment, is custom-built for each buyer's size & weight and is generally more suited for touring and dirt-road usage. The biggest problem with trikes remains the price. The entry-level GT3 starts at a whopping $2950, and that's without a luggage rack, bottle holder, second mirror or bicycle computer. The GTR starts at $4950, though does come with a higher level of equipment and a much wider range of frame/seat colours. Add disk brakes, luggage and a headlight and you're looking at $6000 or more. Still, I'm tempted. If I can have that much fun on a badly set-up machine which was too small for me while I'm so unfit, how much fun am I going to have on a custom-built one when my fitness improves? Quite a lot I'd say. Greenspeed is an Australian manufacturer with a very high reputation for quality, which would make it a little easier again to hand over the dollars. Would someone like to buy me one, please?
Archived Thom Our little Greenie military imposter has crawled into a hole and hasn't been heard from recently, so here's a little gem of his from 2004:
Heh. And in case you were wondering, no word from his "lawyers" or the police who were supposedly coming to arrest me.
PSA Do not, under any circumstances, download the Incredimail freeware e-mail application. The cunt of a thing is a nightmare to uninstall, involving endless amounts of registry editing, otherwise, you'll get a prompt to install incredimail every fucking time you start your PC.
Quad meme Stolen from the cranky old bastard. Helena Handbasket's responses are included under mine. Four jobs you've had in your life: barista, dishwasher, contract MS Access programmer, software purchasing/licencing coordinator Helena: Cosmetic salesperson, artist's manager, theater director, secretary at a Kuwaiti-owned car-parts distributor. Four movies you could [ and do ] watch over and over: Blade Runner, Office Space, The Godfather, HEAT Helena: My Fair Lady, The Hunt for Red October, Finding Nemo, A Fish Called Wanda Four places you've lived: there's only two - Darwin and Canberra Helena: New York City, Brunswick, ME, Buenos Aires, Argentina, and Canberra, Australia Four fiction books you can't live without: The Ninja - Eric Van Lustbader, Salems Lot - Stephen King, The Books of Blood - Clive Barker, The Sunset Warrior - Eric Van Lustbader Helena: The Endless Steppe by Esther Hautzig, Thank You for Smoking by Christopher Buckley, The Fraternity of the Stone by David Morrell, The Thurber Carnival by James Thurber Four non-fiction books you consider essential: Fatal Vision - Joe McGuiness, The Perfect Storm - Sebastian Junger, Black Hawk Down - Mark Bowden, The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich - Willim Shirer Helena: The Innocents Abroad by Mark Twain, The Joy of Sects by Peter Occhiogrosso, The Face of the Tiger by Mark Steyn, A Short History of Byzantium by John Julius Norwich Four TV shows you love to watch: The Simpsons, Law & Order, The Sopranos, Iron Chef Helena: Same as Tex Four places you've been on vacation: Kyoto, Hong Kong, Los Angeles, Montreal. Helena: Madrid, Santa Fe, Disneyworld, the Bahamas. Four websites you visit daily: Tim Blair, Sydney Morning Herald, Damian Penny, Superbikeplanet. Helena: MakeupAlley, Tim Blair, The Agitator, The New York Times Four of your favorite foods: Ethiopian spicy beef, fish n' chips, beef vindaloo, Mr Wong's red curry chicken with roti bread. Helena: Steak and fries from La Cabaña in Buenos Aires, Cuban sandwiches from El Malecon in the Bronx, pizza from Sal's and Carmine's on 102nd street and Broadway in Manhattan, pork medallions in raspberry-pepper coulis from On The Veranda in Highland, NC Four places you'd rather be: Melbourne, riding my motorbike, NYC, Macau. Helena: Sephora, Barnes & Noble, Venice, anyplace cold. Four albums you can't live without: meh, don't listen to music much anymore. Helena: Soundtrack to Chicago, La Boheme, Stop Making Sense by Talking Heads, Negotiations and Love Songs by Paul Simon
Creationism is for people who are too stupid to accept that they descended from monkeys
I smoke like a fish - Scott Wickstein, who was actually sober at the time
It's gonna take a lotta fireworks to clean this place up - Homer Simpson
Happy new year folks. I've been too lazy to write anything. Hope you had a nice Christmas, and consumed lots of pork and beer. It's too fucking hot here right now. It hovered around 40c yesterday and feels just as bloody hot today. Thankfully I now have a nice evaporative cooler in my room. Best $229 I ever spent. I've also been entertaining Scott Wickstein, who's visiting from Adelaide, Scott is the ideal house guest: he doesn't expect to be taken anywhere or shown anything. Like me, he prefers to sit on his arse, drink beer and watch TV. Especially drink. The guy went through an entire case of Coopers in 2 days. He also a freak in the reading department, reading Anthony Beevor's Stalingrad in a day, and the equally large Berlin the following day. Today was an equal monument to laziness. It was too fucking hot to go anywhere so we stayed indoors. Fuck all that 'summertime activities' crap. I finished reading Steve Waugh's excellent autobio Out Of My Comfort Zone. A must for cricket fans.
The Changeling Brain has commanded me to complete this meme-thingy, so here goes....
Hmmmmm...... 1: While showering, I hold my left fist in the small of my back. I have absolutely no idea why I do this. And no, I've never done prison time. 2: I like to watch TV with the sound off while I listen to music through headphones. 3: I'm one of the few bloggers who rarely comments on recent news events, uses a white-on-black webpage scheme, and I don't update until around 1am in the morning, assuming I update at all. 4: I watch the finals or big tournament events in sports I usually have no interest in. I watch the soccer world cup, even though I think soccer mostly sucks. I have little interest in rugby or AFL, but often watch the finals of those too. 5: I am one of the few people on earth who hates mashed potatoes. I'd rather drink paint. OK, that's my five, and the following five people are now officially required to do the same: Emily, Yobbo, Mr. Mustard, Val and Bunyip.
For those of you who want an update on crazy Thom, here are some details.... 1- Thom went quiet just before Christmas. This was after yet another flood of amazingly lame (and contradictory) threats, promising that I was about to be arrested at any moment, and that the folks at the POWnetwork were going to be charged with 'aiding a terrorist' for requesting his public records. 2- As usual, Thom can't keep his own bullshit straight. On the one hand, he says a crime was committed when his records were requested, and that Mary Schantag and myself were going to be horribly punished. Yet, when questioned about his service record, Thom asserts that we never actually requested his records and we don't have them. 3- Despite myself and other USENET posters asking him dozens of times, Thom refuses to clarify exactly when he was in the RAAF, nor can he explain why he does not appear in any RAAF records. 4- Thommy has also used the evergreen excuse of the fake military veteran: claiming parts of his records are classified or 'missing'. This is the dog-ate-my-homework excuse of military imposters. 5- Still no word from Thommy's imaginary lawyers and friends in the federal police. 6- Despite being an 'expert' with the Melbourne PC Users group, Thom still seems to have no idea about how the internet works. When questioned about why he hadn't closed down my website as promised, he said my webhosts weren't able to because I have my own domain. Thommy expressed amazement that anyone with a blog would be "crazy" enough to have their own domain, and that noone could possibly have expected such a thing. (Next week, Thom discovers the existence of Netscape Navigator 1.0) 7- Thom offers the following explanation of his tortured syntax and spelling errors:
8- Thom demands to know when I'm going to pay his photographer "friend" for his photo. Despite endless requests, Thom has not been able to provide me with any contact info for this person, despite demanding that I contact him immediately. 9- Some random excerpts of Thommy's huffing and puffing:
Thom Lyons - an amusement park for the mind.
1: I've posted a correction to the 'Thom's claims chart'. Kev Gillett has informed me that the Vietnam Gallantry Cross was a valor award, rather than a service medal. The chart is now as it was when I originally posted it. My apologies go out to all recipients of this decoration for the error. Thom's claims, however, that the VGC is the equivalent to the Silver Star is still an outright lie. 2: Further digging on USENET has turned up another Thom claim: our photographer claims to have flown B52s, even though he's 'not allowed to'. Um....what? He also claims to have piloted an AC-1, an RF-4C, a T-33 and a U-3B. He also says he's flown in a "MiG-15bis" and this year got "half an an hour in a Sukhoi (jet)" as a birthday present. Thom claims to have been an "outstanding airman". 3: Thom claims to have been wounded by a mortar in Vietnam. Wouldn't this entitle him to the Purple Heart? No Purple Heart appears on his records. 4: Thom doesn't seem to know how many 'jumps' he made in Vietnam, or how many ribbons he was awarded. He has claimed figures of "8" and "12+" for the jumps. He has claimed 8 and 9 ribbons (which don't show up on his record). 5: Another weird Thom story appears on his website: Thom claims that on his way to Australia in 1988, he was forced off the plane and detained in a Fiji Airport transit lounge by Colonel Rambuka's goons wielding SMGs and "wearing fez's, funny shirts and dresses". He was eventually released along with a delegation of Australian travel agents who'd been detained at their hotel by the army. Sounds dubious to me. Thom emigrated in August 1988, the Fiji coup happened in May & September 1987. I kinda doubt the army was detaining visitors en masse a year later. 6: Another claim: "I was also a part of a POW rescue group between 1989 and 1999 called the Tachen Committee operating out of Thailand." Thom must have been a busy guy, given the fact that he claimed to be an officer in the RAAF during this period. 7: Another oddity, in response to someone who opposed the Vietnam draft: "So its OK that my life gets disrupted cause my dad was killed in Korea and my Mom was poor but the hippies and spoiled college types have the right not to be equally disrupted???" 8: Says he was also trained in "Nuclear Disaster Control" while in the USAF. Again, how much is true, and how much is horseshit? It's always difficult to tell with old Thommy.
This is a message to Thom from 'Mr Wong', my RAAF contact who debunked Thom's claims of having served in the RAAF.
Amen brother.
Thom again (.........check the update!) Thom is very, very cranky since being outed as a military fraud, sending me a ton of e-mails. Some excerpts:
Heh. poor fella doesn't seem to be coping well. Note: I've posted a correction and some additional info to 'Thom's Claims Chart' of the other day. UPDATE: I just came across yet another Thom stunner on USENET, from Sep 13 2002. Check this out:
Wow..... - now he was in the British Air Force (any of my Brit readers care to check this out?) because of "duel citizen stuff". Thom is therefore claiming British citizenship as well! Bwahaha!!! Oh my God. This guy is the Tolstoy of Bullshit.
Our peace-loving Islamic bretheren are still running wild in Sydney's suburbs, playing their favourite pastime of "bash whitey". Any chance we could import some serving IDF officers for 'crowd control'? Just saying is all...... Fucking pigs.
Thombusting, part 2
Our Castro-loving Greens candidate not only lied about serving in the RAAF, he lied about his Vietnam service with the USAF as well. This morning I received an e-mail from Mary Schantag, of the POWnetwork. She has just received Thom's DOD records and passed on the info. Let's see how Thom's claims stack up:
(** - the "Bronze Battle Star" is not a seperate award, which is the way Thom always mentions it. It is actually the Bronze Service Star, and in Thom's case, is part of his Vietnam service medal, and according to Mary Schantag of the POWnetwork, it means simply he was there for more than one campaign. It is not a valor decoration.) (*** - According to the good folks at POWnetwork, 'Martin Manor' was the name of a washroom at Kontum, which from a quick glance at the map, is over two hundred miles from Tan Son Nhut, where Thom's records say he was stationed) And this is just the stuff which can be checked against his DOD sheet. What other crap has this Walter Mitty made up? Oh, right, his RAAF service.... I guess it's too much to expect a public apology from Thom. I did just get this e-mail from him though:
Denial is a beautiful thing.
12 December 2005 Thombusting Thom Lyons - the Victorian Greens election candidate and Castro-loving lunatic - was never an officer in the RAAF. Here are some claims he made (with links to the USENET posts and website in question):
Gee. Thom Lyons lied about his RAAF service. What a shock. What an asshole. Hmmmm.....what to do with this lying prick?
Sorry lefties, one afternoon of violent drunken assholes on the beach does not equate with years of vicious Lebanese gangs intimidating, raping, assaulting, murdering and generally terrorising the rest of the Sydney population. I'll leave further comments to Paul Sheehan and Tom Paine. Both essential reading.
Following on from his fearsome non-existent lawyers, non-existent 'communications tribunal' and non-existent friends in the Federal Police, the Castro-loving Greens candidate Thom Lyons has issued more threats:
Uh-huh.
My knees are trembling as we speak.
Speaking of mental problems Thommy, I've had two currently serving members of the Australian military write to me in the last few days, pointing out further holes in your military service claims. Here's the first correspondent, whom I'll name 'Troy McLure' :
Here's the second correspondent, whom I'll name 'Mr. Wong'. Mr. Wong is currently in the RAAF, and is doing some checking into Thom's claims: First, on Thom's claims that he came to Australia in 1988 after being hired by Australian Defence Industries:
Next, Mr. Wong comments on one of Thom's other claims:
Mr. Wong also provided two questions to ask Thommy. Questions a real RAAF officer would know the answers to. When I sent Thom these questions, and asking for a comment on the e-mail above, Thom replied with the comments you see above. He's really not happy about having his claims checked on, is he? And in case you were wondering, I still haven't heard from his lawyers.
Caught up with the Spielberg/Cruise sci-fi epic last night. I enjoyed it tremendously, though it could have been better. Spielberg is always at his best when he's being dark, and the mood of this end-of-the-world epic is pitch-perfect. Kudos to Spielberg for the 'minimalist' approach of keeping it focused on Cruise's character and his family. The genuinely scary tripods are seen and heard - often in the background - as a huge, unstoppable terror, through the eyes of the humans. The visuals were astounding (I generally loathe obvious SFX), but it was the extraordinary use of sound that makes so much of the movie unsettling. The noise of the 'fertilisation' sequence while the family hides in the farmhouse basement was superb. Cruise does a surprisingly good job as the dickhead dad. Probably because Cruise himself is such a dick. There are two problems with the movie. First, the masive plot holes related to the tripods being hidden in the earth for thousands of years (nobody on the planet dug one up by accident?), and secondly, the rapid conclusion. One minute the humans are being wiped out, then suddenly, the aliens are dying, and it's 'movie over'. It's a lame, poorly constructed ending to a tense epic that deserved better. Still, it's well worth a look, especially if you have a big screen and surround-sound. Those tripods rock butt.
Willem Defoe kidnaps rich guy Robert Reford. Helen Mirren - the rich guy's wife - wants him back. Defoe and Redford have a bunch of dumb conversations about nothing. Stuff happens. You never find out why any of it happened, or who these people really were. It's all quite watchable, and quite completely pointless. This is a film about, well, nothing.
John Lennon was a worthless cunt who is doing more for the world as grave fertiliser than he ever achieved in life.
This coming from the guy who had an air-conditioned room for his fur coats. Fucking douchebag.
7 December 2005 Thom Lyons: the Truth-telling Greenie For a decorated Vietnam veteran, Thom Lyons seems rather desperate to prevent anyone from looking at his US service records.
Second, he's been sending an increasingly frantic series of e-mails to the folks at POWnetwork, who have filed a request for his records. Thom is claiming on USENET that he is having "discussions" with them, and that they are not carrying out any such check. Problem for Thommy is that the good folks there have been notifying me of Thom's amusing correspondence. Thom wasn't aware of this, so has been caught out lying through his teeth yet again. You see, Thommy has been trying to convince the USENET crowd that I've been lying about his contradictory claims, and demanded I post the name of the person at POWnetwork who I'd been talking to, so he could deny it:
Strange then, that Thom had written this non-existent Mary person the following e-mail only hours earlier:
Thommy old boy, here's some advice: if you're going to tell lies in public, first make sure your intended accomplice is actually on board.
Heh. What a nutbag.
A few brief mentions of other noteworthy claims Thom has made: - his father was in the IRA and was assassinated by MI6 in 1950 in New York City. - about his entry to Australia:
Mmmmkayyyyy. There's a few problems with this story....
- the story about the death of his wife changes all the time:
- despite having the spelling & comprehension skills of a chipmunk, Thom claims to have taught 'military history' at the University of New Mexico 'in the 80s'. - Thom has alternatively claimed that he is retired, but also that he is currently a teacher with an Australian Certificate IV teaching qualification. - Somewhere in all this, Thom claims to have once run a business "for almost 20 years on socialist principles of honesty and service to the cusomer." There may well be a kernel of truth in some or all of these, but I suspect there's a large pile of bullshit to be sorted through as well. Don't you think if you could explain these things, you would? Yet, as usual, Thom's only responses are threats, ravings about 'mental illness', and outright lies.
Thanks to readers Geoff B. and David P. who wrote in with advice on my IDE-USB problem. Their advice worked, and I'm now speedily transferring all my files to the new PC.
Had a chance to test a race-kitted, 2nd-hand Buell XB9R Firebolt last week. It was quite an experience. How can such a fundmentally flawed motorcycle be this much fun?
The bike I was on had 14,000+kms on the clock, and a broken speedo. The 'race kit' as far as I can tell consists of a very loud pipe and a remap of the injection to suit. First impressions were good. The footpegs are high-set but the bike is otherwise quite comfy even for someone of my tall, corpulent dimensions. The position of the handlebars seemed spot-on, and the switchgear was easy to use. Powered by modified version of the Harley Sportster 883 Engine, the XB9R is a seriously schitzoid motorcycle. Here we have super-compact, quick-steering sportsbike built around a tall, overweight, crude and laughably underpowered motor. The first thing I noticed about the engine was how badly it vibrates. Some would call this 'character'. I call it 'shit engineering'. The bike shakes so badly at the lights it's a wonder the mirrors didn't fall off. Get the bike moving though, and it'll bring a smile to your face. The throttle response is simply brilliant, thanks to some good engine mapping and the belt-drive, though it did have a hiccup in the fueling in 1st gear. It had a nice surge of torque for brisk acceleration, at least until to hit redline, which comes in at a laughable 7,000rpm. You've barely opened the taps before you have to kick it up a gear. Between 5,500 and 7,000, you've got a glorious burst of power, but you'll hardly have time to enjoy it. It would be even worse on the stock bike, with less power and less torque to play with. The clutch action was surprisingly smooth, though the gearshift was tractor-like. Oh, did I mention how great this bike sounds with a loud pipe on it? The biggest problem with the bike are the suspenders, which are absolutely dire if this demo bike was any indication. I've read in some overseas reviews that the bike needs some serious suspension tweaking before it will deliver the handling you'd expect from such a compact bike. I'd love to ride an XB9R with an Ohlins kit fitted. The quality of finish wasn't really up the scratch for such a pricey bike, and as the broken speedo indicates, Buells have a long, long way to go before they catch up to Japanese build quality. Oh, and the brakes are pretty ordinary too. That's a lot of faults for a $16,000 sportsbike that will get blown to the weeds by pretty much any Japanese sports tackle. Yet I had an absolute ball riding this bike. Maybe it was the weirdness of a huge, lumpy v-twin in such a tiny frame, or the experience of riding a sportsbike that sounds like a chopper. Maybe it was the handling potential that lies in the super-compact chassis. Riding a Buell is an experience unlike any other on two wheels. But I can't help but wonder how good it would be with a Japanese powerplant inside. The stock bike puts out a feeble 80+hp. Compare that to the hardly-cutting-edge VTR1000, which puts out 105hp. Despite the fun factor, the fact remains that the XB9R is hobbled in the performance department by a dickless cruiser engine. The XB9R was a hoot to ride, and I'd love for Santa to bring me one for Christmas, but if I'm gonna buy a Buell, it'll be the XB12R or nothing.
Since getting my new PC, I've been trying unsuccessfully to get my stuff off my old PC hard drive. I bought an 'R-Driver' USB-to-IDE cable. Try as I might, I cannot get my current WinXP PC to recognise the thing when I plug it in. It simply doesn't appear as an external drive or device. - have tried plug-n-play and using the R-Driver drivers. And yes, the old drive is in "slave" mode. I've checked over and over. Would this be a firewall issue? I use Macafee personal Firewall Plus, with the normal security settings. Any suggestions? This sucks.
Thom Lyons still hasn't sued me or had me arrested, as promised. He is, however, still huffing with rage about my checking up on his claims of military service. Apparently unaware that anyone can request a D.O.D. record, Thom claims this is breaking privacy laws, and has 'dared' me to go to the US Embassy and request his records, because they'll 'arrest' me. Oh, and if anyone was in doubt as to just how crazy Thom Lyons really is, check out his explanation as to why he's not willing to answer those pesky questions about his military service:
So.....Thom won't explain his contradictory claims of military service, because Eschelon will be spying on his answers. Um, yeah, I can see how letting the US government get publically available info they already have is such a frightening idea. Remember kids, this is the man described by the Victorian Greens party as:
As what? An organ doner?
- Fez, That 70's Show
- Alan Shore , Boston Legal
I managed to miss the entire OSM/Pajamas Media circus until last week, until I noticed Steve The Hog giving them a bollocking. At first I couldn't figure out why the grumpy bugger was going on and on about it, but the more I read, the more bizarre it got. As far as I can work out, Charles Johnson, Glenn Reynolds and a whole bunch of quality huge-name bloggers raised a whopping USD$3.5 million to start this....whatever the fuck it is. The whole thing seems to be a colossal balls-up. First, the silly buggers forget to register the damned "OSM" name, and have to go back to "Pajamas Media". Except, er....they're still using the OSM url. Then there's the content: what content? There's a ton of blogger profiles, and lots of waffle about how great it's all going to be, but one questions still remains: What the fuck is it ABOUT? Is it a group blog? There doesn't seem to be any posts. Is it a media-monitoring site? Well, no. And now, there's a "discussion" going on, asking "What should Pajamas media be?" Um, fellas, shouldn't you have worked that out before you raised millions of dollars of other people's money? Does anybody out there actually know what Pajamas Media is supposed to be doing? Why the hell did they need to raise $3.5 million to start what looks like an incredibly boring group blog with hardly any posts? Why do I think Pajamas Media is going to end up as an iconic MBA case study in how not to start up a company? It's as if Margot Kingston is running the bloody thing. (...and since I wrote this, I see Tim Blair has jumped ship. Wise move, Tim)
Do you think he's hiding something? My efforts to verify ex-Greens candidate (and Castro apologist) Thom Lyons' claims of Vietnam service have thrown the poor fellow into a state of panic. He's sent me a flood of private e-mails promising to have me arrested and committed to a mental facility if I check on his military service record, and says no one is allowed to check his service records without his permission. Odd behaviour for a man who constantly boasts about his service "fighting the commies" in Vietnam, and who once said his records were available "on the web" (they aren't). Hmmm, why would Thom be worried about someone checking up on his claims? Probably because some of them might be a little difficult to explain. Amongst them: 1: Nobody named Thom Lyons or Thomas Patrick Lyons appears on the Vietnam nominal rolls. A few days ago, he denied ever saying he served with 2RAR. When I quoted his own words from the google archive, and asked why his name did not appear on the nominal rolls, his only response was "go see a shrink". 2: When asked - repeatedly - to clarify wether he volunteered or was drafted into the RAAF, Thom again refused to provide details, and raged at me that I was mentally imbalanced and "a danger to the community". 3: 4: This is just a sample of the massive jumble of contradictory and bizarre claims Thom has made on the internet. The POW Network has filed a request to see Thom's service record. It should arrive in about a month and they'll let me know what it contains. I guess we'll finally see exactly how many porkies old Thommy has been telling. Oh, and still no word from his "lawyers". Surprise, surprise.
Listen up: Far Cry is the best first-person shooting game, ever. No other game even deserves to be compared to it. The gameplay, atmosphere, weaponry, AI and fun levels are light-years ahead of Doom, Quake, FEAR and every other game in the genre. Also, I've been forced to revise my opinion of EA Cricket 2005. It turns out that the default difficulty setting is "medium". By switching it to "easy", the game become somewhat playable. It's still too difficult to score runs and play any shot other than a drive - especially in limited-over matches. The longer game makes it easier to score runs, once you work out the trick (ie. you have to stand way over on the leg or off-side to play scoring shots). If you're a cricket fan, it becomes an addictive experience.
If you're not a regular listener of the excellent Silent Running podcasts, why not? It's like a great radio talk show without the idiots. And it doesn't take long to download, even on my crappy dialup connection. You don't need any special software to listen to it, just click, download and listen.
He's been in a bad mood lately, so I hope no one shows him this nauseating puff-job on Venezuelan thug Hugo Chavez by Sydney Morning Herald idiot Andrew West:
I think I'm gonna hurl.
Richard Neville says New Zealand is an enlightned, new-age, lefty feelgood utopia: I never appreciated the metaphor of a frog placed in a saucepan of water and so gradually brought to the boil, that it expires unawares, until I flew to New Zealand. Landing at midnight, the change of atmosphere was palpable. Clearing customs a breeze; free tea and baggage trolleys, an absence of gun toting ninja's. I had come to deliver a keynote on the future of recreation, despite its lack in my current incarnation. According to the conference brochure, “recreation is at the heart of our identity, quality of life, health and wellbeing”. New Zealand is an appropriate setting for such an event, themed AT THE HEART, being a land that still has one. Praise Jesus. One wonders why Kiwis are migrating to Australia at the rate of 30,000 per annum.
Your 6-wheel SUV too small for you? You need to tow the occasional mountain? Well, have we got the engine for you. Here's the specs on the 14 cylinder version...
Awesome dude.....
Had a long weekend in Old Syd. Some highlights: - The annual motorcycle expo at Olympic Park. The eye-catcher was the gorgeous Ducati retro-styled Sport1000. It also draws attention to just how fugly the modern Ducati range really is. - Getting yelled at on the train for no reason by a middle-aged, grossly obese midget woman who was wearing short-shorts and a fairy outfit. One of the most frightening sights I've seen in years. - A brilliant beef vindaloo at the Tandoori Palace on Oxford St. Talk about agony and ecstasy. Christ it was hot.
If you want to read Crazy Thom in his original text, do the following: - Go to the Google archive for aus.politics.guns. Go and experience the insanity. Speaking of which, I'm checking up on Thom's Vietnam service claims. Watch this space.
A request for the ladies reading this If you've got new or gently used makeup, perfume, or personal care products lying around the house that you're not using, and would like information on how to send these to female coalition troops in Iraq, write to helena<at>whackingday.com. Gents, pass this info on to your significant others if you think they'd be interested (and for Pete's sake, ask their permission before you clean out their dresser).link
Still no word from the retarded green wussy about the legal action he'll be taking against me.In lieu of such developments, here's classic piece of Thom Nuttiness, where he explains the sinister origins of Dubya's family: Of course we hate Bush because we hate evil. The Bush crime familyHe goes on to explain how the 'Busches' changed their evil German name to insinuate themselves into American society so they could be spies for the British during the revolutionary ar. Gotta love this guy. He's the web's biggest freak since Joe Vialls snuffed it. By the way, can anyone recommend an organisation to contact to check the validity of someone's claims of "front line service in Vietnam"? Not that I'm thinking of any specific person of course.... link
Terror laws an anti-Aboriginal plot So says self-appointed Aboriginal leader Michael Mansell. The arrests were all a ruse to help destroy Aboriginals.
Well, I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that there are already special laws applying to arresting Aboriginals. Hey, whatever you say, white man. Personally, I think old Mikey might have other reasons to worry about anti-terror laws: When Michael Mansell visited Libya in the late 1980s to seek aid for the Aboriginal Provisional Government from Colonel Gadaffi, the press treated him as a bit of a joke. But if Mansell had been an officer of a sovereign Aboriginal state, it would not have been quite so amusing.Another Aboriginal spokesman of great integrity. link
Where'd the green guy run off to? Still no legal action from dickbrain. The man who promised to take my house, get me arrested for stalking, close down my website and shut down my e-mail accounts suddenly seems rather unenthusiastic about taking any action. I offered to make it easy for him: Thom, As you are very stupid, I'll make it easy for you: your lawyer doesn't Thommy's response was what I expected: your real name and address is where we start from. This isn't your Apparently the reason his (non-existent) lawyers are unable to e-mail me for my details, and why Thom doesn't want to me e-mail them, is as follows: When I get his name and address the ball will roll. Do you honestly Oh no, wait, this is the reason his lawyers can't e-mail me:
So, it's not "legal" for his lawyers to get my contact details by e-mail, but it's "legal" for Thom to do so. More of this man's powerful logic at work. Others in the newsgroup have been watching Thom's desperate squirming with amusement, one asking him if he realised what an idiot he was making out of himself. I couldn't care less. He suckered me in and that was dumb, now I So the guy who's taking legal action against me and demands that I post my personal details on a public newsgroup, has decided he'll proceed by not communicating with me at all. Way to go Thommy, run and hide and hope your opponent beats himself into submission. What a fearsome adversary.
Thanks to Dan L. for the pic.
One of the great things about getting a new PC is that I'm finally able to play some games which look better than Pong. Here's an omnibus review: Doom 3: Despite the awesome looks & atmosphere this offers, the gameplay is difficult and annoying. Thankfully, the easily-installed "Falken flashlight" mod fixes all that. It operates on the whacky assumption that the Marines in the 23rd cetury will have found a way to attach a flashlight to a gun. Yeah, crazy I know. You can now see where you're going and are able to look at the thing you're shooting at. If you have Doom 3, I recommend installing this mod a.s.a.p. - it makes the game much, much better. The weapons are kinda lame though, lacking a certain 'crunchy' satisfation. Unreal 2: I was a huge fan of the 1998 original. It still looks great today, with weird and wonderful worlds to explore, and brilliantly atmospheric music. The sequel is very different. Based on a series of missions, centreing around the recovery of some ancient alien artifacts. The level design is a welcome break from the tedious find-the-secret-switch formula. Many of the levels see you defend positions against waves of attackers alongside other marines and requires some strategic thought in placement of barriers, gun turrets, and your comrades. Engaging, challenging and fun. The 'forest rescue' sequence in particular is a superbly atmospheric experience. Oddly, the first and last levels of the game are very poor, but the rest makes up for it. The voice acting, however, is laughably bad. The game looks stunning, but you need some serious hardware to run it. Much better weapons than Doom 3. FEAR: a great, and weird, hybrid of a first-person sci-fi shooter and a Japanese zombie movie. I have't got far into it yet, but the graphics engine and gameplay are wicked, and the weapons are great. I don't know what the hell most of it's about, but I guess I'll find out. EA Cricket 2005: an astounding game, looks-wise, with atmospheric commentary from Richie Benaud and Jim Maxwell. The player movement and the entire look/feel of it is like watching a Channel 9 telecast, it's that good. Gameplay-wise, it's horrendously difficult. My first team score was three runs. The batting technique is complicated to the point of being unuseable. The bowling side of it is fun though, with a much more manageable interface. The commentary has some horrible bugs and the menu interface is dreadful. This could have been so much better, but it's simply too difficult to be satisfying. MotoGP 3: an essential purchase if you like motorbike racing, or are a motorsport games junkie. It's difficult to master, but the brilliant graphics engine, authentic track layouts and street-racing options make it an absolute hoot. Great stuff. A joystick is necessary though: don't try using a mouse with this unless you want to crash approximately 47 times per lap. I also have SimCity 4, Pharaoh, Law & Order: Justice is Served, and Rugby 2005, but haven't had much of a chance to play them yet. I'll get back to ya.
Helena Handbasket's Quote of The Day - Aristotle, as quoted by Roger Sandall in The Culture Cult: Designer Tribalism and other essays, displaying a hell of a lot more knowledge about communism than Thom Lyons. link
No, really. Thom does a lot of pro-gun rants on USENET. I'd normally say 'good for him', except Thom being Thom, he sees no contradiction whatsoever between being a gun nut and being a candidate for The Greens, whose policies clearly advocate a total ban on guns. Here are some Greens policy statements on firearms:
When these policies were pointed out to Thommy, he wasn't happy, responding thus:
I pointed out these policies came from the Greens national & state websites. Me: Are the Greens lying about their own policies? Might have something to do with being a state candidate, fucknuts. When I told Thommy this, he responded with this bewildering non-sequitur:
Urrrh? Oh, and get this: Thom tries to make the case that the Greens are a bunch of tough, gun-totin' hunters: The current Greens started out as shooters and hunters and we called Mwahahaha. Shooters and hunters. Oh dear, oh dear.
After I finished choking on laughter, I asked Thommy a question:
Then Mr. Lyons implied he'd never even mentioned taking legal action:
Finally, Thom offers an explanation for his embarrasing election results:
Heh. Sure thing Thommy. You've got problems much worse than inadequate funding..... 10 November 2005 I've been setting up my new PC & associated bits n' pieces for the last few nights, hence the lack of Thom updates. Let me fix that right now..... I've been monitoring The Green Headcase for the last few days, and it's becoming ever more clear what a frothing, psychotic nutball he really is. Conversations with Thom consist of five stages, all of which can run concurrently: 1- A complete inability to follow - or even understand - the subject at hand. 2- Similarly, Thom's utterances are for a large part a sequence of non-sequiturs. 3- An amazing inability to keep track of his own lies. 4- Lots of empty threats, which he quickly forgets about once his bluff is called. 5- Thom will repeat the same question, over and over, no matter how many times you answer it. He'll also repeat the same disproven factoids ad infinitum.
First of all, remember Thom's threats that his lawyers would take my house and close down my website? I asked him why I hadn't heard from these scary fellows. At first, Thom stalled by saying they "didn't know" who the website host was. After supplying him with the name & contact details for my webhost on three occasions, Thom responded:
I guess looking at the webpage with their contact details was a little difficult for him and his lawyers. I had to send him the contact details & URL again. Thom moved on to a new stalling tactic: I had to post my full name & address on the public forum, so his lawyers could "serve" me. No said I, but I would happily supply it to his "lawyers" if they e-mailed me. A simple request, but one which made Thom scream about my "cowardice":
I pointed out to our mentally-deficient Green friend that merely requesting someone's contact details didn't require a "legally binding" document. After days and days of repeating this offer, Thom suddenly changed his tune:
Heh. So, Thom has magical lawyers who will have no contact whatsoever with the person they are taking action against, but instead will operate through Thom. That part makes the whole thing sound really believable to me. I concluded that the reason Thom wants my street address is for his Australian-based lawyers, right? Turns out, Poor Thom admitted he doesn't have any Australian-based lawyers: Me: But you don't *have* a lawyer do you? Snerk. Some great legal might Thom is going to hammer me with: first, a non-existent Australian lawyer, and second, an American law firm who cannot be found in any American telephone directory or Bar Association lists, who apparently need to conduct all their court action through their client, and who have been unable to contact my web hosts despite having access to their phone number, address and e-mail. Hmmm. I'm guessing I'm not about to lose my house any time soon. Having dispensed with Thom's lame legal threats, how about his promises to close down my Gmail account?
I informed poor Thommy a few days later that my account was still active, and reminded of his promise to have it closed. He responded:
I'm guessing the "things to do" includes sending dozens of incoherent rants to USENET forums. I was curious though: if his American 'lawyers' didn't want my address, and he doesn't even have an Australian lawyer, why exactly did he need my street address? Seems he wants a little man-on-man action:
So, Thom doesn't want lawyers involved after all, he wants to settle it "man to man", whatever that means. I suspect there's an implied threat in there. Well, now that Thom's badass lawyers have been flushed down the proverbial toilet, and my gmail account is no longer a concern of his, what about his "friend" in the "Federal Police"? You remember, this one:
I mentioned that I know quite a few people in the Federal Police, and asked for more details. Thom didn't respond to my questions... ...until days later when I mentioned it again, and got a very different story:
If you're going to lie, at least make an effort to remember the shit you made up. No word from Thom's mystery photographer friend either. The one who Thom claimed wanted "$5000 immediately"....a figure which a few days later had turned into a mere "$175". Surprisingly (not really), Thom could not provide a name or contact details for this person. So here we are, a week later. How have Thom's scary threats worked out? - Website not closed down, as threatened. Hmmmm, an implied threat of physical violence, along with demands for payment to a 'friend' Thom can't identify. Looks a little like criminal conduct doesn't it? Personally, I'm really really hoping Thom decides to run for office again.....
Idiot Quest: The Wrath of Thom Unable to explain away the non-existence of his lawyers, his police 'friend', his photographer 'friend' and the scary 'tribunal', and similarly unable to explain why my blog and gmail accounts have not been closed down as promised, Thom is still trying to sound as menacing as possible:
He doesn't know who the server owners are, despite the fact I've told him the name of the company, their address and their contact details. Simple things seem a little beyond Thom's grasp. Hosting Matters management must be quaking in terror. Here's his response to my request for further details about his mystery 'tribunal':
Oh, and he threw in another rant on the wonders of the Castro regime:
Heh. It's a wonder poor Thom is able to dress himself in the morning. Something tells me I won't be seeing any e-mails from Thom's lawyers in my inbox tomorrow either.
Helena Handbasket asks six questions about Australian politics: 1- When will the Labor Party institute mandatory psychiatric evaluations for its members? 2- What does the Australian Senate actually, you know, do? 3- What is up Jon Stanhope's butt? (note: this is a hypothetical question, I don't want anybody to actually go and look) 4- Why do parliamentary elections use a vote-counting system that makes the American electoral college look simple by comparison? 5- Has anyone noticed the irony of a country that completely nationalises its healthcare system, yet continually bitches about "how expensive" medical treatment is? 6- What the hell kind of name is "Gough"? Send answers to helena<at>whackingday<dot>com.
There's no sign of them on the New Mexico Bar Association's list either. Not that he's actually explained why he's 'hired' an American firm to deal with a case where both persons are in Australia, but logical explanation and Greens tend not to go together. No word from his Federal Police "friend", or from his photographer "friend". He hasn't provided any more details about the "tribunal" he refered to either. A thought just occurred to me: Thom couldn't have (gasp!) made all this up, could he? C'mon Thom, you slimy fucker, why aren't you suing me? I demand to be sued! I have a right to be sued!
Bought a new PC today, which means I'll actually be able to play some proper games on it. My current machine is a creaky old Compaq. And I'm finally going to get broadband as well. Bloody dial-up shits me to tears. So, any advice on what's the quickest, most hassle-free way to transfer files from one PC to the other?
Following on from yesterday's post, Thom continues to rage at me, and demand I post my personal details on a public forum:
As for Thom's phantom law firm of "O'Lynne, Lyons and Fitzpatrick", Thom now says he meant Golden, New Mexico, not Golden, Colorado:
Not surprisingly, there is no sign of Thom's mystery law firm in the phone directories for either New Mexico or Colorado. And, despite my requests to Thom, they haven't e-mailed me either. Still, Thom is very confident in his non-existent dream team:
What 'communications tribunal'? Thom says they are at "55 King St. Melbourne". Problem is, 55 King St Melbourne is the address for the Victorian Department of Justice, which doesn't have a "communications tribunal". So, we have Thom threatening me with non-existent lawyers, non-existent police 'friends', non-existent tribunals and a photographer friend who doesn't seem able to send me an e-mail. I asked him what 'libel' these scary non-existent powers were going to punish me for:
A female hygiene device for Germans? Other than his mighty spelling prowess, Thom also displays a great knowledge of how the internet works:
I informed Thom as to the existence of something called "hosting fees". Thom thinks I said 'posting' fees:
He went on to treat me to another long, psychotically nutty non-sequitur rant, this time about how Saddam was freely and fairly elected. No really:
Got that kiddies? Welcome to Thom Politics 101, where Saddam and Castro are freely-elected democrats, where no plane hit the Pentagon on 9/11, where supply and demand have no effect on prices, where Cuban dissidents are Buddhist CIA agents, where Che Guevara 'never existed' and where George Bush's grandfather was responsible for the rise of the Nazi party. Oh, one last thing, because Thom is so upset at my using his photo, I have chosen an appropriate avatar:
Fat, green and from another planet.
The return of Thom Lyons, and he's brought his lawyers! Yes, the Greens party candidate and certified nutcase hath returned!
Thom was not happy, and started issuing big scary legal threats:
Unfortunately, he kinda undermined his case for libel with the following sentence:
Oops. Still, he has hopes for financial retribution over 'unauthorized' use of his photo:
Oddly, Thom cannot provide details of who the photographer is, and no-one has e-mailed me demanding payment. The posts continued, with promises to suspend my e-mail account:
Old Thom can't tell the difference between a blog and an e-mail account. But, back to the waffle:
Thom thinks posting to a public newsgroup and my own webpages is 'stalking'. Heh. Lots of threats from Thommy, very little action.
Hmmm. I queried him on his fearsome legal team. He said they're in his 'home town'. Thing is, his home town is Golden, Colorado. Thom the genius has apparently engaged American lawyers to sue an Australian. Heh. Mind you, Thom is the guy who confused the Liberal Democratic Party with the Democratic Labor Party (even after being corrected on it), and thought I lived in Texas after telling him I lived in Canberra. Oh, I forgot to mention, Thom often makes a big point of his combat service in Vietnam:
How exactly did he 'fight the commies'? He was an Air Force photographer. I think poor Thom is a few cans short of a six-pack. Just check out this non-sequitur rant in response to my invitation that his lawyers to e-mail me:
I guess he didn't look too hard. Come on Thom, sue me. I'm waiting, you pole-smoking cumstain.
The joyful Stalinists over at the Communist Party of Australia are celebrating a momentous anniversary:
And they did so many wonderful things:
Sadly, all the fun was destroyed by the democracy-seeking capitalist pigs!
Yes, these people want The Soviet Union back. Coz, y'know, they were so good at protecting 'democratic rights'. In honour of this wonderful occassion, here's some pictures of dead commies:
There are few sights in the world as wonderful as that of a freshly-whacked communist.
Something to wrap your fish n' chips with That's The Latham Diaries for ya. It is one of the dullest reads since Bill Wyman published his lists of paychecks and sexual conquests in Stone Alone, and at least he had some interesting people to talk about. Christ, it was boring.
You ever gone to a party or a dinner where you've been seated next to the most boring person in the room for hours on end? That's what this book is like, only much, much worse. Latham is self-absorbed to the point of solipsism. I haven't seen much a monument of self-pity and elevated self-worth in my entire life. Unsurprisingly, Latham sees his election loss as the fault of everyone else. The conspiratorial party machine, a biased media, bad campaign managers, a stupid ungrateful public. Nothing of his own public displays of psychosis, his monumental misreading of the public mood, his cretinous campaign decisions. Boy, are we lucky we didn't elect this psychotic fartknocker as PM. The man may be the biggest loser I've ever seen in my life. Good riddance you worthless cunt, you won't be missed. (PS. I borrowed the book from the library, so the Werriwa Retard won't be getting a cent from me)
Why The Simpsons still rules the roost, and why Family Guy and Futurama don't It's true what the critics say: The Simpsons is a ghost of its former self. Too many lame celebrity cameos, too much self-referential smart-arsey humour, increasingly silly storylines.
- loveable main characters. There's always something to latch onto, something to love in even the weakest Simpsons episodes. The same can't be said of Family Guy or Futurama. At their best, they're as funny, and sometimes funnier than Homer & Co. But there's simply too many dud episodes, and - biggest problem of all - too much time spent on characters who aren't even remotely funny. Family Guy is saddled with the problem that the main character - Peter - is an annoying, obnoxious, moron who the writers seem to give screen time to when they can't figure out what else to do. Peter does exactly three things on the show: - chuckle like a little girl, over and over and bloody over What's truly baffling is that the writing for Brian and Stewie is consistently brilliant, and that Lois and Meg are such likeable characters. It's as if someone else throws in the Peter Griffin scenes in post-production. DVDs are definitely the way to watch Family Guy: that way, I can fast forward through all of Peter's scenes. Futurama had a similar problem: Bender. Four seasons without a single laugh. Not one. But hey, it was set in the future, so they had to have a robot, right? Bender has less range even than Peter Griffin. He just stood around and shouted "bite my shiny metal ass!" a lot, and was the central character in a truly depressing amount of episodes. A pity, because pretty much everything else about the show rocked. I can honestly say I laughed harder during some Futurama episodes than I've ever laughed at anything in my whole life. When it was good, it was truly brilliant. So why waste so many episodes on such a boring, unfunny character? The Simpsons, for all its current flaws, has never had to drag around so much dead weight.
This is the Sachs MadAss 125.
It's an automatic 125cc road-registerable motorcycle with a wicked little 2-stroke motor. Basically, we have here a motorized BMX and hot little wheelie machine. Damn, I want one bad.
Noam Chomsky praises erroneous journalism when it's politically correct. When even the Guardian rates a lefty intellectual as a paranoid, hypersensitive nut, you know you've got a crank on your hands.....
A great read. And very alarming.
The Triumph Daytona 955i: a performance bike for the real world.
I'll say it again: the Triumph triple is the best motorcycle engine on the planet. The torque of a twin and the power of a four. Beautiful, linear power delivery. Makes an awesome noise too. The Daytona has softer suspension than the Japanese superbikes, but this is only a problem if you're doing track days. As a road bike, it's spot-on. Much comfier than the Jap competition to boot. It's also cheaper than the competition, and there's a ton of top-notch Triumph factory accessories available for it. Personallly, I'd whack a new set of springs in it, fit the Triumph gel seat, and a Staintune muffler, and set off on a three day road trip. Hmmm...here's hoping they do some run-out deals on this model early next year. Hell, I might even opt for this bike ahead of my beloved VTR1000.
Prince Chuckie loses what's left of his mind Good old Charlie is gonna become a PR agent for Islam:
And this tit is going to be the King one day. Oh joy.
William F. Buckley's marvellous 1981 essay on one of the world's great foodstuffs still rings true today:
Read it all.
The Daily Mirror uberwimp Brian Reade is in typical form:
Poor fellow never has gotten over the collapse of the USSR.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! The best Chinese restaurant on earth closed today. Gaaaaah!
As part of their weekly newsletter, the Australian Communist Party happily reprints this mind-boggling self-praise from the North Korean regime:
Um...woo!
The Green Left Weekly brings you some rather incomprehensible poetry from our next poet laureate "Mohsen":
'pulling the weeds of jealousy'. Heh.. But there's more!....
<chortle>. I think this shit is used as a torture method in Turkish prisons. But wait, there's another!....
Bwehehehe: "Night wears the shame in front of the sadness in my heart". Sweet Jesus. Imagine getting trapped in an elevator with this cock-knocker.
Go listen to Silent Running's latest podcast.
Speading scurrilous rumours about Ozbloggers Scott Wickstein is actually English. Tony Taylor takes it up the bum. Tim Blair drives a Daewoo Matiz. Paul Bickford drinks Subzero. Professor Bunyip works as a fluffer for Bob Brown. Yobbo masturbates to pictures of Vesna.
I've signed up for this year's ride. $50 to enter, which goes to a fantastic cause and puts you in the running for $20,000 of your pick of Honda motorcycle range. You also get to ride on Australia's best motorcycling roads with 2000+ other riders. It's quite something. If you're a rider and wanna tag along with me, e-mail me at tex <at> whackingday.com.
I have returned to you, my children I'm back from my holiday to Phillip Island and Melbourne. Some brief notes: Riding 743kms from Canberra to Phillip Island when you have a staph infection in your leg is kinda painful. The weather at the MotoGP race was great: warm sun, cool breeze. Bitchen. Valentino Rossi won again. Yawn. I was cheering for Nicky Hayden. The hordes of Valentino Rossi fans were as moronic and annoying as they usually are. One of the Suzuki promo girls in the AMCN Expo tent was 'Melanie' from Big Brother. Sat at the 'Bass Strait' stand for the first time. A great viewing spot, maybe even as good as 'Siberia'. Melbourne drivers are the worst in Australia. And can someone please explain the logic behind those ridiculous 'hook turns'? Stayed at Tom Paine's apartment in Melbourne. Could hardly move for all the 6ft tall blonde Jewish women in there. Quiznos makes the best damned sandwiches on the planet. Frickin' awesome. Subway subs by comparison taste like condom wrappers.
Other than being boring as batshit, having humourless dickheads as fans, and all those wonderful riots, the reason I hate soccer is because it causes millions of brain-dead morons around the globe to worship fuckwits like this:
Diego Maradona: drug addict, serial cheat, supporter of communist tyrants, prancing crybaby weasel and all-round complete retard. But hey, he could kick an inflated sphere around, so that makes him, um, 'special' or something....
Some people have reported problems viewing the graphic files on this webpage. Can any web experts out there suggest what the problem may be? Looking for older whackings? Wanna see my previous rants against lefty, commie, peacenick wankers, plus lots of fun stuff about motorcycles, music and movies?................ Click here for the full past whackings index |
Motorcycles Scooters & Dealers Trikes Guns Helicopters Support Brave Multinationals!!! |
I got exhausted within 5 minutes of setting off, mostly from the bad gearshifting, the too-long pedal stroke and my own lack of fitness.
First he claimed that requesting his records is a criminal offence (it isn't), and that it requires his permission (it doesn't), and that I would be arrested the second I set foot on American soil if I asked for them. Uh-huh.
Still no word from 
This utterly interminable load of shite drags on for 419 bloody pages. That fat crybaby, paranoid weasel moans about everything: the stupidity of everyone but himself, endless 'they're out to get me" conspiracies, American are idiots, military personnel are murderous meatheads, voters are selfish bastards, why-won't-anyone-listen-to-me, I really won the campaign, and on and on and on it bloody goes.
But it's still the best animated show ever. Why?
