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3 October 2005

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi Oi Oi!!!

Aussie Suzuki rider Troy Corser has won the World Superbike Championship.

This is probably the first time someone has gone nine years between world titles. Congrats. Hopefully he can get a GP ride with Suzuki next year.

Congrats too, to aussie Honda rider Chris Vermeulen, who will almost certainly finish second in the championship. Word is that he will ride Troy Bayliss' Camel Honda at the Australian MotoGP race in a couple of weeks.


It's like watching a train wreck

Greens election candidate Thom Lyons' personality slowly uncurls, revealing his delusional, borderline-sociopathic psyche to the world.

Thom is still raging on usenet, apologising for Castro, refusing to believe that no opposition parties exist in Cuba, and going so far as to state that 'Cuban Mafia' hidden agendas lurk behind even the Encyclopedia Britannica's description of Cuba as a one-party state.

Here are some of his latest batch of stunners:

On Saddam Hussein:

Iraq had plenty of democracy but not the kind AWOL Bush wanted.


You assholes lie that Saddam held power by force, yet the truth is that he held power by the support of the 4 major clans whom he bribed with oil money and stocks. The Trikrity Clan and Saddam were powerless without their support. Now I certainly have a problem with buying votes but that oil money is what support the clan welfare system.

On Fidel as a legtimitately-elected head of state:

And if he'se a dictator how come he can be thrown out at any time. I know your an ignorant butthead so I'll educate you. Castro is just a figure head anymore. he'se great at
speech making and not bad at diplomacy but he lost alot of power on Feb. 24, 1976 when the new constitution was created and the National Assembly of the People's Power took over. It is run by the Council of States which has grass roots power.


The 499-member National Assembly of People's Power has all lawmaking power. Members are elected every five years by local elections . The Assembly elects a 31-member Council of State. If thats what you thinka dictatorship is then you have a really strange idea of what one is.

Cuba in many ways is more democratic than the USA but thats just a matter of size that substance. Its easier for people who are pissed off to be heard in a country of 11,270,000 than 285 million.


Its an unfortunate part of history that when a country goes so right wing and the poverty
is so bad, an extreme swing to the left occurs and is necessary to drag the people out of the depths of hell. Soviet Russian, Cina, Cuba are all examples of this.


unlike Howard and Bush at least he had the balls to actually put a rifle in his hand and fought for his country. That I respect.

When asked why he lied about exile opposition parties being allowed to participate in Cuban elections:

why don't you blow your own brains out?

On Castro crushing all political dissent:

who cares, the people don't, they have better lives, thats why they won't revolt. Living under the right wing was pure hell.

On his opposition to the Cuban people having free elections:

and why would they want to loose their freedom and give Cuba back to the multi-nationals? Why would a Cuban want to give up his land and work for 20 cents a day for United Fruit on the same land? How many times does his land have to be stolen before he reliazes just how evil the right wing is?

Here's his compassionate reaction to Castro's jailing of independent librarians:

Assault librarians, what a danger to national security.

When told that no legal opposition parties are allowed in Cuba, Thom displays his awesome powers of logic:

If they aren't allowed then how can they exist?

And last of all, he claims that Christian political prisoner Dr. Oscar Biscet got thrown in prison because he is a CIA Miami Mafia Buddhist agent. No, I'm not making this up. Thom knows this because a Vietnamese priest told him so. Not only that, but it was the Catholic church, not Castro, who wanted him jailed.

Oh, and he also claimed North Korea isn't a communist society, but the Vatican is.

It just isn't possible to parody these nuts anymore.


An old friend and a new acquaintance

Tested a couple of used motorbikes a few days ago.

First up, a Suzuki TLS (they didn't have a TLR). It was a red one with a set of Yoshimura stainless exhausts, which sounded dissappointingly tinny. It also didn't have a steering damper fitted (suzuki retrofitted them as part of a mass TLR recall in 1998).

The riding position is very head-down, bum-up, but not excessively so. The engine is a beauty, with a ton of that magic v-twin stomp.

The bike I borrowed had a problem with "grabby" front brakes so I couldn't push it that hard. Still, I did gain some idea about the machine. It has a stiffer chassis than the Honda VTR, and a smoother gearbox.

The front end felt vague, and I can see how stability would be an issue on rough roads or at high speeds, though I had no such problems myself. I wouldn't feel comfortable blasting this machine through a series of fast corners as it feels a little too tightly wound for comfort. It really needs to be mahandled to get it around a corner, and that's just not good enough, even for 1997.

Pity though, coz the engine is brilliant.

Then I revisited an old favourite for the first time in a long while: the Honda VTR1000.

My god, what a wonderful motorcycle. I'd forgotten just how much I love riding these things.

The sporty but very comfy ergonomics are a perfect balance between touring comfort and sport-riding.

The handling is very light, the bike very chuckable, and the suspension soaks up the bumps of Australia's crappy roads.

The engine had more punch than I remembered too, with that delicious magic mid-range stomp. It gave little away to the TLS in this regard, remarkable when you consider I was riding a stock-standard model with the factory restrictive exhausts.

And that beautiful engine note - the delicious rumbling v-twin growl that grows with the revs. Absolutely wonderful. And this was with the quiet-as-a-mouse standard exhausts. I can't wait to stick a set of Staintune exhausts on one, though it would probably kill wildlife at a thousand yards.

Of course, the gearbox is still crude, the suspension needs a little work, and the fuel consumption is appalling, but this is still simply one of the greatest roadbikes ever made.



Pay TV brought back unhappy memories last night. Legends of the Fall was playing.

Jesus, what a monumental turdsack of monkeyshit. Anyone who likes this movie should be beaten up.

Brad Pitt wanders around looking constipated. Anthony Hopkins looks like he's emerging from a crack bender. Julia Ormond is a weepy slut who spends the whole movie wishing she was married to the constipated guy. And some old Mohican called Stabby The Clown wanders around mumbling nonsensical narration: "Tristan was like a stone that fell into the water and saw the spirits", etc.

If someone gives you the DVD of this, use it as a coaster.


Sorry, I don't get it

Speaking of movies, I also finally watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Practically everyone on earth, including friends of mine whose taste I completely respect, wet themselves over how great this film was.

I thought it was crap. A typical Charlie Kaufman effort: lots of weirdness, mixed-up time scales, incoherent jump-cut editing, oddball cinematography and some funny lines.

For me, it was style over substance. I haven't seen such a visually aggravating movie since "Moulin Rouge" (though this movie was nowhere near as bad as that piece of shit).

The film had some sweet moments, some funny lines, the cast was good, but the self-conscious art-film wanking annoyed the hell out of me.

I can understand why so many people liked this movie, it's just that I can't.


A guest poster

Helena Handbasket (formerly a contributor to will be writing the odd guest post on this site from now on, so keep your eyes peeled.

Looking for older whackings?

Wanna see my previous rants against lefty, commie, peacenick wankers, plus lots of fun stuff about motorcycles, music and movies?................ Click here for the full past whackings index


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