The Dog's Tits
Live Whacking Archive
31 October 2006
Magic. Absolute bloody magic......
Congratulations Nicky Hayden, the 2006 MotoGP World Champion.
What an amazing turn of events. After the catastrophe of two weeks ago, the Kentucky Kid has dethroned the 5-time champion Valentino Rossi after the so-called "greatest rider of all time" made the worst mistake of his career and crashed. Hayden is only the 2nd rider in history to become world champ after being behind on points going into the final round.
Almost as amazing, Troy Bayliss winning his first ever Grand Prix in a one-off appearance for Ducati, two years after they fired him, and one year after being fired by Honda.
He also becomes the first World Superbike champion to win a GP race.
Amen brother :)
Naturally, the hordes of brain-dead Rossi fans - the most obnoxious, retarded assholes in the world of sport - are apopleptic with rage. They remind me of the Mark Latham cheerleaders after the 2004 election: after endless self-righteous boasting of how their guy was gonna make history and be at the right-hand of God, reality arrives and gives them a mighty kick in the gonads.
They simply cannot believe Rossi has lost...to an American! Rossi's inevitable title is gone. His "perfect record" is gone. He cannot any longer be remembered as an undefeated champion. He isn't going to be the only 990cc champion (MotoGP goes to 800cc next year). Why, it's just not fair dammit.
Excuses offered so far are:
- Hayden isn't a "real" champion because he didn't win as many races as Rossi.
I'm so chuffed. An American world champ, an Aussie race winner, and the Valentino hordes finally shutting the hell up.
Life is good.
Yes, I'm still alive, and I'll be back soon-ish
No, I haven't given up this website, and yes, my health is now OK.
Due to the various requirements of buying an apartment, and some extra responsibilities at work, I just haven't had the time or inclination to post.
I'm moving into my new home on November 14. I anticipate I'll be back regularly updating this site from some time in late November, once the whole moving-in phase is complete.
The whole buying-an-apartment process became more complicated than first anticipated. Everything was set for a couple of months ago, when we had to withdraw our offer thanks to a rather dodgy contract we were offered. Thankfully, we found another place almost immediately and everything has worked out with this one.
So, see you in a few weeks. Stay healthy.
God hates me
I'm probably sicker than I've been in my whole life. Got re-occurence of a staph infection in my leg, as well as a debilitating fever. And yes, this is a seperate ailment than the one I posted about on the 12th.
Back to posting when I eventually get better....whenever that is.
Name: Kangarooistan (AKA. The Old Man)
Main looney themes:
Good old Kanga-man turns out be be a sadcase from Adelaide named Malcolm Fabian, a "businessman" with his own mysterious website.
Here are some of Kanga's thought on Jews:
Nice guy. And these people wonder why their religion has an image problem.
Kanga is very big on "psyops". Here's his take on Mel Gibson's recent troubles:
Pretty much everything is the result of "psyops" by the Mossad, CIA, Halliburton, etc.
Kanga also warns of the catastrophic consequences of evil westerners. Here's his take on Somlian-born Dutch MP Ayaan Hirsi Ali:
I asked Kanga exactly which "innocent muslim babies" Ali had killed. Here is his response:
Er...yeah, whatever you say pal. Asked again for specfics, he just kept raving:
Kanga reckons Ali should be more like the ethical muslim hero Zacarias Moussaoui:
Of course, Kanga couldn't identify exactly which "wars" Ali had caused.
Still, he posted his information on the internet, which means it must be true.
Kanga's most amusing moment came when another poster faked Kanga's e-mail address to post spoof messages, Kanga went into this comically demented rant, explaining how someone posting spoof messages making fun of him would destroy Australia:
Seems a little thin-skinned for such a mighty Islamist crusader. Kanga took steps to assure us as to his fearsome toughness.....
Poor Kanga really is a few kebabs short of a halal feast. The collected thoughts of Kanga can be viewed here.
The next post in my series on Usenet nutters will be the incomparable "Jake McCrann".
I'm pretty wary of Woody Allen movies. Some are exercises in torture (Husbands and Wives) and I generally just get very quickly tired of his neurotic, whiny ass.
Sometimes he does good though. I recently caught up with Bullets over Broadway. It's a genuinely charming and extremely funny tale of playwrights, actors, gangsters and the nature of art.
Dianne Wiest steals the show as the boozy, seductive and over-the-hill actress. The rest of the cast kicks ass too, especially Jennifer Tilly as the gangster's-moll-cum-lousy-actress, who has the funniest death scene I've seen in a long while.
I won't give away the plot. Just watch it. It's worth your time.
Oooh, now that is pure car porn.
Still, at $1.3 million USD, it's still not much bang-for-buck. She is right tasty though....
Need for Speed: Most Wanted is a kick-ass PC driving game, even for those of us with no interest in cars.
Don't let the howlingly bad intro scenes put you off. Yes, these guys were probably taught how to act by Dolph Lundgen, but pretty soon all this embarrassing D-movie-bad-boy "bling bling" schtick goes away and the game gets down to business: car races and car chases, both around the fictional city of Rockport.
The goal is to beat the 15 "blacklist" racers of Rockport one at a time. And you can only race them once you've completed various goals for each of them: a combo of winning street races, evading police pursuits, and solo races against the clock. Winning races gets you money, which buys you performance parts and/or better cars.
You start off with a shitty cheap car, which - as you win races - you can customise into a hardcore race rocket, and you can buybetter cars with your winnings.
The police chases are the real highlight. It feels like you're in your own episode of Worlds Wildest Police Videos. You hear the police over the radio, the music plays and the action is incredibly frantic. The the longer you evade their chases, the more help they get in, and the more "bounty" points you get. Your "heat" level also goes up, which means the cops will be harder to evade.
Of course, it aint perfect. The difficulty of the pursuits seems to multiply exponentially in the later stages of the game, and a lot of the exotica really aren't much fun to drive (the Lamborghinis and the Aston Martin are a waste of space).
Still, if you like car racing games, or just love to laugh at really bad actors, NFSMW comes highly recommended.
Went on a motorbike ride to Tathra last weekend, where I ate junk food and drank bourbon.
Tathra has one of the most beautiful, quiet beaches on earth. Here's a pic I took a couple of years ago:
If I was ever terminally ill and going to commit suicide, I'd take a folding chair, a bottle of bourbon and a stack of sleeping pills to this beach at sundown. There simply could not be a better way to go.
I posted about soup a while back. mmmmmmm.....soup
Anyhow, here's some responses I got from other soup-loving folks
First, Jennifer Clark gives her $0.02...
'Waylon Smithers' has somewhat more...er.....downmarket tastes:
This would still actually be better than some of the so-called "soups" around the traps....
The Great Bernie Slattery has some thoughts on the matter as well:
He's a man of high culture our Bernie.
Immaculate Emily sent in a great looking recipies for red and yellow pepper soups. I hate capsicums (as they're known here), but I hate peas in their natural form as well, and they make killer soup. If anyone wants these recipies, send me an e-mail to tex<at>whackingday<dot>com. They look pretty bloody good.
'Waylon Smithers', having perhaps decided that his "hobo soup" wasn't the be all and end-all of soup cuisine, sent this:
I sense a soups-n-farting theme here.
Andrew Collins sent this fine e-mail:
If anyone else has some soup thoughts, send me an e-mail....
Thanks to reader Dan who sent through this...er...inspiring photo of Resistance HQ in Newcastle.
Nice to know the unwashed kiddies are such big fans of the mass-murdering, fascist cunt. Gotta love those leftist morals.
8 August 2006
Another delay folks
I worked late tonight, and I've got the fucking censius form to fill out, so no real posts until tomorrow at least.
7 August 2006
Can't do my intended update tonight as promised, as I spent the evening out ingesting steak & beer. Back tomorrow.
3 August 2006
Dang, I suppose I'd better start posting again. I didn't intend to take a break from updating this site. I just never got around to writing anything. No particular reason. I have been playing a lot of computer games, which I'll get to later.
I'll be posting again on Monday night, with a lengthy look at some amusing Usenet lunatics I've been tormenting. Some of these people make Thom Lyons look sane. Yes, it's that good.
Also, there'll be an update to my soup post, a DVD review, some PC game reviews, and some other random stuff.
Have a nice weekend, y'all......
During my blogging absence, Israel has finally struck back with a decent amount of force against the never-endless attempts of homicidal islamic slaughter-monkeys to exterminate the Jewish state.
Well, I gotta tell you folks, I feel nothing but glee at seeing those jihadist bastards killed by the hundreds.
Fuck the dirty terrorist bastards. Fuck their supporters. Fuck their blubbering, lying asshole apologists in the west.
If anything, Israel is being far too restrained. No other country in the history of human civilisation has shown such humanity and self-control in the face of endless genocidal hatred.
Personally, I hope this gets ugly. I hope every hizbollah-boosting mosque in Lebanon gets fire-bombed. I hope every house belonging to these jihadist shitheads gets bulldozed. Every city district which hides them should get flattened. For every Hizbollah rocket fired into Israel, fire ten thousand of the fucking things into Lebanon. Give the Syrians and Iranians a clear message: stop helping Hizbollah, or we'll do the same to you.
Time to stop pissing about with these dirty islamic savages, and talk to them in a language they understand. Then maybe, just maybe, those useless prehistoric savages will get the notion that it's time to join the rest of the human race in the 21st century. Because the only other way there will be peace in the middle east, is if all the islamists are dead.
Either way works for me.
Thom Lyons update
For those wondering about the lying, deranged ex-greens candidate Thom Lyons, here's an update....
1- I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear that his demented legal threats have amounted to zero.
I've just bought an apartment. Should be moving in about 5-6 weeks from now once the endless mountain of paperwork has been dealt with.
Of course, according to lefty social commentator retards like Ross Gittins and Clive Hamilton, owning my own home will make me miserable, or something.....
This is my wonderful Catrike Speed.
It has some differences to the stock model. For starters, the awful standard SRAM twist-shifters were pissed off in favour of Dura-Ace bar-end shifters, which actually work.
In the photo, you can see the drinking tube, which is attached to the 2.5 litre bladder which is strapped to the back seat. A very nifty system. The bottle cage you see on the main boom isn't for a water bottle. It's to hold the battery for the mega-powerful Cygolite.
I also swapped the dorky safety flag for a Canberra Raiders item. If I'm riding on Canberra's many bike paths, I don't bother with it, but I always use it when road riding.
Why ride a trike? Two words: fun and comfort.
It aint perfect though. This Green Cat has almost zero ground clearance, and riding on bumpy surfaces is not fun. The suspended headrest is shit. It wobbles horizontally as well as the intended suspended vertical action. This leaves the headrest permanently at an annoying diagonal angle. Poor design fellas. The foam covering is so pissweak it broke after a dozen rides and slid off the stem. Grrrr.
You get a ton of derailleur noise, which will drive some people nuts. I got used to it, but you need to be aware of it before spending your money on any trike.
Other bits on it are Shimano MD520 "clipless" pedals and a luggage rack. A Sigma BC1200 computer is attached on the left-side handlebar. Finding a place to attach the sensor was an engineering challenge in itself.
I'm not into cars. They hold almost zero interest for me. The simple fact is, that when it comes to performance-bang for bucks, bikes simply leave cars for dead. The Suzuki Hayabusa is now a seven year old design, yet in stock trim, with no modifications whatsoever, it is faster than any production car on earth. In a recent TV test, the tiny Triumph Daytona 675 humbled a customised Porsche.
Still, If I had some serious money to spend, there are some vehicles I would love to get my hands on. They still won't be as fast as the fastest bikes, but they would no doubt leave me a drooling, incoherent and blissfully happy mess.
Here are the only cars in existence I would not instantly trade in for a bunch of motorbikes
Quite simply, the sexiest four-wheeled vehicle ever built.
Aston Martin DB9
I come across one on my morning commute several times a week. My god. That thing is just sex on wheels.
Italy's bike designers may have lost their fucking minds in recent years, but goddamn they know how to make beautiful cars.
Ahhh, I love the smell of scorched jihadist in the morning!
Mwahahaha. Your dreams of an islamic caliphate where brave muslim warriors stone their wives to death and fuck their donkeys on weekends never came to pass did it?
I'm sure my readers will be shocked to hear that internet clowns the world over are not reacting well....
Hehehe. Poor little dandelions, seeing their hero take a rocket up the cornhole.
Now if you'll excuse me, me and my transsexual pig Ummah are off to have some bacon and vodka.....
Remember muslim USENET nutjob Kangarooistan?
Here's his opinion on the arrest of muslim terrorists in Canada:
Snerk. Yeah, it's real easy to "trick" someone into ordering three tons of fertilizer. Fear not, our islamist nutcase has an explanation:
But wait, there's more!
Ah yes, must be one of those ZionJewboy Psyop operations.
So says George Monbiot, who considers buying a house to be "selfishness".
Georgie demands immediate government action to stop this evil home-buying!
Read the rest, it really has to be seen to be believed. It's a stunning display of near psychotic idiocy.
Ann Coulter - who's mental powers rival those of Thom Lyons - thinks people who don't love Jesus have very unscientific minds...
Oddly enough, bimbo-girl doesn't seem to like science when it upsets her creationist beliefs:
Be grateful kiddies: you won't see genius like this again outside of a Paris Hilton home video.
Henry Gomez over at Val Prieto's blog got to meet a true hero - Felix Ismael Rodriguez - the man who captured the filthy commie mass-murdering cunt Che Guevara, who was then rightfully shot and shoved six feet under, where his rotting corpse belongs.
In the unlikely event Senor Rodriguez and I ever meet, I'm buying the guy a few thousand beers.
And just for the fun of it, here's Che's stinky corpse on a slab:
Paul Sheehan excoriates the recently-croaked lawyer John Marsden. The world is truly richer having lost him.
Let's face it, the Swedes are pretty much screwed, wouldn't you say?
A perfect example of what happens when large-scale muslim immigration meets the cuddly welfare state.
Other than pizza, one of my great food loves, especially in winter, is a nice hot bowl of soup.
I'm actually pretty picky when it comes to soup. I loathe many common varieties of the stuff, especially anything which involves pumpkin, mushrooms, carrots and those horrid so-called 'soups' where you get a bowl of what is basically clear hot water with bloody vegetables floating in it.
My favoured soups:
Thick pea & ham soup. Gotta be sludge-like, and served piping hot. My dad actually makes the best pea & ham soup on the planet. Shredded-toast croutons are optional. Better is breaking pieces off a french bread loaf and dunking it. Yummmmm. Best of all is the legendary South Australian treat, the pie floater. Anyone who doesn't like pie floaters is a fuckin' commie. The funny thing is I hate peas. Go figure.
Chicken & Sweet Corn soup. Chinese restaurants in Australia have this one down pat. Perfect as an appetizer or on its own.
(Various permutations of) crab soup. Can be with sweet corn, on its own, with chicken or other white-meat seafood. Must be boiling hot and thick with crab meat.
"Cheap" chicken noodle soup. I'm talking about the stuff you buy for 99 cents in a small packet. I'm a sucker for this stuff, and it's a life-preserver when you have the flu. In fact, during a horrendous bout of the flu back in 1998, when I lost most of my sense of tatse, this was the only stuff I could eat.
"Proper" chicken noodle soup. again, my dad makes a killer version of this. A lovely flavourful broth, in a big-ass bowl chock-full of thin noodles and chicken bits. Mmmmmmm.
So, those are my favoured soups. What are yours? Email me at tex*at*whackingday*dot*com. Recipies for fine soups are welcome.
Richard Neville is back, telling us the Iranian Prez is one interesting guy:
Ingenious and nutty. Er, OK Dick. There's also this bewildering photo ....
He's not getting prettier with age.
Lovely. Can't imagine why islam has an image problem, can you?
Jewish groups, in turn, are urging a counter-boycott.
I highly urge readers of all sexes to purchase as many Estée Lauder products as they can. This includes the following brands:
Estée Lauder, Clinique, Aramis, Lab Series, Prescriptives, Bobbi Brown, MAC, Origins, La Mer, Aveda, Jo Malone, and others as listed on this page.
No reason we can't fight anti-Semitism and look good doing it And look for the Lauder logo in our "Brave Multinationals" section to the right side of this page.
The terrorist-loving panic monkey brings us some sinister news about them wicked Israelis: they're the biggest source for Google searches on 'zionism'. Egad!
I thought I'd contribute to Anthony's fearless research. Here are some other google trends....
Egypt is the biggest source for Osama searches.
Not to worry, Antony will find some way of blaming these all on 'zionists'.
Poor fellow thinks Paul Keating could be Labor's saviour.
Um yeah. Labor really needs to lose another election......
Some topics raised by readers for me to comment on:
What happened to Thom Lyons?
He finally decided to shut up. He hasn't been seen on USENET since Feburary 3rd, and (surprise, surprise) I still haven't been sued or arrested.
What do you think of George Clooney?
Good actor who somehow managed to build a decent career after years of shit acting and shit movies. Thankfully, he dropped his one-note acting style of bobbing his head and rolling his eyes.
I don't particularly care if he's a lefty. I mean, he's hardly a psycho like Vanessa Redgrave or this cunt.
How are you enjoying your trike?
Some of the best dinero I've ever spent. It's more comfortable than most lounge chairs, which alone reduces fatigue by about 50%. You also you get a great view instead of looking down at the pavement. It's easy to keep up a decent cadence for long periods, and it's wicked fun downhill.
If you enjoy cycling, you simply must try a trike.
Downsides? Fuck-all ground clearance. You have to be very careful riding up driveways, or over large bumps as the bottom tube will scrape. Absolute pain in the arse, especially when the metal tab on the chain pulley gets forced backwards and grinds against the chain. This is definitely a smooth-surface-only machine.
The trike wasn't assembled properly by the dealer either. The rear gear cable was routed so that it rubbed against the chain, the front duraillieur was wrongly positioned, the tyres were only half-inflated and the bloody right wheel wasn't fastened up. Grrrr.
I'll be doing a post on my Catrike and my Scott Sub10 shortly.
I'd like to suggest that you
keep an updated list of "Tex Truths" as a "Tex Truth of the Day" style
Hmmmm....not a bad idea.
I AM ENGR. CHUKWU DOUGLAS ONE OF THE DIRECTOR,S OFNIGERIA NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION [NNPC].IT IS TRUE WE HAVE NOT MET BEFORE BUT SINCERE HONESTY ANDTRUSTWORTHYNESS IS LIFE,THAT IS WHY I DECIDED TO CONTACT YO WITH A BUSINESS PROPOSAL THAT WILL BE OF MUTUAL BENFIT TO ALL OF US.
Sounds great! I can be contacted here.
More 'reader power' later.
Have any of my readers built a rear wheel with a SRAM 3-speed hub? If so, can you let me know how it went. How difficult was it to set up? How easy is the shifting? Do you find yourself using the extra gear range? How much efficiency loss is there?
My e-mail addy is tex<*at*>whackingday<*dot*>com.
Gee, the "greatest rider of all time" doesn't seem to be doing too well at the moment. It's amusing watching the brain-dead Rossi hoardes contort themselves into coming up with new excuses every week (Rossi, is of course, the only rider in history to be affected by less-than-perfect bikes and tyres. Snort).
One question to them: shouldn't "the greatest rider of all time" be able to tell the difference between the front and back tyres?
In reporting on the Beaconsfield mine saga, the media has used the following phrase to death:
"Uncertain future", as in 'this mining town faces an uncertain future'.
The future is, by definition, uncertain. You know why? Because it's in the future.
Uber-nutjob George Monbiot is still freaking out about airplanes.
Yet another thing Moonbat wants to ban. So far he's demanded a halt to motor vehicles, private property, guns, hunting, junk food, advertising, capitalism, biofuels, eating meat, supermarkets, genetic engineering and the Disney corporation.
So, no property, travel, entertainment or decent food. Sounds wonderful.
Go here, and read the letter at the bottom of the page.
What a fucking spazznugget.
A tribute to May Day
I generally don't do news commentary, mostly because other people do it a lot better, and I find it boring to write.
Still, I'm thinking of doing an omnibus post with one-paragraph (or thereabouts) entries about various topics of the day, or questions people might like to put to me.
So, here's your chance bwana: if there's something you wanna hear my opinion on, or question you wanna ask me, send me an e-mail at tex<at>whackingday<dot>com.
Come to think of it, it doesn't even need to be about news or current events. Any old subject will do.
Operation 'Allah's Icepick' - Iran to bomb Antarctica
Muslim USENET genius 'Kangarooistan' outlines the Iranians' ingenious plan to crush the west.....
Bwahahaha. Let the infidels soak!
Mr. Kangaroo has been thinking deeply on other important issues, including the question that has been vexing muslims for centuries: how do you take a shit in space?
Who says Islam isn't moving with the times? The weightless turds shall be liberated!
Daily Mirror weasel Brian Reade doesn't like American tourists:
Hate to get stuck in an elevator with this gimp.
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