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Live Whacking Archive
click "Live Whacking" button for the latest entries

8 November 2004

First prize in the lottery from hell

Boy, this sure looks tempting, don't it?: "Win tickets to see Tony Benn"

Um, yay.



Is this the Photo of The Year?


The Religion of Peace

'Murder is normal'.

The future of multiculturalism in the Netherlands looks bright....


When friends go nuts

Paul of Montreal has a rather interesting online political conversation with an old high school friend.

The conversation reminds me of the Kiwis I stayed with at Phillip Island last month.


Rethinking the scooter

Just an update on my Vespa review: it turns out most 4-stroke scooters need a service every 3,000kms. Obviously, this impacts the cost-benefit equation. Two-stroke scooters by contrast only need a major service every 25,000kms, though obviously they use more fuel and you have to mix in two-stroke oil. Production of two-stroke scooter has pretty much finished around the world thanks to new EU emission laws. Pity, as they were cheap, light and powerful engine.

Scooters are still darn cheap transport (particularly if you don't want a top-of-the-line model like the one I rode), but it's best to know about the costs before making your decision.

A cheaper alternative to the Vespa is the Gilera Runner, which uses the same excellent engine, but is lighter and better handling in addition to being around $800 cheaper. Not as stylish or comfortable though.


6 November 2004

Quote of the day

Shoplifting is a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark.

- Nelson Muntz


Hurry up and die already

Yasser "fish face" Arafat is still breathing apparently. Naturally, the idiot French are doing their best to keep this mass-murdering thug alive. Still no word on exactly what he's suffering from.

I'm sure its nothing a sniper rifle couldn't solve.



Tex's 2004 blog awards: just like the Adult Video Awards, only less interesting

Best blog of them all: Little Green Footballs

Best solo blogger: Charles Johnson at Little Green Footballs

Best oz blogger: Tim Blair

Best cranky old right-wing geezer: Kim Du Toit

Best chick: Michele Catalano

Best essay-style blogger: Belmont Club

Highest IQ: the very appropriately named Alan E. Brain

The "really needs to start posting more coz she rocks" award: Emily Jones

The no-particular-reason-to-give-the-award award: Yobbo

Best newbie: Currency Lad


31 things I will do when I am dictator of Australia

1: Slash all tax rates by 40%, except superannuation tax which will be scrapped completely.
2: Stop funding all arts, sport and multicultural programs.
3: Remove cross media laws and local content restrictions for TV channels.
4: Anyone earning more than $25,000 must use private health insurance.
5: Allow homeowners to use deadly force on intruders.
6: Gun ownership will be considered a right, not a priviledge to anyone without a criminal record. Allow the concealed carry of handguns and the wearing of bullet-proof vests. Firearm safety courses shall be offered to all children in school.
7: Decriminalise all drugs.
8: Scrap all defamation, anti-discrimination and anti-vilification laws.
9: Abolish the OFLC.
10: Make proficiency in the English language to be a requirement for residency & citizenship.
11: Reduce immigration from Islamic countries.
12: Privatise Telstra.
13: Raise speed limits on interstate roads from 100kph to 130kph.
14: Stop funding the ABC and SBS.
15: Raise HECS by 50%. Offer a free university degree to anyone who joins the Army Reserve.
16: Defence: offer incentives for the young'uns to become Army reservists. Free university degree & their own automatic weapon at home.
17: Scrap all import tariffs and all industry subsidies.
18: Make a national proclamation that "Soccer is shit".
19: Footpath parking for motorcycles, anywhere in Australia.
20: 'Three strikes' law for violent offenders.
21: Scrap all funding for interstate rail.
22: Abolish all "money for having children" payments.
23: Employers shall be able to sack any worker, at any time, for any reason.
24: Put competent security staff at airports, and encourage them to use racial profiling where necessary.
25: Remove all smoking bans from pubs, clubs and restaurants.
26: All laws regarding abortion to be scrapped.
27: Gay marriage and adoption to be allowed.
28: Anyone who has suffered injury through stupid or criminal acts will not be allowed to sue for damages. Nor will people who have injured themslves by not paying due care & attention to their activities.
29: Judges will enforce laws, not invent their own.
30: Scrap all regulations on gambling & liquor licencing.
31: All competition laws to be scrapped.



Saying it again, because I feel like it

Maria Sharapova is hot.


Another list of Tex truths

1: There is no moral difference between communism and nazism.

2: There is no moral difference between idolising Che Guevara and idolising Hitler.

3: Anyone who doesn't consider Yasser Arafat a mass-murderer is an idiot.

4: 95% of people who drive Subaru WRXs are dickheads.

5: I will never visit the third-world shithole known as Africa.

6: Terrorists are not freedom fighters. They are murderers. We do not need to negotiate them. We do not need to understand them. We just need to kill them.

7: We are not moving slowly toward fascism. We are not going to become "the 51st state of the USA". Our democracy is not under threat because the coalition happened to win the election. We are not becoming a racist, xenophobic society.... The delusions of lefty losers have little relation to reality.

8: Contrary to the beliefs of very stupid people, Rupert Murdoch, Kerry Packer and radio talk show hosts do not decide the outcome of elections.

9: Capitalist democracy is morally superior to all other forms of soceity.

10: 'American foreign policy' did not cause 9/11. Muslim terrorists did.

11: France is a moral sewer. Probably because anyone in France with any brains got beheaded during the revolution.

12: Gay marriage is not going to cause the destruction of the family unit, so get over it already.


4 November 2004

The news gets better and better

Mass murderer Yasser Arafat is in a coma. I hope I wake up to happy news tomorrow.

(Via Damian)


"U.S. Election disaster"

The losers at The Daily Moron are enraged:

Here's the editorial screech by Brian Reade:


THEY say that in life you get what you deserve. Well, today America has deservedly got a lawless cowboy to lead them further into carnage and isolation and the unreserved contempt of most of the rest of the world.


This should have been the day when Americans finally answered their critics by raising their eyes from their own sidewalks and looking outward towards the rest of humanity.

And for a few hours early yesterday, when the exit polls predicted a John Kerry victory, it seemed they had.

But then the horrible, inevitable truth hit home. They had somehow managed to re-elect the most devious, blinkered and reckless leader ever put before them. The Yellow Rogue of Texas.

A self-serving, dim-witted, draft-dodging, gung-ho little rich boy, whose idea of courage is to yell: "I feel good," as he unleashes an awesome fury which slaughters 100,000 innocents for no other reason than greed and vanity.

A dangerous chameleon, his charming exterior provides cover for a power-crazed clique of Doctor Strangeloves whose goal is to increase America's grip on the world's economies and natural resources.


There's only one headline in town today, folks: "It Was Osama Wot Won It."

And soon he'll expect pay-back. Well, he can't allow Bush to have his folks whoopin' and a-hollerin' without his own getting a share of the fun, can he?

Heck, guys, I hope you're feeling proud today.

To the tens of millions who voted for John Kerry, my commiserations.

To the overwhelming majority of you who didn't, I simply ask: Have you learnt nothing? Do you despise your own image that much?

Do you care so little about the world beyond your shores? How could you do this to yourselves?

How appalling must one man's record at home and abroad be for you to reject him?


America has chosen a menacingly immature buffoon who likened the pursuit of the 9/11 terrorists to a Wild West, Wanted Dead or Alive man-hunt and, during the Afghanistan war, kept a baseball scorecard in his drawer, notching up hits when news came through of enemy deaths.

A RADICAL Christian fanatic who decided the world was made up of the forces of good and evil, who invented a war on terror, and thus as author of it, believed he had the right to set the rules of engagement.


You have to feel sorry for the millions of Yanks in the big cities like New York, Washington, Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles and San Francisco who voted to kick him out.

These are the sophisticated side of the electorate who recognise a gibbon when they see one.

As for the ones who put him in, across the Bible Belt and the South, us outsiders can only feel pity.

Were I a Kerry voter, though, I'd feel deep anger, not only at them returning Bush to power, but for allowing the outside world to lump us all into the same category of moronic muppets.

The self-righteous, gun-totin', military lovin', sister marryin', abortion-hatin', gay-loathin', foreigner-despisin', non-passport ownin' red-necks, who believe God gave America the biggest dick in the world so it could urinate on the rest of us and make their land "free and strong".


Today is a sad day for the world, but it's even sadder for the millions of intelligent Americans embarrassed by a gung-ho leader and backed by a banal electorate, half of whom still believe Saddam Hussein was behind 9/11.

Yanks had the chance to show the world a better way this week, instead they made a thuggish cowboy ride off into the sunset bathed in glory.

And in doing so it brought Armageddon that little bit closer and re-christened their beloved nation The Home Of The Knave and the Land Of The Freak.

God Help America.

Quick, somebody fetch Brian a douchebag. Stat!


A Californian swing voter speaks up

My good friend Steve in Los Angeles is an interesting fellow. A Gore voter in 2000, he regarded Dubya as little more than a spoiled buffoon. Like many people, his priorities changed after September 11, 2001. On Monday in his livejournal, he wrote this excellent piece:

Tomorrow at 9:30am I will be in line to vote for George Bush as President of the United States of America.

Through out the day the people I have recruited, convinced or cajoled will be doing the same, even though California is predicted to go for John Kerry. You never know how many other people managed to convince someone to cross party lines, or go from undecided to Bush.

I have never voted Republican in a Presidential election. I voted against George Bush in 2000.

Tomorrow I will vote for him, because he is the right man to lead our war on the Islamic jihad that has been declared against us. He is the right man because he will make the tough choices. He is the right man because he will not allow the corrupt and venal United Nations to stop us from doing what is right. He is the right man because he sees that our former allies, France, Germany and Russia have sold the collective souls of their nations in pursuit of greed, graft and their fading influence on the world stage.

As a nation we will not go the way of Spain and surrender ourselves to a leader who will try to purchase peace at any costs. John Kerry would seek that peace and drag our country down, down, until the jahadis could at last grasp our thoat and choke the life from us.

I predict that we will not let terror rule us. Instead we will vote to keep a man who has proven he will not give in to lies, fear and despair

Tomorrow night I expect to see George Bush stand at a podium and declare that as President he will stay the course. That as a nation we will promote peace, democracy and freedom through out the world.

That is how I will know that my vote counted.




Some people are not happy about Bush being re-elected:

- Niall Cook is whinging:

It's perverse. How any nation which calls itself democratic can operate under such a fragmented and diverse electoral system defies rationality.

Like all lefties, Niall considers any electoral system to be corrupt if the wrong people get elected. Funny he'd even care, considering he'd criticised EvilPundit for posting a pro-Bush opinion:

The above brought to you by an Australian, with no firm ties to the American political scene, no personal experience of present day life in America, no vested interest in the outcome of the US Presidential election, no intimate knowledge of either of the proponents apart from what he reads, in the doubtlessly Republican-biased media and clearly no understanding of the potentials of either candidate winning.

Niall will no doubt tell us about his own "firm ties to the American political scene", his own "personal experience of present day life in America", his own "vested interest in the outcome of the US Presidential election" and his immense "intimate knowledge of either of the proponents" that authorises him to spout his endless juvenile gibberish about the USA.

- The Islamic Sydney folks aren't happy either:

omggggg did bush win? no wayyyyyyyy i bet he tried anything to win. I doubt it was an ethical election. I'm sure there must have been electoral fraud involved.

Despite all the efforts and campaign, Bush won and it somehow indicates the social nexus of the American society. They are at their final stage of social and moral nihilism, protected by constitutional dictatorship.

I just can't stand Bush. And then seeing that smug look on his face when he found himself winning The man is an evil kaffir, murderer, uuurrgghhhhhh Hate him!!

He is losin the battle in IRAQ and ironically UNITING MUSLIMS in the process for ONCE ARABS TURKS and all muslims wanted KERRY!! NO lets use this to unite the ummah and make the ISLAMIC STATES!!

- I'm keen to see what Michael Moore will say in his next update. Here was his last one:

I’ve been getting early tracking results from across the country and things are looking good – very good.

Looks like this election has gone the same way as 'payback Tuesday', eh Mikey?

- As usual, the folks at the "your say" sections of the SMH and The Age provide the best entertainment:

The Americans have the right to vote for the leader they wish. Surely as citizen of the world we have the right to vote for the 'Leader of the Free World'. If that was the case then the outcome may have been different

Stupid people behind picket fences and barbed wire fences voted for these stupid leaders. Ban the likes of Howard and Bush from our big inner cities. We didn't vote for them.

I think they dont know how hated they are.They are known to be strong with armies but can't admit anything that happens that they did worng.

White supremacy is alive and well and the plebs want it that way. Watch Blair get re-elected as well when the death toll in Iraq climbs to 150,000 or 200,000 and the middle east totally erupts in chaos. These three fools and their stupid nations will say "see you have to re-elect us 'cause only we can save you from this mess", except they have created it and we in the great unwashed heartlands and so cruel and selfish we refuse to see the "untermenschen", the under people. It's a sad and shocking day when these two ride triumphalant over their dumbed and dumber populations.

Its a sad outcome for the world. Obviously Americans never saw "farenhiet 911".

U.S.Oil! U.S.Oil! U.S.Oil!

The majority of people in both these countries are amoral and ignorant, features that are exacerbated by a subservient mass media which play the tune of their paymasters. Stupidity, ignorance, apathy and amorality never pay in the long-run...hence the bloodshed will continue in iraq and elsewhere.

Opinions are like arseholes, everyone has got one.. Just so happens Australia and America re-elected ones to the top job!!

So it was the Pentecostal and Born Again Christians who brought Howard and Bush to power, it has nothing to do with popularity, but everything to do with evangilism, and biggotry.

It is the same situation as Australia. People are inherently selfish and cannot see beyond themselves nor beyond the next day. They are easily cowed and bow to mob rule.

Three words: Stupid beyond belief.

Those rednecks deserve the leader they got.

When God and Corporate America stand shoulder to shoulder who could stand in their way? But seriously folks, when you have a group of people a large percentage of whom believe the planet was created in 7 days it doesn't take a miracle for the Washington evaneglists to convince them to come unto George.

If more people listened to people like Arundhati Roy then perhaps they might be able to break out of their four walls of ignorance. But unfortunately, I can only assume that Bush and Howard voters have never heard of her.

And the winner is.....He with the most damaging PROPAGANDA!!!!

Happy-Clappy Christian hicks in middle America voted for the 'Holy War' in the Middle East.

The majority of Americans (and Australians, for that matter) have always had a deep distrust of anyone displaying intelligence or education. They want someone more like themselves - stupid.

Dumbocracy, freedum, Truth, the AmeriKKKan way. You know you want it.

Bush and Howard won because they were successful in brainwasing the majority of people towards their sick view of the world. This was achieved using private propoganda machines such as those run by murdoch and packer.

Over half of Americans aren't free, they're trapped by there own ignorance. The minority that understand that Iraq is more than a video game and culture means more than red rooster, are surrounded by those idiots.

I've come to the conclusion that Americans are just deeply insane.

The majority of our two countries are brainwashed tv junkies.

Now it's clear, the problem is not with any individual leader (be it Bush or Kerry), but with the majority of the American people. They accept Bush, and they should also accept whatever that comes with him.

who would have lost if the whole world got to vote instead of a privileged minority?

It doesn't seemright that the safety and commonsense of the world can be chosen by a small group of uneducated, mis-informed rednecks who probably don't even have a passport and don't understand anything past the next US state. Given the devastation casueed by Bush all that Howard has succumbed to, it seems only fair that Australians be allowed tovote in the US elections.

They won through lying, fear mongering and let's face it, Americans have never been known to be the sharpest tools in the shed.

The US and Australia have essentially re-elected 2 war criminals. This is the begining of the end for western civilisation

America and Israel, have weapons of mass destruction; believe god is exlusively on their side; are only in it for themselves. Why do we have doplomatic relations with these monsters?

'Doplomatic' relations? Heh.


A question for my motorcyclist readers

I'm looking for recommendation for my next set of sportsbike tyres. I don't want full-on soft supersport tyres, but I don't like sports-touring ones either. Here are the sportsbike tyres I've tried:

Metzeler M1 Sportec
Pirelli Diablo
Bridgestone BT12/19
Michelin Pilot Sport
Michelin Pilot Power

The Sportecs are my favourite out of this lot. Any other ideas?

2 November 2004

Oh lord, please let this be true...

Yasser Arafat may have AIDS.


USA election

I hope Bush wins, if for no other reason than the lefties here and in Europe will go utterly insane with rage. How delicious would that be?


Wonderful News

The following message has been posted on Joe Vialls' website:

My father Joe Vialls is seriously ill at present. If your
email contains critical intelligence, please resend in
three weeks time. If you email is only comment, please
do not send any more for three months. Thank you.

Critical intelligence. Heh. Anyway, it couldn't happen to a nicer bloke.

I'm half-hoping Joe recovers so we can read whatever nutjob theory he has over his illness. I'll wager it'll be something like "North Korean Zionist agents used plutonium cloud seeding to poison the crops which make my cereal. They have done this to silence me, as they know I am the only investigator brave enough to seek The Truth about the Worldwide Secret Jewish Government".



I won $20 in the Melbourne Cup sweeps at work today (the horse I was assigned came 3rd).

For the 4th time since 1982, I actually picked the winner. Didn't bet on him though.

Actually, I couldn't give a fuck about horse racing, which ranks with basketball & golf as the world's dullest sport. It's just an interesting once-a-year exercise in trying to pick a winner.


A convergence of idiots

The Green Left Weekly is organising a protest outside Parliament House on November 16 - — the day parliament opens.

According to our idiot green friends, "This will be the first opportunity to come together in a national protest against the newly elected Coalition government."

I love this. They're not protesting anything other than the fact the government has been reelected in a free, democratic election. Unsurprisingly, Bob Brown will be speaking at the event.

Hey folks, this isn't Cuba. In this country, people are actually free to ignore you and vote for who they like. Now sod off back to Nimbin.



Speaking of greenie idiots, here's another one.....

You've heard the stories; you've seen the trailer, now demand to see it on your local movie screen! Out-Foxed provides an in-depth look at the dangers of ever-enlarging corporations taking control of the public's right to know (<>).

I urge readers of Green Left Weekly to write to Hoyts, Village and other smaller cinema chains demanding that Out-Foxed be shown. We live in a democracy; we must not accept this blatant act of totalitarianism. No matter what your political beliefs are, it is vital that our cinemas remain open to diverse, informative movies including those which may be considered controversial.

Together we can make a difference.

Madeleine Cahill

Dear Madeline, the fact that a private company has no wish to lose money in pandering to the minority viewing interests of a bunch of sad losers is not "totalitarianism", it's called freedom of choice. Nobody else has an obligation to spend their money on your loser-ass pastimes.


31 October 2004

Quote of the day

"Fuck you, Santa!"

- The Sopranos



There are certain groups in the world which right now are working towards the goal of wiping out a major American city with a nuclear bomb.

Given this fact, isn't it a relief to see how the Department of Homeland Security is spending its time?

Christ almighty....


Happy Happy, Joy Joy!!

A happy birthday to my friend and uberchick Cantinera.

Cantinera always wants lots of mail to tell her how much she rocks. Send some to me at tex <at> and I'll forward it to her.



Me and my transexual pigs (Ummah and Osama) were doing some quiet web-browsing when we happened upon the friendly, helpful website of Hamas Online. My weekend is complete.

I was rather impressed with their collection of touching poetry. I really liked the "Mohammed-al-Durra" effort...

Sitting like captives in their own land,
Neither a stone nor a gun in their hand.
Barbaric zionist aimed and pleasure sought,
Pulling the trigger, aiming at the child, shot.

The bullet hit the father’s protecting arm,
The blood poured forth, red and warm.
A zionist soldier with a heart of stone,
Fired, ripping the father’s pelvic bone.

The next shot hit the child’s abdomen,
He slumped dying in arms of his dad.
‘Save me, save me, for love of Allah,’
‘They don’t’ shoot children,’ you said.

The child lay splashed in blood, dead,
From his ripped guts he had bled.
‘From his blood will a new Nation rise and stand,’
The mother wailed, ‘My son’s death is life for our land.’

I guess no one told them that Mohammed-al-Durra was actually murdered by Palestinians. Not that truth and the Palestinian cause ever have much to do with one another.

Anyway, enough of that, let's go back to see what else the child-murdering Hamas monkeys have to offer. Hey, how about a martyrdom poem?

Dear mothers, have courage as we hurl our stones!
Dear mothers, have patience when our bodies come home!”

With rocks in their hands and Jihad on their lips,
Our youth are defending Al-Aqsa Masjid

With their blood, and their lives as supreme sacrifice!
May Allah welcome them in the highest Paradise!

Nice. Enough poetry, how about a look at the Hamas Covenant?

The Islamic Resistance Movement believes that the land of Palestine is an Islamic Waqf consecrated for future Muslim generations until Judgement Day. It, or any part of it, should not be squandered: it, or any part of it, should not be given up. Neither a single Arab country nor all Arab countries, neither any king or president, nor all the kings and presidents, neither any organization nor all of them, be they Palestinian or Arab, possess the right to do that. Palestine is an Islamic Waqf land consecrated for Muslim generations until Judgement Day.

Well, according to lots of enlightened leftists, this actually means that these fellas want to co-exist with Jews. Oddly, the Hamas boys don't seem too keen on peace conferences and such...

There is no solution to the Palestinian problem except by Jihad. The initiatives, proposals and International Conferences are but a waste of time, an exercise in futility.

And there's a lot of Zionist conspiracies...

The Zionist invasion is a vicious invasion. It does not refrain from resorting to all methods, using all evil and despicable and repulsive ways to achieve its desires. It relies greatly in its infiltration and espionage operations on the secret organizations it gave rise to, such as the Freemasons, The Rotary and Lions clubs, and other sabotage groups. All these organizations, whether secret or open, work in the interest of Zionism and according to its instructions. They aim at undermining societies, destroying values, corrupting consciences, deteriorating character and annihilating Islam. It is behind the drug trade and alcoholism in all its kinds so as to facilitate its control and expansion.

Mmmm...OK. But no fear, Hamas assures us their motives are benign:

Hamas is a humane movement, which cares for human rights and is committed to the tolerance inherent in Islam as regards attitudes towards other religions. It is only hostile to those who are hostile towards it, or stand in its way in order to disturb its moves or to frustrate its efforts.

Elsewhere, there's an interview with the late, unlamented, and thoroughly BBQ'd Dr. Abdel Aziz Al Rantisi:

Firstly, this is the custom of the Jews, for they are the killers of prophets, and the killers of the preachers who enjoin justice. Their criminal nature will never change.

How dare the Israelis build a wall to seperate themselves from these people!

If only those bastard Jews would let themselves be slaughtered by the pack of homicidal chimpanzees, all the problems in the Middle East would be solved.

(Update: I wish to apologise for my language: I mean no insult against monkeys and chimpanzees)



Yesterday, for the first time, I rode the legendary Vespa Scooter. The GT200 four-stroke model to be exact.

Jumping from a regular motorcycle to an automatic scooter requires a considerable mental adjustment. Bloody fun though. This sucker might be the perfect urban commuter, and is a great machine for learners.

You need to ride a scooter very differently to a regular bike.....

- there's no clutch, so the bike never stalls and you never change gear. You just twist the throttle and the bike moves.

- there are no foot controls. The left handlebar lever used used to control to rear brake instead of your right foot, and of course you no longer change gears with your left foot.

- the automatic transmission means there is little engine braking, which requires a very different corner entry technique.

For the first few minutes, I was all at sea. Going into corners, my right foot kept moving to activate the non-existent foot brake. I kept thinking the bike was going to stall as the revs dropped, and rather than kicking down a few gears, rolling off the throttle, and using a bit of brake to go around a corner, I had to use the brakes alone to slow me down.

Thankfully, the little disc brakes are excellent and are more than up to the task. Once I got used to it, the Vespa put a big smile on my face. It's very comfy, the engine is terrific (easily up to the task of highway cruising), it's very easy to steer and it looks fantastic. Ironically, a learner would probably get to grips with a scooter quicker than an experienced motorcyclist.

There are few more practical city vehicles than the Vespa, despite its $8400 on-the-road pricetag. First, fuel economy is phenomenal (my guess would be around 30km/l), registration and insurance costs are low, as are servicing costs. The tyres will last until The Resurrection, you'll never, ever have a problem finding a place to park, and the engine has enough grunt to take a pillion passenger on the back.

Cost of ownership and the fun factor aren't the only strengths of his great little machine. There's tons of storage space under the seat and in the glovebox underneath the handlebars, both of which are lockable. Which means there's space to store the groceries, and there's a place to store your riding jacket & gloves when you're off the bike, which is especially a blessing during hot weather. Carrying riding gear & luggage around during summer shopping duties is not fun.

The one glaring flaw is that the under-seat storage will not take a full-face helmet. You'll need to buy the optional accessory topbox for that, though I'd advise doing that anyway as it's very handy.

When it comes to cheap, enjoyable transport, the mighty Vespa is hard to beat.



I love watching lefties agonize over the election results. Here's "Serge" from aus.politics pining for his Labor heroes. After posting bunch of reviews about the new book on Paul Keating, he waxes lyrical...

(nostalgic sigh!)

God! How I miss him.

The Luminous Intelligence, the Language, the Wit, the Vision, the Engagement.

A time when our international standing was never higher. A time when our Parliament was a joy to listen to.

What have we got now?

The very antithesis of the above. A joke. A man who continuous to be a source of cringing embarrassment to this country.

God! Why can't the Liberals ever find men with the stature of a Keating, Hawke, or Whitlam. Names that strike a cord in the Australian psyche whenever they are invoked.

Can anyone recall any Liberal Party Prime Minister apart from that dull-witted fool Menzies?

No! of course not

Why are their leaders always so damn grey, dull, inward looking and bloody pathetic.

Ah! To return to the halcyon days of Australian politics.


Yeah. Keating was so visionary and luminous he was voted out in a landslide.

With true believers like this, is it any wonder Labor has lost 4 elections in a row?


Dopey as ever

As I expected, my statement of fact a few days ago has made serial dimwit Niall Cook rather cranky:

Either Smoking Too Much Or Simply Deluded

Here's an absolute classic from that den of dumb-dumbs.....Canberra. One wonders.....has Tex not heard of the Roman Empire, The Ottoman Empire, Pharonic Egypt, The Soviet Union, The Third Reich, The Mongols, Huns, infinitum? I recall Adolph Hitler foretold his personal empire would last 1000 years. Time to change your preferred weed, Tex.

One could point out to Niall that none of those empires were free democratic capitalist societies, but I doubt he'd understand the relevance of that. Dictatorships, commie suckholes and absolute monarchies eventually decay, but the capitalist-democratic engine makes the USA more powerful as time goes on. Nor is the USA an "empire" - there are no vast spaces America is trying to permanently hold.

It's not going to be taken down from the inside, and there certainly isn't anyone outside America capable of defeating them.

He's right about one thing though: Canberra is a den of dumb-dumbs... it's full of people like Niall Cook. No wonder it's a safe Labor seat.


There's an exception to every rule....

I have a theory which makes a lot of people very upset: old movies suck.

The actors sucked (sorry, but Jimmy Stewart, Cary Grant and John Wayne couldn't act their way out of a shithouse), the scripts sucked (modern daytime soaps have better dialogue) and they had the most godawful musical scores imaginable.

I think the oldest movie I've ever liked was Sidney Lumet's Twelve Angry Men with Henry Fonda. Other than that, anything made before the sixties is like a trip through hell for me.

So it was a rather big suprise to see an old classic on DVD which I not only enjoyed, but loved.

Roman Holiday, made in 1953 with Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn is everything 50's movies aren't: well-written & well-acted, beautifully made, with clever, economical dialogue and wonderful, restrained direction.

There was no 50's histronic cheesy dialogue, very little of that excruciating 'old movie music', and it has one of the best bittersweet final scenes I've yet seen.

The plot: Anne (Hepburn), a spoiled Princess of some ficticious European country, runs away from her entourage during a tour of Rome, and winds up crashing at the home of second-rate journalist Joe Bradley (Peck), who only discovers her identity when he sees her picture in a newspaper. They basically hang out together in Rome with Joe's photogrpaher pal Irv (Eddie Albert), who secretly takes pictures so that they both can get the press scoop of the century.

Anyone who has ever watched romantic comedies can probably guess how the rest of this gem of a movie develops. It's sweet rather than sappy, often very funny, has a few wonderful Italian character actors and the Roman locations are terrific.

Oh, it also has the best-ever appearance of a Vespa scooter in movie history.

Check it out. This film got to me. It'll get to you too.


A complete retraction

A while back I raved about a small local Chinese restaurant, The Oriental Express, saying it was the equal of any Chinese cuisine anywhere in the world.

A while later, I expressed my disappointment that the restaurant has changed owners and chef, and their version of a particular dish wasn't as good as before.

I really must have had my head up my arse.

Subsequent visits to The Oriental Express have seen me experience Chinese & Malaysian cuisine as good as any food on earth. On the last visit I consumed a dish of Sambal Chicken with Roti Cannai bread. I think I nearly creamed my pants gulping this stuff down. It was food worthy of the gods. The Chili Plum Beef ordered by my friend was equally sublime.

The owner & chef - Robert Wong - may be the friendliest restauranteur in the Southern Hemisphere. We always get a enthusiastic greeting and he'll happily talk for ages about various kinds of dishes.

If you're in Canberra and you want some seriously kickin' cuisine in a small, quiet establishment, you simply must give this place a try.


29 October 2004

...and the Julius Streicher Award goes to...

.....Daily Mirror columnist and George Galloway wannabe Paul Routledge:

YASSER Arafat, the Palestinian president, appears to be at death's door. Not surprising, really. He's 75 and he has been under house arrest for the past two years. If he stepped outside his front door, an Israeli sniper would shoot him.

A lesser man would have given up the ghost long ago. Something must keep him going. That something is the great wrong done to his people, and his lifelong mission to put it right.

I salute the courage of Yasser Arafat and the dogged determination of his people. They will outlive the hatred of the Israelis and the criminal indifference of their Yankee paymasters.

Hmmmm, maybe we can ask these people to testify to Yasser's great 'courage'.

You can help Paul in his hour of gloom by sending him an e-mail here or here. Here's the one I just wrote to the fat cunt:

Dear Paul,

Thank you for your touching tribute to mass-murderer and psychopath Yasser

Perhaps you can elaborate on some of his more "courageous" acts. Such as his
brave massacre of 21 filthy Zionist children at Maalot High School.

This brilliant approach continues to this day, where young arab men are sent to blow themselves up so that the world may be rid of stinky Jewish restaurant patrons, bus passengers, schoolchildren, babies and university students.

Why, there's no end to the fun variety of ways old Yasser has helped to "right the wrongs" against his people....

Hey, didya hear the funny story about the lads who fired an artillery shell into a schoolbus at Gush Katif. Good thing too, they were probably on their way to collect cheques from their 'American Paymasters'.

...or the great bloke who steered a bus into a crowd of Jews at Azor junction? That got eight of the bastards!

....or that party animal who went out with a bang at a Tel Aviv discotheque, disposing of 21 young future Zionist oppressors?

We have one man to thank for all this joyous mayhem. Where would we be without Yasser to take the fight to those big-nosed bastards?

You have ignored many of Yasser's achievments though, especially in the
educational field, where international aid money has been spent to translate
'Mein Kampf' and 'Protocols Of The Elders of Zion' into the local lingo. All to
aid child literacy rates you understand.

Maybe he can get the kiddies to read the PLO charter. There's some dynamite stuff in there about the destruction of Israel and exterminating the Jews.

I wish you goodday sir. Keep your chin up. Yasser will surely not yet abandon a world so clearly overrun with Zionists.


Please send him your regards as well. Poor fellow must be so glum right now.



I'm on a roll right now. I'm the best fuckin' blogger in the world, and I'll kick your sorry monkey-bitch ass if you say otherwise.


I'm sure you've all been waiting for this one

Extreme Pumpkins!!

Thanks to DC Jensen for the link.


A very brief movie review

Easy Rider was a piece of shit. The only people who like it are commies, ageing druggies and film-school students. Bunch of fucking cock-knocker losers. Go watch some real movies you sad bastards.


Very brief blogverse opinion

Who bloody cares who Andrew Sullivan endorses?


A message to all my lefty readers

The existence of the United States of America is the greatest thing
to happen to the human race since the Magna Carta got signed.

It is a simple, unarguable fact. Period.

That nation will never be conquered or beaten.

They will destroy their enemies.

They will forever be the world's dominant superpower.

There will be no worldwide socialist revolution.

American democratic capitalism is here to stay.

You know it's true.

And there is nothing you can do about it.

Good night.



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