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Live Whacking Archive
click "Live Whacking" button for the latest entries

28 December 2004


I just watched the DVD of The Human Stain, a movie starring Anthony Hopkins, Nicole Kidman and Ed Harris.

One word comes to mind: pointless.

The two halves of the story really have nothing to do with one another. This wouldn't have been a problem had either of them been any good. One of them was boring and the other simply ridiculous. I'm not going to say any more lest I reveal certain plot developments to anyone still interested in watching it.

It's not so much bad as a complete waste of time, and you shouldn't waste yours on it.

Ed Harris does play a good creep though. Pity he only had about three scenes.


You knew this was coming

One of the dopes at aus.politics is blaming the Asian tsunami on global warming.

No, really.


27 December 2004

It's at time like this...

...I wish I were religious. I might then have the solace of prayer as a method of helping those caught up in the growing horror of the Asian Tsunami.

I'll be throwing a few bucks toward one the the appeals that are sure to spring up in the next day or so. I'm kinda short of cash for the next few months, but fifteen bucks might get some fuel, food or a blanket to somewhere it's needed.

If you have the means, please do the same.

This sucks :(


And if any proof were needed...

...of what a bunch of slimy cunts the screeching left in this country really are, check out the "Your Say" section of the Sydney Morning Herald. Some folks have sent in their reactions to the Asian Tsunami. Rather than express their sorrow over the event, they've taken it as yet another reason to complain about John Howard and Dubya:

Our governments pledge of AU$10 million is disgusting. Over 14000 people have died in several nations, something like 5500 Australians are in the region; people are dieing and in need to assistance and our government offers AU$10 million? Over the past 3 years thanks to Mr. (tight) Costello, Australia's federal budget surpluses total AU$16.5 billion and our government can only afford $10 million? Surely this is some sort of joke! Most of the real aid they will provide will benefit them and the Australian economy in the long run because building contracts and the like will go to Australia private and public companies (just like the US has done in Iraq). So my message to Mr. Howard (Bonsai - little bush) is this: "Pull your finger out and at least do one thing worthwhile in your four years in office! Stop embarrassing yourself and the whole of Australia with you!"

this just demonstrates that we "immortal" humans are and always will be at the mercy of nature, no matter how hard we try to dominate it and everything it represents. dont expect a genuinely compassionate response from the U.S. Government, as a "war on earthquakes" will not be as profitable as good ol' terrorism

A pity our army is busy fighting America's immoral war when they should be providing assistance to the affected areas.


Oh, and who'd like to bet that Joe Vialls will blame the disaster on "Zionist Weather Warfare Devices"?


Confusing search string of the day

what kinda decorations do they have in france

I don't know. What kind of decorations do they have in France?


26 December 2004


I hope you had a very merry Christmas.

I had a nice day. It wasn't boiling hot for once, Scored lots of quality booze, had a lot to eat.

Favourite gift: A Simpsons Monopoly game. It's the first time I've played Monopoly in at least a decade, and the Simpsons angle makes it a hoot (what other game lets you own the Kwik-E-Mart and the Burns Mansion, and also makes you pay protection money to Fat Tony?)

Oh, and I got a jumbo can of Milo. Yummmmmmmmm.....

And I'm also rather pleased at the wide backlash against the PC-crusade to remove Christianity from Christmas. Next year, I hope to see much more baby Jesus iconography in public.

Also pleasing, lefty miserablist Niall Cook is throwing a spazz:

Yes, it's over for another 364 days and some hours. That's Christmas, it's done and dusted, finished, kapput, finito, fucked, and whatever suitable epithet you care to label it with. All I can say is thank the Gods I successfully avoided all the hoop-la, fol-de-rol, faux seasonal cheer and associated false bullshit which comes along every year.


Let's face it. Christmas as supposedly celebrated by secular western society has nothing whatever to do with any kind of religious festival, especially any Christian festival. It's yet another opportunistic secondment courtesy of the Roman Catholic church which has been craftily grafted into our collective psyche over generations by equally brain-washed ancestors. It's crap, has nothing to do with any Jewish carpenter being born in Roman occupied Palestine 2,000 years ago, if indeed there ever was a Jewish carpenter.


Christmas as it stands today is nothing more than a capitalistic money-grabbing exercise by profiteering business people with as much 'Christmas Spirit' as that displayed by Dickens' Ebenezer Scrooge. In fact, I reckon Scrooge had it right. All he wanted was his pound of flesh, rather than his and someone elses as business wants today. And it doesn't stop there. Not only do retailers want to siphon your wallet during normal business hours, they want the right to keep on doing it 24/7. I bet they'd leap at the chance to welcome you into their dens of bankruptcy on December 25 if they were permitted.

(Yeah Niall, we all know how much businesses love customers who don't have any money to spend)

Thankfully, the money flow ceases, briefly, for that one day, before starting up again today with the 'Yee-Hah, You-Beaut, Get-In-Quick-For-A-Bargain-Or-You'll-Be-Sorry' post-Christmas sales. As if any retailer is going to sacrifice any profits to suckers who front up. Post-Christmas sales only prove just how much you were ripped off in the Pre-Christmas hurley-burley. Bugger 'em all, I say. My cash stays in my pocket, where it belongs.

If you enjoyed Christmas, then bloody good on you! Personally, I reckon there's something wrong with you upstairs, but to each their own.

What a sorry-arsed goose this man is.


Another gun I want

Colt Python Elite .357 Magnum

A lovely and expensive firearm. In Australia, I've seen them priced at $3265.00. Assuming you can get a licence for one....



Still having a lot of problems with my cunting phone line and ISP.


Big bore bikes for cheap

Big two-wheeled sports tackle is expensive to purchase, insure & maintain. Grab a ZX-10, and you won't have much change from $20,000 once on-road costs are paid, and that's before you shell out around two grand for insurance. A lot of money for a very uncomfortable, impractical machine.

Thankfully there are inexpensive options for those who want a big, powerful, machine with decent sporting capabilities, with the bonus of day-to-day practicality and comfort.

The first of these is the Suzuki Bandit 1200, at the absurdedly low price of $11,990.

It wasn't long ago the big Bandit was the first choice for wheelie-mad hoons. It's still got a whopper of an engine, even if the chassis is a tad heavy for full-on sport-riding. For the rest of us, the Bandit still has more than enough capability to be a blast on the open road. And the fairing gives long-distance comfort. There are few other options to get a big bike for so little money.

If you buy one though, your first purchase should be an aftermarket replacement for the standard exhaust, which is hopelessly restrictive. A bolt-on muffler by itself can add 10hp, a full-system over 20.

Kawasaki have their own budget big boy too: the ZRX-1200

I tested one of these the day I first rode my beloved z1000. It's a very different beast to my bike. Heavier and slower-steering, it's a real 70's-style musclebike, only with the benefits of modern suspension and engine technology.

The engine is a stormer: certainly better than the z1000. Tons of power and torque right off idle.

The chassis is very stable, and - like the Bandit - makes a superb machine for long, fast weekend rides. The headlight fairing gives good weather protection (and helps towards the bike's great fuel economy), it's comfy and there's good passenger accommodations. Also - thanks to the twin rear shocks replacing the normal underseat monoshock, there's tons of space under the seat too.

Cost is $12,990. If it were my money, I'd definitely grab the ZRX ahead of the Bandit. I love the 70's retro-styling, that great engine and the fuel economy.


22 December 2004

Another one for the "maybe" list

If there's one bike I regret never riding, it is Kawasaki's ZX7R.

Sadly, the bike ceased production during 2003. This didn't come as a surprise. The bike had received not one single update since its release in 1996, and - on paper at least - was falling miles behind the other superbike competitors. I guess the bosses at the Big K decided they were losing face by continuing to manufacture the machine.

While Honda finally ditched their RC45 in favour of a twin, and Suzuki kept releasing ever more high-tech variants of the GSXR-750, Kawasaki soldiered on alone in the 750cc, four-cylinder production superbike class.

In World Superbike guise, the ZX7 won a mere seven races between 1996 and 2002, and in street form was a whopping 40kgs+ heavier than the GSXR750 or Yamaha's exotic R7.

Like I said, the stats don't point to a great bike. Those who got to ride it thought otherwise. Most positive reviews focused on the bike's biggest strength: its phenomenal stability. With apparently the best front end in the history of production sportsbikes, the bike could absolutely be caned over the crappiest of roads, while the well-sorted suspension, geometry and weight kept the front tyre completely planted. In other words, it was the perfect bike for Australia's back roads.

I always loved the look of the machine: the "alien" front end with the wide, twin ram-air scoops gave a rare distinctive character for a Japanese sports machine.

It sounded phenomenal too. The wonderful roar of the carburetted Kawasaki ram-air engine made the hairs on your neck stand up.

It wasn't too comfortable apparently, though that is hardly unusual for a superbike. It did have some practical features for road use: the wide, flat pillion seat and strong grab rails provided decent accomodation for the 'better half'. They also provided a great base for strapping luggage to the bike.

I'd love to have a weekend blast on one of these. The Alpine Way or Cann Valley Highway/Imlay road would be perfect. Pity they don't make them anymore. The bike is too good to be mothballed. So what if it can no longer fit into the superbike class? Kawasaki could just re-name it and market it as a brilliant sports roadbike. It'd be cheap too, as they long ago recovered the development costs for this machine.

I'll keep my eye out next year for a used ZX7R in good condition at a decent price. Wish me luck.


Cuba and Venezuela to crush the USA

So sayeth Crazy Joe.

I'd like to take a wander inside Joe's head for 10 minutes,as I'm curious to see how his brain handles the difference between his Jew-hating bizzaroworld fantasies and what must be the constantly disappointing intrusions of the real world.

During the last thirty years alone, America's Zionist controllers have ordered the calculated murder of more than six million innocents around the world, and the world is not prepared to tolerate another six million innocents being murdered by Zion during the next thirty years.

This statement has gotta be one of the all-time Joe Vialls classics:

Back in November 1962 when President Kennedy forced the removal of Russian missiles from Cuba, very few Americans stopped to ponder whether, at some point in the distant future, the tiny island of Cuba would decide to exact revenge on the United States for this very public humiliation. Forty years ago it all seemed most unlikely, but today the wheel has turned full circle, and a little Fidel Castro payback appears to be just over the horizon.

Bwehehe. Yes, there's some frightening Fidel Revenge afoot. How? read on...

Based on received intelligence, it seems likely that the Island of Cuba will soon be used as 'point man' in a grand plan to deny American warships and other vessels safe transit through the Gulf of Mexico. Quite apart from thoroughly humiliating New York and Washington, such a move will have a far more devastating effect if tankers are denied access to the southern American oil terminals. Without oil imported through its critical southern oil terminals, and also possibly facing denial of access to underwater oil reserves in the Gulf of Mexico, America will collapse in less than six months.

You heard it here first: America will collapse in six months. And we all know how accurate Joe's predictions are. Remember how Putin was going to nuke Israel and the Republican guard was going to drive the USA out of Iraq?

The man who launched a thousand Joe Vialls wet dreams: President Vladimir Putin.

But Joe is convinced he's right this time, because all that intelligence he receives has told his about a new army of space-age Russian M-29 Death Jets which will vaporise the USA in no time.

This is where the really clever bit comes in. Russia has arranged for the Venezuelan pilots to receive their advanced Mig 29 training in Cuba, which already has six earlier version of the aircraft. So the Cuban instructors are well up to the job, but don't have the latest Mig 29 SMT model that the Venezuelan Air Force has. Well, not until next week anyway. Russia is donating four [Onyx equipped] Mig 29 SMTs to Cuba free of charge, for use in training the Venezuelan pilots and then to add to their own inventory. Agreement has also been reached for joint exercises in the future, using Cuban airspace.


So how is the U.S. Navy going to feel when every dark blue Mig 29 SMT flying off a dirt strip in Cuba (yes, they can do that), is possibly carrying an Onyx missile capable of sinking any American ship within a tactical radius of 600 miles?

Yes. The USA is about to be destroyed by Cuba and Venezuela. Hey, stop laughing damn you, this is serious! The amazing thing is that Joe actually believes this stuff.

If you haven't been following Joe's works recently, Mr. Vialls has a serious hard-on for Vladimir Putin, who Joe believes is going to deliver us all from Zionists and the USA. He apparently has all these new space-age weapons which will deal humiliating blows to Israel and America, and the Russian army will conquer Israel and control the world. No really. I asked Joe via e-mail exactly how the Russians were going to achieve this if they haven't been able to control Chechnya so far.

Mr Vialls did not take kindly to this question and started to talk about brainwashing.

Poor Joe. All the king's horses and all the king's men aint gonna put his brain together again......


21 December 2004

Quote of the Day

"We can't leave now.. they haven't cut the cock yet"

- Samantha Jones, Sex & The City


What, no plastic turkey?

George "I hate the modern world" Moonbat is recycling urban legends:

In February, a leaked report from the Pentagon revealed that it sees global warming as far more dangerous to US interests than terrorism. As a result of abrupt climate change, it claimed, "warfare may again come to define human life... As the planet's carrying capacity shrinks, an ancient pattern re-emerges: the eruption of desperate, all-out wars over food, water, and energy supplies." The nuclear powers are likely to invade each other's territories as they scramble for diminishing resources.

The supposed Pentagon report was debunked ten months ago.


Woman on TV

Canberra ABC news presenter Virginia Haussegger is a babe.

Pity all the online pics of her are terrible, which is why I won't post any.....


Favourite TV characters, part IV

Character: Claire Kincaid
Actor: Jill Hennessy
Show: Law & Order

Actually, the Kincaid character had a woeful start, spending the first of her three seasons as a tedious, incompetent waif. Fortunately, the writers gave her some personality in her later seasons. She never had anywhere near the aura of street-smarts as Carey Lowell's character, but the wink-wink scenes between her and Sam Waterson had genuine warmth and charm, which nicely offset the grimy legal matters the show dealt with.

Of course, it didn't hurt that Hennessy was an absolute honeymuffin:

Sadly, Hennessy quit the show to become a really annoying actress in Crossing Jordan. Oh well.


Old movies that don't suck, part 2

A while back, I reviewed Roman Holiday. A film which - to my considerable surprise, I enjoyed enormously. I've mentioned a few times I'm not a fan of old movies. Crap acting, crap dialogue, godawful music and shoddy production design are not things I find inspiring.

I recently had a chance to view another old hollywood classic I've never had the slightest interest in: Casablanca. And colour me surprised: I enjoyed this one too.

"So this guy walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny
piano, and a 12-inch pianist...."

Why did I like it? For starters, a funny and clever screenplay that today's hipster screenwriters would be proud to have written.

The acting was mostly top-notch. I've never had much use for Humphrey Bogart (or any other of the old Hollywood legends for that matter), but he was perfect for this role. Ingrid Bergman is the kind of luminous babe they just don't make anymore. And Peter Lorre's small cameo as a petty thief was hilarious. The real scene-stealer though, was Claude Rains as the wry French chief of police. He gets some of the best lines in movie history.

The story works too: clever and concise, the weaving together of the romantic triangle of the main characters set against the backdrop of the WWII refugee crisis and a cat-n-mouse game over some missing documents was accomplished with effortless grace.

It wasn't all good though: the music is as hideous as 40's movie scores generally are (did this shit actually sound good to people back then?), and some of the romantic dialogue was pure old-movie cheese.

Still, we're left with a beautiful-looking, well-acted movie with a strong narrative that has stood the test of time remarkably well.

And guys, show it to your girlfriends: you will get SO laid.


One that really, really sucked

If you've got a hated old relative whom you'd like to push into an early death, plunk them down in front of a large TV and loud stereo, and make them sit through Alan Parker's movie adaption of Evita.

More fun than cancer: Madonna wails in Evita

I'll start by mentioning the good points: the lavish production and costume design, Darius Khondji's marvelous cinematography, and Antonio Banderas' performance - aside from his great screen presence, he also has the only good song in the entire film. It was nice to see Jimmy Nail in a cameo as a tango singer. And, erm.... the fact that I survived it must mean something.

The bad points? Ugggh...where to start....

- Madonna: not to put too fine a point on it, she can't act for shit. Even in a movie with basically no dialogue, she made my flesh crawl.

- The story: Why should I care about some fascist whore who fucked a dictator and died? I was half-hoping someone would shoot the bitch and get it over with.

- The music: The "don't cry for me Argentina" tune is a good one, which is probably why it's recycled for Antonio's opening song, and on and on ad nauseam throughout the movie. The rest of it is some of the most dissonant, atonal crap I've had the misfortune to sit through. And it's sooo borrrringg. The soundtrack to this movie could be used as punishment in Turkish prisons.

- The running time: Evita is over two bloody hours long. It just went on and on and fucking on.

Given a choice between a prostate exam, and sitting through Evita again, I'll take the rubber glove and KY jelly every time.


19 December 2004


I've been farting around with firewalls, spyware and updating my anti-virus software this week, which in addition to some ISP hassles has kept me away from blogging.

No doubt you are thrilled at my return.



1: Why don't most advocates of public transport actually use it themselves?

2: Why do most people who criticise Prez Bush for his supposed "low IQ" believe everything Michael Moore says?

3: Why do most people who support the Iraqi "resistance" blame the Americans for not stopping the violence caused by the resistance?

4: If Israel really is a "Nazi state", why aren't all the Arabs dead yet? The IDF could wipe out the entire muslim population of the middle east in weeks if they wanted to.

5: Why do most lefties have such contempt for the electorate?

6: If John Pilger is right, and the mainstream media is "too scared" to hear what he has to say, why does the whinging loser keep getting interviewed?


A love letter from Joe Vialls

I was delighted to see this in my inbox this morning:

Now let me see if I have this right:

You were brainwashed by ANU, have never done a proper job, know nothing about the outside world, and were finally taken in by ANU again when no one else [understandably] wanted you.

Get a life, do some travelling, and open your eyes.

Joe says this as a man currently living off the public tit himself. He's apparently a "disabled former combat veteran". If that's true, I'd like to buy a beer for whoever shot him.

Besides Joe, I worked in a non-government owned cafe for seven years. Is that not a 'real job'? I've also travelled to six other countries. How about you?

Joe didn't answer my questions as to when some of his brilliant predictions would actually come true, or what evidence he had for some of his more "interesting" theories. These have included:

- The Sari Club bombing in bali was a "mini nuke" planted by the Israelis.
- The Australian embassy in Jakarta was "nuked".
- The massacre at the school in Beslan was done by "Zionists from Wall Street".
- A fearsome alliance between Iran & Iraq is going to "destroy Israel and the USA" with their fearsome array of "attack jets".
- The guy they caught in Iraq last December wasn't Saddam Hussein.
- Seoul is arranging a nuclear attack on Hawaii.
- The Nicholas Berg murder on video was committed by Jews.
- The train accident in Ryongchong, North Korea was in fact a nuclear strike by "Zionists".
- Jews are planning to turn Miami into a fortress city of Zion.
- The Madrid train bombings were committed by Israel.
- Israel is going to invade America.
- Vladamir Putin is going to nuke Israel.
- "Arab attack jets" are going to destroy Israel.
- The Port Arthur massacre was organised by Israel.
- Cyclone Zoe was in fact a new-age "Weather Warfare" weapon. Invented by Jews of course.
- the USA and Israel are conducting mass mind-control via satellite.
- Israel is conducting "subliminal warfare" by using TV images in the USA.

I'm waiting for your answers Joe. You know where to find me.


Bugs & other scoots

Today I visited a brand new scooter dealership: 'Moto One' in Mitchell.

A charming little husband-n-wife effort, Moto One had a good range of Peugot and Bug scooters on display, and the couple were very friendly and chatty. I hope they succeed. Motorini certainly seem to be doing well. There's room in Canberra for two specialist scooter dealers.

Bugs are manufactured in Taiwan, seem well-built and are incredibly cheap compared to the Italian and Japanese competition.

This little gem, the Bug Espresso, is a 150cc four-stroke available at less than $4800 on-the-road and comes with a free topbox. The equivalent Vespa is around $6500.

The dealer let me have a brief ride of his wife's Espresso around the car park. It's light, very comfy, has easy-to-use controls. Sasn't really enough of a ride to evaluate the engine or brakes, but they seemed ok in the limited test I gave them.

This scoot will be going on my shortlist of cheap runabouts to grab next year.

They also had one of these tasty little 2-stroke sport-scooters: the Peugeot Speedfight

Only 100cc, but a 'stroker has more oopmh than a 4-stroke, and it has some trick chassis parts.

Yes, I know it's French. Shaddup already.

The scoot I'd love most of all is the Italjet Dragster, which ceased production after the EU brought in tougher emission requirements.

This pocket rocket featured proper sports suspension and a lively 180cc 2-stroke engine. The Dragster is pretty much regarded as one of the most fun two-wheelers ever built. Even the power-nutters at Performance Bikes magazine featured this little scoot in their y2k "bike of the year" video. It wasn't one of the contenders, but there was lot of footage of them doing wheelies on the thing.

There's a bunch of them available on the 2nd-hand market. I may shop around for one next year.

Or if I'm very lucky, I may find an Italjet Formula 125....

I saw one of these in traffic today. Tasty piece of kit. Like the Dragster, the Formula 125 is a full-on 2-stroke sports scooter. The 125 however is the only twin-cylinder 2-stroker of recent years.

The best part about sports scooters is the fun you can have customising them. There are tons of performance kits available. Race exhausts, suspension kits, even - believe it or not - nitrus oxide boosters.

Scooters rock. I really will have to get myself one......


13 December 2004

The art of living up your own arse

Welcome to the world of Peter Greenaway, a man so pretentious he makes Jacques Derrida look like Russell Coight.

Greenaway is, quite simply, one of the the world's worst filmmakers, a cinematic equivalent of Jean Baudrillard: a man who's shallow pseudo-intellectual works people pretend to understand and enjoy in order to prove how clever they are.

Give the man credit, his films are visually beautiful (watching Prospero's Books with the sound off is a feast for lovers of cinematography and production design). They are also pointless, stupid and mind-bogglingly boring.

I dare any sane adult to sit through The Pillow Book without the aid of hard alcohol: An Asian woman likes her lovers to write calligraphy on her body. There's apparently some really important point being made about identity and textuality. And there's lots of fancy overlapping film frames and on-screen cursive text. I was so stimulated I switched over to the Home Shopping channel.

Worse than the man's films though, is the experience of watching him talk about himself, an activity he uses to inform the ignorant savages out there just how clever and innovative his films are, and how he is taking cinema beyond the boring, mundane stuff like telling stories and entertaining people.

I would say there has been no cinema yet. Nobody has yet made a film. I think the best we can manage is a version of illustrated literature or recorded theatre. Alain Resnais [the French filmmaker, creator of Hiroshima, mon amour and L'annee derniere a Marienbad], for me, has probably come the closest of any filmmaker to make a film which canot be manifested in any other art form. I also think that the dominant commercial cinema is extremely conventional, very orthodox, very non-investigative; Scorsese, basically, is still making the same movies as Griffith. But I'm not down-hearted about this, because just around the corner, after a hundred years of this prologue to cinema which we've had, is the possibility of at last being able to make pure cinema, with all the new technologies. Virtual reality, the IMAX screen, the whole digital revolution is going to allow us to make actual cinema. You might recall that occasion when Eisenstein, of all people, said to Walt Disney that Disney was the only man that really made films, because the entire filmic universe was created completely within his imagination, and not with reference to the real world.

Most of my cinema, I suppose, has been, again, agonizing about this difference that's existed in the West--this division between text and image, and the hopeful ability of cinema to unite them. Again, I don't think it ever has successfully. As an addendum to that, the next product which I hope will filmically extend this idea is a movie that we're about to make in Japan, which is essentially about calligraphy: how calligraphy, an Oriental tradition--possibly an Islamic tradition--has been able to avoid the divorce between text and image, and in a very unified way. Little essays in this direction were already made in Prospero's Books, with its concern for the art of calligraphy, for what it meant and stood for. Sadly, calligraphy no longer exists in the Western world, not to any appreciable extent, anyway.


"We have to move away from the concept of screening in cinemas. This can be achieved with the new technologies. I enjoy my films and the fact that I can include you in them as well. Cinema is only a small part of a much greater phenomenon. We transcend the barriers of culture. DVDs’ image quality and longevity provide us with new prospects. They are a powerful medium. I think they were invented especially for me."

Oooh, I'm getting a mental stiffy here.

Still, the literate posturing of Greenaway and his ilk can't hide the fact that no amount of new technologies will make up for a movie that is little more than fraud-art.

Scorcese is just "re-making Griffith movies"? Scorcese has more talent in his faecal matter than this self-absorbed windbag will have in his entire miserable career. Greenaway does the intellectual pose of "well, I could make regular great movies if I wanted to, but I choose not to". Bullshit. I challenge Greenaway's fans to cite one scene - one - of his that can match the Travis Bickle "you talking to me?" scene in Taxi Driver. Just a stationary camera and a guy talking to himself in the mirror made one of the most riveting movie moments of all time. For all his wannabe intellectualism and art-house wank, Greenaway can only dream of movie-making of that calibre.

Greenaway is no more an artist than Zsa Zsa Gabor. He and his tiresome supporters suffer from archetypal wank-art disease: that something has artistic merit purely by virtue of being different, or shocking, or disgusting. Why are Greenaway's movies any more artistic than a performance artist shitting on stage and eating it, or a comedian walking offstage and kicking an audience member in the balls?

He has no narrative skills, no ability to make us feel for a character, no ability to make us feel excitement, or laughter. These things require a skilled director. Showing an endless sequence of pretty pictures and letting us know how many obscure books you've read doesn't count.

This isn't art, it's masturbation.


9 December 2004

Quote of the day

Never get Freudian with a man with a pickle.

- Jack McCoy, Law & Order


Separated at birth?

I'll never look at Peter Costello the same way again.


Why I am not a Christian: exhibit A

Some days back I posted about a wannabe-Jesus-sequel by the name of Jacob Jones, who was writing post after post at the forum trying in an effort to make us see the light and save our souls from hell.

It seems Jacob has finally lost patience with us, and feels frustrated that nobody is taking him seriously. Jacob has bid us farewell with an angry post threatening us all with a divine reckoning....

Am I to blame if Libertarians feel uncomfortable at the challenges posed to their belief structures and lifestyle choices by God? They may try to mock and ridicule me, but try as they might they have been unable to ignore me, because behind my words is The Word Of God. They know that, subconsciously; irrespective of what barbs and mockeries their conscious minds may generate to avoid them having to confront The Truth. I am not suprised that they now try to ban me; sweep me under the carpet; torpedo my canoe. Jesus was ostracised; victimised; excluded. The Truth is often a lonely place to be; but The Truth is more important than popularity. Evil happens when good men do nothing; Libertarians on the internet, even if were they are good men, are men doing nothing. They fiddle while Rome burns; they fonicate while little children suffer; they pontificate while others paddle the righteous course. When I hold a mirror up to their world, they see an image they do not like; and attack the messenger, God's messenger, instead of harking the message.

Good to see Jacob is a modest fella. "God's messenger" eh? I'm curious: what do people like Jacob actually discuss with God during their conversations? Football? Theology? Cheese?

In a dream last night God told me that my work here is all but done;

(What work? Making Christians look like raving idiots?)

God has drawn a line in the cyber-sand, and all Libertarians here have been forewarned.

Ooooh, scary!

Jacob, like a lot of religious people, doesn't seem to understand that threatening non-believers with divine retribution isn't particularly effective.

They have a clear choice; adopt God as their seeing-eye dog, their moral compass, their ethical UBD; or carry on in their blind delusions and suffer the consequences.

On the subject of "delusions", here are some of Jacob's previous utterances:

  • He wants homosexuals to be punished until they are "cured". But he still loves them, you see, he just hates their "sins".
  • "Until appropriate santions against fornication are implemented, and moral values are reaffirmed by community leaders, little children will continue to suffer."
  • The government should introduce: "approved music play lists, in so-called 'nightclubs'"
  • "the real crime here is that women can parade their unclad bodies in public places" .... he was talking about the beach.
  • He wants "direct sanctions against fornication"
  • "We do not have television, but I certainly would not allow my children to watch the Mouseketeers if we did."
  • "If Libertarians want small government and less tax, surely it is good to insist that only married people have sex so that sperm is used for the purpose of creating children..."
  • and "I am not God"...... just in case there was any confusion.
Anyway, the the conclusion of Jacob's farewell post:

For when the everafter commences, what is now and will be prior to that time will then be in the past, and judgments will be made; ignorance will be no excuse; penance will be paid. At that moment, no amount of language twists or Libertarian semantics will be able to trick God. God loves us all, even homosexuals, but love is a two-way deal. Those who wish to enjoy the benefits of His creation must realise that life is not simply charity; their are accounts to be paid. Worldly pleasures are seductive, and the quest for worldly knowledge a natural curiosity that all children have; but as Solomon would attest, as one grows older and comes to a position of wisdom, the ceaseless clatter of the mind may make way for a clearer vision. God's love is there for all who open their hearts and minds and embrace it; His word is the only answer you need. My colleagues and I will pray that you Libertarians all find this out before the everafter commences; for there will be Hell to pay if you continue in your arrogant, human-centred ways.

Charming fellow. "God loves you so much he'll send you to hell if you don't love him back". Kinda sounds more like a child-molester than a benevolent deity.


7 December 2004

I guess the brainectomy was cancelled

Joe Vialls is back! Woo!

He brings us two pieces of important news.....

- the fearsome Iraqi resistance has the Americans surrounded and are beginning to "starve them out". I guess our Jew-controlled media is the reason nobody else has heard about this.

As Republican Guard strategists suck U.S. combat troops further north into unwanted urban areas like Fallujah, Samarra, Kirkuk and Mosul, America's supply lines from Kuwait in the far south become longer and thinner. Eventually those supply lines will be attacked by the Shi'ite Mehdi Army and cut completely, thereby starving the U.S. combat troops into surrender.


Where the Vietnamese were essentially self-trained jungle fighters with minimal weaponry, the Republican Guard is special-forces trained by Russia, and equipped with every weapon in the Russian arsenal apart from aircraft. They are highly motivated, highly trained, and are presently sucking your dad or brother or son northwards into a deadly trap that the myopic overfed generals in the Pentagon cannot or will not see, and Wolfowitz would be incapable of understanding, even if you drew it all for him in colored crayon pictures.

Oooooh. Scary.

- Joe's absence was caused by a "deadly mystery virus" (known to regular people as "the flu"):

More than a month ago I was struck down by a "flu" virus so savage that within 24 hours I had a temperature of 103.5 F and could barely breathe at all, with the resulting partial oxygen starvation rendering intelligent analysis impossible. In short, I got perilously close to death that week. When I was finally able to work out rationally what had happened and was still happening to me, I managed to establish that the most likely culprit was Asian SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) or H5N1 (Bird Flu), both of which share a suspiciously high number of scientific links to the horrific 'flu Pandemic of 1918, and the initial onset effects of the WWI war gas "Phosgene".

Within weeks of my own incapacitation, hundreds of other Western Australians were struck down in a similar fashion, but the Government made no public announcements and it issued no warnings. Instead, and in the total absence of any increased pollen count, a government spokesperson appeared on television to state that Western Australia was, "In the grip of a Hay Fever epidemic which can cause severe breathing difficulties and Asthma" ... "As you know, a severe Asthma attack can kill." This absurd propaganda was clearly designed to ensure that if deaths later became publicly evident, the deceased would be labelled as "asthmatics", rather than victims of a terrifying killer virus that had entered the State of Western Australia by unknown means.


in the public interest, I will write a full report on the subject including similarities to the 'flu Pandemic of 1918 and Phosgene, hopefully by January 2005.

I can't wait. What's the likelihood Joe will blame his flu on Zionist Death Gas?


Ahhh, if only.....................

People often talk about what they'd buy if they become obscenely rich. Usually, it's boring shit like cars, jewels, clothes, personal trainer, blah blah....

Personally, one of the first things I'd get would be my own Jetcopter. There's something cool about a fast helicopter. I hate planes. A chopper is like a car for the air.

Yes, this Sikorsky S-76 would do nicely thank you.

The Deluxe Executive version is a mere USD $8mil.

There's also the supremely tasty Bell 430.....

Yes. This will also do nicely......


Niall Cook vs. somebody

Niall is complaining about petrol prices...

Collusion Or Abuse Of Market Power?

Ever paid a whole lot of attention to petrol prices locally? Stupid question I suppose. We're all subject to the cost of filling our cars, getting to work and paying the ever-increasing costs of public transport fares. It's all connected with the cost of refined fossil fuels in one way or another, and more particularly, to the cost of refined oil products. Fossil fuels are a finite commodity, I think we all appreciate that. I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that none appreciate it more than the corporate entities integrally involved in the provision of the refined products - essentially petroleum products.

I guess the fact that half of the price of a litre on petrol goes straight into the government's pockets is irrelevant. After all, Niall thinks the government taking our money is "part of our citizenship of Australia".

So, the government robbing us for a service they do not provide is A-OK, but a company charging money for the sale of their own property is an "abuse of market power".

Ya gotta love lefty logic.


Arguing with another Castro-lover

I present for your enjoyment one 'Gregory Shearman', a resident of aus.politics. Gregory thinks Australia has no more freedom than Cuba. No really.

Here is a collection of Greggy's posts on Castro, and a few other things. When asked why Cuba doesn't have free elections, Greg says "neither do we". When asked why political opponents of Castro are imprisoned, he says "the same thing happens here". When asked why Cubans don't have freedom of speech, Greg says "neither do we".

Greg's reasoning is that Australians are forbidden from joining "political parties" like Al-Quaeda, so we therefore have no freedom of speech or free elections.



"Alternative" medicine

Damian gives us a good link and some comments on "alternative" medical quackery.

Personally, I think these practicioners should be clubbed over the head. That is, after we shoot the faith healers.....


More Neville

Richard Neville reckons the US military are like the Khans of Mongolia. He supplies lots of evidence, like the bogus "100,000 casualties" from the Lancet, and the "half a million Iraqi children under the age of 5" who were killed by sanctions.

At first glance, the parallels are uncanny. When the Mongol hordes sacked Baghdad in 1258, they "fanned out through the prestigious city demolishing buildings, burning neighbourhoods, and mercilessly massacring men, women, and children". The waters of the Tigris ran red with human blood, many libraries perished, water resources trashed, irreplaceable cultural treasures were lost.

All achieved without an airforce. While the scale of the Mongolian slaughter is the stuff of legend, it is time to ask the obvious follow up – have the excesses of Mongols been surpassed by those of the Marines?


Comparing the Americans to Moguls is unfair on the Moguls.

Comparing the Americans to 'Moguls'?

Anyhoot, the reason for all this American nastiness is because Americans were brainwashed by the American Music Awards.

It was while I was mulling over this, puzzled at the lack of outrage, that the 2004 American Music Awards blared from the back room (two weeks after its live US broadcast). How tame it was, despite the rapper throngs, evoking the sterility of Dick Clark’s 1950’s Bandstand. One surprise was a presenter in a red hourglass dress who hugged herself passionately and asked: “Like my body?” I laughed. Better political incorrectness, than a political vacuum. What came of the hopes once lavished upon Dylan/Stones era rock? There was “rock against racism”, which seems to have succeeded, and rock against war, which seems to have failed. Although screened in a hundred countries, the American Music Awards was the voice of denial, self obsession, isolation. No climate change, no tortures, no stifling of dissent. As 200,000 citizens fled their own city, Rod Stewart was prancing about singing, It’s a Wonderful World.

I don't think even Richard understands what he's raving about anymore.

Meanwhile, over at his blog, Dick is cranky to discover that not everyone agrees with him.

This flimsy adjunct to my long running dot com has unleashed a salvo of foam from the brownshirts. Thanks for caring, and pardon the failure to reply to each comment. At my age, every minute counts.

Seems Richard's love of dissenting opinions is confined to those he agrees with.

Richard, you're awfully old to be writing like a teenager. How about retiring while you still have some illusions to dignity?

Looking for older whackings?

Wanna see my previous rants against lefty, commie, peacenick wankers, plus lots of fun stuff about motorcycles, music and movies?................ Click here for the full past whackings index


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