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Live Whacking Archive
click "Live Whacking" button for the latest entries

25 October 2003

Third-world morons

PNG Prime Minister Michael "Big Bwana" Somare has praised Malaysian Nazi PM Mahatier, and criticised Australia for brutally giving PNG lots of our taxpayer dollars.

He blamed Australia for Papua New Guinea's dependency on foreign aid. Australia doles out $330 million each year to the Pacific island nation.

"We now know that our dependency on aid has made even the best of us complacent. No aid is free ... you either pay now or you pay later," he said.

Hasn't actually stopped him accepting the money of course.

The Very Deep Thoughts of Phillip Adams

"The proles just don't understand"

While Margot Moonbat is busy discovering new threats to Australian democracy on a daily basis, the bloated socialist loser is now blabbing about sheep, an Indonesian boat which sank in Indonesian waters, and a lot of his own rage at the population voting for The Wrong Bloke since 1996.

We live in a country where boatpeople are loathed and feared and mustered behind Ruddock’s (and now Vanstone’s) razor wire,

What, the system started by the Labor government?

where it seems all but impossible to rouse public concern over Australia’s atrocities against these most vulnerable human beings. Yet we’ve manned the barricades over . . . a boat full of sheep.

Who has 'manned the barricades' exactly?

The hundreds of men, women and children who drowned in the sinking of the fishing boat Siev X, between Indonesia and Australia, caused not a ripple of concern during a recent federal election.

Well, unseaworthy Indonesian boats that sink in Indonesian waters generally don't become huge election issues in Australia.

If anything, the tragedy – which may yet turn out to be a case of mass murder – only hardened our hearts post-Tampa, and helped Howard win another term.

One minute we are indifferent, the next we are apparently glad they were 'murdered'. The power of delusion is a remarkable thing.

Yet here we are with twisted knickers because of some sheep bobbing about in the Middle East. The nation huffs and puffs with indignation.

Again, who is this "we" who has huffed and puffed?

The compassion we deny "queue jumpers" and "illegals" is lavished on our live exports.

Uh, Phil, the sheep will end up on dinner plates or be put down.

Save the sheep! Bring home the sheep! And ministers in Canberra scramble to avoid the political backlash.

What 'political backlash'?

Australians make rude jokes about New Zealanders’ sexual relationships with sheep, but the truth is, when it comes to loving them, we make our trans-Tasman neighbours seem listless and lacking in libido. In many ways, we are as close to the sheep as is a manly shearer embracing a wether in his sweaty arms, with almost erotic intimacy. Which is why nobody, least of all those Muslim bastards in Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and the rest, were going to get away with cruelty to decent, Christian sheep from our great country.

This of course explains why we've given them to muslim-populated Eritrea. Idiot.

Not surprisingly, Niall Cook sees Adams' word-vomit as 'incisive and keenly-edged'.

Geek humour


On Labor and The Government

Scott Wickstein has some fine musings on these topics.


Sports betting tip: don't put your money on Namibia winning the rugby world cup.

23 October 2003

Quote of the day

Fuckin' soccer moms in Toyota vans. Don't take your crap life out on me.

- Cantinera

Weenies protest against Dubya becomes a dull fart

Seems the great masses of Australians didn't quite rise up against The Evil Prez as some hoped. Pretty much just some adolescent-wank screeching during his address from pro-tyrant Green idiots Bob Brown and Kerry Nettle (who's protest was about a free trade agreement, for fuck's sake), which Dubya steamrolled over, and the usual band of stinky, armpit-jungle dorks screaming at lines of police, not getting anywhere near The Evil Guy.

And Mark Latham - the glass-jawed hypocrite - didn't say a word and shook Bush's hand. You big, brave, blue-collar aussie warrior you!

The best quote from this whole affair has been noted by Paul Bickford:

Comment of the night on the ABC 7.30 report from some old geezer who'd driven down from Young to see the prez; "look at these clowns- they need a bath, and this idiot over here has a bath-ring in his nose; he can't blow it, and there's snot running down his face- what a dickhead".


Another great success for gun-control legislation

SYDNEY's wave of gun terror continued last night as a young couple were shot at during an attempted carjacking and a pistol was drawn during a fight.

But surely this can't be happening! There are laws which prevent this sort of thing!

Of course, no matter how useless gun control laws are, their failure will only lead to even more idiotic anti-gun measures.

Kicking Margot when she's down

The increasingly unhinged Margot Kingston cops a walloping from both Aaron Oakley and Evil Dan. Choice stuff.

An important question

Reader Dave Schipani asks.............

When Ah-nold takes office, California will become the second American
state to be run by a cast member of the movie "Predator." Which cast
member should be elected next?

1) Bald Black Guy
2) Latina Chica
3) Carl Weathers
4) Big Scary Indian
5) Al Pacino (you had to look fast)
6) Predator

My vote's for the Predator. He'll know how to deal with leftist dissenters, peacenicks and anti-gun wankers.

Ducati goes sexy-retro

After blowing it mightily in the aesthetic stakes with their new 999 and 749 - both uglier than a hatful of arseholes - Ducati have regained some styling cred by displaying three tasty new retro models which, while equipped with modern 1000cc engines and kit, nevertheless offer some serious retro charm. I find the Sport 1000 to be particularly yummy.

In other Duke news, they have come out with a limited-edition replica of the 998 used in Matrix Reloaded. Thankfully, the 998 had the classic "916" styling.

Personally, I think Ducati have completely lost it when it comes to cosmetics. The ST2/4 touring range are amazingly bland, the flagship 999/749s are butt-ugly compared to the stunning 916 design, and the new Multistrada is the most hideous looking stinkbeast Italy has given the two-wheeled world since the mafia goons at Bimota ceased production. And they're massively overpriced.

When it comes to Italian style, Aprilia are beating the competition hands-down. I saw the new RSV at Phillip Island, and let me tell you, that thing is sex on two wheels.

Then again, they're all Italian bikes, which means I'd never buy one. The Italians might be great at designing motorcycles, but they fall apart quicker than the French infantry. Drool over them, but when it comes to handing over your dollars, buy Japanese.

A notable omission

I see the Guardian is doing their Best British Blogs awards thingy. You notice that the word Samizdata does not appear anywhere.

See Perry? That's what you get for not showing due respect to your cultural betters.

Leftist hypocrisy over the Iraq war

Two excellent articles, the first by Tony Parkinson in The Age about snivelling hown-grown idiots protesting Dubya's visit:

When Bill Clinton addressed the Australian Parliament in November 1996, he was showered with applause, given a standing ovation, and besieged by MPs (Labor's Laurie Ferguson and Joel Fitzgibbon among them) clamouring for his autograph.

This adulation for a visiting US head of state was all the more remarkable considering the context for that visit.

In March that same year, Clinton had sent two warships steaming into the Taiwan Strait, risking a confrontation with China that might have thrown Australia's foreign policy into irreparable disarray. However, come the time of Clinton's arrival in Australia, any talk of the destabilising effects of untrammelled American power in Asia had evaporated. Bill and Hil' delivered the charm, and their audience duly melted. All was forgiven.

The second looks at leftist double-standards in the USA. More excellent work from Frontpage.

21 October 2003


Arrived back from Phillip Island yesterday. Beautiful weather for the entire trip on the way back. A fairly leisurely ride, taking about 9 hours. The crawl out of Phillip Island to Inverloch was as slow and dull as ever, but the rest of it was pretty cool. There were surprisingly few revenue collecting dickheads highway cops on the Victorian roads, which was a surprise.

As for the races, they were decent, but not spectacular. Arriving at the track on sunday morning, we were met by arctic blizzard conditions, which became warm sunshine by the time the MotoGP race came around. Gotta love that Victorian weather.

The best part of this year's event was the truly loud, now-unmuffled bikes. It's was the eerie growl of the Proton v-5 that gets the Oscar. A close runner up was the green machine: the Kawasaki might be a slow-as-fart bike, but the ear-splitting intake howl under acceleration was truly F1 in nature.

Oh, if Peter Batchelor is reading this, I should also mention that I exceeded the speed limit for the entire trip. As I will next time. And there aint nothing you can do about it you parasitic little turd. Kiss my ass.

Join the Solidarity brigade to Cuba!

Some local pro-Castro moonbats are doing their own little Haaj to the holy land;

The 21st Australia-New Zealand Work/Study Brigade will travel to Cuba in December. Organised annually by the Australia-Cuba Friendship Society, the brigade provides an opportunity for people to express solidarity with Cuba's struggle for an independent and socialist society. It is an opportunity to see the country from the Cuban people's point of view.

I guess they mean the people who aren't in prison and have been pre-approved for parlez-vous by party goons.

Cuba is unique in the Third World for its social achievements.

Those 'sanitoriums' for AIDS sufferers get rave reviews.

Cuba's free and universal health care and education systems are widely studied.

They worked for Pol Pot and Mugabe.

Cuba has eliminated homelessness and unemployment is amongst the lowest in the world.

They've also been pretty good at eliminating political dissent, freedom of speech, freedom to vote, freedom of assembly, freedom of worship and freedom to travel.

Great strides have been made in eliminating racial and sexual inequality.

Let's ask Cuba's homosexual population about this. Hang on, they all seem to be in prison.

For more details, phone contact Nick Rawson on 0414 691 732 or Flora Osorio on (03) 9470 5300.

Give Nick and Flora a ring, and tell them they're a bunch of cunts.

A fun poll for my readers

You win oz$30,000 to buy a new car with. Assume this money is tax free.

The question is: what four-wheeled vehicle would you buy?

The rough equivalent in other currencies (thanks to the currency converter):
USA: $21,000
Canada: $27,500
UK: £12,500
NZ: $35,000

The rules:
- You can spend more than the this amount if you wish, though obviously you'll be making up the difference yourself. (This isn't a fantasy scenario: please take into account your current financial situation)
- Pretend you don't have a vehicle right now (ie. you can't add money by selling your current vehicle)

If you spend less than this amount, the money must be used on accessories, insurance or fuel for the vehicle.

Send your answers to: tex {at} whackingday {dot} com

Shameless, imagination-free blogspace filler

Stolen from my friend Cantinera:

Current Clothes: Large, floppy red "surf circuit" t-shirt & biege cargo pants
Current Taste: vegemite toast
Current Hair: buzz-cut
Current Annoyance: back pain
Current Smell: none
Current thing I ought to be doing: a task for work.
Current Desktop Picture: the 2001 Kawasaki Ninja sportsbike lineup
Current Book you're reading: oh hell, a bunch of them
Current CD in CD Player: Mulholland Dr soundtrack
Current Refreshment: Coffee
Current Worry: A friend of mine who is ill

Food: tacos
Drink: orange juice
Color: none, depends totally on context
Album: don't know
Shoes: hybrid sneaker/boots from some chinese company. Comfy yet supportive...
Animal: Tiger
Movie: Heat
Song: "Magic Man" - Heart
Vegetable: carrot
Fruit: orange
Cartoon: Futurama

12 October 2003


As you will have noticed, I haven't posted much in the last few weeks. I'm busy, stressed, cranky and burnt-out.

Thankfully, in a few days I'll be going away for a week. Hooray. Replenish the juices and all that.

This site will not be updated until 21 or 22 October.

Take care folks,

9 October 2003


Switched offices at work today, due to fungal spores in my old work corridor. Hated that shitty old building anyway. Was without my computer all day and lotsa hectic removal operations. Compensated with a free beer at lunch, then spent the evening at a digital media training course.

The upshot is I'm too tired to blog tonight. See you in a bit.

8 October 2003

The List of Truth

1: Every person who drives a Subaru WRX is a fuckwit.

2: People who get rabid about the Holden vs. Ford issue are wankers.

3: People who don't like Americans are without exception people with a massive insecurity complex.

4: People who want to ban boxing are fuckwits. So are people who want to ban smoking.

5: Most "conservative" history movies are boring as batshit. I'd rather saw my fucking ears off than sit thru shit like "Gettysburg" or some John Wayne piece of crap. Speaking of Wayne, he was a hypocrite and a talentless dickhead who made nothing but crap movies.

6: At the ANU, I'm surrounded by assholes who have stickers on their cars which say shit like "No war for oil!" and "If you are reading this, you have stolen aboriginal land".

7: I have zero problem with abortion (I'm not one of these people who says 'abortion is bad, but we should allow it for pragmatic reasons').

8: I can't stand people who revolve their entire life around a single issue. As an example, I know people who select their holiday destinations on the basis that they have gun laws that they like. Get a life you sad cunts.

6 October 2003

Quote of the day

"shut up and blog more you lazy cunt"
- Scott Wickstein

OK, back now

Decided to take a few days off blogging due to exhaustion, lack of interest and some severe physical pain. I think I've simultaneously pinched 50% of my nerves, torn several ligaments and acquired the Ross River Virus.

On the upside, had a great day out today. Got driven in a brand-new Mitsubishi Pajero out to the one-horse town of Gundaroo, where I lunched at the Cork St Cafe, and consumed one of their awesome, award-winning pizzas. The dessert: a chocolate/almond flour-less cake. Yummy. A humorous site on the main street: a rustic building with the words "Gundaroo Literary Institute" - how cosmopolitan!

Lunch was followed up by a quick drive (in the pouring rain) thru the Canberra-region wineries, where I've never been.

The one we visited was the wonderfully named Dionysus Winery. A tiny outfit, but with some superb product. We were given a brief tour of the small facility by the charming proprietors Michael and Wendy, and given a sample of their exquisite, yet-to-be-bottled 2003 Merlot. We even purchased a couple of bottles of their available stock before making our way home.


I'm glad some people have way too much time on their hands. Welcome to Cat Town!

Thanks to Dan for the link.

For god's sake dude, RETIRE already

Evander Holyfield, once one of history's greatest heavyweight boxers, was beaten to a pulp yesterday by the ageing, bloated middleweight James Toney.

Evander's career is over. His dream of regaining the heavyweight title/s is over. His skills, strength and stamina have eroded to the point where he has become little more than a punching bag for the world's top fighters.

One can admire his guts and determination, but the sight of this once great athlete being beaten to a pulp over and over again is a sad one.

Evander, with all due respect and affection, you're finished. The time has come to quit before you become a vegetable.

Expat idiots

Paul Bickford brings us depressing news on recent activities of two of our worst exports: John Pilger and Helen Caldicott.

Vehicular temptations

Gave one of these a look-over yesterday. I want one. The Kia Sorento.


2 October 2003

Back in a jiffy

Busy as hell with work right now, should resume posting tomorrow.

1 October 2003

Paul McCartney is actually dead apparently

That would explain the quality of his musical output for the last thirty years.

But seriously, ya gotta love conspiracy kooks. McCartney really died in 1966 and was "replaced" by a Canadian military policeman named William Sheppard.


More esoteric lists

I'm a list addict. Sue me.

Six of the best cinematographers

Dante Spinotti (Heat, The Insider)
John Toll (The Thin Red Line, Almost Famous)
Conrad Hall (American Beauty, Road to Perdition)
Michael Ballhaus (Bram Stoker's Dracula, Gangs of New York)
Vittorio Storaro (Apocalypse Now)
Gordon Willis (The Godfather)

Five best post-WW2 heavyweights

1- Muhammad Ali
2- Joe Frazier
3- Larry Holmes
4- George Foreman
5- Joe Louis

Five underrated movies

Red Rock West
Thunderbolt & Lightfoot
The Grifters
The Beguiled

Three things Americans suck at

Making beer
Making motorcycles
Re-making British TV shows

Take the insanity test

Are you insane? Thanks to Zoopie for the link.

29 September 2003

Another Aussie World Champ

Congrats to Chris Vermeulen, 2003 Word Supersport Champion!!

Makes a nice change from that pompous French wanker Fabian Foret.

And congrats too to another aussie: Vermeulen's Honda team-mate Karl Muggeridge, who actually won last night's supersport race.

Aussies rock baybee.........

Good riddance

One of the worst ministers of his generation - Richard Alston - resigned today to collect his disgustingly large parliamentary retirement package.

This useless leech, who stumbled from one idiotic policy to another in his long tenure as communications minister (amongst them, his grand achievement in 'stopping porn on the internet'), will now suck on the public tit for the rest of his worthless life after contributing exactly nothing to Australian society for so many years.

Richard, do something useful for your country and have a fatal heart attack or something. We deserve no less.

Oh, there he is

If you're wondering where that paragon of left-wing crackpots - John Pilger - had gotten to, he's just written the lead article for the Stalinist rag The Green Left Weekly.

Another pack of jew-hating loons

I just stumbled across the website for The Electronic Intifada.

27 September 2003

Scorcese's fascinating mess

Just watched Gangs of New York on my big-ass home theatre setup.

It's odd the film was as enjoyable as it turned out to be, given the sloppy direction, incoherent narrative, poor editing, and the appalling, movie-destroying performance of Cameron Diaz.

What worked? Daniel Day-Lewis' portrayal of the demonic Bill The Butcher, the stunning production design, historical detail and cinematography, but best of all, Jim Broadbent's scene-stealing turn as William "Boss" Tweed.

Leo wasn't bad, but he was instantly forgettable, and the scenes between him and Diaz should have been euthanised.

Diaz really was terrible beyond belief. Every time she was on screen, you half-expected her to say "like, you know, whatever". She stuck out like a tarantula on a carrot.

It is perhaps less of a story than a series of disconnected sequences, as none of the story strands or moods are continued or developed for any length of time, and the conclusion is a weird half-baked blah, confusing story with historical context, doing justice to neither.

Give it a look. You'll like it so long as you don't expect too much. And try to watch it in widescreen on a very big screen if you can.

Let the mockery begin

Tim Blair's AFL team just got walloped by 50 points in today's grand final.

It's bad enough they have the gayest outfits in AFL, but Tim's Precious Magpies keep losing the big games.

Funny for the rest of us though. Hehehehe

Yobbo is a cunt!!!

He knows why. That fucker.

25 September 2003

Religious Quote Of The Day

Who was this Jesus anyway? According to most accounts, a troublemaking son of a carpenter who suffered from megalomania, ejected the money changers out of their gainful place of employment and encouraged his poorest followers to blow their months' budget to annoint his head wth expensive ointment.

- Jason Soon

Political Quote Of The Day

The Greens are a cancer on Australia, fertilised by the ideological sludge in the universities.

- Steve Edwards

Philosophical Quote of The Day

To guess is cheap. To guess wrong is expensive.

- Chinese proverb

Another pussy picture



Mladin makes it Four

Aussie Mat Mladin has won his fourth AMA Superbike Championship. The American riders - crybaby wankers for the most part - will squeal their titties off.

Why Suzuki doesn't take this guy to the world scene defies belief. He's so far ahead of Josh Hopkins and that wanker Kenny Roberts it's not funny.

New OzBlog

And it's a good'un: say hi to Red Horse Rainbow.

Leftie twits complain about charity

Bill Gates just handed over US$100mil to help out with AIDS in Africa, thereby doing more to solve the problem than every single leftist pinko twit on earth combined.

Naturally of course, The Guardian has a column talking about his "real motives".

Arnie writes

Das Terminator has written an article on the Californian economy. Or maybe one of his handlers wrote it. Whatever, it's pretty good.

A question for my readers

Q: What is the difference between The Green Left Weekly and Julius Streicher?

A: Buggered if I know

22 September 2003


I'm experiencing Death Flu.

Maybe I'll be fit tomorrow.

21 September 2003


This afternoon I got back from a great overnight ride to Mallacoota on the Victorian coast. The ZX9R proved itself yet again to be the perfect mount for fast, long road rides, and the new(ish) Sheepy Hollow seat cover meant I didn't get a sore arse. Here are two pics, the first is of the beautiful Mallacoota inlet, the second is of me & bike near the jetty. Click on each pic for the full-size version.

Otherwise, I got some work to do tonight, so bloggin' should be back to normal tomorrow.

Satan's UFO's

Thanks to Captain Kidneys for the heads-up on this wonderful kook site. Christian fundies take on Evil Aliens! Woo!

An encounter with greatness

Paul Bickford tells of his once-upon-a-time encounter with former Labor scumbag and Suharto-arse-licker Gareth Evans. It makes for mightily entertaining reading and is not the slightest bit surprising.

Looking for older whackings?

Wanna see my previous rants against lefty, commie, peacenick wankers, plus lots of fun stuff about motorcycles, music and movies?................ Click here for the full past whackings index


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