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Whacking Archive 14 September 2004 A great day for freedom
Excellent.
13 September 2004 I've been ill. I'm
better now.
-
Perry de Havilland, Samizdata
The World According to George Monbiot While in the midst of my last virus-induced vomiting fit, I had time to peruse George Monbiot's website. It's not an activity I'd recommend to healthy people.
Monbiot's mental powers may be on par with Inspector Dreyfuss, yet in today's world, Monbiot gets employed by broadsheets like The Guardian, saving the taxpayer the cost of keeping him medicated. Monbiot's worldview is an upchucked hodgepodge of dreary Marxist prophecy, Luddite pre-industrial fantasy, sub-Chomsky politics and ecological paranoia. Yet what sets Ol' Moonbat apart from his hate-the-world ideological comrades, is just how much he seems to enjoy wallowing in his own misery. While raving batheads like the ISO, radical Islamists and the Greenies are at least marching towards some nutty new dawn, George seems to spend most of his time saying we're fucked, and we deserve it. All that's left is to strip off our clothes and go hump fruit in the forest. There are three obsessions which seem to feed everything George writes: 1a-
Modern society is destroying the environment. 2a-
We are running out of food so everyone will starve to death. 3a-
the capitalist system exploits the third world and keeps it poor. That pretty much covers everything he writes. Let's look at some specifics. Take George on energy:
Gosh. Sounds like the end, don't it? I guess people with brains could point out several hundred examples of new products getting cheaper as a new market develops, though this seems a little beyond Monbiot. Or more likely, solutions scare Monbiot, as they tend to play havoc with his apocalypse fantasies. Think I'm being mean? Have a gander at his sociopathic ideas on environmental aesthetics:
Not surprisingly, Monbiot - horrified by the prospect of despoiling ecological aesthetics - has no problems with bludgeoning us all into becoming good, green, global citizens. He wants to ban private motor vehicles, air travel, stop the evils of advertising and tax corporations till they choke. We can't help the poor to grow GM crops to feed themselves, because GM food is, um, evil or capitalistic or something. Oh, and have I mentioned his...erm....interesting ideas about economics?
Yes, that's a real quote. It comes from this essay:
He might be on to something here. Well, except from all the actual progress which has taken place I guess.
It's kind of like saying that your average doctor believes in immortality.
Uh, what? Oh wait, here's the money quote:
Lovely bloke. Providing for your children, consuming for enjoyment and travelling to see friends is evil, but dismantling modern society for the sake of ecological aesthetics is the new moral imperitive. Not surprisingly, Monbiot drops his moral objections where it suits him. He flies the Evil Skies to give international lectures. He travels by car when he needs to. Global corporations and the mental pollution of advertising are A-OK when they help to sell his books. And the bloke seems rather keen to appear on the idiot box at every opportunity. Monbiot builds his ideological comforts on the lives of others, discards his ideals when they prove incovenient, then has the nerve the lecture the rest of us on responsible citizenship. I've finally worked
out what I'm reading: this is Mein Kampf on acid.
"Suicide-bombers are evil, but...." The Green Left Weekly gives us their view on the Jakarta bombing:
Natually, when Islamic lunatics conduct their slaughter, the Israelis aren't without blame....
And while we're on the subject on Israel and the Green Left Weekly, check out terrorist-loving hag Rihab Charida's report from Ramallah. Oh,
and as for the Beslan massacre, you'll
never guess where the Green Left's sympathies lie.
I gots me a hankering for a Holden HSV Maloo ute
Firebreathing
performance, great looks, nice interior, and I can stick my bikes in the
back.
Crazy Joe Vialls' reaction to the Beslan massacre and the Jakarta bombing: psychological warfare and mini-nukes launched by the Zionist cabal in New York.
15 August 2004 I've
finally updated the Spleen page.
Iran-Iraq to destroy USA & Israel (sayeth Crazy Joe) Crazy Joe Vialls doesn't give up. The poor fellow hasn't yet seen any of his brilliant predictions come to pass. These have included; - The Russians would wipe out Israel and the USA. - Filthy Zionist agents would invade America. - Filthy Zionists would invade Arab oil fields. - Filthy Zionists would slaughter thousands of people in Miami. - The fearsome Islamic cleric Al-Sadr in Iraq would destroy the US invaders. - The fearsome Saddam would drive the Americans out of Iraq. - The might of Arab Air Power (stop laughing dammit) would destroy the Israelis and Americans. - The Zionist North Korean regime (no really) would nuke Los Angeles Not to be deterred from his brilliant geopolitical analysis, he has now predicted that American forces in the middle East will be wiped out by a fearsome Iraq-Iran coalition, who are now apparently armed with big scary rockets....
And the the Israelis should be really scared too;
Joe
seems to have a fetish for Arab nukes. I think he's just trying to get
Richard Neville to shag him.
A few days back I test-rode two very different motorcycles: Kawsaki's massively powerful ZX-12, and Honda's all-purpose Transalp 650. Kawasaki ZX-12 Let's get this out of the way: the ZX-12 is the fastest production vehicle on earth.
Yes, it's faster than a Lamborghini Murcielago. No, I'm not kidding. It goes from 0-100kph in 2.9 seconds. It has a real, measured top speed of over 300kph. And that's in stock-standard, on-the-road condition. The Lambo will cost you $600k. The ZX12 will cost you $20k. Unfortunately, beyond the thrill of the straight-line acceleration, I didn't particularly enjoy riding the ZX-12, despite my soft spot for big roadburners. The big Kwak is very uncomfortable for this class of bike, with too much weight on the wrists and a hard seat. The bike steered well but the front end felt strange, meaning I didn't feel secure in corners. The light-switch throttle made city riding a jerky, irritating experience. On the up-side, it looks horn, sounds great, the mirrors & fairing work well and the finish is top-notch. Ultimately, the ZX-12 is in a strange no-mans land between the new generation of nimble-but-powerful sports bikes, and big, comfy sports-tourers. It's also expensive to buy, and you'll have to own your own rubber plantation to keep the thing in tyres. A great autobahn bike, it simply feels out of place everywhere else.
After riding a Triumph Tiger a few months back, I was keen to test Honda's entry into the dual-purpose market. Dual-purpose bikes are not "dirt bikes" (they are too heavy for that), but rather bikes oriented toward road use, but with the capability to tackle dirt roads and sand where the need arises. I actually enjoyed riding the Honda more than the Triumph. The Honda's 650cc v-twin engine has enough grunt for the highway and most importantly for overtaking duties. The ergonomics are great, with the high-wide handlebars making for a real feeling of control for traffic, cornering and dirt duties. Tight U-turns are a cinch. The clutch and gearbox are smooth, the seat seems comfy, the wind protection is very good. And as is typical for Honda, the instrumentation, build-quality and finish are top-notch. There's a bunch of accessories to go with it too: hard luggage, heated grips, etc. If
I get around to buying a dual-purpose bike to do my around-Aus ride one
day, the Transalp will be very hard to beat in the value-for-money stakes.
11 August 2004 Fresh Nutty Dick Richard Neville has a new "essay" up. It's the usual deranged and distempered prose, except there's something rather amusing this time: Richard throws in a few rants about "mini nukes". You know, those frightening, non-existent weapons the Americans aren't blowing us up with. To my overseas readers: Richard isn't just some conspirazoid headcase on the web. This idiot is actually a well-known and respected media commentator. Richard might well end up as crazy as his fellow "mini nukes" loony, Joe Vialls.
Updated stuff I've added a whole bunch of info to the about page.
9 August 2004 Butler resigns as Tasmanian Governor Unfortunately, he'll probably be sucking on the public tit in the form of a massive pension for the rest of his life. I
would say something comforting like "it beats having to put up with
the stupid git in public life", except it didn't work for Malcolm
Fraser.
John Hawkins is right on the money: soccer sucks
The problem I have with soccer isn't just the game, it's the fans, who are all-too-often obsessive, humourless bores who simply cannot fathom how anyone could fail to have an interest in this shit game. Yes,
Les
Murray and Johnny Warren, I'm talking about you.
Attention Los Angeles residents Crazy
Joe has discovered
that you're about to get nuked by the...er....Zionists in, um, North
Korea.
General Tommy Franks: honorary aussie
Check out this brilliant photo of Sydney Harbour. Thanks
to Slatts for
the link.
The current collection of sociopathic lefty bluster is particularly energetic... - Rohan Pearce blathers "Michael Moore's media critics are the liars".
Not surprisingly, Pearce The Dickbrain chooses not to mention David Kopel. - The greenies are still in love with one particular mass-murderer...
Gee.
Sounds like paradise. Must be why thousands of them throw themselves onto
rafts and risk drowning to get to the USA.
3 August 2004
-
Seymour Skinner, The Simpsons
Can anyone recommend a cheap motel in Sydney? Proximity to the city is probably out of the question, but being short walking distance to a train station would be good enough. Or,
in the unlikely event one of my readers actually runs a motel, I will
gladly offer plenty of cheap publicity in return for a discount.....
Some google searches through which people have found this site...
The infamous Hebrew Hellraisers
If only
Behind what?
Heh
One of aus.politcs more frequent posters goes by the handle of "The Man". Today, he shares his latest brainwave.....
Not
surprisingly, 'The Man' has announced he will be voting for Mark Latham.
1: The Americans did not "arm Saddam". The peace-loving French, Russians and Chinese did that. 2: The CIA did not put Saddam in power. 3: There was never an Arab nation of "Palestine". 4: Brian Cox made a much better Hannibal Lecter than Hopkins did. 5: Formula 1 is the world's dullest motorsport. 6: Truck racing is the world's dumbest motorsport. 6: Synchronised swimming is not a sport. Ballroom dancing is not a sport. Aerobics is not a sport. Chess is not a sport. Figure skating is not a sport. Rythmic gymnastics is not a sport. 7:
Basketball is a sport, but that doesn't stop it from sucking. 28 July 2004
-
Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons
I've
fiddled with the sidebar on the left, and updated my "about"
page.
If
you're new to this site, check out my mini-essay on Pizza
& Capitalism.
Favourite TV characters, part 2...
Character:
Lieutenant
Kif Kroker
27 July 2004 Favourite TV characters, part 1...
Character:
Simon
Adebisi
Played with surprising restraint and sly humour by former model Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Simon Adebisi - a Nigerian-born cop-killer - ruled over the experimental prison wing 'Emerald City' for four seasons. A grand schemer of rare cunning, utter ruthlessness and eerie charisma, Adebisi rarely got his hands dirty in his desire to control Emerald City's drug trade. While occassionally exploding into a violent rage, Adebisi's gift was in the plot and counter-plot, the turning of one prisoner against another. Not
only a great character, he was used brilliantly by the writers/directors,
and was a key ingredient in making OZ such a compelling, bloody treat. Great
little piece
by Alex Robson.
For
those inclined to believe anything they see in Farenheit 9/11,
I suggest reading through Dave
Kopel's long and devastating demolition of this supposed "documentary".
Harleys suck. Actually, Harleys are kinda cool, because they prove you can succeed no matter how bad your product is, so long as you have the right marketing skills. .....Engines which couldn't pull a lesbian off your sister.....
.....soggy suspension which is deliberately designed not to work (I'm talking about the horizontally slanted rear shocks, so designed because they look cooler that way)..... .....build quality which would shame even the Italian manufacturers (Harley's big, anemic engines have the worst stress tolerances in the motorcycling world, not to mention the shit finish and muddy brakes)..... ....handling which resembles a chaff bag filled with custard. You can forget going around corners on these things: even if the crap suspension and crummy overweight chassis was up to it, they have zero ground clearance and a wider turning circle than a bus...... ...minimal luggage-carrying capacity & terrible passenger seats.... ....they're ugly. To all those people who ride chromed-up Harleys: do you have any idea how stupid you look? ....comfort is much overrated. Apart from the shit suspension sending every bump directly up your spine and through your kidneys, you have crap seats to deal with. And a bolt-upright riding position produces the not-fun "wind-sock" effect.... ...ludicrously overpriced. These bikes would be a rip-off at half the price. If you must have a cruiser, buy Japanese: better engines, suspension, reliability, comfort and value..... So, it's safe to say that I don't "get" Harleys. If the only places you ride are long, smooth highways with no bends, then a Harley would make sense. Personally,
I'd rather eat hair. If I wanted a slow, boring bike, I'd buy a scooter.
At least they can go around corners, and I'd have the money left over
to buy a real bike. The tree-hugging, freedom-hating stalinists are in fine form this week.... - Coca-Cola is really evil or something. - they're wetting themselves over Michael Moore's Fiction-mentary. However, they don't seem too keen to discuss Dave Kopel's demolition of the movie, beyond saying...
Well actually dumbass, he's hardly rebutted anything in Kopel's essay. Go click this link: Kopel has listed Moore's responses... there aren't too many of them. I especially note the lack of response to Kopel's dissection of Moore's looney Unocal pipeline conspiracies. Then there's this howler...
I notice Moore hasn't come good with this promise, which would probably leave him $500,000 poorer if his lack of responses to Kopel is anything to go by. Note how many times Kopel has explicitly labelled Moore's claims as lies, and how few times Moore refutes it. Given
the Green Left's love of Castro's totalitarian state, it's no surprise
they love a movie like this. Leftism and reality rarely meet. Some sorry-ass, Castro-loving looney has set up a Moore-loving website 'Who's with Michael Moore?'. Some of the dorks in the comments are provide amusement:
Castro
locking up political opponents is A-OK, but people flying flags is horrifying. 20 July 2004 Ms Castel has a couple of excellent posts up right now after a brief absence. The first deals with religion and the followers thereof. The
second is
a review of the mesmerising prison drama OZ. A show where
physically, mentally, and emotionally, everyone is fucking everyone else
up the ass. In an effort to prevent the terrifying 'crimes' such ticket scalping, a collection of local government statist pricks wants to give park rangers the power to search bags.
Let me get this right, I'm in a public place, I'm not conducting any criminal activity, but some little prick official has the right to search my bag, and I'm going to forcibly removed and fined if I say no? Go forth and multiply, you commie scum. Any
park ranger trying to search my person is going to get punched in the
face. You have been warned.
Honestly, I can't say I've ever seen a scene with him where he didn't appear to be A) constipated, B) trying out for a hair gel commercial, or C) looking at his cue cards. Yes, I've seen Bugsy. I've seen Bonnie and Clyde. I've seen that piece of crap with Natalie Wood in it that Elia Kazan directed. The man cannot act. I've seen Dennis Rodman turn in better performances than this putz. Beatty is so jarringly out-of-place, regardless of setting, script quality, co-actors or film genre. His only comedic skills are unintentional. His dramatic roles are like Krusty The Klown playing Travis Bickle. His romantic scenes have all the grace of Anna Nicole-Smith dry-humping Snoop Doggy Dog. He doesn't even have the cheesy bad-actor appeal of a William Shatner. Not
surprisingly, Beatty is a multiple-Oscar winner. 19 July 2004
-
Zapp Brannigan, Futurama
Still pining for their lost hero Saddam Hussein, the Green Ones still have their brave poster-boy thug in Havana to look up to:
Awwww. Paradise indeed. Well, so long as you're not an advocate of democracy or critical of Castro, or are gay, or want to own private property, or want to leave Cuba. As
for the ungrateful little bastards who try to swim to Miami to escape
this workers' paradise, well, they are labelled as terrorists. A
map of the world,
from an Aussie perspective. Report: Israel's 'first strike' plan against Iran ready
Excellent. With most of the planet turning into Islamofascist-appeasing wimps, it's good to see that the Israelis - as usual - understand what needs to be done in dealing with these prehistoric savages. (courtesy
of the delightful Kathy) Fuck
Mamdouh Habib. Little Talibani sack of shit. I hope he dies. Fuck him
and his family.
Media Watch windbag David Marr used almost the entire length of this week's program to inform us of a horrifying truth: the Today show one morning showed 21.5 minutes of ads instead of 16. Ye Gods!!!!!! Yes, horrible. This is apparently a violation of a voluntary code of practice. Marr finds this disgraceful, and wants lots of lovely government intervention to prevent us from watching more ads, coz as we all know, we need to government to protect us from having to choose if we want to watch ads or not. I'm so glad this cretin gets to use $1.2 million of my money a year, aren't you? Fucking tax-sucking
parasite wanker. The sooner the ABC is privatised, the better. If people
think this ponce is providing a useful service, let them pay for it.
Looking for older whackings? Wanna see my previous rants against lefty, commie, peacenick wankers, plus lots of fun stuff about motorcycles, music and movies?................ Click here for the full past whackings index |
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Reading
his collected thoughts reminded me of the final scene in one of the Pink
Panther movies, where Herbert Lom's character - driven mad by his
hatred of Clouseau - lies straightjacketed in a padded room, writing messages
on the walls with a crayon between his toes. 
Is
Warren Beatty the worst actor of all time?
