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Live Whacking Archive
click "Live Whacking" button for the latest entries

9 March 2005

Human waste

For the benefit of my overseas readers, let me tell you about some recent local events.

Some days ago in the Sydney suburb of Macquarie Fields, a young thug and his two friends stole a car, the driver crashed into a tree and kills his two passengers.

The local residents decide this is all the cops' fault, and start rioting, during which - amongst other things - firebombs are thrown at police. Police then arrest some trouble makers, which causes more rioting (apparently, the folks were upset by the police's lack of 'respect').

While all this is going on, the driver - serial hoodlum Jesse Kelly - is a fugitive from police, though he was kind enough to return to bash a local man who told the truth about the car accident.

Such lovely white trash they have in Macquarie Fields.

Anyway, the usual gang of leftoids are crying about "social conditions" which cause criminal behaviour, and the spineless police commissioner is busy trying not to upset anybody.

It was against this background that the Green Left Weekly gives us this interview with Peter Perkins, a senile resident of the area and grandfather of the poor, misunderstood Mr. Kelly. It displays all the symptoms of the left-progressive pathology:

My wife Barbara and I have lived here for 20 years and we know most of the community of 1-2000, including the young people who are in revolt against police harassment. Our 20-year-old grandson, Jesse Kelly, is being hunted by police and has been falsely branded by the media as a dangerous criminal.

Awwww, the poor bugger, being denied the freedom to steal, bash and kill people.

Jesse and his friends are popular among other local youth. They were renting a rundown private house from a speculator and it had become a sort of gathering place for youth. They played their music and played football outside. All the youth from the neighbourhood used to go there. Many of the young homeless kids were fed there and given beds for the night. Some of these youth may have been involved in petty crime, but not all.

The young people here are loyal to their community, such as it is. “MFB”, which stands for Macquarie Fields Boys, is what they call themselves. It gave them a self-esteem that sustained them in a tough life.

They had respect for the community and they understood the harsh predicament the community was in. For example, they looked after young kids who couldn’t get social security, protected them from police harassment and helped a bit around the neighbourhood.

Even the proceeds of their petty crimes were shared around. None of them lived the high-life.

Damn, the poor boy is practically Robin Hood. And get a load of this:

Many young people here don’t see it as morally wrong to steal from those who have more than them in order to survive. They simply have no real alternative.

Some steal cars simply to get around because there is no public transport after 8pm and very limited services on Sundays.

Public transport as an excuse for theft. That's a first, even for these idiots.

Jesse and the two boys who were killed had casual jobs lined up in the Royal Easter Show. So they took jobs when they could get them. But they couldn’t meet the impossible requirements to get unemployment benefits. There simply aren’t the job interviews here that they have to list on their social security forms.

The "impossible requirements" for unemployment benefits includes actually looking for work. The horror.

Do society a favour: if you see Jesse Kelly on the street, run the fucker over.


A welcome, long overdue

I've added Val Prieto's excellent Castro-hating blog to my links list.

There's no better site dedicated to exposing this mass-murdering monster, and the western leftie scum who support and apologise for him.

Keep it coming Val, you are performing an invaluable service.


A beautiful thing to watch

Things are going well in Iraq, and Niall Cook is throwing a spazz about it.


Flying Pig Moment

Hugh Mackay has actually written a good column on parental responsibility and TV violence.

I'll be buggered......................


Change of heart

A few days ago I mentioned how I was about to buy a postie bike.

I've changed my mind.

I had an opportunity to test one in urban light traffic conditions. While the engine was fine and it was very comfy, the clutchless-manual gearshift was a nightmare. Every gearshift results in a huge 'jolt' unless you switch the throttle completely off, which slows your momentum.

I guess you could get used to it, but I'm no longer interested in spending my own money on one as a commuting machine.


3 March 2005

He's baaaack

Give you one guess who wrote this:

Terrorist Gas Attack on Australian Airport

Federal Government mounts covert 'Proof of Concept' biochem attack on unsuspecting airline staff and passengers. So where and when will the live 'Terrorist' gas attack be launched?

Yep, it's President Kang. All Hail Kang!! Joe Vialls.


Recent silence

Been busy. Back with more soonish.

Oh, have I mentioned how much I hate summer?

In other fascinating developments, today I purchased a bunch of stuff for my bike:

Oh, and I'm buying one of these tomorrow.

My beloved z1000 is going to become exclusively a weekend toy rather than a daily commuting machine. I've ordered a full Ohlins upgrade for it & I'm ditching that ugly-ass Ventura luggage rack.

Why piss away a stallion on donkey duties?

The new commuting toy will pay for itself in less than a year based on fuel, tyre & servicing costs. They're fun to ride too................


Blogger question

So, where's Bailz? Hasn't drunk himself into a new liver has he?


Thales would be pleased

When you've been working outside on a bloody hot day, and yer sweating like a pig, is there anything better than stepping into an airconditioned room and drinking an entire jug of ice water?


21 February 2005

Quote of the day

Rather than let them alarm you, ask yourself this: do you think people who can't tell you whether it will rain next Wednesday are really capable of building models that tell you what the climate will be like 100 years from now?

- Alan Wood, in The Australian


Ambassador Duke has left the building

Hunter S. Thompson is dead.

In his lucid moments, he could be a great writer. Unfortunately, these were few and far between. Sad it had to end the way it did.



I'll get this out of the way right now: Currency Lad was right: Collateral rocks.

The best thriller to come out of Hollywood in years. You've probably all heard about the plot. What I can tell you is just why it's so damned good.

The performances are knockouts. A never-better Tom Cruise shines as the killer-for-hire Vincent, while Jamie Foxx is the real star as the repressed-soul cabbie, Max. It's the best acting performance I've seen in a movie in ages.

While these two leads are the core of the film, other performances are memorable despite limited screen time: Jada Pinkett-Smith as a prosecutor, Mark Ruffalo as the narcotics detective who slowly figures out what is happening. Javier Bardem as the cultured, sinister drug lord. Best of all the smaller roles is Barry Shabaka Henley as the jazz club owner, who shares a gorgeous scene with Cruise and Foxx.

The beautiful nightime photography and music create an entrancing atmosphere which lends itself to both character development and action sequences. It also heralds a landmark milestone in movie making: for the first time, digital video looks sensational.

The narrative, despite an overall b-movie plot structure, is a triumph. The action and suspense slowly builds towards the movie's extended climax, yet the thrills never come at the expense of character. There are so many small moments of sublime acting, particularly from Foxx, you really savour every scene. Action scenes are not telegraphed by crap music, and often unfold in ways you wouldn't expect. The whole movie just feels way above the norm in almost every aspect, even when it strays into familiar territory. This aint no quickly-forgotten Saturday-night testosterone thriller.

Director Michel Mann is absolutely on-form here. One of the few directors who can create genuinely intelligent works which appeal both to the auteur crowd, as well as the popcorn-chewing seat-fillers. When he fires (Heat, The Insider and this one), there isn't a better director on the planet.

Collateral proves that a movie can be both a great work of art, and sensational, knockout entertainment at the same time.

This you gotta see.


Not for kids

If you've never seen this show, check it out:

Be warned though, it's a little.......disturbing.


Yobbo, this one's for you

Something from a recent motorcycle expo:

Time to take up motorcycling, eh Sam?


Little Green Adolfs

Yep, there's nothing the Green Left Weekly loves as much as an ideologically correct mass-murderer.

Ernesto “Che” Guevara was murdered on October 9, 1967 — shot in the head by a Bolivian soldier in the presence of the CIA. When the world’s powerful cheered the brutal murder of the anti-imperialist and revolutionary socialist fighter, they hadn't considered that his murder would transform Che into a symbol of the global struggle against injustice. Since then his ideas and example have inspired countless others to join the struggle. Nowhere is this more clear now than in Venezuela.

How wonderful. The arse-rimming continues...

A central leader of the Cuban revolution, Che fought for the liberation of the oppressed, poverty stricken and exploited for the rest of his life. He opposed the Vietnam War, and supported the civil rights movement in the United States.

That's nice lads. As I recall he also called for the entire population of Cuba & the USA to be exterminated in a nuclear war, murdered a bunch of peasants, and set up Cuba's secret police and detention system which imprisons political opponents and homosexuals.

If the Green Left were around in WW2, it easy to guess which world leader they would have looked up to. Hitler, after all, met every criteria to be supported by them:

- nutty environmentalist beliefs
- centrally-controlled economy
- anti-democratic
- promised to get rid of the "Jewish lobby"
- party control of media and public assembly
- gun control

Yep. The Green Left are cissy, unarmed heirs to the Nazi party. You think it an unfair comparison? Then explain to me why.


Elsewhere at Little Green Adolfs

- the greenies are whinging about the government's plans to end compulsory student unionism:

We believe that the government has no right to interfere in how students organise on campus. How could an anti-student government be trusted with any decision on behalf of students, let alone how we choose to fight its rightwing agenda!


Nelson’s rhetoric about future choices in universities really means a choice between a degree in corporate propaganda at McUniversity or warfare engineering at the Halliburton Institute of Technology.

The Little Green Adolfs see no contradiction between student choice and enforced unionism. Commies, as always, know what's good for everyone else.

- a reprint of an old interview with the Nation of Islam race-kook Malcolm X, in which he gives us this brilliant predicition:

It is impossible for capitalism to survive, primarily because the system of capitalism needs some blood to suck.


It's only a matter of time in my opinion before it will collapse completely.

Note: this interview is from 1965.

Hmmm, maybe it really is going according to plan, and Malcolm X thought Elijah Muhammad's Spaceship was about to bring capitalism to its knees.

- some charming poetry about Iraqis:

Bomb me humanly
Terrorise me with democracy
Mcdonaldise me when I hunger.

Being 'terrorised' by democracy and being fed with actual food. Will the horrors of American occupation never cease?


Science, Islamic-style

Alan E. Brain brings us this fascinating piece of scientific reasoning from the Arab world.

When, oh when, will this psychotic religion join the rest of humanity in the 21st century?

(PS. Alan, you up for a cheap Asian lunch in Dickson?)

15 February 2005

Quote of the day

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

- Robert A. Heinlein



My birthday today. Took the day off work and did very little, other than go to a scooter shop to test ride an Italjet Dragster (see below).

If anyone wants to be nice and get me an Amazon or BN gift voucher, that'd be great.


Cágate, hijo de puta

My colleague Alex Robson gave me the heads-up on this particularly disgusting development at the Australian National University:

For your amusement - attached is a flyer urging students to study the Spanish language at ANU, which I discovered this morning in Melville Hall while providing enrolment advice to new students.

Imagine - this is how the university tries to market itself to new students!

Charming. I e-mailed Alex and asked if this was for real. Sadly, it was:

It was prominently displayed on a board at the Faculty of Arts section of student enrolment activities. There is absolutely no doubt that it was placed there by faculty staff, since other advertising material surrounded it.

There is a good chance that *every* new student in *every* faculty of this university, as well as exchange students and postgraduate students, would have seen this when they came to enrol.

However, now I have torn it down - so the Faculty of Arts can go fuck themselves.

Alex also sent thru an alternative recruitment poster:

The comparison will of course make the limp-wristed crowd very upset.

The only difference between Hitler and Guevara is that Che got shot before he could do as much damage. Not that this would have stopped a bunch of dickhead academics idolising him. Fucking parasites.


Test ride: Italjet Dragster 180

The EU's new emission laws have pretty much killed off the bigger-bore European 2-stroke scooters.

I got a chance today to have a brief squirt on the Italjet Dragster, a pure "sports scoot" with around 9,400kms on the clock.

Eh, I wasn't as impressed as I expected. It was the first time the thing had been switched on since Christmas for starters, and the tyres were under-inflated. Taking those things into account, what was it like?

It wasn't that much faster than the more "boring" Sym Euro I just tested. Higher top speed and quicker acceleration than most scoots, which is useful, and soggy tyres aside it seemed to have firm "sporty" suspension. It has those stupid "reverse" brakes (ie. left lever activates the front), though they felt very good.

The biggest problem with a scoot like the Dragster is that it's stuck in no-mans land: it doesn't have the practicality of other scoots, and doesn't have the performance of a "real" motorbike.

There is very little storage space, no shopping-bag hook, hard seats and no luggage units available.

Italjets also have a poor reputation for reliability. Factoring that in, I can't really see any reason to get the Dragster. An Asian 150cc 4-stroke scooter will give you only slightly less performance and greatly enhanced comfort and practicality, not to mention much higher build quality. The Dragster looks like shit up close. Crappy quality plastic fittings and dull paint. Bleh.

Worth a ride, but not worth buying.


Revisionism: rethinking the Honda scooter

Last week I took another test ride of the Honda @125 I rode a while back. I was not impressed the second time around.

Having punted the 125 on mostly open highway, its flaws were mostly hidden or attributed to the fact I still hadn't developed proper scooter-riding technique.

This time, I concentrated on more gnarly, traffic-infested narrow urban environs.

The seat is still comfy, the scoot still finished beautifully and the top speed (around 95kph) is still fine. There's plenty of storage space and the switchgear is quality stuff.

Some problems became apparent. To start with, the suspension is dreadful, with small bumps upseting the scoot's composure quite badly. Not talking big bumps either: the small bump going into a driveway would have made me crash had I been going slightly faster. All scoots have basic suspension not meant for choppy ground, but this was really bad.

The scoot is also slower than a crippled pig in the acceleration stakes. The top speed is fine, but it takes an eternity to get there, which makes picking a gap in traffic a hazardous experience. The highly restrictive exhaust system may be at fault here.

Finally, the brakes are godawful: a stupid "reverse" dual-braking system makes for awful low-speed riding - such as around roundabouts, where you'd normally use the rear brake as a kind of defacto clutch. I never seemed to know which was the best brake to use. It is a stupid system Honda need to jettison pronto. It adds nothing to safety and makes riding much harder than it should be.

If the Honda had a less restrictive exhaust, better springs and normal brakes, it would be an easy scoot to recommend. Unfortunately, it doesn't, so I can't.


Oh, cry me a river already

My opinion has not changed one iota from before: fuck Mamdouh Habib and his asshole family.

I don't give two shits what happens to talibanist assholes, or those who support them.

Our government owes this prick no apologies whatsoever.

I know some of you won't agree with me, but you can go bite my ass.


Enter whining

George Monbiot - enterting another year of perpetual gloom - is telling us how terrified we should be about global warming.

It's Monbiot's standard "the-modern-world-will-kill-us-all" drool. I mention it because it reminds me of a comment I left on another blog: "global warming" ties with creationism as the ultimate non-falsifiable hypothesis.

Hotter than normal weather? = proof of global warming.
Colder than normal weather? = proof of global warming.
Rising oceans? = proof of global warming.
Non-rising oceans? = proof of global warming.

Is global warming scaremongering the "population bomb" of the new century? I know people in the environmental movement - people of otherwise great intellect and sober tempraments - who regard Dr. Paul Ehrlich's crackpot theories as gospel despite the fact that the silly wanker has been wrong about pretty much everything for over 40 years.

Global warming is to the environmentally paranoid what Jews are to conspiracy theorists and satan is to religious fundamentalists: the nebulous, self-evident, non-existent boogeyman for all the world's ills.

The fact that your proponents get to write articles in broadsheet newspapers and have PhDs after their names, doesn't stop a crackpot theory from being a crackpot theory.

For fuck's sake. Go have a beer and calm down, you silly bloody wankers.


I realise I shouldn't....

...but it's too much fun.

Here's some of the brilliant predictions Joe Vialls has blessed us with over the last three years. Enjoy!...........

If the Jewish-American elite really wants to force an end game in the Middle East, Vladimir Putin now appears to be ready and waiting

Apart from the Jewish Lobbies in Washington, the only unqualified [and thus incredibly stupid] support for a strike against Iraq has come from the Australian Government – located at the bottom of the world and completely out of touch as usual. The way things stand at present a strike in the short term looks extremely unlikely, but not impossible. Any American servicemen obliged to invade Iraq at any time in the future on behalf of the Jewish State, would do well to keep a weather eye open for well-armed angry Russians.

20 Aug 2002


Israel Plans Blitzkrieg to Capture Arab Oil Fields

30 January 2002


It seems likely that David Hicks will be released into Australian custody sometime during the next few months, in order to be tried on some trumped-up charge around October 2002

30 Jan 2002


America Creeps Slowly Towards Paramilitary coup d'etat

What will happen next is speculative, but must now include the real possibility of a transitional paramilitary administration if the lobbies continue to control the White House and Capitol Hill, and thus continue to violate the American Constitution. For the first time in American history the Administration and Congress have been put on notice by those tasked with protecting the American Constitution – The US Military, whose members take their personal oaths very seriously. Watch this space.

1 June 2002


Torpedo Attack on MV Limburg Causes Panic in Washington
"Invade Iraq And We'll Sink Your Tanker Fleet!"

Using the best principles of unconventional warfare, someone has just warned America that if the Zionists attack the Middle East, they in turn [ whoever they are] will make damn sure that the pillaged oil never reaches America. Never mind defending the Strait of Hormuz or the Bab el Mandeb you fools, how do you think you going to get the stolen crude oil back to north America?

11 October 2002


So while the very small American force stands facing the open gates leading into the heart of Baghdad itself, with four million armed Iraqis in front and 100,000 armed Iraqis behind, its members might care to glance across to their right flank. Not very far away is the border with Iran, and if the mood swings less than a single degree, 500,000 armed Iranians could be on top of the American invaders in less than a single week.

6 april 2003


Even as we speak, forensic experts in Baghdad are working on a full-size Play Doh model of Saddam, based on one of his four known doubles, who is currently hanging upside down on a nearby meat hook. When the time is right, Wolfowitz will triumphantly unveil "Saddam's" body in the Baghdad Morgue, and claim victory for New York and the New World Order. Hurrah!

24 July 2003

First Tacit American Admission of Defeat in Iraq

20 Oct 2003


Arab Strike Jets Ready to Attack Israel
Saudi Arabia and Syria Checkmate Zionist Oil Grab


Saudi Arabia and Syria have quietly relocated their primary strike aircraft within easy attack range of Israel, meaning the end game is fast approaching.

18 September 2003


Russia Ready to Vaporize the Jewish State
And then kick America out of the Eastern Hemisphere’s oilfields


When the end finally comes for Israel, it will all be over in microseconds. Flying faster than rifle bullets,
the Sunburns will approach Tel Aviv and Haifa at twice the speed of sound, detonating in blinding white
200 Kiloton flashes designed to instantly transform animal vegetable and mineral into heat and light.”


Russia has deliberately sent a number of unmistakably harsh diplomatic signals that the days of the Zionist crusaders are numbered


Put simply, America is now completely broke. The U.S. dollar is falling like a stone and unemployment is climbing through the roof. Most of America’s manufacturing capacity was shifted years ago to “cheap labor” countries overseas, and there is no practical way of getting it back.


Vladimir Putin hammers the final nail into Israel’s coffin

16 Nov 2003


America Commits Suicide in Iraq


The bottom line is that Cheney, Wolfowitz and Rumsfeld have taken the brakes off a giant million-man Shi’ite war machine called the Mehdi Army, and all Moqtada al-Sadr has to do now to start it rolling, is turn the ignition key. Remember, the Shi’ite Mehdi Army brackets all American exfiltration routes south towards Kuwait, which is the only way out for 110,000+ American servicemen.

Exactly when Moqtada al-Sadr will pounce is hard to say. He may start attacking convoys within weeks, or he might take the view that it would be better to wait a few months and let the northern Sunni counter-insurgency teams further weaken American military resolve. Either way, Moqtada al-Sadr gets the pick of all American convoys trying to leave Iraq in a hurry, which to borrow an old military term, means an incredibly “target rich environment”. Do you remember the awesome devastation on the “Highways of Death” leading out of Kuwait during Gulf War One? Just like that, but substitute American bodies for the Iraqi bodies you saw there thirteen years ago.


...the deadly danger posed by Moqtada al-Sadr’s vengeful million-man Shi’ite Mehdi Army, which has the easy ability to cut large chunks of the American military in Iraq to bloody ribbons, thereby severely “undermining U.S. military resistance” to the Zionist conquest of the Americas.

20 December 2003


In essence, the entire American continent, from Inuvik in northern Canada to the southern tip of Tierra Del Fuego, is to be invaded and captured for Zionist use, with the cabal exercising central command and control from New York City, currently located in the much smaller United States of America. Within this new massive fortress, the USA will be the focal point of all significant economic activities, with Canada and the former countries of Latin and South America providing the bulk of natural resources and cheap labor.

22 Jan 2004


Monstrous Massacre in Fallujah - Is Miami Next?

When I inserted "Miami" in the title of this report, it was not without reason. Miami is on a short list of medium-sized American cities targeted for Phase One of Fortress Americas, which calls initially for local American gangs to be 'inoculated' with the fake al Qaeda 'virus', which of course will then require armed intervention by federal authorities, and lead to short term martial law imposed by New York. Member of armed Miami street gangs ranging from the "10th Street Thugs" through the "Legion of Doom" to the "Vados Locos" will all suddenly find to their horror that they have become overnight lieutenants of 'al Qaeda', and they will then be hunted down by federal authorities and given the same considerate courtroom hearing as David Koresh.

14 April 2004


Saddam's Liberation of Iraq Has Begun

In the secret underworld beneath Baghdad and Mosul, Republican Guard counter-insurgency units prepare micro nukes and binary Sarin weapons


The time for American and Zionist punishment of the Iraqi people has now passed into history, and the punishment of Americans and Zionists by the Iraqi people is just about to begin.

26 June 2004


Covert Iraq-Iran Alliance Prepares to Destroy Zion

As American troops remain trapped inside Vietnam-style fortified fire bases in Iraq, their political masters in New York are realising too late that Iran guards the only line of retreat back down the Persian Gulf. The quasi Judeo-Christian 'Coalition of the Willing' is fast becoming the 'Coalition of the Damned'.


Those licking their lips at the possibility of reprisals against Iran had best shut their mouths again, because there will not be any. Every attack jet that bursts out of an Iranian valley will be carrying the correct insignia of the Iraqi Air Force, notionally and factually at war with America since the illegal invasion of its sovereign territory. It will be defense at its very best, and entirely allowable under the umpire's rules. If the Zionists ignore the umpire and attack Iran, it is reasonable to expect that two unstoppable Mach 2.0 supersonic nuclear Sunburns will then be launched in the direction of Tel Aviv and Haifa. Game, set and match.

12 August 2004


Air Attack on U.S. Planned for October 2004

El AL'eda terrorists plan to initiate "Fortress Americas"
with several thousand dead on American East Coast


Thus the Zionist Cabal knows only too well that it is already living on borrowed time. Eighty seconds just happens to be the exact time cycle needed for a complete nuclear event sufficient to transform Tel Aviv and Haifa to glass. The only way to recruit Americans to the flagging cause of Zionism is to first sacrifice a few thousand of them in appalling circumstances on the eastern seaboard of America. Then, and only then, amid the terrifying shock and horror of the dead and the slowly dying, might the American people as a whole be convinced that the real enemy is Al Qaeda rather than EL AL'eda.

16 July 2004

I've written to Joe to ask him to explain some of these brain farts. I'll let you know if he responds.


8 February 2005

More on that whole Zionist Conspiracy thing......

Ren Hoëk Joe Vialls has posted part two of his "Zionists flee USA and make a new Israel in Tasmania" essay.

Part two contains.....

  • some raving about General Douglas MacArthur
  • Australia is secretly governed by New York Jews, who send secret orders to Australian PMs (and American Presidents)
  • The Jews were behind the appointment of Tasmanian governor Richard Butler, who was placed there so noone would interfere with the Zionist "Project Ark"
  • Richard Butler was kicked out after the Zionists' plans were discovered

OK, now here comes the really juicy stuff.......

Next week: Joe reveals the secret, ruthless leader of the Zionist World Government.....

The Zionist Cabal was terrified of the fearsome opposition leader Mark Latham:

Latham was obviously a clear and present danger to the smooth Zionist day-to-day running of Australia, and an extreme danger to Project Ark. There was little doubt that this man would not easily tolerate a gang of Zionist war criminals pack raping the children of Tasmania, and he therefore had to go before they started to arrive.

So what did the Zionists do about the fearless Latham? They threatened to kill his family:

Eventually a very shaken Mark Latham made the shortest speech of his life to the media (3 minutes), in which he explaiined that he would be leaving politics forever. And despite the shortness of his speech, Mr Latham nevertheless twice managed to mention "the security of my family", which suddenly appeared to be of great concern to him.

Of course, under normal circumstances Mark Latham could simply have returned to the back benches on a fat salary of more than $100,000 per annum, but that was simply too close for Zionist comfort. THere is no doubt in the author's mind that Latham was given the usual Zionist choice: "Give up your job, or we will kill your family."

The Zionist cabal then elected Kim Beazley, who is in their pocket, all to make sure Project Ark runs smoothly. And that's not all:

It is of course obvious to a blind man that a bunch of weaklings like Wolfowitz, Perle, Sharon, Bush and others could not possible survive in Tasmania without copious numbers of Mistaravim minders and bodyguards. One look at the picture above should convince you that without a constant cordon of armed killers around him, Ariel Sharon would have been disemboweled years ago by an outraged Palestinian six-year-old wielding a box cutter.

Clearly the Mistaravim heavies would not be allowed seats on the prestigious Boeing Arks from America, so a more direct route from their training grounds in Palestine had to be arranged in advance, but without rousing undue Australian suspicion. The plan was (and is) for them to arrive in Australia in civilian clothes on legitimate visas, then migrate down to Tasmania in time to pick up their weapons from the docks in Hobart.

This was arranged quite cleverly in March of 2004, when Australian Foreign Minister Alexander Downer sallied for to Tel Aviv to receive his latest instructions from the Zionist hobby farm. In a nutshell he invited all "Israelis between 18 and 30 years of age to migrate to the land of plenty", thus covering the legitimate government-approved transit of hundreds of Jewish Mistaravim terrorists from Palestine to Australia.

Joe continues with a big scary warning to the Americans and their Zionist masters:

So, people, the day of reckoning is drawing closer, with America on the verge of economic collapse, and Condaleeza Rice openly derided across Europe as she feebly tries to gain support for a "democratic war" on Iran. Nobody wants to know America any more, and the Judeo- Christian 'God' who allegedly told George W. Bush personally to 'attack Iraq' has long since retreated into the background.

All over Iraq the body bags simply can't keep up with the number of dead, and the Republican Guard has barely shifted into second gear. Also, quite suddenly, things have started to explode in inexplicable fashion, hinting at advanced weapons systems well beyond the reach of current American military technology.

Back in America it is hard to find a neocon nowadays, because most are packing their bags for the long journey down under. Fear is in the air, but this time it is fear within the elite. Fear of the American people when they discover they have been bankrupted for more than a century, and fear of each other because the blame game is just aroud the corner. On balance, would you expect a bunch of Zionists to stay in America to face the music? Of course not. Without further ado, the cowards left for Offutt AFB.

Joe even has a picture of the refueling planes that are being prepared for the Zionist flight down under!

At this point, Joe starts doing some very weird sexual projecting......

Nothing could stop them now! Completely out of range of land based fighters, the war criminals started to relax. This was the very last leg of their long flight from America, and Wolfowitz absent-mindedly started playing with himself at the prospect of the firm young Australian buttocks being prepared in Tasmania by the Mistaravim.

But fear not, the Joe's beloved Space Age Russian Death Jets come to Australia's rescue!

One hundred miles ahead and far below the Ark, Major Andrei Osipovich sat silently in the cockpit of his Yak-38 Jump Jet, discreetly camouflaged among the deck containers on board a Russian-flagged civilian cargo ship.


Though western propaganda has ruthlessly trashed the Yak-38 as "useless" and "unstable", nothing can change the reality that this aircraft, known as "Forger" to NATO countries, is both lighter and faster than its British and American Harrier cousins.


Less than seven minutes after lift off from the ship, Andrei Osipovich formated slightly astern of the Ark and about 12,000 feet below, where he was still invisible to the Boeing's TCAS (Traffic Alert Collision Avoidance System) radar. The sky was crystal clear, and through his tinted flash visor, Osipovich could see oil streaks on the dirty white belly of the 747 as it wallowed along clumsily in three dimensional space.

Just over two miles away were the Zionist war criminals who had tried to destroy his country completely, who sent in Jewish oligarchs to try and steal Russia's sovereign oil reserves, and who were directly responsible for his elderly grandmother being forced to beg on the streets of Saint Petersburg. They had done the same to America as well, and Andrei Osipovich was justifiably surprised that a USAF F-15 Eagle had not already blown the Ark out of the sky before it could escape American airspace.

Wooo! God bless shitty Russian aeronautical technology! The big guy is about to kick some Jew ass!!......

Major Osipovich mapped his attack run out in his head, without even realizing that his actions that day might save countless young Tasmanian children from a fate far worse than death. Osipovich was a born gunfighter, and his steel-gray eyes mentally plotted the course ans strike pattern of his cannon shells.

The object of the exercise was to climb swiftly up under the belly of the Ark, with his gunsight pointing directly at the nose of the Boeing from below. At this point he intended to open fire, allowing the Ark to fly on through the hail of high-explosive shells, which would punch a straight line of holes back along the centerline to the tail, effectively tearing the giant aircraft apart as it explosively decompressed.

Satisfied with his calculations, Andrei Osipovich unsheathed the trigger on his joystick with a white-gloved finger, pushed the throttle fully forward, and pulled the Yak back into a gut wrenching climb. For a fleeting instant he remembered the horror of finding his frail grandmother begging on the streets of Saint Petersburg, and then he gently squeezed the trigger.


Touching innit? Kinda like a gay sci-fi version of The Turner Diaries.

Joe can be reached at Write to him and thank him for the good news he brings.

5 February 2005

Article of the day

Check out Joe Queenan's impressions of Great Britain, particularly his thoughts on the Queen musical We Will Rock You:

Rebels, some dressed as punks, try to keep authentic rock'n'roll alive by singing Queen songs. This is a curiously revisionist view of rock history. Punk, as I recall, sprang screaming from the womb in 1976, one year after Queen released Bohemian Rhapsody. Punk, in fact, was a direct response to bands such as Emerson, Lake & Palmer, Yes, Asia, the Electric Light Orchestra and most particularly Queen, just as penicillin was a direct response to syphilis.



Nice people

Check out these terrorist-loving assholes.


One for the children

Best kids' picture book ever.


Scooter review

Today I test-rode the Sym Euro MX (sold in Australia by Bolwell).

I must admit, the thing surprised me. I had little interest in the Taiwanese-built machine, thinking it just a cheap, dull knockoff compared to European scooters or the Honda @125 I tested some months back.

The first thing I noticed was that it looks much better in person. It's shapely, the standard of finish is very high, and the switchgear is well designed.

The 150cc 4-stroke single-cylinder motor is a nice little unit, offering smooth acceleration and manages 100kph on flat ground. Like other 4-stroke scooters, it needs a big handful to get away from the lights at a reasonable pace, but once underway motors along nicely.

The ergonomics are terrific: comfy seat, well-positioned handlebars, plenty of legroom. There's space under the seat for a helmet and there's a fold-out shopping-bag hook under the handlebars. The mirrors work well, as do the brakes.

Handling is, well, scooter-like. These things are not built for high-speed cornering or bumpy roads. They are city machines.

Overall, it compares favourably with the Honda. It feels pretty much the same to ride and is about $1000 less expensive, and a whopping $2000 less than the equivalent Vespa ET4.

Overall, this is a quality little piece of kit and great value for money.

For an extra $200, Sym/Bolwell have a more sporty version of the Euro, called the Shark:

The Shark is identical in all respects to the Euro except for the bodywork, and it's 4 kgs lighter. I'd get the Shark, as I prefer the looks, but you can't go wrong with either one.


2 February 2005

The world makes no sense whatsoever

Some people are actually complaining about Sandra Sully's boobs???


Random opinions

Kylie Minogue is not sexy. I really don't see the attraction of skinny, bony-faced, plastic-surgery mannequins like her.

Other supposedly beautiful women who are completely unattractive: Elizabeth Hurley, Pamela Anderson, Julia Roberts, Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz.

Some countries I have no interest whatsoever in visiting: Russia, every African nation, Columbia, Sweden, Holland, Greece, Bangladesh, Burma, Cambodia, Malaysia, Ireland.

Frank Sinatra couldn't sing his way out of a shithouse.

John Wayne couldn't act his way out of a shithouse.

Forrest Gump was git crap.

Julia Stiles has a lot of class.

The current Australian cricket team would have convincingly beaten the West Indies team of the 80's.

There is no freedom without capitalism.

There is no moral difference between socialism and nazism.


Fuzzy, feelgood moment

I've always hated dogs. Hated them. Ugly, dirty, shitting, pissing, farting machines. I would have exterminated every dog on earth with nary a thought.

Over the last year however, I have developed a weakness for cute little puppies, particularly corgis and these ones;



How could you not love these gorgeous little fellows?

(Many more brilliant puppy pictures at Shake A Paw)


The Date From Hell

Emily Jones meets Dickhead.

Luckily, her suffering makes for great reading.

I actually met Ms. Jones once. We went out for beer & food at Hermosa Beach, where I impressed her with such observations as "LA is cool" and "hey, there's a plane taking off!".

She was amused by my David Hasselhoff story though.


"Homer, your idea of a donut-shaped universe intrigues me"

Since recovering from his Zionist caused flu (about which we are promised an essay soon), Joe Vialls has been very prolific. He's already got his next essay up: Bye, Bye Bye Boeing Bye Bye. To save my dear readers a migraine, I'll summarise it for you:

- Joe is very, very excited about the new Airbus A380. It is a masterpiece of European genius which has left the USA in the stone age.

- Boeing (like everything else) is run by The Worldwide Jewish Conspiracy.

- Charles De Gaulle turned France into a mighty power which will destroy the arrogant Americans with their mighty space-age Mirage fighters.

- The Zionist Boeing Corporation tried to assassinate Jacques Chirac. Didn't hear about this? Me niether. Remember the Concorde crash in Paris in 2000? This was apparently a Jewish attempt to assassinate Chirac and derail the Airbus A380 project.

- Remember the collapse of the Airbus terminals in Dubai and Paris? This was also a Jew Boeing attempt to derail the Airbus A380 project.

- The USA economy is collapsing and the Europeans and Chinese will rule the earth, with their space-age Death Jets and powerful currencies.

- The Boeing Jews (who are capable of launching mini-nuke attacks in muslim countries and causing Tsunamis, yet are strangely incapable of shooting a French president or destroying an airplane prototype) were so terrified by European Aeronautical Superiority that they "sent Boeing off" to create the 7E7 Dreamliner. This was an Evil Jew attempt to con money out of investors.

- The US economy is about to collapse, because the Russians (who haven't yet nuked Israel as Joe predicted) and Arabs will use the Euro as the world's "reserve currency". Boeing is about to collapse too.

Joe's concluding paragraph:

It is no exaggeration to say that Boeing is the 'flagship' of the American defense industry, and if Boeing goes to the wall, so will everyone else. No more aircraft carriers, no more stealth bombers, and no more attacking overseas sovereign nations in the sacred name of New York Zionist 'Democracy'. Perhaps none of this would have happened at all, if certain certifiable maniacs had resisted the temptation to try and assassinate the French President back on 25 July 2000. Food for thought.

Somebody is up to his eyebrows in pharmaceutical refreshment.

31 January 2005

More Niall on tennis

If You'd Watched, You'd Have Noticed

I actually enjoyed the Australian Open final, probably much to the chagrin of that doyen of dickheads in Canberra. Clearly Turd didn't watch the match, or he'd not make out-of-context slights against Hewitt which were equally duplicated by Safin. I do believe, dimwit, that both players received code violations. A closer analytical view of the match will show that Hewitt's unforced error rate was his downfall, and Safin's focus is what won him the match. He definitely didn't win benefit of overwhelming skill. In fact he wasn't in the match until he won the third set.

Next time you want to try me on, Tex, make sure you have your facts straight, eh? Jerk!

Too bad Niall doesn't follow his own advice.

1: I did watch.

2: Actually, dimwit, Hewitt was given a code violation for screeching at the officials, Safin broke his own racquets. You clearly need some guidance on the meaning of "equally duplicated".

3: He "definitely" didn't win by benefit of skill? Funny, three sets to one looks like a vastly more skilled effort to me. What do you call it, 'unequal karma'?

4: Hewitt's "unforced error rate" was lower than Safin's, you bozo. 22 to 36, in case you're interested.

5: Safin "wasn't in the match until he won the third set" - what exactly do you call winning the second set? Losing?

Hewitt got his arse kicked. He lost critical points and instead of focusing on his own game started screaming at officials. An immature pratt and a deserving loser.

Go Marat!


Mr. Mustard is right

Anime blows chunks.


A note to two of my readers

To "Matt" who wrote to me about bikes: your return e-mail address got garbled by my webmail client, which is why I haven't sent you a response.

And to the guy who invited me around for a traditional Jewish dinner at his shack in Sydney months and months ago: every time I sent a response, I got a "mailbox full" error in return.

Looking for older whackings?

Wanna see my previous rants against lefty, commie, peacenick wankers, plus lots of fun stuff about motorcycles, music and movies?................ Click here for the full past whackings index


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