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Live Whacking Archive
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How's this for a dumb idea

Sasha Castel points out a classic piece of really stupid thinking.

Cock-flavoured Soup

I really wanna ask for cock soup in a restaurant someday.

William Shatner ate my balls

Actor, celebrity, ball-eater


Australian Muslim spokesman Keysar Trad - who presents himself to the media as a soft-spoken moderate - pens this creepy essay, lecturing us all on our depraved western nature, and proclaiming an Islamic society to be the only solution. It's the typical grab-bag of Islamist hypocrisy. I especially loved this bit...

.... from the Muslim viewpoint, our ideology is the best salvation for the people of Australia, and the people of the world in general. Yes, we are a threat to the culture of drunkenness, paedophilia, and mostly we are a big threat to the culture of ELITISM.

....not to mention a threat to homosexuals, women who don't want to be wrapped in rugs, people who practice other religions or no religion, people who like drinking, swearing, rock n' roll, free speech, Playboy, democracy, TV, science, art, movies and pretty much everything else people actually enjoy in this country.

Oh, then there's this stunner;

The criminal dregs of white society colonised this country, and now, they only take the select choice of other societies, and the descendants of these criminal dregs tell us that they are better than us. And because we are not elitists, we tolerate them.

Oh, you tolerate us, eh? Such a magnanimous nature. I wonder how tolerant the islamic community would be if they became a majority? Well based on the evidence supplied by every islamic society on earth, the answer is "not very".

Tolerance and peace are not things Islamic communities are particularly well-equipped for, being that Islam is the most prehistoric, paranoid, repressive and brutally intolerant of all religions. Time to drag your sorry asses into the 21st century fellas, and stop blaming the Zionist-Kafir conspiracy for your own cultural neanderthalism.

(Link via Professor Bunyip)

Peaceful religion watch

You gotta love this website - Islamic Truth. Some fun features to be found within.....

- the founding of a single worldwide muslim state...by force that is
- the destruction of all non-muslims and the overthrow of all non muslim governments & institutions
- The Internet is the most evil man-made invention second to television!


Why do americans love this quack technology anyway?

One of the things that's always baffled me about the USA is the widespread acceptance and use of the pseudo-scientific line-your-hat-with-tinfoil voodoo known as the polygraph.

Columnist William Safire gives this idiotic machinery a well-deserved bollocking.

(Link via Hot Buttered Death)


Youth whinges Eternal

Trust The Age to print this load of assnuggets.

A 25-yo self-righteous postgraduate student - Michelle Almiron - squeals about how nobody is listening to her generation, and how she has to deal with the everyday issues of life, like bills, debt and working for a living. Oh, the pain!

Of course, as with most agonized leftist twits, she doesn't understand that she is being listened to. The thing is, nobody cares.

Some choice excerpts.....

I am 25 and part of the invisible generation. I am in full-time education (still) accumulating a HECS debt that I will have to repay as soon as I earn more than $21,000 a year.

Oh dear. Fancy being forced to contribute a portion of the cost of your seemingly never-ending education which everyone else is subsidising.

The likelihood of my partner and I becoming either home owners or parents is non-existent. We have other needs and aspirations for the moment.

Yeah, non-home ownership and cost of having kids is a problem exclusively for the young. Gimme a break.

You oppressed "youth" could always move outta Melbourne, and - you know - go somewhere cheaper.

It's simple: as a group, generally, we don't have a mortgage, children or full-time career jobs. So John Howard has little motivation to listen to our voices. We are a generation that speaks to brick walls.

Christ almighty. Somebody fetch the Kleenex. You have as much power to make John Howard listen as anyone else: you can vote. It's called democracy. Don't start crying about being unfairly ignored when your vote has the same weight as an older person.

A good example is the furore caused when Kirsty Ruddock had the courage to voice her objections to her father's actions. She was readily dismissed for failing to appreciate the responsibilities involved in managing such a weighty portfolio. I can just imagine Philip Ruddock shaking his head - I admire her zest but, ah, the innocence of youth.

Ah good: she didn't forget the required dig at the Evil Nazi Howard Government, irrelevant as it is.

Alternatively, when we are not ignored, we are patronised. Reports abound about our lack of savings and our love affair with credit. We don't buy houses, preferring to spend our money on mobile phones and travel. There seems to be a hysteria that surrounds this notion of young Australians travelling the road to economic perdition.

Interestingly, she can give no specifics.

In reality, there is hardly any room for us to put our finger in the financial pie. Who can afford a house when you have a $25,000 HECS debt?

Valid point, but so what? You expect to be a home owner at the age of 25 while you're still a full-time student? How about getting a job, and paying off your debt, before you start crapping on with your righteous spiel about how evil older people and the government are.

Next, Michelle - the Gulag Oz inmate - cries censorship;

My generation is recognised for labels. We're the indy-media types, hanging off the end of the Xers, labelled as "generation Y", "generation tech" or the first "global generation". I understand that labelling is necessary. But, in effect, it acts as masking tape over our mouths.

Um, how?

This imposed silence encourages accusing snarls that we are an apathetic bunch with no cultural clout or direction. But this couldn't be further from the truth. Australia's youth are more than an age bracket. We have views on politics, lifestyle and social justice.

Australia's youth have opinions. Well, fuck me. Who would have guessed?

This imposed silence encourages accusing snarls that we are an apathetic bunch with no cultural clout or direction. But this couldn't be further from the truth. Australia's youth are more than an age bracket. We have views on politics, lifestyle and social justice.

What "imposed silence", you clown? To start with, you are able to get a piece this bad published in a major broadsheet newspaper, for chrissakes. And you can hardly go a day without the TV news showing the members of the Unwashed Student Stinky Platoon protesting and screaming "fascism!!!" about something or other.

The Youth Parliament was in session last month. Mandatory reporting of child abuse by religious leaders, reproductive rights (the availability of the morning-after pill over the counter), compulsory blood donations: these were some of the bills discussed by Australians aged 16 to 25.

Well, the ones aged 18-25 can vote and register as political candidates if they want, just like anyone else. What the hell is it that you are complaining about?

There are many other places to find us discussing and enthusing. Go to any spoken-word event on a weekend at a pub or other venue and you might be surprised.

Uh, no, we're all quite used to the sight and sounds of boring university students lecturing us all on our evil ways thank you. Oh, and I bet you don't count young libertarians/conservatives as part of your generation.

Walk down Swanston Street and you might be asked to sign a petition and become involved against the mandatory detention of refugees or against war on Iraq. Visit any of the university corridors and catch the conversations of students running to class from part-time jobs. You might find us discussing how our education is deteriorating, how daily living is becoming more expensive, how lacking in human compassion our political leaders are.

Oh, we know all this. Problem is that at election time, we couldn't give a rat's ass about what you have to say. People have a right to have different opinions to yours. You are not being silenced or oppressed - other people are making decisions of their own. I realise that as a leftist this idea of freedom of choice is a scary one, but you'd best deal with it, Whitlam-girl.

There is a rich array of young voices striving to be heard. Yet these voices rarely penetrate mainstream politics and culture.

Says the words printed in the The Age, and similar voices being spoken on a certain taxpayer funded nation-wide radio station. Never mind, I guess the Zionists are brainwashing the unwashed masses against you.

Naomi Klein suggests that one of the reasons that youthful voices do not permeate the mainstream is because as soon as our cultural movement awakes, baby boomers come along and steal it to make "cool" ads - which they then try to sell back to us. This never happened to the baby boomers. They had time to revel in their movement and explore it before it was sold off.

I think I'm gonna barf.

It's a shame. Our generation has an important contribution to make to Australian society.

So get out there and make it, and stop fucking whining about your poor, silenced self already. This would mean however, you have to join the real world the rest of us live in, where we have a lower tolerance for middle-class welfare brats like you.


More paranormalist bashing

CSICOP has a good article on "psychic" scumbag John Edward and his filthy ilk. Thanks to Bailz for bringing my attention to it.

Surrealist fun

Go here, and type your name of choice in the text box. Here's my result.........

Tex is a CD player that cannot be removed from your house! It produces 240v of electricity and probably won't work.


Here comes Aaron

One of my regular correspondents - Dr. Aaron Oakley - has lept into the blogging business with Bizzare Science. It's only been going a few days and it's already impressive. An ex-greenie himself, Aaron takes on the paper-thin scaremongering of the eco-lobby. He's not bad at putting the boot into left-wing media types either. I happily welcome him to my links list.

Check this one out too

Clubbeaux is run by Dave Sims: "Current events, religion, business, sports, entertainment and invective from david sims, one harp seal who's not taking it anymore."

Heh, it's a winner already. Wotz a harp seal anyway?

Fortunately, Dave has the necessary writing skills to support his invective. I especially liked this;

And in point of fact Americans never did take out their anger on “innocent” American Arabs and Muslims, since Americans are truly peaceful. Americans genuinely do not like war, when it must occur we want it to be quick and effective and brought to an end and the enemy reconciled with – World War II enemies Japan, Italy and German are today three of our closest allies, closer than World War II allies France and Russia, we’ve even effected a workable reconciliation with Vietnam.

This is the polar opposite of Islamic societies, which irrevocably demonize their enemies and consign them to a perpetual state of war. Today Christians are being brutally murdered in Indonesia and Pakistan for the offense of being Christian. I haven't seen accounts of any anti-Muslim backlash in America.


Dave's no blind, stars-n-stripes nationalist either. He's capable of staring fearlessly at the true black heart of the USA: namely, the godawful beer.

Where would the blogosphere be without The Guardian?

George Monbiot gives us another article of mind-numbing idiocy;

For the past eight years the US, with Britain's help, appears to have been seeking to prevent a resolution of the crisis in Iraq. It is almost as if Iraq has been kept on ice, as a necessary enemy to be warmed up whenever the occasion demands. Today, as the economy slides and Bin Laden's latest mocking message suggests that the war on terrorism has so far failed, an enemy which can be located and bombed is more necessary than ever. A just war can be pursued only when all peaceful means have been exhausted. In this case, the peaceful means have been averted.

Yep folks, Saddam's warmongering, genocide and sponsorship of terrorism is naught but an illusion... all capitalist propaganda to distract us from the fact that it's all Dubya's fault.

Wot he sed

Damian Penny on the IDF raid on Khan Yunis

Frankly, I don't know what to think. You don't have to be pro-Palestinian to admit that while the Israelis may not target Palestinian civilians, the IDF has sometimes been careless - if not negligent - in trying to avoid civilian casualties. And yet, the constant, steady barrage of completely baseless accusations flung at the Israeli armed forces is enough to turn one from ever believing what the Palestinians have to say. Stories of a nonexistent Jenin "massacre" are still being spread; poor Mohammad Al-Dura is still portrayed as a victim of the Israelis, long after it has been definitively proven that Palestinian gunfire killed him.

I want to feel much more sympathy for the families of those who died last night, yet I find it difficult to do so. And in a way, that scares me.



More Fart than Art
..... or How I learned to say "Fuck The Opera"

In today's tedious S.M.H. column, enternal whinging feminist and culturati Anne Summers joins the ranks of very silly people who demand we spend even more millions of taxpayers' money on arts funding.

'Tis suits, not genius, that strut the stage
Artists such as Simone Young create something priceless, yet it's profiteers that are idolised, writes Anne Summers.

Having a howling error in the first line of a column is never a good sign. It's obviously escaped the attention of Summers and other culturati dingbats that big-money executives have rather a bad image in Australia right now. Hello Anne, heard of OneTel & HIH?

What kind of country are we that our largest companies can find more than $50 million to throw at past-their-use-by-date departing CEOs, yet we are unable to dredge up a mere $2 million to hang onto the internationally renowned music director of our national opera company?

A country where there are some very stupid people in corporate life who are willing to spend big money on bad CEOs. Welcome to the world of freedom of choice and private enterprise. Then again, none of us is forced to pay for those pricks, whereas we can do nothing about the millions of our tax payments that fund your middle-class cultural welfare.

The sacking of Simone Young by the board of Opera Australia last month highlights an alarming trend in Australia to financially reward mediocrity or incompetence in the corporate world but to punish striving for excellence in the performing arts.

Punish? She was being paid with my fucking money!!! Who the hell asked our permission to shell out our money to subsidise the entertainment of the Opera crowd?

The decision of the OA board not to renew Young's contract was, according to board chairman Rowena Danziger, financially motivated "by a need to ensure the national opera company's sustainable development". Specifically, it has been reported, Young's artistic plans for the 2004 season exceeded the budget by $2 million.

The person whose hiring just three years ago was hailed as such a coup for OA, and whose musical vision promised to elevate our opera to new standards of excellence, was let go for want of a couple of million dollars.

A couple of million dollars over and above the millions of dollars of our money that is already being used to keep this unpopular art form afloat.

It was not the artistic vision as such that was at issue - Young delivered what she had promised in terms of improving the orchestra and expanding the repertoire - it was just that the OA could not afford it. Nor was Young's own remuneration an issue. She just wanted to produce a fabulous season.

A "fabulous season" which is so popular with the public that it cannot survive on its own financially. That's some vital art form you got there.

Of course, the likes of Summers and other art-industry bludgers like Leo Schofield never suggest the easiest and most obvious solution: that the opera audience should pay for it themselves. You know, like people who like (gulp) rock and roll. Ah, but that's not culturally important is it?

[...a whole paragraph of examples over overpaid execs follows. Zzzz...]

These financial excesses point to a shameless self-aggrandisement among our corporate elite. They take home salaries, bonuses, interest-free loans and all kinds of other perks that are unjustifiable on any terms.

What, so companies shouldn't be allowed to offer their money and perks to attract talent, and improve performance, but useless individuals like Simone Young can take my money to fund her art form whether I'm interested in it or not? The art-left love using everyone else's money to fund their interests.

In Europe and the United States, opera companies attract significant donations from bizoids anxious to improve their cultural cred. Not so here. It is almost impossible to get our wealthiest individuals to give money to the arts (unless it's to buy stuff to increase in value while it hangs on their walls). They support medical charities, up to a point, but overall we lack a philanthropic tradition. And while we expect governments to subsidise everything from sports training to the price of pharmaceuticals, we are far less demanding of our financial elite.

Ah, here's the rub: the evil capitalists aren't giving enough of their money to the beloved Opera, so they should be forced to.

Yet if as a society we want the performances at the Sydney Opera House to match the bravura of the building - and we claim we do - we need to find the funds to do it.

How about fucking paying for it yourself!!!! And this society of ours clearly doesn't want it: if the audience was there to support it, you wouldn't need our fucking money to prop it up, you dopey asscow.

The board of OA has a clear duty to be fiscally responsible, but it has an equally important mandate to nurture excellence in the company. Its mission statement includes the undertaking: to "attract, develop, challenge and retain people of the highest calibre within an organisation that is effectively led, well-informed and in which their contribution is respected and celebrated".

The Young episode represents a failure to meet just about every one of these goals.

Oh, heaven forfend!! The poor opera crowd, already bloated with millions of dollars of taxpayers' money, expresses outrage that the board of Opera Australia would actually exercise some restraint in spending money it doesn't have on an artform hardly anyone wants.

Equally disturbing are the unattributed comments in the media by board members and other "sources" that the board's decision was about more than money. Opera CEO Adrian Collette wrote to the company's supporters recently stating that "out of respect for Simone and our company" no further comments would be made about the episode. However, this has not stopped some insiders from briefing some journalists (not this one) that Young was "abrasive" and "autocratic". (Isn't criticising a conductor for being autocratic a bit like attacking a social worker for being compassionate?) Someone else complained about Young's "brinkmanship". She went to the wall to fight for her vision, apparently. That's what artistic directors are supposed to do - yet it cost her her job.

Oh, the poor dear. She demands to go a piffling two million dollars over budget, paid for by people like me, and she loses her job for it. Well boo-hoo.

An especially damaging comment was made to this newspaper the day of her termination: "Her vision was going to cost a bundle and she had to bring something to the party, but this wasn't happening." I would have thought she brought her name, her reputation, her musical vision and her skills.

And how about an ability to recoup the fucking costs?

In the same vein, critics of the board's decision have been trashed by OA management. People who wrote critical letters to the press had their names run through the OA data base. Less than 10 per cent of them had bought tickets in the past seven years, said Liz Nield , the company's marketing and communications director.

As if members of the public are not entitled to comment on decisions of an arts organisation that receives substantial taxpayer funds. This exercise reveals a level of petty vindictiveness that is, sadly, all too typical of arts management in this country.

Strange that she uses a dozen or so letters from the "public" the prove her point, yet is unwilling to admit to herself that the vast majority of the public has no interest whatsoever in financially supporting the opera by paying a fair ticket price. I guess the culturally unwashed amongst us shouldn't be able to decide how to spend our money.

Young's leaving is not just a reprise of the departures of other talented and demanding artists whose vision was deemed to be "unsustainable" by their managements - think Meryl Tankard, Maina Geilgud, Barrie Kosky - it also has depressing parallels with the history of the very building in which Young worked.

A whole roll-call of people who produced monumentally boring art nobody gave a shit about or wanted to spend money on. Good fucking riddance.

In 1966, the NSW government failed to retain the services of the architect Joern Utzon, whose bold and brave design for an opera house had been commissioned by the previous regime. In 2002, a new opera board has sent packing the brilliant and visionary musician recruited by its predecessor a mere three years ago.

The problem for the future is that it will be next to impossible to recruit a stellar replacement for Young. Who in their right mind would take a job that is now internationally branded as being, artistically speaking, for the vision-impaired?

Hopefully, the answer is "nobody". You want them here? Pay a fair ticket price for the shows you attend.

When us rock n' roll fans want to get U2 out here, we support promoters by paying big-ass money for our tickets. Why don't you do the same for your damned opera tickets? Why should your upper-class twat-art be supported with our money?

I wouldn't be as pissed off with the likes of Summers if they were are least consistent about it: they should bloody well spread the arts funding around to help fund fund big rock tours and give us cheaper movie tickets. These things, of course, are nothing but coarse, low-rent cultural pollution, whereas you guys are artistic and cultural, right?

Maybe the board should rethink - and perhaps put the wood on some of those overpaid corporates to fork out some of those millions to keep Young at the helm of our national opera. Perhaps one or more of them might volunteer.

Lowy has said he intends to donate his $11.9 million salary to charity. Frank, here's an idea: donate it to Opera Australia and ask them to renew Young's contract. With almost $12 million in the coffers they could more than afford her next three seasons and Australia would not lose another stellar artist to more generous overseas pastures.

Anne, here's an idea: maybe he could give the $12 million to such horrid, culturally irrelevant endeavours like the Smith Family, the Red Cross, the Royal Flying Doctor Service or the Hollows Foundation. (Ah, but where's the culture?)

Piss off and use your own money for a change.

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