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Live Whacking Archive
click "Live Whacking" button for the latest entries

5 August 2003

Joining the four-wheeled world

Yes, I'm crossing to the dark side: I've decided to finally get my car licence (which - being a motorcycle rider & buyer - I never bothered to do before) and actually purchase a car, hopefully before Xmas this year.

The "limitations" of bikes never bothered me before, but I find myself getting into more and more circumstances where I need to give someone a lift, go places in appalling weather, or carry large quantities of "stuff". And frankly, riding in traffic for a few years gives you a collective attack of the heebie-jeebies.

The car will be strictly utilitarian. Compact and not expensive. Hey, I'd love something fast and sporty, but I can't afford to do that and keep my sportsbike. And it's a cold, hard fact that when it comes to bang-for-bucks, bikes shit on cars from a great height.

So, I'll keep my bike for performance thrills. For my car, I want something easy to park, not expensive, and not completely ugly. Oh yeah, it's gotta be an auto, coz I'm a lazy shit.

So far, the field seems to be:

The Toyota Echo:

The Daihatsu Sirion:

The Honda Jazz GLI:

The Holden Barina SXi:

Any suggestions/advice?

Heterosexuality is for wussies

Our PM made a complete fuckwit out of himself today.

Prime Minister John Howard has aligned himself with the Vatican and US President George W Bush in ruling out gay marriages, saying they do nothing to support "survival of the species".

"I'm opposed to changing the law in Australia to give them the same status as marriage that we all understand in our society," Mr Howard told a Darwin radio station during a tour of the Northern Territory capital today.

"That's not an expression of discrimination - it's just an expression that marriage as we understand it is one of the bedrock institutions of our society.

"It's very much about the raising of children ... and the continuation of our species.

I'll leave the response to James Russell:

John, the survival of any species simply involves one set of male reproductive organs making contact with one set of female reproductive organs. It does not require marriage—if it did, human beings would be the only living creatures on Earth since none of the other animals engages in holy matrimony like we dont—and, lest we forget, even heterosexual marriage does not inevitably lead to propagation. Would someone please like to remind these bloody people what decade we're living in?

James' mention of Howard "following Dubya's lead" is a load of balls though. Let's not confuse the issue with "we're becoming the 51st state" rubbish. Howard's always been a pro-statist social conservative.

This is just good old fear-of-fags bollocks. And all the carping in the world about political correctness and disrupting sacred institutions can't hide the simple, ugly stench of homophobia.

George Moonbat's latest...uh...opus

Is Monbiot's latest column the most tortured use of the Garden-of-Eden metaphor ever to appear in print?

I mean, just what the fuck is this wanker talking about?

The timing of the exhibition is good, as it is in this season that we leave our homes in search of paradise. In doing so, we immiserate other people. It is not just the noise with which we fill their lives while pursuing our own tranquillity. In order to create an Eden in which we may disport ourselves in innocence and nakedness, we must first commission others to clear its inhabitants out of the way. Like Constable, we are adept at hiding this truth from ourselves.


Paradise is the founding myth of the colonist. Unable to contemplate the truth of what we do, we extract from our fathomless collective guilt a story of primordial innocence.

From what I can decipher (in between migrane attacks) it seems to be a contorted amalgam of his standard template essays The West Is Evil, Israelis have Big Noses, Capitalism is Bad and Black People Are Never To Blame For Anything.

Auntie's sad groupies

Dim-bulb Niall Cook mounts this supremely idiotic defence of the ABC:

I don't watch Sixty Minutes because I consider it banal. I don't listen to the FM104.5 breakfast show because I can't stand Greg 'Fatcat' Ritchie. It's all about choice. If you, for whatever reason don't like the ABC, and truely, the reason is completely irrelevant, then don't watch/listen to it. Don't waste yours and others time by doing a Blair/Bolt/Akerman/Whogivesafuckelse in whinging about what a poor do the ABC is. If people stopped watching/listening to it, then a message would get through, no? It's like changing a Government. Don't like 'em, don't vote for 'em. Choice, people.......simple choice. Whinging about organisations like the ABC is nothing more than whinging.

Niall thinks all us ABC critics should shut up and just stop watching, coz - you know - we have a "choice". Of course, we don't have the choice to not pay for the ABC. You can be sure Niall doesn't support that kind of choice.

If people stopped watching/listening to it, then a message would get through, no?

Well, no it wouldn't. It's a taxpayer-funded network: it gets money whether people are watching or not. It is immune to the pressures of ratings, advertising revenue, audience interest and pretty much any of the mechanisms which would send a "message".

Whinging about organisations like the ABC is nothing more than whinging

Fine. I'll make you a deal: stop making me pay for it, and I'll stop whinging about it. If the ABC is of such immense value to so many in this country, then let them fund it by subscription.

I don't expect Niall or other ABC-lovers to accept this deal, do you?

Green Psycho Bulletin, again....

From the latest Green Left Weekly:

- The "Palestinian Education Department" has released a report showing the destruction those evil jews have wrought on Palestinian education.

Hmmm, would that be the same Palestinian Education Department that gave us these fabulous educational materials?.....

Palestinian schools teach a form of anti-Jewish hatred and intolerance not unlike what was taught to German children during the Nazi era. For instance, ninth-grade Palestinian students study from official textbooks that assert, "Treachery and disloyalty are character traits of the Jews, and therefore one should beware of them." These books depict Jews as satanic, violent, "thieving conquerors" who have stolen Arab land and must be slaughtered.

Further, Palestinian textbooks glorify jihad and martyrdom as the only legitimate means to liberating "Palestine." Even children's poems are laced with calls to war. Fifth-graders memorize such lines as, "I shall take my soul in my hand and hurl it into the abyss of death." Sixth-graders read a story glorifying a young boy who is raised with "the love of jihad flowing through his veins and filling every fiber of his being"; a boy who experiences his greatest "joy" when he sees "the enemy lying dead" or "fleeing for their lives." An eighth-grade literary text denies any Jewish connection to the Western Wall, and teaches children to identify Muslim and Christian holy sites but completely omits any reference to Jewish sites.

The propaganda campaign is relentless. A fourth-grade religion book reads, "The Jews are enemies to the prophets and believers." According to an eighth-grade text, "Mankind has suffered from the yoke of racism at all times, because Satan has made their evil deeds seem beautiful...Such people are the Jews." In a book used by sixteen-year-olds, the Nazi Holocaust is depicted as a response to the Jewish people’s "greed and religious fanaticism." Still another volume suggests, "Perhaps Allah brought the Jews to our land, so their death would take place here, as it did in their wars with the Romans." These can hardly be mistaken for the words of a "peace curriculum."

- The obligatory Castro-loving.

- Lots of other crap. Go read, it's free!

4 August 2003

Defending Fulgencio Batista and Roger Ebert

Damian Penny showing why he's the world's most consistently interesting solo-blogger.

Funny Ann Coulter thingy

Thanks to Oxblog for pointing out this.

Eating crow

I never thought much of Spanish GP rider Sete Gibernau. I regarded him as an occasionally talented but ultimately inconsequential rider who was in the series thanks to his oodles of Spanish sponsorship money. His previous seasons riding factory bikes for Honda and Suzuki showed flashes of brilliance, but was often a fella fighting for 6th & 7th place.

Now look at him: the guy has won four GPs this year, one more than God-guy world champ Valentino Rossi, who has proven remarkably vulnerable to Sete's aggression in the closing stages of races. Rossi looked noticeably rattled after last weeks GP in Germany.

Will Sete win the title this year? No. Valentino will hit back, and is vastly more consistent than Sete. But the Spaniard's rise to A-level rider has stunned everyone and added a real sparkle to this year's title race.


Queen to reunite with fucking Johnny Farnham as lead singer???????

Anal leakage? What anal leakage?

FDA drops warning label requirement for Olestra.

Thanks to Darth Spacey for the link & heading.

1 August 2003

Bad joke

Q: What do you call a blonde behind the wheel?

A: An Airbag

Life therapy

Ever had the feeling you're just not good enough? Like you never reached your full potential?

Well now you can change things. Undergo a full Cabbage Conversion today!

Throwing meat

How good are you at Flinging The Cow? Thanks to Zoop for the link.

Now here's something you don't see every day

A hi-fi blog. Steve Dawson mixes home theatre with political essays in one of the more interesting blogsites around. Check out his alternative take on The Untouchables.

North Korea enters the 21st century. Well, kinda.....

Thanks to Yobbo for the heads-up on this: the mind-numbingly awful website of the North Korean government.

"They're made out of meat!!!"

Contact with aliens, from the aliens' point of view. Very, very funny. Cheers to citizen Limbo for the link.

A very bad day for Justin Timberlake

This is either sad or very funny, depending on your point of view. Again, thanks to Zoop for linkage.

30 July 2003

The copycat blogger

This blogger has copied Fritz Pettyjohn's "Conservatives And Liberals" essay from this site and pasted it as his own work.

Hey Gold Dog guy: give credit when you use other people's words.

And here I return

Came back this morning from a kick-ass holiday in South Australia and Melbourne, showing off my home country to visiting blogger Sasha Castel. Even the crap weather couldn't spoil it.

Spent a few days in Adelaide, taking time out for a great day tour of the Barossa Valley wineries with our excellent guide Werner Gattermayr. Tasted some truly awesome grape product, consumed a fantastic produce platter lunch, and enjoyed the glorious scenery.

While in Adelaide, we spent a lot of time hanging out with the very entertaining Buffy-hating scrote Scott Wickstein, who got food poisoning after eating a dodgy falafel. Also met up with reader Gazza Gravett, who purchased food and booze for us all, which is a sure way to get in my good books.

Then onto Melbourne, where we basically walked around the city, ate, and drank for a few days. Last night we had a booze-n-food blog meet at the Duke of Kent pub, attended by yours truly, Sasha, Tony The Teacher, Tom Paine and Aggers Anderson.

Sasha has posted a bunch of stuff about our Sydney, South Oz and Melbourne adventures. Go read it.

Nude bikers rally in Tennessee

The line between liberty and stupidity has been blurred once again. Thanks to Zoop for the link.

The EU loves their tyrants

It seems the EuroWussies are handing over their milk money to the world's most fashionable mass murderer:

The European Union has said it will continue to send economic aid to Cuba despite an angry denunciation of Europe by President Fidel Castro.

The Cuban government, out of a basic feeling of dignity, rejects any humanitarian aid, or remaining aid, that may be offered by the governments of the European Union," Castro said.

"Our country will only accept aid, however modest it may be, from local and regional groups, non-governmental organizations and solidarity movements, which don't impose any political conditions on Cuba," he said.

In a statement issued Sunday, the European Commission, the E.U.'s executive arm, said that although it regretted Castro's remarks, it would continue to send aid to the island nation until receiving a formal request not to.

The commission said it had a "commitment to continue supporting the Cuban people and in particular those most in need."

Yeah, Fidel's boys are running desperately low on supplies of Caviar and Scotch Whisky for party meetings.

Relations soured this year, however, after Castro jailed 75 dissidents and ordered the executions of three men who attempted to hijack a ferry.

Europe protested strongly. In June, E.U. officials said they were "deeply concerned about the continuing flagrant violation of human rights and of fundamental freedoms" in Cuba and ordered a review of relations.

All 15 E.U. countries agreed to reduce high-level diplomatic visits and participation in Cuban cultural events.

Wow. Castro must really be quaking in his boots eh? Who needs American-style military action when you can do this?

The European Union: the spiritual heir to Neville Chamberlain.

23 July 2003

Going away (again)

Yes, I will make my beloved readers suffer yet again: this will be my last update until the 30th of July.

I'm off to Adelaide and Melbourne, doing lots of tourist things and getting drunk. No way I'll have any time to update this page until I get back.

In Adelaide, I'll be catching up with Scott Wickstein, and hopefully Bruce Hill and Angry Anderson while in Melbourne

After this, I won't be having any more holidays for a while, so Whacking Day will return properly once and for all.

See you next week. Have fun out there kids.

22 July 2003


Well, Sydney was serious fun, aside from some crappy weather. Went and did the tourist stuff with NYC blogger Sasha Castel who's out here doing the sightseeing thing. She has a full report on her site.

One thing to note: I walked past Andrew Denton on the walk from Bondi Junction into the city.

The mouth-breathers are back

The crowd are recommending Noam Chomsky now. Guess there's a lot of Pol Pot fans in the two-wheeled community.

Cute ad

This is amusing. Thanks to Nick for the link.

Beating up Carmen

Gaz does a lovely shredding of one of Labor's most wretched slimebuckets, who is still writing crap about the war she still can't believe we won. Well, at least she's writing crap articles nowdays instead of getting people killed. That's ethical progress for you.

(Does anyone else remember when this bimbo was being touted as our first female PM?)

I guess they're tired of blowing Fidel

Now the Green Left Weekly is praising the noble government of North Korea. As expected, they're blaming that country's problems on the USA.

The irony is that since the collapse of the Eastern bloc and a series of crippling natural disasters in the 1990s, North Korea has desperately worked towards peaceful reunification with South Korea and to break out of its international isolation.

Economic, political and cultural relations with the south have steadily increased since the early 1990s, reaching a high-point at the June 2000 inter-Korean summit. Families separated for 50 years by the Korean War have met regularly; exchanges have occurred between young people, artists, journalists and sports teams.

North Korea has repeatedly made only two demands of the US (its adversary in the 1950-53 Korean War, which was suspended by an armistice): full normalisation of political and economic relations, and a guarantee against military attack.

Behold the psychopathology of the left.

"Our blood-stained Governor-General"

It took them longer than expected, but Australia's psycho-lefties are on to our new Head of State.

18 July 2003


I've been absent this week due to intensive work and social commitments.

Thankfully, I have now just begun two weeks holiday.

I'm off to Sydney tomorrow for a blogger bash and general tourist activities. Posting will be non-existent until Monday when I return.

Netscape is no more

Is there anybody left who cares? How long is it since Nutscrape actually had a decent browser?

Today's time-wasting link

Another one of those appallingly addictive sites you can waste hours on.....

Thanks to Carol B. for the link.

12 July 2003


I haven't been posting as much in the last week thanks to work commitments, house cleaning and unexpected social gatherings. Normal service should resume shortly.

Celebrity tragedy vs. the real world

A very moving post by James Russell.

Hate-America weenies are squealing again

There's a spectacular idiot on USENET called "Uncle Bully" (the genius who once claimed that the French have a proud military history. Mwahahaha) who posts constantly about how Americans are weak, stupid cowards. Here's his latest brilliant effort:

Note to Americans:
You also got beat by the Vietnamese.
You walked away from Korea with your tail between your legs.
You had a 'War on Drugs'* which failed miserably.
You also failed the 'War on Terrorism'. How is the search for Osama going, I
mean its been two years already. How about Hussein? No luck there either

You can contribute to this discussion thread here.

10 July 2003

Latest ravings from our local insane hippy freak

One of the great minds of modern left wing political thought

Hey, Richard Neville is back with another essay. And as usual, he takes a billion words to say what anyone else could cover in one paragraph.

Only this time I'm not even sure Richard knows what his point is. It's a steaming sick-baggie of upchucked mutterings about ice cream, how modern life sucks, John Howard and capitalism is evil, poverty is bad, censorship is naughty, and Che Guevara is wonderful. Check out some of these wonderfully coherent snippets:

As with many of you who land here, my needs and desires are self serving and basic. Cozy footwear, freedom of speech, a roof, fine shagging, ice cream, thrills from the arts and a sense, now and then, of doing something with a hint of worth. Punctuated by moodswings, crises and descents into the bog of inertia. Compared to the struggles of faraway strangers depicted in docos and newsflashes, the lot of a citizen in a 21st Century western democracy is mostly a Godsend. Or is it?

Uh. What was the question again?

Could there be soul-rat gnawing away at your equanimity? A toxic cloud at the edge of awareness, a sensation that something is amiss?

No. I have a question though: do you write this stuff with your colon or what?

The documentary, Life and Debt, set on the island of Jamaica, is distillation of the life going on behind our backs, right now, in most parts of the world. Every minute, every day, every year. It won’t change anything – at the once-a-day screening, the backstalls were empty.


Most people who scan these words want me to switch to the subject of PornoPop®, which I will in a minute.

We do? I think somebody's up to his eyeballs in chemical refreshment.

Life & debt contrasts the cocooned frolics of podgy, beer swilling tourists with the financial asphyxiation of Jamaica’s inhabitants.

Ah, those bloody evil capitalist tourists, shoving employment and money down the throats of the noble savages. Better they starve I guess.

as I’m packing my bags for a trip to AmeriKa, where I’m merging with a global cabal of “world futurists”, many of whom, alas, work for Defence Contractors, thus helping to shape the kind of future we don’t want.

You'll notice that Neville isn't objecting to being paid for this experience.

Meanwhile, the other day I came across a person I never knew existed, Aleida Guevara, the daughter of Che. [...] I wanted to ask about Castro’s rounding up of his critics, but was out manoeuvred by another voice, who asked about her politics. Aleida replied, “I am proud to be a communist”, and the room became deliciously silent. In Sydney you’re only supposed to discuss investment properties and what the 5 star chef is planning to cook for dinner. It was a nostalgic interlude, a flashback to a time when seeking an authentic life was not a sign of dysfunction.

Aww, those brave, noble authentic Cubans: not afraid to meet the challenges of life head-on. Repression, torture, totalitarianism, cultural stagnation, censorship, extermination of homosexuals. Ahhh, as a good lefty, it just makes you all misty for the good old days of Mao, Stalin and Pol Pot.

Bike lust

Would somebody please buy me this motorcycle.............

The Aprilia RSV Mille

The powerful, smooth handling and utterly delicious Italian v-twin superbike. It's a Ducati 999 without the pricetag, ugly-as-fuck styling or legions of irritating fans.

I'd never spend my own money on it (Italian bikes fall apart quicker than the French infantry), but oh, to be rich!

Faith, the west, and Islam

Great post by Tom Paine. Featuring one of the best closing lines ever.

Here's to Peter Costello

Scott Wickstein doesn't like Labor party loudmouth wimp Mark Latham either.

AIDS, malaria & DDT

Kim Du Toit is saying naughty, non-PC things again.


You simply can't afford to miss this exciting event!

(Thanks to Steve in Cali for the link.)

8 July 2003

Horowitz whacks Coulter too

Even right-wing warrior David Horowitz thinks Ann Coulter is full of shit. Hopefully the rightwing-o-sphere's infatuation with this dingbat will be over soon.

Dogs in Elk

Thanks to DC Jensen for bringing my attention to this lovely pet story.

Neurology comedy

The Male Brain

The Female Brain

7 July 2003

Sullivan whacks Coulter

Sully does a lovely takedown of airhead attack-dog bimbo Ann Coulter.


Fuck-all else to blog about tonight. Back tomorrow.

Looking for older whackings?

Wanna see my previous rants against lefty, commie, peacenick wankers, plus lots of fun stuff about motorcycles, music and movies?................ Click here for the full past whackings index


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