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Quote of the day

SIMON CREAN'S address to the nation was unimpressive and underwhelming. For a start, his tone evoked childrens stories on Play School. Not a good start.
- Gareth Parker

...and further.....

Go read the rest of Gareth Parker's take on our national disgrace of an opposition leader's address to the nation.

Crean and the Labor party are a threat to this nations security. By sniping at our most important ally while hypocritically jumping at every whim of the corrupt and cretinous UN, Crean is morally unfit to lead this nation at any time in the future.

If you're religious, pray that these idiot bastards are kept out of office for as long as possible. If you're reading this from outside Australia, then lend us a prayer too.

Message to all the peace marchers


Oh yeah, all that fierce resistance the Iraqis were going to put up, the mass attacks worldwide by fearsome terrorist cells, the mass slaughter of civilians, the huge uprising in Arab street, the millions of refugees that were going to flee and die in the desert.

None of this has happened. Iraqi soldiers are surrendering by the thousand, no carpet bombing of civilians, no terrorist strikes. The Iraqi's have lost their port city, their western airbases, and the Iraqis are impotent in the north. And if we're lucky, Saddam may be seriously injured or dead.

All going swimmingly so far. Oh, and take a look at these great pictures.

But, as I predicted, some lefties are outraged by the lack of a bloodbath that would have enabled them to howl with moral indignation.

Leunig: peacenick poetry straight from his colon brain to your eyes

A word of introduction for my overseas readers: Michael Leunig is a new-age, touchy-feely leftist cartoonist and "philosopher" who's always drawing godwful cartoons complaining about the horrors of modern life. Really, really deep stuff like this. He also once told us that we should "find a place in our hearts for the humanity of Osama bin Laden" - along with his Dec.25 message that Christmas "is a family day and Osama is our relative".

In today's Age, Mikey-boy shares some emotive..."poetry": Reflections on the war moon. It's the same waffling, emotive writing style we see from other leftists kooks like Richard Neville and Jean Baudrillard: dramatic, poetic rhetorical waffle which sounds like it's arguing about something, but which is merely some loud echoes from an empty mind.

On the dreadful nights leading up to war the moon grew larger, brighter and more useful to the invaders. Never has moonlight on the bush and the paddocks, normally so beautiful, seemed as ominous and tragic; and so unlike itself, having now been conscripted into the service of man's inhumanity to man.

It seems evil Dubya now has no limits: he's conscripted the moon into his butchery!!! Personally, I'd be more worried about how he managed to transport all those paddocks and bushes into the Iraqi desert.

Truth may well be the first casualty but to the intuitive mind psychological truths are illuminated and available like never before. In wartime a nation's emotional culture and the inner truth of many individuals, normally so concealed or defended, suddenly become more visible.

Uh, what?

The Foreign Minister is interviewed on radio about the grim details of war. At the end of the interview he is thanked by the journalist. "It's a pleasure," responds the minister. The relieved, compulsive, additional throwaway afterthought is often the most fascinating detail.

Yes, the foreign minister is courteous to journalists. Quick, somebody alert Margot!

In an age where "getting it right" is everything, smart, accurate weapons may actually seem more moral, intelligent and correct.

So, less civilian casualties might be seen as a good thing? What, really????

In almost every town across the land is a war monument where boys and girls are initiated into a state of mind: a reverence for the sacred authority of militarism and the unassailable glory of war. All a sad tragedy of course, but one towards which allegiance is owed and by which you are bound.

Sure Mikey, that must explain all the anti-war sentiment that exists. Don't ya just love leftists? Any opinions that differ from theirs are the result of wicked right-wing indoctrination.

War begets war. Each hit creates a craving for the next .

Really? The Japanese and Germans - once the world's greatest war addicts - don't seem too keen on getting another "hit". Getting your ass kicked can have that effect.

Peace at any price? If war is what we must pay for peace then "any price" is what is being paid, for who can claim to deeply understand that price of war - it is incalculable and so is the complex, unnegotiable interest that must be paid as time goes on.

This gets my early nomination for Most Meaningless Paragraph of 2003

How does one support our troops and yet feel anger, shame and disgust for what they have been sent to do? By taking pity upon them, feeling compassion for their souls, and considering the plight of their families - and by refusing spiritually to salute the uniform.

Sounds like the hate-the-sin, love-the-sinner "support" offered to gays by people like Fred Nile. The compassion of contempt. What a guy.

When war is imminent or in motion, some identify emotionally with the power and authority of militarism, even to the desperate extent that they can see the rightness of any war. The drum sounds, they fall into line - hearts quaking and minds saluting.

This is about the level of infantile war psychobabble we get from peacenicks. Drum sounds?. You know of an army that still carries drums into battle?.

The strong father is in control at last, and he knows what's best.

It's the elected government, not the military, who makes the decisions to send people to war, you idiot. Democracy, remember? Yes we know it's a frightening concept, but the rest of us got over your Soviet-utopian model a long time ago.

Relief at last from uncertainty and the loneliness of vulnerable individuality. Salvation from the hell and humiliation of some lost inner cause, because they are marching with the victorious regiment and now it is the enemy who will be humiliated ... "Winners are grinners" is the cry of the lost soul.

Fancy people wanting to win a war. How unenlightened of them. Only through being defeated can we find our souls again!

Fast food. Fast war. Fast democracy. The American dream. But in the slowness of time?

Ten bucks to anyone who can understand what he just wrote.

If there is a clash of civilisations at hand it may well be between those in all nations who are able to stand in other people's shoes and those who need to stand on other people's shoes.

Emotional, dramatic, nonsensical. Illustrating his points has never been Leunig's strong suit.

We have heard much of Saddam's tortures, and who is in a position to deny any of this? What is interesting is the lurid, graphic and lingering fascination of certain media commentators. It's as if we didn't know that torture was horrible. Yet it's as if they have been tortured themselves, at least psychologically - or have done a bit of similar torturing to others or would like to. The fascination always seems to serve the function of demonising somebody rather than arousing compassion and sympathy for the victim.

Oh my goodness, how terrible: torture might give the impression that Saddam is a psychotic shit and should be overthrown. Whatever happened to objectvity? Is noone considering Saddam's feelings in this?

And now, for possibly the most appalling display of leftist-sociopath moral equivalency we've seen in a while;

The Prime Minister has mentioned a fiendish torture machine owned by Saddam which shreds human flesh. Prime ministers should leave such revelations to backbenchers. And besides, the average tool shed or workshop of an Australian suburban bloke is crammed full with torture implements - if you want to think about it like that.

Further comment unnecessary....


Samizdata's Johnathan Pearce on peacenicks

I have tried in my own mind to figure out what goes on inside the heads of supposedly intelligent people - folk with university degrees, who can produce work of great skill and complexity, but who, on this terrible issue of the day have the moral intelligence of total imbeciles. A sort of collective death wish seems to have gripped whole swathes of the smarter elements in our population.

Read the rest of it.

Quote (and article) of the day

Some people will tell you that slow is good - and it may be, on some days - but I am here to tell you that fast is better. I've always believed this, in spite of the trouble it's caused me. Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba....

- Hunter S. Thompson on motorcycling

The lunar-left's worse nightmare....

.....would be a quick and total victory with a minimum of casualties and the installation of a democratic government friendly to Americans. Deep down, I think the hate-america crowd would be quietly happy with lots of dead civilians: it would provide fuel for their sociopathic rage.

Oh No!!!!! Mwahahahaha

Dubya now has a 53% approval rating in Britain. Dammit, what happen to all that solidarity The Daily Saddam keeps telling us about?


Cruisers suck

I love motorcycles, but I hate cruisers. I took my bike in for a service today and they loaned me a Vulcan 800 for the day. I was reminded why I hate cruisers so much. I have nothing in particular against the Kawasaki Vulcan 800 (I'd rather own a Vulcan than a Harley anyday), it's just one representative of it's useless breed.

Why do people love these soggy, heavy, uncomfortable, underpowered lumps of shit? Draw up a list of what motorcycles should do, and the cruiser fails on pretty much every count.

They're tolerable bikes provided 100% of your riding is on long, straight highways. The throb of the v-twin and the ride position are great if your idea of fun is riding in an endless straight line. Personally, I'd rather watch paint dry.

These things just cannot go around corners: the soggy suspension wobbles around wildly, the footpegs scrape at any angle other than full vertical, and the tank-like weight wants to make the bike hit the tarmac.

I remember passing a bunch of tough-boy Harley riders in the twisty stuff near Bateman's Bay. Their attempts to keep up were laughable: those throttles sure made a lot of noise when opened, but they sure don't produce anything resembling speed, and my granny on a bicycle could have beat them around corners, which they had to crawl around.

The brakes are usually crap, the instrumentation & general design stupid, they have no top-end power, little luggage capacity and poor wind/weather protection.

Which brings me to the great motorcycle myth: that cruisers are "comfortable". What a load of ass. The seats are terrible, the suspension and ride position transfer all those bumps directly up your spine, the ludicrous vibration is irritating beyond belief and your upright torso acts as a wind sock.

If this is motorcycling, give me a bicycle any day.

You know what they say about slugs...

...they always leave slime in their tracks, or in Guardian creepoid Matthew Engel's case, his latest column, in which he reckons Iraqis are better off under Saddam than the US constitution.

No, really.

Social Democracy

Some good thoughts on this very subject over at

Why Marxists Love Osama

More goodness from Daniel Pipes.

Margot Kingston: idiot

Couldn't let this latest Webdiary nugget pass without comment:

With one decision, we have lost our friends in our region and the goodwill and protection of the United Nations

Lost our friends? Who were they exactly Margot?

And "the goodwill and protection of the United Nations"??? BWAHAHA. Lordy, we won't be "protected" by the UN anymore...what a loss.

Further on, Margot graduates from nutty to nauseating;

John Howard says we are going to war to protect us from terrorism. Yet now, if we are hit, it will not be a terrorist attack, but an act of war in a war we began. We have made allies of our enemies, and enemies of our friends.

Yep, the teenagers who will die in the next Kuta were just asking for it. Mind you, this is what she said about Kuta.

And now for some tired lefty lies;

Yesterday's decision was the culmination of policy Howard has steadily and deliberately pursued since his election in 1996.

Here cometh the bullshit...

First, disengage from Asia.

Care to give specifics Margot? The signing of massive trade deals with the Chinese? Bringing democracy to East Timor? (as opposed to Keating's "visonary" defence ties with the Jakarta junta). And Howard actually got that Australia-hating windbag Mahatir to visit.

Second, walk away from what Keating calls the international architecture.

I guess Howard might have walked away from it, if anyone could explain what the hell "international architecture" was. Maybe it was Keating's love for Papa Suharto, that being - you know - visionary leadership and all.

Leftist lies never die, they just grow mouldier.


More anti-west hatred from George Monbiot

Robert "Idi Amin was a Faggot" Mugabe and his English bum-boy George Monbiot... brothers in socialism

Leftist crackpot writer george Monbiot - as part of his endless crusade to prove the evils of democratic capitalism - is now blaming African starvation on the western warmongers. All guns, no butter, blah blah blah.

No mention - of course - of the fact that most of that continent is run by cro-magnon despots who are busy murdering or starving their people.

Whassa matter George? Never heard of Robert Mugabe? Funny how western aid is only getting to his ZANU-PF cronies. And there's lots of other stuff going on which doesn't seem to have much to do with racist whiteys in the west.

What's wrong George? Cat got your tongue?

We can expect Monbiot to comment on the Zimbabwe crisis once he figures out a way to blame the whole thing on Americans.


This is funny: a Google image search for "mugabe" comes up with this. Zimbabwe could do a lot worse.

Idiot of the day

Guardian dingbat Zoe Williams, gives us this clanger;

well, what I'm saying, really, is why can't Martin Sheen be president? Just till the threat of war has passed, and there's a new season of The West Wing. Come on, it's what everyone wants.

Yeah, dozens of people worldwide are clamouring for this as we speak.

Can't help but chortle.......

It appears the smelly, unwashed, screaming peace marchers are having to same affect in Britain that they are here: they're increasing support for the war.

Whacking Media Watch

Alex Robson delivers a well-deserved bollocking to pompous, hypocritical Media Watch host David Marr.

The FBI fumbles

A troubling article from Daniel Pipes.

Losing your mind in public

...that's what peacenick Helen Caldicott is doing. Check out this jabbering-psycho-speech she gave at some womens' anti-war conference.

The speech was basically: men are psychos, Americans are psychos, the Americans want to exterminate the planet, and naked protest will end the nuclear age.

You'll also notice plenty of examples of the trademark of leftist hysteria: TYPING IN UPPER CASE.


Capirossi & Ducati amaze at MotoGP test

Italian rider Loris Capirossi has set the fastest time at the pre-season MotoGP test at Catalunya.

This is a stunning psychological victory for Ducati, taking their beautiful but brand new 4-stroke V4 bike out to the first all-team test and coming out on top of the seemingly invincible Hondas, not to mention the other Japanese manufacturers, who have been well and truly humbled.

The Dukes did show signs of promise in their early tests, but to come out on top of the time sheets and set the fastest top speed is simply astonishing.

Ducati will win races this year. You can count on it.

Meanwhile, Suzuki and Kawasaki continue their humiliating slowness, running consistently 2-3 seconds per lap slower than the fastest bikes. These folks had their bikes built & racing last season, yet Ducati builds a bike which obliterates them straight out of the box.

One thing is for sure: this is going to be one hell of a GP season.......

Shopping tips for the stupid

I've written a piece over at on consumer choice & small business. Go read it now or I'll kill your puppies.

The aesthetics of car parks

Why can't car parks be made beautiful? That and other thoughts in a great post over at Samizdata.


Had a nice restful long weekend, hence the lack of bloggage. I'm back now. Lots of e-mail to be answered still. I'm getting to it.

Looking for older whackings?

Wanna see my previous rants against lefty, commie, peacenick wankers, plus lots of fun stuff about motorcycles, music and movies?................ Click here for the full past whackings index


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