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Whacking Archive 28 October 2004 Men in pyjamas to bring the next holocaust The Guardian - brace yourselves - has printed an article telling us how stupid and dangerous Americans are.The unshakeable proof lies in that most vile and sadistic of all yank pastimes: baseball. I swear to Christ I'm not making this up.
You
just can't parody these fucking loons anymore.
If
you have a website, please link to the sites listed under "Death
To Spam" on the right-hand sidebar. Linking to those pages helps
to bugger up the spambots.
I posted a list of questions to a pro-Castro nut on Usenet. Another pro-Castro nut provided some thoughtful responses. Read and be educated. My questions are in blue:
Hmmmm....a look at this idiot's e-mail address and some googling revealed something rather interesting: this is where he works. I
wonder what his employers would think of his geopolitical wisdom.
27 October 2004 Suzuki TLR: Hamamatsu's lost V-twin Two days ago, I posted about Honda's SP2, the bike Honda didn't want to build, but did, just so they could beat Ducati. While it was the first time a twin from Japan had beaten Ducati, it certainly wasn't the first time a Japanese twin had been built for that purpose. Suzuki had been racing in World Superbike since 1996 with the four-cylinder GSXR-750. Suzuki (and pretty much everyone else) were bewildered why such a superb sportsbike on the road made such a dismal racebike. Suzuki made the decision to play Ducati at it's own game and build a 1000cc v-twin. The 1997 release of the TL-S v-twin proved popular, even if the bike proved a twitchy beast of a thing to ride. It was well-priced and very powerful: a full 15hp more grunt than the street version of the Ducati 916. The idea of a full-on superbike-spec version was promising indeed. The following year saw the relase of the TL-R. It featured an upgraded, fuel-injected version of the TL-S motor, an upgraded chassis and sharper steering geometry. It certainly looked the part, and certainly seemed more capable of providing a competitive race platform than the troubled GSXR, especially as Suzuki made available to the public a factory-level racing kit, allowing anyone with the money the same level of race technology as the Suzuki factory itself.
Sadly, none of it worked out the way Suzuki had hoped. First reports from the motorcycling press were underwhelming: the bike was a whopping 18kgs heavier than the GSXR, less aerodynamic, was difficult to set up and didn't handle. Everyone loved the motor though. It was in fact at the time arguably the best production sportsbike engine in the world. Inexplicably, Suzuki had wrapped this class-leading engine in a fat, ill-handling tub of a chassis. Even more inexplicably, it had retained the controversial rear rotary suspension damper from the TL-S, an innovation which everyone hated the first time around. The unit faded badly during fast riding and never seemed to give the rider what they wanted. During the release, the Suzuki engineers promised they would have no problem cutting weight and setting the bike up for world superbikes. But the bike never showed. It would never enter a race in world supers, though it did do some round of the American and German superbike championships with poor results. By the end of '99, word had got out that Suzuki had quietly dropped the whole project. Production of the bike ended two years later. The TLR did not receive a single update during its production run, other than a change of paint schemes. It makes you wonder why the hell they bothered. Sad really. While it was a disaster as a race machine, it made a hell of a roadbike, especially compared to the TL-S. Great looking & sounding, it had an arse-kicking motor and a stable chassis that made it a blast to ride through a series of fast sweepers. While it never sold as well as the GSXR, it sold a lot more than Honda did with the SP2. It is also interesting to note that the best part of the TLR lives on: The engine (in various states of tune) is today used in the Suzuki sv1000 series, the V-Strom, the Cagiva Raptor, the Bimota SBK-8, the Bakker Barracuda and probably a few others I'm forgetting. It's
fair to say that while the original goals of this odd project were never
met, the sales of its engine have proved to be a nice little earner for
Suzuki.
Retired diplomat Tony Kevin, who can't understand why the Australian public doesn't care about the SIEV-X issue (essentially, an unseaworthy foreign ship sinks in foreign waters, killing 353 people, and it's somehow all John Howard's fault), is very angry about the federal election result. Apparently, it was the result of the nasty, unfair voting system we have:
A majority of voters prefered the Coalition to Labor, so it's "perverse" that the Coalition got elected. I don't quite get it myself, but fear not, Tony elaborates:
I gather arithmetic wasn't Tony's favourite subject at school. Let me say this for any slow-witted readers out there: if a candidate gets a majority of primary votes, you don't need to go to preferences. If the Greens voters stayed with Labor, the Coalition candidate still wins. What is it exactly this pinhead doesn't understand about this? Kevin then contradicts himself by saying the Coalition won because people who voted for the government are selfish ignorant scum, unlike the caring, intelligent folk who vote Labor:
Shucks. I feel all guilty now. He moves on to a final summary:
Horrible. Fancy having a vote-counting system which favours the party that actually gets the most votes! Have we no shame?
(we can replace "public values" with "idiotic leftist social engineering that nobody wants")
Yes, like actually having policies people like. Fairly radical concept, no? If
people like Kevin are the intellectual core of Labor voters, the Coalition
will be in government for the next twenty years.
A note to my Western Australian readers If you ever find yourself in the same pub as Joe Vialls, pick up a barstool and bash the cunt's head in for me. Check out his latest report:
Even as a raving crank, Joe has weird delusions of normalcy:
Oh, and you know the bomb which injured 3 Aussie soldiers the other day? Joe says it was planted by 'Israeli Special Forces', to threaten Australia into providing more troops. Oh, and he refers to Saddam's regime as "the legitimate Batthist government". You
can e-mail Joe at joevialls@gawab.com
to tell him how much you appreciate his brave investigative work.
25 October 2004 Black sheep: The championship-winning Honda that Honda doesn't like In 2000, thanks to the idiotic rules of the Superbike World Championship favouring twin-cylinder bikes, the management at Honda decided to hold their nose and give a giant "fuck you" to the Italians: by building their own V-twin and beating Ducati at their own game. On a competition level, it went gangbusters: the VTR-SP1 and SP2 won two out of the three SBK titles it contested, before Honda pulled the plug at the end of 2002 to focus on MotoGP. It also won the 2002 American Superbike Championship.
Yet commercially, the SP1/2 never set the world on fire. While Ducati's super-sexy (and expensive) 916/996 range felt like tamed racebikes, the Honda in street form was comparitively heavy, sluggish and overpriced. Privateer racers could buy the Ducati and have a machine that was almost race-ready. The Honda needed lots money and effort to be made into a racebike, which is why it never won races except with the support of the Honda Racing Corporation. Worse still, the SP was completely outpaced by its four-cylinder Honda stablemate, the Fireblade, which had more power, weighed 26kgs less and had superior road manners. Almost nobody who rode both machines preferred the SP2.... and the twin was $7000 more expensive. Too expensive to compete with the other Jap sportsbikes, too hardcore for the sports-touring market, too little prestige next to the Italians. Not that the bike didn't have it's fans. Like all Hondas, the SP is built like granite. Superb build quality, reliability and quality of finish. It was also a shitload more comfortable than its Italian rivals. And while it may have been overpriced compared to Jap four-cylinder machinery, it was still a hell of a lot cheaper than shelling out for a Ducati. And let's face it, for 95% of everyday road rides, the SP was a fast, booming v-twin that was a blast to ride. But unless you were willing to spend big bucks, the SP could only achive 8/10ths of what its competitors could when really pushed. Sure, you can upgrade the suspension and do some engine performance mods, but should the owner of a $21,000 motorcycle really have to do this just to bring it up to scratch? Honda stopped developing the bike after it won the 2002 SBK title. World Supers now allows 1000cc four-cylinder bikes, and even Chris Vermeulen's semi-factory rookie effort nearly stole the title from the factory Ducatis this year. So Honda have gone back to concentrate on what they're best at: supremely fast, affordable four-cylinder superbikes for the masses. There will be no SP3, and the only changes to have happened to the bike since then has been the paintwork. The sales figures are unlikely to have even covered the development costs. The existence of the SP bikes can be put down to one thing: pride. Honda's V4's weren't enough to beat Ducati under the superbike rules, so they built an overpriced V-Twin with limited commercial appeal, just so they could enter SBK and turn it into a title-winning machine. They succeeded that twice, then dropped the whole thing, mission accomplished. The
SP2 is still in production, but for how much longer? I don't know, but
I'll wager it's going to be the last japanese v-twin superbike we're going
to see for a long, long time.
Race gangster squeals against government Aboriginal commie activist Sam Watson is suffering an acute case of hyperbole over the federal election result:
"Forced removal" = taking a bunch of parasitic race-gangsters off the public payroll.
John Howard is to blame for oppressed peoples everywhere? The untouchables in Asia, the non-muslims in Muslim countries, the entire population of Cuba? Well,
I guess it was nice for the creepy commie to put 'final solution' in quotation
marks.
The world's most politcally-correct tyrant has some more friends down under with the "Australia-Cuba Friendship Society". I've been having fun with their online petition to stop the evil USA's cruel treatment of Castro's totalitarian shithole. You type your name in to the box at the bottom, and it gets added to the petition. In the spirit of solidarity with my pro-Castro communist brothers, I typed the following names into the box:
Please visit their page and add your "name" to the petition. It'll be fun. Well, it'll be more fun than reading the ACFS newsletter. It includes a report on Aledia Guevara, daughter of the fascist murdering thug Che Guevara:
Hmmm, let's have a look at Aledia's "humanity" shall we? After some heartwarming recollections of daddy and Uncle Fidel, we have this charming passage...
Nice
people, these communists.
23 October 2004 Daily Mirror weasel Brian Reade - who comes across as a bloke with a serious bed-wetting problem - gives us more of his scintillating insights into American culture:
It's
amusing that a man can make an entire journalistic career from a raging
cultural insecurity complex.
A toy, just for the hell of it I've been thinking about buying a Honda CT110, better known as a 'postie bike':
A note to my overseas readers: in Australia, postmen use these bikes to deliver the mail, hence 'Postie Bike'. They are not available for sale to the general public, but Honda import around 1100 of them a year for Australia Post, who then auction off the old bikes. Some are used by pizza delivery companies (you can't see it very well in this photo, but there is a large metal carry rack behind the rider seat to which luggage boxes can be fixed, usually in the form of a humble milk crate), others by junk-mail delivery boys, and others by individuals who just want to own one. I have a soft spot for this bike: it was the first motorcycle I ever rode. The semi-automatic (a foot shifter, but no clutch) transmission, supremely light weight and low power output makes it ideal for getting used to the "feel" of being on a motorcycle. If you wanna get into motorcycling, you could do a lot worse than get one of these bikes and ride it around someone's backyard for a while. You'll get used to the feel of a two-wheeler with an engine moving beneath you, learn how to stay balanced, and changing gears with your foot. The tiny 110cc single-cylinder engine aint no powerhouse, but it has enough oomph to take you around the suburbs, and it's something you can service & fix yourself if need be. It's a great thing for zipping down to the local shops, as a backup bike if you don't own a car, or just as a fun toy to scoot around the city on. Fuel consumption is almost non-existent, as are maintenance, tyre and insurance costs. And it's a Honda, which means it will last forever if you take care of it. Its possible to find perfectly OK postie bikes for a grand, and for half that sometimes if you're willing to do a little work on it. Lots of people actually take these things long-distance touring, including dirt roads. One crazy bastard in Two Wheels magazine some years ago did an around-Australia trip on one. If
any of my readers owns one of these, or knows someplace to get a good
2nd-hand one, e-mail me at: tex <at> whackingday
<dot> com. I'm particularly interested in hearing about owner
experiences.
Some sorry-ass wanker thought it would be a great idea to set up a Charles Manson Fansite. It includes a collection of 'Manson Thoughts', the first of which is the entire text of a postcard the webmaster received from nice old Charlie:
Inspiring innit? This is a sentence, purple monkey dishwasher climbed out of my own xiphisternum. And here's some exciting Manson poetry:
Who
is Charles Manson? He's also got something to tell us about Ireland and spiders:
Charlie's also pretty keen on ecological issues:
Don't laugh. He's not being any more ideologically inconsistent than these arseholes. The
owner of this fansite needs a better hobby, like looking at animal porn.
Looking for older whackings? Wanna see my previous rants against lefty, commie, peacenick wankers, plus lots of fun stuff about motorcycles, music and movies?................ Click here for the full past whackings index |
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