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Live Whacking Archive
click "Live Whacking" button for the latest entries

28 October 2004

Men in pyjamas to bring the next holocaust

The Guardian - brace yourselves - has printed an article telling us how stupid and dangerous Americans are.The unshakeable proof lies in that most vile and sadistic of all yank pastimes: baseball.

I swear to Christ I'm not making this up.

under present circumstances, "World Series" seems symptomatic of a dangerously solipsistic popular consciousness.


Baseball illustrates one of American nationalism's distinctive characteristics: the identification of the universal with the American, an identification rooted in the belief that America is not one nation state among many but the unique embodiment of an idea.

You just can't parody these fucking loons anymore.


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A letter from an idiot

I posted a list of questions to a pro-Castro nut on Usenet. Another pro-Castro nut provided some thoughtful responses. Read and be educated. My questions are in blue:

Perhaps you could use this opportunity to tell us why.....
- Cubans can't have free elections?

Same reason the Nazi parti is illegal in Oz and why the Communist
party was in USA. None of us can boast free elections.

- they're not allowed to leave the country?

Its a communist country. Leaving would consume collectively owned

- they can't have private property?

In a communist country everything is collectively owned. Thats what
makes it communist.

- they don't have freedom of speech or assembly?

Neither do we. I remember the police smacking people with batons near
King George Square, Brisbane, in the 70s. I note we have a racial
villification act and other constraints on freedom of speech. In fact
we had someone locked up for telling people a legal way to vote.

- why political opponents and independent journalists are imprisoned,
beaten and/or murdered?

Pauline Hanson.

- there is no indepedent media?

You think *our* media is independent?

- gays and AIDS patients are put into charming 'sanitoriums'?

They know the score beforehand. Our AIDS sufferers are free to infect
others. In fact the rights of AIDS sufferers here override the rights
of others in Australia. Which is sillier?

- if the Cuban people are so happy, why do thousands risk drowning to
swim to the USA?

I suspect thousands would go the other way for a holiday if the USA
allowed it.

- indepedent librarians get arrested and have their books confiscated?

Happens here too. Hundreds were recently arrested for possessing and
circulating kiddie porn. Good thing too. But thats just my opinion.

Come on Fagsbag, tell us how wonderful Castro is....

Agree or not with his philosophy, Castro is one of the most successful
leaders of our time. If the Yanks weren't so hung up on personalising
problems Cuba would be much better off.

The Yanks are just pissed off that they tried to invade Cuba and got
their arses kicked. Cuban contractors in Granada kicked arse again
till they ran out of ammo. Castro's face is an icon that symbolises
Americas underlying weakness. When Castro finally shuffles off the USA
will feel better but the underlying weakness will still be there.

personal opinion only

Hmmmm....a look at this idiot's e-mail address and some googling revealed something rather interesting: this is where he works.

I wonder what his employers would think of his geopolitical wisdom.


27 October 2004

Suzuki TLR: Hamamatsu's lost V-twin

Two days ago, I posted about Honda's SP2, the bike Honda didn't want to build, but did, just so they could beat Ducati.

While it was the first time a twin from Japan had beaten Ducati, it certainly wasn't the first time a Japanese twin had been built for that purpose.

Suzuki had been racing in World Superbike since 1996 with the four-cylinder GSXR-750. Suzuki (and pretty much everyone else) were bewildered why such a superb sportsbike on the road made such a dismal racebike.

Suzuki made the decision to play Ducati at it's own game and build a 1000cc v-twin. The 1997 release of the TL-S v-twin proved popular, even if the bike proved a twitchy beast of a thing to ride. It was well-priced and very powerful: a full 15hp more grunt than the street version of the Ducati 916. The idea of a full-on superbike-spec version was promising indeed.

The following year saw the relase of the TL-R. It featured an upgraded, fuel-injected version of the TL-S motor, an upgraded chassis and sharper steering geometry. It certainly looked the part, and certainly seemed more capable of providing a competitive race platform than the troubled GSXR, especially as Suzuki made available to the public a factory-level racing kit, allowing anyone with the money the same level of race technology as the Suzuki factory itself.

Sadly, none of it worked out the way Suzuki had hoped.

First reports from the motorcycling press were underwhelming: the bike was a whopping 18kgs heavier than the GSXR, less aerodynamic, was difficult to set up and didn't handle. Everyone loved the motor though. It was in fact at the time arguably the best production sportsbike engine in the world.

Inexplicably, Suzuki had wrapped this class-leading engine in a fat, ill-handling tub of a chassis. Even more inexplicably, it had retained the controversial rear rotary suspension damper from the TL-S, an innovation which everyone hated the first time around. The unit faded badly during fast riding and never seemed to give the rider what they wanted.

During the release, the Suzuki engineers promised they would have no problem cutting weight and setting the bike up for world superbikes. But the bike never showed. It would never enter a race in world supers, though it did do some round of the American and German superbike championships with poor results. By the end of '99, word had got out that Suzuki had quietly dropped the whole project. Production of the bike ended two years later. The TLR did not receive a single update during its production run, other than a change of paint schemes. It makes you wonder why the hell they bothered.

Sad really. While it was a disaster as a race machine, it made a hell of a roadbike, especially compared to the TL-S. Great looking & sounding, it had an arse-kicking motor and a stable chassis that made it a blast to ride through a series of fast sweepers. While it never sold as well as the GSXR, it sold a lot more than Honda did with the SP2.

It is also interesting to note that the best part of the TLR lives on: The engine (in various states of tune) is today used in the Suzuki sv1000 series, the V-Strom, the Cagiva Raptor, the Bimota SBK-8, the Bakker Barracuda and probably a few others I'm forgetting.

It's fair to say that while the original goals of this odd project were never met, the sales of its engine have proved to be a nice little earner for Suzuki.


Tony Kevin's head full of air

Retired diplomat Tony Kevin, who can't understand why the Australian public doesn't care about the SIEV-X issue (essentially, an unseaworthy foreign ship sinks in foreign waters, killing 353 people, and it's somehow all John Howard's fault), is very angry about the federal election result. Apparently, it was the result of the nasty, unfair voting system we have:

I want to talk about what the election arithmetic threw up yesterday. The anti-Coalition vote has now been split in such a way that our preferential voting system now works perversely, to keep the Coalition in power for as long as the economy performs well and the Coalition can play credible Fear cards ( boat people, interest rates, terrorism …. whatever the particular election context suggests will work best).

A majority of voters prefered the Coalition to Labor, so it's "perverse" that the Coalition got elected. I don't quite get it myself, but fear not, Tony elaborates:

If the Greens get upwards of 7 % of the public vote from now on – and there is no reason to think they won’t, because they are a well-led and well-motivated party on the rise; and if Labor is now stuck on a vote in the 37-39% range – then our preferential voting system will be inoperative in many of the key seats that win or lose elections – the marginals. We saw this happen over and over again last night – coalition candidates falling over the magic 50% figure, before counting could bring second preference votes into play.

I gather arithmetic wasn't Tony's favourite subject at school.

Let me say this for any slow-witted readers out there: if a candidate gets a majority of primary votes, you don't need to go to preferences. If the Greens voters stayed with Labor, the Coalition candidate still wins. What is it exactly this pinhead doesn't understand about this?

Kevin then contradicts himself by saying the Coalition won because people who voted for the government are selfish ignorant scum, unlike the caring, intelligent folk who vote Labor:

The division in Australian society now is pretty brutal: it is between people who have a public moral conscience which informs their vision of Australian society and their approach to politics, and those who simply do not care about – or even are unaware of - such issues and are comfortable to vote entirely selfishly and without any sense of a civil society.

Shucks. I feel all guilty now. He moves on to a final summary:

In summary:
- Our vote-counting system, which now favours the Coalition, is not going to change.

Horrible. Fancy having a vote-counting system which favours the party that actually gets the most votes! Have we no shame?

- Our public values are under growing threat now from the corrupting political culture of Howardism. It can only get worse from now on.

(we can replace "public values" with "idiotic leftist social engineering that nobody wants")

- The supporters of public decency in Australia have to learn how to make more efficient use of the voting system we now have

Yes, like actually having policies people like. Fairly radical concept, no?

If people like Kevin are the intellectual core of Labor voters, the Coalition will be in government for the next twenty years.


A note to my Western Australian readers

If you ever find yourself in the same pub as Joe Vialls, pick up a barstool and bash the cunt's head in for me. Check out his latest report:

Police Firing Squad Executes 50 Iraqi Traitors

In scenes chillingly reminiscent of Special Operations Executive liaisons with the French Resistance during World War II, dead Iraqi traitors who callaborated with the invaders lie on the ground in neat rows, as a warning to others who might also wish to betray their own people for a handful of shekels


Whenever an American is stupid enough to stick his head six inches too far out of the turret of a tank or armored car, there always seems to be a powerful AK 54 aimed and ready to pump a 7.62-mm bullet through his right or left ear. The fury of the citizen snipers is ice-cold and tightly controlled, meaning they very rarely miss their targets. If a sniper should miss with his first round he never fires a second, thereby denying the invaders the ability to backtrack the source of fire and destroy his house with a 120-mm high explosive shell from an Abrams tank gun.

Even as a raving crank, Joe has weird delusions of normalcy:

As an irritatingly even-handed analyst, I frequently get labeled as a "Muslim lover" or "Jew hater", but this is only because I refuse to bend over a table in the Religious Right's padded asylum, and allow a shrink to shove a syringe full of Thorazine [or whatever else he fancies] into my backside.

Oh, and you know the bomb which injured 3 Aussie soldiers the other day? Joe says it was planted by 'Israeli Special Forces', to threaten Australia into providing more troops.

Oh, and he refers to Saddam's regime as "the legitimate Batthist government".

You can e-mail Joe at to tell him how much you appreciate his brave investigative work.


25 October 2004

Black sheep: The championship-winning Honda that Honda doesn't like

In 2000, thanks to the idiotic rules of the Superbike World Championship favouring twin-cylinder bikes, the management at Honda decided to hold their nose and give a giant "fuck you" to the Italians: by building their own V-twin and beating Ducati at their own game.

On a competition level, it went gangbusters: the VTR-SP1 and SP2 won two out of the three SBK titles it contested, before Honda pulled the plug at the end of 2002 to focus on MotoGP. It also won the 2002 American Superbike Championship.

Yet commercially, the SP1/2 never set the world on fire. While Ducati's super-sexy (and expensive) 916/996 range felt like tamed racebikes, the Honda in street form was comparitively heavy, sluggish and overpriced.

Privateer racers could buy the Ducati and have a machine that was almost race-ready. The Honda needed lots money and effort to be made into a racebike, which is why it never won races except with the support of the Honda Racing Corporation.

Worse still, the SP was completely outpaced by its four-cylinder Honda stablemate, the Fireblade, which had more power, weighed 26kgs less and had superior road manners. Almost nobody who rode both machines preferred the SP2.... and the twin was $7000 more expensive.

Too expensive to compete with the other Jap sportsbikes, too hardcore for the sports-touring market, too little prestige next to the Italians.

Not that the bike didn't have it's fans. Like all Hondas, the SP is built like granite. Superb build quality, reliability and quality of finish. It was also a shitload more comfortable than its Italian rivals. And while it may have been overpriced compared to Jap four-cylinder machinery, it was still a hell of a lot cheaper than shelling out for a Ducati. And let's face it, for 95% of everyday road rides, the SP was a fast, booming v-twin that was a blast to ride.

But unless you were willing to spend big bucks, the SP could only achive 8/10ths of what its competitors could when really pushed. Sure, you can upgrade the suspension and do some engine performance mods, but should the owner of a $21,000 motorcycle really have to do this just to bring it up to scratch?

Honda stopped developing the bike after it won the 2002 SBK title. World Supers now allows 1000cc four-cylinder bikes, and even Chris Vermeulen's semi-factory rookie effort nearly stole the title from the factory Ducatis this year. So Honda have gone back to concentrate on what they're best at: supremely fast, affordable four-cylinder superbikes for the masses.

There will be no SP3, and the only changes to have happened to the bike since then has been the paintwork. The sales figures are unlikely to have even covered the development costs.

The existence of the SP bikes can be put down to one thing: pride. Honda's V4's weren't enough to beat Ducati under the superbike rules, so they built an overpriced V-Twin with limited commercial appeal, just so they could enter SBK and turn it into a title-winning machine. They succeeded that twice, then dropped the whole thing, mission accomplished.

The SP2 is still in production, but for how much longer? I don't know, but I'll wager it's going to be the last japanese v-twin superbike we're going to see for a long, long time.


Race gangster squeals against government

Aboriginal commie activist Sam Watson is suffering an acute case of hyperbole over the federal election result:

From that fatal moment when Howard claimed victory on election night, Aboriginal people have been talking up the need to mobilise across the nation so we can send “Dear John” a very clear message from within our camps. We know that Howard is an arch racist and we know he is absolutely dedicated to the destruction of ATSIC, the complete marginalisation of the Aboriginal political leadership and the forced removal of Aboriginal people from the mainstream national community.

"Forced removal" = taking a bunch of parasitic race-gangsters off the public payroll.

If we do not mobilise, if we do not show Howard that we are still committed to our struggle for liberty, our people will pay with the blood and suffering of generations yet unborn.


We will not allow Howard to implement his “final solution” for the Indigenous peoples of this land. We will march and we will demonstrate and we will resist whilst we still have breath in our bodies, in order to defend the rights and the needs of oppressed peoples everywhere.

John Howard is to blame for oppressed peoples everywhere? The untouchables in Asia, the non-muslims in Muslim countries, the entire population of Cuba?

Well, I guess it was nice for the creepy commie to put 'final solution' in quotation marks.


More Castro-loving scum

The world's most politcally-correct tyrant has some more friends down under with the "Australia-Cuba Friendship Society".

I've been having fun with their online petition to stop the evil USA's cruel treatment of Castro's totalitarian shithole.

You type your name in to the box at the bottom, and it gets added to the petition. In the spirit of solidarity with my pro-Castro communist brothers, I typed the following names into the box:

Castro should be Killed
Communists Are Murderers
Castro Sucks Elephant Cock
Why does Castro Put AIDS Patients in Jail?
Commies Should Be Beaten To Death
I Hope Fidel Dies
Why Does Castro Imprison Dissidents?
Why Aren't People Allowed To Leave The Country?
The Cubans Need A Leader Like John Howard
Bush Should Invade Cuba and Liberate The Cubans

Please visit their page and add your "name" to the petition. It'll be fun.

Well, it'll be more fun than reading the ACFS newsletter. It includes a report on Aledia Guevara, daughter of the fascist murdering thug Che Guevara:

Aleida Guevara, a Cuban pediatrician who has worked abroad from Nicaragua to Angola, and is an internationally known spokesperson for her country, addressed 600 people at Sydney University, July 5 with great humour, humanity and candour.

Hmmm, let's have a look at Aledia's "humanity" shall we? After some heartwarming recollections of daddy and Uncle Fidel, we have this charming passage...

In answer to a question about the recent arrests of 75 “dissidents” and the execution of three hijackers, Aleida explained that the imperialist news media had “made a great show” around this in response to “Cuba’s internal problems.” Those they call dissidents were actually “linked to a great power” which was “paying them to carry out provocations against the Cuban people”. They were in fact “mercenaries.”

She explained that it was “painful to still have this criminal code” including the death penalty, when the “Cuban people love and respect life.” However, given the recent spate of increasingly dangerous hijackings encouraged from Washington and Miami, it was necessary to weigh the lives of three people against that of 11 million.

Nice people, these communists.


23 October 2004

Deal with it, ya pansy

Daily Mirror weasel Brian Reade - who comes across as a bloke with a serious bed-wetting problem - gives us more of his scintillating insights into American culture:

A SURVEY has shown that only three per cent of British kids admit to being happy at school, yet 32 per cent of American kids do.

Might this have something to do with American kids needing to be drugged up on happy pills every morning because they half-expect a crazed gunman to be loitering in the physics lab?

It's amusing that a man can make an entire journalistic career from a raging cultural insecurity complex.


A toy, just for the hell of it

I've been thinking about buying a Honda CT110, better known as a 'postie bike':

A note to my overseas readers: in Australia, postmen use these bikes to deliver the mail, hence 'Postie Bike'. They are not available for sale to the general public, but Honda import around 1100 of them a year for Australia Post, who then auction off the old bikes. Some are used by pizza delivery companies (you can't see it very well in this photo, but there is a large metal carry rack behind the rider seat to which luggage boxes can be fixed, usually in the form of a humble milk crate), others by junk-mail delivery boys, and others by individuals who just want to own one.

I have a soft spot for this bike: it was the first motorcycle I ever rode. The semi-automatic (a foot shifter, but no clutch) transmission, supremely light weight and low power output makes it ideal for getting used to the "feel" of being on a motorcycle. If you wanna get into motorcycling, you could do a lot worse than get one of these bikes and ride it around someone's backyard for a while. You'll get used to the feel of a two-wheeler with an engine moving beneath you, learn how to stay balanced, and changing gears with your foot.

The tiny 110cc single-cylinder engine aint no powerhouse, but it has enough oomph to take you around the suburbs, and it's something you can service & fix yourself if need be. It's a great thing for zipping down to the local shops, as a backup bike if you don't own a car, or just as a fun toy to scoot around the city on. Fuel consumption is almost non-existent, as are maintenance, tyre and insurance costs. And it's a Honda, which means it will last forever if you take care of it. Its possible to find perfectly OK postie bikes for a grand, and for half that sometimes if you're willing to do a little work on it.

Lots of people actually take these things long-distance touring, including dirt roads. One crazy bastard in Two Wheels magazine some years ago did an around-Australia trip on one.

If any of my readers owns one of these, or knows someplace to get a good 2nd-hand one, e-mail me at: tex <at> whackingday <dot> com. I'm particularly interested in hearing about owner experiences.


Dick Brain

Some sorry-ass wanker thought it would be a great idea to set up a Charles Manson Fansite.

It includes a collection of 'Manson Thoughts', the first of which is the entire text of a postcard the webmaster received from nice old Charlie:

"This is a card with you on it. That's the only you I ever could be real with, in, about, for. Personal air is what from where. Tree is first line of my concern, for as a goat I need air."

Inspiring innit? This is a sentence, purple monkey dishwasher climbed out of my own xiphisternum.

And here's some exciting Manson poetry:

How many people?
There is only one.
How many places?
There is only the sun.
Where am I going?
You are where you stand.
Where are the answers?
It's all in God's hand.
Life and death got nothing to do with it. Time is a joke.

Who is Charles Manson?
He loves like a comet.
I'd give you a rose,
But it's covered in vomit.
Who reads this shit anyway?
It's duller than Camus.
You can't take a shit,
With a cat in your anus.

He's also got something to tell us about Ireland and spiders:

Man, I know nothing about Ireland. I'm not even sure if I spelled it right. I've seen movies and I've met Irish people that never been out of the basement. People would ask and I always would say Irish is my religion. How could it be a religion? It's a country. I'd say it's in a dream and religion is just a dream. Then I would see you guys fighting. How dumb. I've been fighting for space, air, mind, life -- all the things Irish people are born with and never question and don't know what it's like to really be alone without a space, without a soul to hold to. A pure nobody with nothing.

I thought once even a spider got a web and then I met a blind spider who just jumped and had no friend thing at all. Anything that came into his feelings was warred upon, bit and eaten. They are so smart, they can ride in the pockets of darkness up to a man's eye and bite it. Cons fear them. They are my spirit friend and I learned if you don't get in their feel space, they will stay out of yours.

Charlie's also pretty keen on ecological issues:

If I have rights, then the trees have rights. Trees are living things just as much as I'm a living thing. Who has the right to go chop the trees down? Nobody has the right to take life.

Don't laugh. He's not being any more ideologically inconsistent than these arseholes.

The owner of this fansite needs a better hobby, like looking at animal porn.


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