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Live Whacking Permalink Archive
click "Live Whacking" button for the latest entries

8-1-03

Civilised & sophisticated Europeans

The French are going back to one of the few things they're good at: persecuting Jews.
permalink

Michael Moore gets whacked

Our favourite gun-totin' Texan babe takes on our favourite media moron. The results are a thing of beauty.
permalink

My shot at Hollywood

I figure I've got a shot at a career in showbiz. I've started by writing an entire series of ER, further developing the high-quality screenwriting that show wins so many awards for. Here it is for your enjoyment.

ER SCRIPT, Ep 1:

"Stat!! Stat!!"
"Gimme 40cc's of tuforsexoxypropenuramine"
"Stat!! Stat!!"

ER SCRIPT, Ep 2:

"Stat!! Stat!!"
"Gimme 40cc's of tuforsexoxypropenuramine"
"Stat!! Stat!!"
"I love you"
"oh, go to hell"
"Stat!! Stat!!"

ER SCRIPT, Ep 3:

"Stat!! Stat!!"
<Random gunman runs in, causing havoc, bunch of people nearly die, everyone goes "phew", and security isn't bumped up>
"Stat!! Stat!!"

ER SCRIPT, Ep 4:

"Stat!! Stat!!"
<BIG ETHICAL PROBLEM arises, causing much arguing and furrowed brows. Shots of weeping children. Token mean character says something nice for a change, and the problem is resolved>
"Stat!! Stat!!"

ER SCRIPT, Ep 5:

"Stat!! Stat!!"
<Eriq La Salle broods. Ming Na Wen looks pretty and confused. Anthony Edwards looks in the mirror, looking really, really troubled. Noah Wylie says some more annoying stuff. Romantic arguments abound>
"Stat!! Stat!!"

ER SCRIPT, Ep 6:

"Stat!! Stat!!"
<Token lets-talk-about-lesbianism episode>
"Stat!! Stat!!"

ER SCRIPT, Ep 7:

"Stat!! Stat!!"
"Gimme 40cc's of tuforsexoxypropenuramine"
<bunch of stuff happens around Thanksgiving. Gooeyness ensues. Everyone gives thanks for working at the world's only hospital with no ugly doctors>
"Stat!! Stat!!"

ER SCRIPT, Ep 8:

"Stat!! Stat!!"
<BIG DRAMATIC EVENT, where of course all births, deaths and marriages happen at the same time>
"Stat!! Stat!!"

ER SCRIPT, ep 9:

"Stat!! Stat!!"
<David E Kelly takes over the show. The entire female cast is replaced after they all die of anorexia-related complications>
"Stat!! Stat!!"

TV at it's finest.
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