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Live Whacking Permalink Archive
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25 August 2003

The Road to Kookville

When I was in Sydney a few weeks back, I was rummaging through a cheap-ass book store, and stumbled across a real gem for only $1.95: the remarkable tome The Threat: Revealing the secret alien agenda by David M. Jacobs PhD.

If you want a case study in how well-spoken, well-educated people can argue passionately for the most insane beliefs, you'll have a hard time going past this effort.

Jacobs uses interviews with the mentally handicapped real alien abductees to show how alien invaders are conducting a secret breeding program, incubating fetuses in human hosts to create human-alien hybrids.

Part of this process is the creation of the fascinating Extrauterine Gestational Units within the pregnant women. Apparently the aliens fill the pregnant women with "air" to create extra space for all them little alien eggs. Jacobs knows this because the women reported these bizarre symptoms during pregnancy:

I was feeling really big. I felt really big.

and even more unheard-of sensations:

It feels like someone is rolling something inside me.

Alarmed, Jacobs convinced one of the women to undergo an ultrasound, and he makes a shocking discovery:

...the ultrasound showed the space where the mass had been, but the mass was gone.

Gasp - the evidence was gone and replaced by a regular preganancy. Creepy, no?

Elsewhere, Jacobs manages to devote one whole page to the small technical problem of aliens being able to travel such distances merely for the sake of hanky-panky and anal probing. He says:

The problem is not how the aliens get here but that they are here. The "how" is ultimately a technological detail.

Ah well that settles it then.

I found it odd that the aliens (who - amazingly - all speak English and bear a remarkable resemblance to the oily muppets in Close Encounters) would go to so much trouble to create a secret abduction & breeding program and undetectable interstellar spaceships, yet at the same time all seem very keen to tell the abductees all about themselves, their home planet and their breeding program without even bothering to erase their memories or brainwash them.

Jacobs goes on to outline the incubation process, adult alien hybrids (who show behaviour amazingly similar to selfish, horny adult men), alien takeover plots, and other random dementia. It really is an amazing exercise in controlled madness.

It could be worse: he could have written Stupid White Men.
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