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Live
Whacking Permalink Archive
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15
September 2003
Climaxing
for Clinton
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Oooh!!
Do me with your big wand Bubba!!
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Check
out this
load of simpering drivel from that noted cheesebrain Anne Summers,
already recoiling from the upcoming visit of Evil Dubya, and pining for
the days when we were visited by the world's most famous sex-predator.
Bush's presence
is likely to trigger anti-US demonstrations of a kind we have not seen
since October 1966 when president Lyndon Baines Johnson (LBJ) became
the first US president to visit Australia.
[...]
In November 1996
Bill and Hillary Clinton stayed in the country a whole five days. They
shopped, went snorkelling on the Great Barrier Reef, played golf and
jogged (him), investigated women's issues (her) and generally relaxed.
Everywhere they went, they were mobbed by friendly, even adoring crowds.
A notable highlight
of the trip was on November 21 when Clinton stood in Sydney's Domain
and addressed a lunchtime crowd. Thousands of people had streamed from
the city to get a first-hand look at the famous president (and this
was pre-Monica) and to have the incredible experience of hearing him
speak in person.
That day Clinton
looked ahead towards the 2000 Olympics and said he could not think of
a better place for the athletes of the world to come together: he spoke
eloquently of how Sydney was, in his eyes, a model multicultural city.
[...]
As
Clinton spoke that day, many in the crowd were in tears. He had held
up a mirror to our society and many, if not most, of those who were
there preferred his image to the one being proffered by Hanson. We liked
what he said about our city and, by implication, our country. We felt
proud and we were moved.
[...]
Unlike Clinton,
Bush will not brave an outdoor crowd. He will speak to the Australian
people from the safety of the Federal Parliament. Given his reputation
for rhetorical bumbling, we know not to expect to be inspired, let alone
moved.
We can
also not expect him to bomb pharmaceutical factories to distract the public
from his weird sexual obessions, nor expect him to ignore several offers
to hand over Osama Bin Laden on account of being too busy getting blowjobs
in the oval office.
Stupid
bint.
link
The Death Penalty
Top-notch
article by my libertarian
& ANU colleague Alex Robson.
link
Near-death experience
I made
the mistake of channel surfing at 10.30pm and accidentally came across
talentless commie Brit singer Billy Bragg singing some atonal dirge about
Evil White People, or something. Fucking mullet.
link
Where can I buy this stuff?
Thanks
to John B. for this: some bitchingly cool new-style
PCs.
link
Living on the edge
Welcome
to the latest thrillseeking activity: Extreme
Ironing!
(Thanks
to Dan for the link)
link
A crash-course in languages
This
is great.
I especially liked some of the useful french phrases:
We
surrender!
Nous nous rendons!
Yum! Beaver
cheese!
Yiaaaam! Du fromage de castor!
A pot of
rabbit-noses in cream, please.
Une casserole de museau de lapin à la crème, s'il vous
plaît.
I am not
a saboteur disguised as a camembert. I am a real cheese, lieutenant. Honestly.
Je ne suis pas un saboteur en déguisément de camembert.
Je suis un véritable fromage, Lieutenant. Je vous le jure.
My God! They're
throwing Danish mustard! Run for your life!
Mon Dieu! Ils lancent de la moutarde danoise! Sauvez-vous!
Rationing?
Is that a problem? Everything is edible.
Rationalisation? Cela pose-t-il problème? Tout est tout de même
comestible.
Unfortunately
I cannot come and eat poodle guts on Friday. I'm attending a revolution.
Je ne puis malheureusement pas venir à votre dîner d'intestins
de caniche ce vendredi. Je participe à une révolution.
Mommy, when
I grow up, I want a whole farm of cows with a cold, so we can always eat
cattle snot.
Maman, quand je serais grande je veux être propriétaire
d'une ferme entière de vaches enrhumées, ainsi nous pouvons
toujours manger de la morve de bétail.
Tell me,
have you ever eaten an exploded pacific isle? Me neither. We must do something
about it.
Dis-moi, as-tu déjà mangé de l'île de l'océan
pacifique sautée? Moi non-plus. Il faut qu'on fasse quelque chose.
(Thanks
for Carol for the heads-up.)
link
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