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14 July 2008

Quote of the day

Mother Earth can kiss my ass. The earth only has value because I can exploit it to make my life easier. Humans are important. The earth is not, and it has no rights. My toilets empty into the earth, and the earth should be grateful to receive and process my waste, because it's helping a human being live a clean and healthy life. Open wide, Gaia. I got another little snack for you.

- Steve H.

 


Hey Pope Benedict, welcome to Australia. Now please fuck off....

Hey, I'm sure he's the nicest ex-Hitler Youth religious leader you can meet, but I just can't get all excited about his visit.

First, we get crypto-fascist laws making it illegal to "annoy" his pilgrims, and the now usual array of heavy-handed "security" measures by the increasingly paramilitary NSW police force.

Second, we get thousands of delusional, idiot pilgrims creating traffic chaos and generally making noisy idiots out of themselves.

Third, taxpayers have to pay millions of dollars for all this shit.

Fourth, we get irritating blanket TV coverage of this wanker festival.

...and last but not least, today Sydney motorcyclists who were parked in designated motorcycle parking spaces get their bikes towed away by arsehole parking rangers and their Boys-in-Blue escorts.

Why? Well, I'm sure they were....um...a severe security risk or something.

 


Blowing up huge amounts of shit

Very cool. Especially the sound.

 


MotoGP 2008: so, what the hell is going on already?

This has to be the weirdest season in a long time.

First, Stoner crushes them in Qatar. Then, his season starts going down the toilet at an alarming rate as he crashes and experiences shitty luck while rookie Lorenzo and the other Spanish dwarf Pedrosa score wins.

Then Rossi gets his mojo back and wins three in a row. His remarkable Rookie teammate Lorenzo crashes and hurts himself pretty badly, and has been nowhere since.

Now, Stoner, from outta nowhere, comes back and wins three in a row, including last night's race in Germany, while championship leader Pedrosa crashes while enjoying a 7.5 second lead.

Now, Rossi is back on top of the points table.

Talk about a yo-yo season.

Sadly, while the results have been interesting, the races have tended be processional and rather dull, with the respective winners looking like they've done it pretty easily.

Please, Dorna, go back to the 990s

 


When schizophrenia is fun

I'd quite like to ride one of these around Australia: Buell's strange and fascinating XB12X, aka the Ulysses.

I've written before about Buell's wonderfully oddball sports bikes, which shovel ancient and overweight Harley Sportster engines into radical modern chassis. Now they've had a stroke of genius and done the same thing to create an all-roads adventure machine.

It's no "serious" adventure bike, like BMW's R1200GS Adventure, so you won't be taking it over any sand dunes, but it still seems to cut the mustard as an all-road tourer. It certainly looks better and can probably out-handle practically anything in the soft-roader market. It's a Buell though, so build quality is still questionable.

Still, I'd have one. Another to be added to my possible next-new-bike purchase list.

Here's Buell's official clip.

 


"No way, get fucked, fuck off"

Got back from Melbourne a few days ago, where I saw The Angels.

Old and slow they may be, and Doc Neeson looks worse than Keith Richards, but goddamn the fuckers can still play.

 


Badass poultry

If I ever open a pub, I'm hiring these chickens for security.

 


The Matchstick Racer

Got a lot of time on your hands? You like Formula 1 racing?

So does this bloke.

 


From the files of "What the fuck?"

Are you a completely clueless cockspank who thinks a motorcycle is a car with two less wheels? Well don't worry, you can buy yourself the mighty Rocketshield:

Oh dear. Oh dear.

 


Communist idiot dies

Joan Williams was a communist for seventy years when she died on June 21, 2008, aged 92.

In other words, her entire adult life was devoted to a genocidal ideology. What a piece of shit.

 


Hugo Chavez: economic genius

I missed this little gem from back in May:

Chavez Price Controls Mean Record Oil Fails to Prevent Shortage

By Matthew Walter

May 23 (Bloomberg) -- A day's drive west of Venezuela's Orinoco Belt, where the largest liquid deposit of oil in the Western Hemisphere helped deliver $13.9 billion for social programs last year, security guard Efrain Rengifo waits in a queue outside a government-run grocery.

The line spills out of the concrete-block Super Mercal in Barinas, capital of a beef-producing region in the home state of President Hugo Chavez. The avowed socialist is trying to redistribute the country's wealth, blunt U.S. influence and rid capitalism of what he calls its ``anti-values.'' Socialism is Christ; capitalism is Judas, Chavez says.

Rengifo stands with his wife in the April heat while street vendors hawk empanadas and iced cups of juice. He wears the red T-shirt of an education program set up by Chavez, who has defined socialism as ``attending to all of the needs of everyone.''

On this day, the Super Mercal isn't delivering on that promise. In a country blessed with enough crude to make it OPEC's sixth-largest producer, the store has no milk, no chicken, no cooking oil and no flour.

``You have to show up on the right day if you want to find everything you're looking for,'' Rengifo, 43, says.

Rengifo's predicament is a symbol of the warped economics that have taken root in Venezuela. Surging prices have more than doubled the value of oil in the past year. That hasn't put food on the table. Price-controlled staples are often in short supply. Beef production declined last year even as consumer demand surged. Venezuelans are buying new cars as investments. A currency black market is thriving. Inflation hit an annualized 29 percent in April.

Reminds me of that great joke about Fidel Castro;

Q: What would happen if you put Castro in charge of the Sahara desert?

A: Nothing for five years, then there'd be a shortage of sand.

Bwahahaha.

 


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