The Dog's Tits Brain Police Grumpy Old Farts Encomium Jeebus
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23 January 2007 I am a sinner that does not expect forgiveness. But I am not a government official. - corrupt, serial-murdering sexual deviant Francis Wolcott, Deadwood
Idiot receives posterior on crockery Überconservative cockspank Dinesh D'Souza gets pwned by Robert Spencer.
The multitude of spelling and grammatical errors from the Deadwood post have been fixed. Oy.
Well, I know one particular "community" that probably will.
Lordy this film sucked. Michael Mann, when in form, is the world's best director. Heat, The Insider and Collateral were just mighty. This makes his occasional duds hard to explain. Ali was a tedious, incoherent mess, but at least the boxing scenes were superb. Miami Vice is a disaster. Absolutely nothing about this movie works. The story is boring and hard to follow. The action scenes - at which Mann usually has no peer - are muddled and badly shot. The actors have little to work with, and they don't work with it very well. Chinese actress Gong Li is simply unintelligible in about half of her lines. Her romantic subplot with Colin Farrell has all the passion of a Star Trek convention. Jamie Foxx does a lot of macho preening, and little else. Mann falls into his occasional trap of too-clever-for-himself hip-street dialogue. It is incoherent and unconvincing as a drama, it is simply boring and muddled as a thriller and/or action movie. Some of Mann's other talents seem to be in shocking decline. The cinematography, once his strong point, seems to have been supplanted by murky, hand-held digital cameras. The choice of music was awful: lots of Audioslave, which might sound great in a pub, but grates horribly here. The whole film has a feel of something which was thrown together and the last minute and changed whilst being made. The first ten minutes are actually pretty good. Then the film goes nowhere very slowly. The horrible part is that Mann is actually planning on making a sequel to this shit.
On the subject of shit movies, everyone on the internet has been wetting their pants over the new trailer for 300, the movie based on the battle of Thermoplyae.
I have one thing to ask these folks: what the fuck is wrong with you people? If the trailer is anything to go by, this movie is gonna be a mountain of shit to rival Battlefield Earth. I was sniggering with bemused horror while watching it. The dialogue looks howlingly bad, the acting reaches new heights of ham, the 'cinematography' is stylised CGI crap that looks like it was shot through pantyhose. The thing which nauseates me is that this isn't really the story of the battle of Thermopylae, it's based on a fucking comic book by Frank Miller, the mention of whose name results in ejaculations from millions of dateless web nerds worldwide. From IMDB:
Oh puke. What's next, a sequel featuring Luke Skywalker and Spiderman? The battle of Thermopylae is one of the most important events in the history of western civilisation. It deserves a better film treatment than some comic-book wank designed for fanboys too stupid to read books. For a fictional treament which does justice to the reality of Thermopylae, read Steven Pressfield's Gates of Fire. You'll need an IQ above room temperature though.
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