The Dog's Tits Brain
Police Grumpy
Old Farts Encomium
Jeebus
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18 January 2006 This is a great catalogue if you like umlauts - Me, while browsing through an IKEA catalogue
I see one of the awful Baldwin brothers has become an avenging angel of jeebus, who apparently told him to go forth and stop pornography. Doesn't god ever tell these freaks to do something useful, like shutting the fuck up?
I only have a vague understanding of the Canadian political system, but it's been highly amusing watching the deranged campaign being run by the uber-lefty fruit-loops in the governing liberal party. Canada: the New Zealand of the Northern Hemisphere. Let's just hope they don't have the same electoral results.
A question for my bicycling readers Have any of you used a Rohloff Speed Hub or a Schlumpf Mountain Drive? Was it worth the money? Please let me know at tex{at}whackingday{dot}com. If I get a trike, I may get these fitted. I am so goddamned sick of cog-crunching and slipping gears.
The most overrated computer game of all time Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas sucks donkeyshit. Reviewers and the gaming public have collectively creamed their shorts over this game, where you get to be a gangsta and chill wit' da homeez, yo. It has an atrocious control system, howlingly awful "badass gangsta" cut scenes, and some of the worst enemy AI since Space Invaders. I think this game appeals to sad white nerds who drive Riceboy cars and desperately wanna be homeboys. Yes, the fact that the whole 'gameworld' loads at once is cool, as are the radio stations and fake ads, but everything else blows. Driving is a clumsy pan in the ass, as is running, fighting, finding your way around, the entire game interface, and pretty much everything else. If you're one of these sad wankers who has wet dreams about Tupac Shakur, you'll love GTA. I hear some cool stuff happens later in the game, but I don't have the slightest inclination to find out what they are. Frankly, the whole thing is a pale imitation of The Simpsons: Hit & Run, which is pretty much the same game, only about a hundred times more fun, a million times funnier and without a trace of sad hip-hop-wannabe dork fantasies. Gags abound, and the "virtual Springfield" is astounding. Plus you get to drive such iconic Simpsons vehicles as the pink family sedan, the Canyonero, the Mr. Plow truck, the Honor Roller, the monorail, the "Homer", the Malibu Stacy car, Apu's Trans Am, and Groundskeeper Willie's tractor. And any game where one of your missions is rounding up Dr. Nick Riviera's escaped laboratory monkeys is all right by me. As for GTA: San Andreas, wake me up when the boredom ends, homie.
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